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RE: ZamDad's World - 4/23/2005 2:04:24 PM
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zamdad
Posts: 1668
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September 27, 2004
I just read Nailmom's blog for the most recent posting. I feel for her. You're in my prayers, Nailmom. I can't imagine how much it must hurt for parents to have to go through the agony of knowing that their child is out drifting and the dangers they could be placing themselves in. I have to give her credit though, for having the courage to let her son go and give him to God.
I decided to write my thoughts about this topic as somethings in her post struck me. Her son was sort of roughed up by the cops. It's hard to say for certain exactly what happened and, as she indicates, his story is only one side of the story.
Sometimes it seems like the cops get too rough with a suspect. Yet, when they encounter one, they give the commands they want followed pretty directly and clearly. The reasoning for this is for their own safety. In my training, we were taught to treat everyone being taken into custody the same. It does not make a difference how well we know the offender, follow the same procedures every time.
This was brought to life for me when I went out with local police to arrest a sex offender on a probation violation. "Jim" had violated his probation by babysitting some young girls. He had become friends with a couple he met and spent a lot of time over at the couples house. The couple spoke about how they rarely got to out by themselves because they could not afford a sitter. So, Jim, being the nice guy he was, volunteered to babysit. It turned out that he offered many times and that the oldest girl finally gave some kind of indication that something was wrong and the parents called the police.
The officer and I went to the restaurant where Jim was employed to make the arrest. Being new to the area, I let the seasoned officer conduct all the business. He walked in and asked if Jim was working. The waitress said Jim was in the back. We walked in the back and found Jim. The officer said that he was there to take Jim to jail for a probation violation. "What for," said Jim. "You were babysitting" said the officer. "Okay, can I clock out?" asked Jim. The officer let Jim punch the time clock and then asked Jim if he had a coat. He grabbed the coat Jim pointed to and checked the pockets. When he found nothing out of the orinary in the pockets, he handed the jacket to Jim and asked him if he had any thing else in his pants pockets. Jim said he had a comb, a lighter, and his wallet. The officer never checked. The officer turned and began walking toward the front of the restaurant. I was in complete disbelief that this officer had not cuffed Jim after announcing that he was taking him to jail, that he had not done a pat search, and that he turned his back on Jim, and walked out of the restaurant. When we arrived at the car, he placed the cuffs on Jim in the front, placed him in the backseat of the car, and we drove to the jail.
Luckily nothing happened. But the whole trip I was in a panic because Jim was sitting in the back seat, the cage was open, and he had never been checked for weapons. If Jim had wanted to, he could have reached through the cage and choked the officer with his handcuffs as he drove to the jail. Jim could have had a gun or a knife or a razor. If Jim had wanted to, he could have had complete control.
I've dealt with several offenders that I thought I knew well. I had developed a close relationship so that I felt that I could trust them if things became difficult. I have learned that when a persons freedom is threatened, they can become desperately unpredictable and will fight as if they are backed in a corner. The procedures we are taught in affecting an arrest are for our safety as well as the safety of the offender and anyone in the vicinity.
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RE: ZamDad's World - 4/23/2005 2:04:57 PM
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zamdad
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I finished a pre-sentence investigation on a man who pled guilty to failing to register as a sex offender. He will be sentenced in a couple of weeks. This investigation has been troubling from the beginning.
The man portrays himself as a minister. He provided a copy of his certificate of ordination. It was an organization I had never heard of and looked like something that could be made on any old computer. My initial conversation with the man was quite interesting. he spoke about how he had been a drug abuser for nearly 20 years and that he found the Lord and turned his life over to Christ and had become a minister. We spoke about the statute for failing to register as a convicted sex offender. He told me that the law was unbiblical and used a verse to support his position. I wish I could remember what verse he used, but I didn't write it down. I was able to look up the verse in my PDA and read it back to him. He quickly changed the subject.
I interviewed him again the other day and he refused to answer any of my questions. He told me that I did not need any of the information I was requesting. I was able to get information from other states and other jursidictions within my state as to his criminal history. He has been convicted of three seperate sex offenses and has been in multiple drug treatment facilities.
He reports that he is achanged man. yet, his failure to cooperate with me is an indication to me that he has not changed. His records reflect that this refusal to cooperate has been a pattern. He has been unable to demonstrate any real change.
