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RE: To Spank - 9/17/2008 9:37:18 AM
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Tinkerbell_
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Proverbs 13:24
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RE: To Spank - 9/17/2008 10:24:23 AM
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Leslie_JnJs_mom
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It is interesting how people like to use the spare the rod spoil the child verses from the bible. The rod the bible talks about is a shepards rods used to gently guide sheep. It is never used to beat the sheep.
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RE: To Spank - 9/17/2008 11:09:20 AM
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bzirk
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Leslie_JnJs_mom
It is interesting how people like to use the spare the rod spoil the child verses from the bible. The rod the bible talks about is a shepards rods used to gently guide sheep. It is never used to beat the sheep.
I say this with all due respect. Your comments make it clear that you have not been around sheep and those who manage flocks.
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RE: To Spank - 9/17/2008 12:30:26 PM
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DaveW
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Proverbs 23
13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.
14 If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.
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RE: To Spank - 9/17/2008 12:35:23 PM
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Fritzpw_Admin
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Leslie_JnJs_mom
It is interesting how people like to use the spare the rod spoil the child verses from the bible. The rod the bible talks about is a shepards rods used to gently guide sheep. It is never used to beat the sheep.
It was not unusual for a shepherd to break a leg of a particular sheep that kept running away to help it not wander off.
Of course, I don't recommend breaking your child's leg or any other part of his/her body.
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RE: To Spank - 9/17/2008 1:34:44 PM
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Tinkerbell_
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That's a very practical, clean way of looking at it Cloak.
However sometimes time and circumstances don't allow for that. Instead of judging parents who are doing the best they can with what they know, consider that not everyone is born with the fortitude or experience in child rearing.
I know for a fact I was one of those parents who spanked my children in public and while I don't regret it because it was the best I knew how, I was also very young and very inexperienced and very frazzled with being a teenage mother.
One thing to keep in mind; you will RARELY see abusers spank their children in public. Why? Because they have something to hide.
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RE: To Spank - 9/17/2008 2:08:48 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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These days, with all the CPS people on the alert, spanking in public is not a good idea.
I actually agree with Cloak on this one. I still have traumatic feelings sometimes from being spanked in public(as a child).
There is plenty of Biblical support for spanking, however, it IS possible to obsessively, compulsively overuse spanking.....and if a parent does use spanking, that shouldn't be the only time they pay attention to their child. They should give their children all kinds of positive attention during the un- spanking times.
I also believe spanking should only be used for direct disobedience, not for every time a child does one little imperfect thing (OK, yes, I have some issues with having been over spanked-although to be fair, that has been repented of  --many times over  ).
ETA...re:spanking in public: there is a diffrence between a quick mild swat on the behind while the child is standing, than an over the knee, whale into the child, 100 swats with a level 10 pain intensity, and then placing the child back up on the chld's feet in a rough manner.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 9/17/2008 2:43:10 PM >
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RE: To Spank - 9/17/2008 4:35:31 PM
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Leslie_JnJs_mom
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I tried spanking and to tell you the truth I did not see any more improvement then time out or redirecting.
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RE: To Spank - 9/17/2008 6:15:20 PM
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bzirk
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It can't be said enough that kids are different in what they need to get a point. I know that my four have certainly been different in how they respond to discipline. IOW, some were more biddable than others. I had one who hardly ever got in trouble, and I have another who has a head like a rock and had a much tougher time learning to obey. Timeouts did not work with her at all.
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may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
Great quote: I just ain't God and don't know it all. -- SonInMe1
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RE: To Spank - 9/17/2008 11:22:41 PM
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spitzu
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I was spanked. My husband was spanked. After much discussion, prayer, and study, we have decided we will not spank.
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RE: To Spank - 9/18/2008 8:55:32 AM
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manda59
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As one who was spanked in public, I can tell you that all it did was give me lot of shame, low self-esteem and cause me to be withdrawn and resentful.
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RE: To Spank - 9/18/2008 9:06:27 AM
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Homegrownkids
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quote:
It can't be said enough that kids are different in what they need to get a point. I know that my four have certainly been different in how they respond to discipline. IOW, some were more biddable than others. I had one who hardly ever got in trouble, and I have another who has a head like a rock and had a much tougher time learning to obey. Timeouts did not work with her at all.