The thing that scares me most about this man is that he portrays himself as a minister. He has a pleasant personality and can quote scripture. His whole motive, however, appears to be to get what he can for himself. There is a strong appearance that he uses his persona of being a minister get gain the trust of women whereby he can exploit them in a sexual manner and gain access to their finances.
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RE: ZamDad's World - 4/23/2005 2:05:43 PM
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zamdad
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I had an interesting conversation with one of my sex offenders today. It's another one of many conversations we have had over the past several years. the thing that gets me is that this is a gut who attends a local church every Sunday and frequently serves as an usher. He also drives their bus occasionally which troubles me in that it is public knoweldge that he is on probation for sexually molesting a couple of young girls.
He and I have ben conversing for the past several years about how he has been living in confllict with his values. When he was convicted, he had a sex offender assessment and the psycholigist who completed the assessment commented on how he was living in conflict with his values. He expressed how he thought it was wrong to live with a woman outside of marriage, that it was wrong to engage in sex outside of marriage, and that he believed in many biblical values. Yet, he has become sexual with every woman he has ever had a romantic interest in and has moved in with most of them.
For the past two years he has been living with one of the most evil women I have ever known. Myself and everyone else who has ever had opportunity to talk with him about this relationship have told him to get out before he is eaten alive. He has said on more than enough occasions that he plans to leave the relationship. But he never does.
He entered the realtionship while the woman's husband was in jail. The woman had been going to bat for her husband saying that he was innocent and that she was going to fight for his release. Then, her car broke down and he fixed it. Sex must have been the payment method. The next thing I know he is wanting to move in with her to "save money." As soon as he moves in, she brings the evidence to send her husband to prison for 12 years to the county attorney.
Since moving in with this woman, he has quit working and says that he is injured. He's fighting to get compensated for his on the job injuries. He speaks horribly about her and talks about all the scams she has going. Yet, he refuses to leave the relationship.
I'm curious how he can express the values that he claims to believe in, but live so far apart from them. All the troubles he faces come back down to his lack of relationship with God. he acknowledges the existence of God, but seems to run the other way instead of entering a relationship with him. What's even more troubling is that the church he attends looks the other way to his blatant sin. He is sllowed to serve as an usher and even gets to drive the bus to and from the church. I suppose it's a testament to why the church is in the trouble that it's in.
I continue to pray that he enters a relationship with Christ.
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RE: ZamDad's World - 4/23/2005 2:06:35 PM
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zamdad
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October 1, 2004
On Monday i arrested one of my clients. he tested positive for pot (fr the fifth time) and for methamphetamine. heh as been out of prison for three months and has not been able to find a job. While he is not finding a job, he is cruising the streets of the community, doing nothing productive. He has reported to several office visits with hickey's on his neck. Each time I sk who it's from, each time it's from a different girl. I have reason to believe the girls are high school girls. The guy is 21 years old and still looks like he's 16 or 17. He was stopped by the poice for a cracked windhsield one night after being seen leaving a known drug house. he alsways has money, but has no visible means of income. factors begin to add up quickly.
Yesterday his mother called. She wanted to know why I arrseted him for violating his condition that he not get a job. I told her that the violation was based on drug use, not failure to maintain employment. When she learned it was about drug use, she quietly ed, "Oh." She continued to speak about the fact that he had been looking for work and that he has not been able to find work, that the economy is bad, etc. I told her that I know of several employers in our area who are screaming for bodies to fill empty slots. Most of the work is not the most desireable, but it's work. She explained to me that she looked for a year before she was able to find her job. I know she is employed in a factory in a neighboring community. She did not want to talk about her sons drug use, only about his employment situation. She finally let it go after I told her I was not using the employment situation in the violation report.
It got me to thinking about the employment situation. Several things this woman said struck a chord. She spoke as if she and her son are entitled to jobs, that we owe them some decent way to make a living. I know that both she and her son dropped out of high school and have not gotten their GED's. They are not making any efforts to improve their own situation in life. They are both known substance abusers. We have employers in the area trying to find bodies to fill slots.
It seems to me that when their are employers hiring, this young man has no one to blame but himself. My experience and the experience of many I have worked with over the years has shown me that if someone wants a job bad enough, they make thmselves employable. This means cleaning up or getting educated. It means selling yourself to an employer convincing them that you are the person they want to fill that position. It means being willing to take the dirty jobs and do a good job until you earn your way to a better position.
But, so many are like this family. They drop out of school and sit around waiting for good fortune to fall in their laps. They blame everyone else for the consequences of their bad decisions. Because they get passed over for jobs by employers hiring people who have finished their education, this is somehow unfair? This concept is even addressed in scripture, if you don't work, you don't eat. As I sit and write this, I wish I had my Bible with me so I could begin loking up the principles covered in this topic. The only responsibility that I see those of us in the church now having is that we come along side people like this and teach them how to fish as opposed to letting the government or charitable organizations keep giving them fish.
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RE: ZamDad's World - 4/23/2005 2:07:36 PM
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zamdad
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I began this blog with a story about my life. I figured I would return to some of that today.
After I received my commission with the Army, I was required to attend a four month school at Ft. Benning, GA. I had to leave my wife and two kids (at that time) in Alaska while I went off to be trained to lead soldiers. I was 33 years old and in a company of second lieutenants who were primarily recent college grads, ten years younger than me. I found myself getting discouraged because of missing my family, being around young men I had little in common with, and a whole host of excuses to be miserable. It must have shown through to my instructors as I was called into the office one day and asked if I wanted to be there. The instructor let me know that he saw great potential as a troop leader, but that something was not there. I was missing a spark. He told me that I had the appearance of wanting to be somewhere else. I told him that I was not happy and that I was struggling with some issues and that I would sort them out and get back to him in a few days and let him know if I planned to continue or wanted to be sent home.
I have heard God speak directly to me a few times in life. He spoke to me after I left the commanders office that day. As I was returning to my room I stopped and sat down at the foot of an old oak tree. My mind was spinning with a thousand thoughts. I asked the question out loud, "What am I doing here?" While I did not here an audible voice, I heard Him say loud and clear inside my head, "Because you asked for this." Whoa! "You're right God, I did ask you for this. You have some things to teach me by being here." My attitude took a turn toward improvement on the spot. Several days passed when the instructor came and said he had seen a difference in me and wanted to know what my decision was. I told him I was remaining to finish the class.
As my walk with the Lord was strengthening through adversity, I promised God that when I returned home I was going to be the spiritual leader in my home. My wife was born and raised in a Christian home and had always been the one to lead us spiritually. I came off the plane ready to be the husband and father God wanted me to be.
Satan has a way of trying to wreck God's work. Satan had been at work in my home during my absence. My wife was bitter that I had joined the guard and that the guard had taken me away again, this time for four months. While I was away, she kept telling me that she was doing something special for me, but that I would have to wait until I got home to find out. It was December when I returned to Alaska. She was in the airport to greet me. Heavy coats are the normal attire in December in Fairbanks, AK. As I stepped of the plane, I was greeted with a kiss and then I was asked, “Do you notice anything?” Forgive me for digressing here, but I am just another ignorant male. I knew the question was loaded and not having seen her for four months, I was clueless as to what I was to be noticing. It was not until we got home and she took off her coat that I noticed that she had lost weight and been working out. She was in great shape! I expressed my observation and wanted to chase her back to the bedroom, but I got the, “It’s too late. You didn’t notice when you got off the plane.” If only I could have returned to Alaska in July.
Not only had she lost weight and been working out and had her anger at me building up. Her anger was being fueled by the support of her coworkers who painted me out to be another evil male who was always off playing war games or working. Communication between us broke down to nothing. I had also begun a new job as a probation officer. I was hired for this job after a telephonic interview while still at Ft. Benning. I was under the stress of trying to work at a failing marriage and begin a new, much more fast paced career.
We both agreed that the marriage was not working but both felt that divorce was not an option. We began attending marriage counseling at our church. A Family Life Conference came to Anchorage and our church paid for us to go. It was just what the doctor ordered. It got both of us focused back on God instead of ourselves and helped us both to understand that when two become one, it is in God. It helped me to see that my joining the guard and some of my other hobbies were akin to having an affair. Now, we both agree that even though that year was the hardest year of our marriage, we wouldn’t trade it for anything. It was a time of great growth.
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RE: ZamDad's World - 4/23/2005 2:08:08 PM
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zamdad
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I frequently get asked how it is I can work with sex offenders. Like most people, I used to respond regarding sex offenders that we needed to cut parts off and string them up and that anyone convicted of a sex crime should be banished from society forever. Even after I became a Christian, my response mirrored that of the world around me.