I agree. I have a child that I can look at sternly and he will obey. I have another that will obey, but talk back. I have another that needs spanked just to take the situation seriously enough to think about what they did to get the spanking, and another that even a spanking won't get through to them. Every child is different.
I was spanked as a child, but I don't remember being spanked in public. I don't think that is the best choice. I don't even like it when I hear mom's "yelling" at their children in the Walmart store. I think they should take it some place else to do that unless the child is in danger. I think that is just as embarrassing to the child as a spanking when they are getting scolded by a mother that can not control her tone of voice or what she is saying.
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RE: To Spank - 9/18/2008 9:49:37 AM
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isaacsmom
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We spank. We think it is scriptural to do so. We do not spank in public. We do not spank for every offense. Our two children are as different as night and day personality-wise. Sometimes it's more effective to take away a privelage from our 3-year-old, and our 20-month-old thinks standing in the corner is worse than a spanking most of the time.
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RE: To Spank - 9/18/2008 10:23:54 AM
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Mrs.Wifey
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We will spank, we believe that spanking is scriptural. We were both spanked as children, I can't ever remember being spanked in public and neither of us are traumatized by it... I do believe that different discipline works for different children and if something else works better then we will use that instead.
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RE: To Spank - 9/18/2008 10:57:05 AM
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Leslie_JnJs_mom
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How old is too old to spank? I do have to say that we spanked my son and he needed it when he got it. He is 16 now. He is my child that likes to talk back. Sometimes I think he needs a good old fashioned spanking.
You are right about spanking not working for every child. When we tried it with Jessica even though we would spank her in a very calm manner and always told her when she would get a spanking every time I got up to do anything she would hide from us. I found her several times covering her bottom when I got up. I found that I got better results from time out and my daughter is not scared of me all the time either.
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RE: To Spank - 9/18/2008 12:46:02 PM
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manda59
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Leslie_JnJs_mom
How old is too old to spank? I do have to say that we spanked my son and he needed it when he got it. He is 16 now. He is my child that likes to talk back. Sometimes I think he needs a good old fashioned spanking.
I consider any spanking counterproductive after about the age of 4 or possibly 5. By that age, I firmly believe that other more punishments, especially the more constructive ones, work far better all-round. At that age you can talk to a child, use reason, and also get them doing jobs as punishments, like cleaning the toilet, for example, or washing a floor, use time outs or impose financial penalties (we had a "fine" system for both children - they could earn "credits" by doing chores above and beyond their normal ones, but those credits could get taken away for bad behaviour)
AFter about the age of 4 or 5 I believe it too easily breeds fear, frustration and resentment. I believe it could easily come under the term of "exasperating" your children.
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RE: To Spank - 9/18/2008 12:54:47 PM
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Sideways
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Plus, once a child starts to mature sexually, spanking on the butt just strikes me as a really bad idea on sooooo many levels.
I agree that taking away privileges, extra chores and things like that are far more productive for an older child.
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RE: To Spank - 9/18/2008 12:57:08 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
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I can only remember being spanked once or twice after I was 6, and one of those times was when I hit my brother in the head with a rollerblade(and it was *very* intentional).
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RE: To Spank - 9/18/2008 1:01:10 PM
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Sideways
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Ouch, Ryanne! I think the last spanking I ever got (at age 9 which IMO is way to late) was for shoving my brother off my bed. He fell and hit his head pretty hard.
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RE: To Spank - 9/18/2008 1:17:21 PM
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3cappuccinosmom
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The last spanking I ever got was at age 9. I think I hadn't gotten any before that for years, but I disobeyed my parents, behaved in a selfish manner, disregarded safety warnings, and as a result pulled my baby sister's shoulder out of it's socket.  I had been pulling her around on the floor, which she *loved*, but my parents told me not to because it was dangerous, and I did it anyway.
I vividly remember that spanking and I fully deserved the application of that wooden spoon to the behind, and I knew that even at that young age.
My 5 yo gets very few real spankings. When he does they are for outright disobedience, dangerous behavior, or hurting his brothers. Swats on the hand are more common, and generally are enough to help him adjust his attitude/behavior. The three year old gets fewer spankings than his brother did at that age. He's just more compliant. The 16 mo gets very occasional, very mild swats for outright rebellion.
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