While working in a juvenile detention unit, I used to be the primary counselor for a young kid. The kids had been locked in detention for quite some time on an arson charge. He set fire to a dumpster that happened to be placed against the wall of a movie theatre. During his stay in detention, I had developed a pretty close relationship and saw that he was making a lot of progress toward being returned to the community. He was released and spent several moths in the community and was returned for a probation violation. I did not look at the file. I saw that it was a probation violation and left it at that. I resumed the counselor role with him and began working on goals with him.
Several weeks later, another coworker took the kid to court. Upon returning from court, the coworker asked if I knew what he was in for. I told him that it was a probation violation. The coworker told me the gory details of how this kids had molested three young kids he had been baby-sitting. I was used to hearing some pretty gruesome details about many different topics, but the details my coworker filled me in on pushed me over the top. I found myself wanting to take the kid and apply the kind of justice I had always spoken of. I suddenly found myself saying some terrible things about the kid and even more terrible things about what I wanted to see happen to the kid.
About three weeks went by and I had not spoken with the kid other than to give instructions about resident movements and such. I had not spoken to him as a counselor since finding out about his new crime. Then he told me that he wanted to talk. I realized that I was his primary counselor and that I was going to have to go into a room and sit with him and listen to him speak his mind about who knows what. I told him that I was busy and that I would get with him as soon as I could find a free moment. I went home after my shift and thought long and hard about it. It almost seemed like another one of those moments where God spoke to me and told me that as a professional, I had to put my personal feelings aside. I could agree with that. That was the professional thing to do. But then God spoke a little more and said that as a Christian I had to view this kid as created in the image of God. Yes, he had done some terrible things, but God was not giving up on him and neither could I.
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RE: ZamDad's World - 4/23/2005 2:08:49 PM
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zamdad
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Someone brought several copies of a book, The Man In The Mirror, to the treatment office today. They were sitting on the table when the guys came in for sex offender treatment. One of the guys asked about them and the psychologist said that they were left over from a book giveaway at a church.
On of the guys in the group picked up a book with interest as the psychologist was explaining about the books. He appeared to have an interest in reading something about men. He then heard the psychologist say that the books had come from a church. The look on his face said it all before the words came out of his mouth. He then said, “Oh, is this a Christian book?” As he asked the question with the look of disdain on his face, he threw the book back onto the pile of books and became obviously disinterested in further discussion. Several of the other guys were looking at the books and talking about taking copies for themselves.
It begs me to ask why some people are so hostile to Christianity? I used to be one of those people. I recall being asked to look at Jesus Christ as the answer to life’s issues and replying with open hostility that I was not going to allow myself to go there for answers. After nearly 20 years of faith in Christ, I find it hard to believe that I was once so hostile.
This is not the first time I have witnessed the hostility in this young man. There is another man in the group who is a Christian man and applies Biblical lessons to all of the assignments. As the other man presents assignments, the young man will “tune out.” He will stare out the window, stare at the ceiling, pretend he is reading ahead in his workbook, etc. Questions will be raised for group participation in the subject being discussed. The young man will be asked his thoughts and will offer up something only slightly related to the topic at hand. I asked him one time why he was so hostile to anything having to do with anything Christian. He told me he was not. He said that he had tried religion, but it did not work for him. He said that he tried going to church and reading his Bible, but that he did not see how any of it would make things better for him.
I think that he is so in love with his lifestyle, that he is not willing to accept Christ. He tells the therapist that he wants to change and do things differently and expresses a willingness to look anywhere but in Christian teaching. It’s amazing how nothing ever changes in his life. None of the other teachings are working for him either.
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RE: ZamDad's World - 4/23/2005 2:09:18 PM
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zamdad
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Appropriate Attire
This morning we were studying from James 4:11-12, learning about pride and judging others. One of the men in the group brought up the topic of hats in the sanctuary. He said that he felt that people wearing hats in the sanctuary showed disrespect to God. He indicated that he has been trying to teach some of the younger people in his congregation that it is not proper to wear a hat in the sanctuary. I can fully empathize with his perspective, yet have trouble with it at the same time.
The topic has come up in my own church. I am not a person who wears a hat very often. But I went with my kids to an AWANA event one night and happened to be wearing a hat. One of the older women from the church came to me and asked me to remove my hat and said that we do not wear hats in the sanctuary to show proper respect to God. I had a relationship with this woman and was able to respect her for approaching me and asking me to remove my hat.
The same woman approached another man that I know and asked him to remove his hat before entering the sanctuary for a worship service. The lady did not know this man. I know the man as his sons’ family are regular attenders at our church. This man always wears a hat. He may even keep it on when he’s sleeping for all I know. I have never seen him without a hat. When this man was asked to remove his hat by someone he did not know, he did so and sat through the worship service. But, afterward he said that he will never return to the church again. Several years of progress in getting this man to even come to church were shot down by simply asking him to remove his hat.
Where in scripture does it say that hats are not allowed in places of worship? Is this a cultural thing that has been added to church rules? Sometimes I think we do more harm than good when we try to adhere to cultural traditions.
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RE: ZamDad's World - 4/23/2005 2:10:04 PM
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zamdad
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I spoke to an old roommate tonight. We haven’t spoken for years. He called out of the blue. We worked together in the days of the Big Red S. He owned his house and rented me a room until he got married.
We had many good times together. We both lived the wild life. Funny thing is, I never saw the wild side of him as being the real him. I can’t say if he would say the same of me, although I would venture to guess that he would say the same.
Both he and I turned our lives over to Christ. It was never a topic that came up when we were roommates. I was really not aware of his conversion until well after I moved out. He had begun dating the woman who is now his wife just about the time I quit the Big Red S and joined the army. It was when I returned from basic training that I learned he was getting married and I was moving on to new things.
Upon my return from boot camp and during my move, he began to speak somewhat of his new found faith. I was still not open to the gospel and tuned out whatever message he tried to give me. Yet, as soon as I rededicated my life to Christ, our paths came into contact again. We both began ministering together through YoungLife.
As we spoke about old times tonight, it became apparent to both of us the toll that our wild days had taken on people we had been close with in our place of employment. It seems that the only ones who are not still struggling with the same old demons are those who turned their lives over to Christ.
Don was a supervisor to both of us at one time. He struggled with addiction for years. He became a Christian and has broken the power of addiction and seems to be living a life that glorifies God. A couple of other guys have turned their lives over to Christ and seem to be doing well. Like he and I, all have had their share of struggles with different issues, but in the overall big picture the ones who have surrendered to Christ have escaped the bondage.
Rob was one of the guys we spoke about. He had four kids before he was 22. He struggled with trying to quit drinking and smoking dope. He would do fine for a few months and then either celebrate his victory with booze or drown his sorrows with booze. The last time I saw him, he was sitting in jail on his fourth or fifth DWI charge. I just happened to be in the jail on business and spoke with him. His oldest child was now an adult and was repeating Rob’s story. His twin girls were in their own troubles and his youngest was earning his way to becoming a career criminal.
Mike was another coworker. The last either of us had seen of Mike was him driving a cab. Mike looked like a walking skeleton in skin. He had already lost his wife and kids to another man as she got tired of his promises to quit the dope. It looked like Mike lost hope when she left and there was no turning back.
Glenn rejected any attempts at help and no one knows where he is. There were many others we spoke about. We could see in some of them how God had tried to make himself evident in their lives, but their rejection of God’s efforts resulted in inescapable bondage.
I can only pray that these long lost friends have opened their hearts to the changing grace of Jesus Christ or that their hearts will be softened before he holds them accountable. It would be so nice to be reunited with all of these friends in heaven.
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RE: ZamDad's World - 4/23/2005 2:10:38 PM
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zamdad
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I’m going to court tomorrow for a sentencing hearing. The defendant entered a plea of guilty for failing to register as a sex offender. He did not cooperate with me in the process of the pre-sentence investigation. He fired his attorney and rehired his attorney. He wanted to go to trial and then he suddenly entered a plea with conditions. He wanted a furlough for an upcoming holiday to visit an ailing relative. Documents from his criminal history were indicative of failure to cooperate with the process in other locations. He has convictions for sex crimes in two separate states as well as felony burglaries in two more states. He reports that he has changed and that he is a minister. Yet, the person who signed his ordination certificate has gone out of his way to distance himself from this defendant. This defendant has been to drug treatment umpteen times and seems to return to use repeatedly. Oh, by the way, he happens to be black.
I write this as I received a call informing me that the judge in this matter has concerns about the disparity of how sentences are handled for this particular crime. My recommendation was that this guy go to prison for the time specified by the guidelines. My recommendation was based on the facts gathered about this guys criminal history and because of a demonstrable record of his failure to cooperate. Seeing as how he posed himself as a minister added to the concern I had in regard to public safety as he prays on vulnerable women and takes advantage of them emotionally, sexually, and financially.
Knowing the judge that is hearing this case, I am speculating that race may be an issue as well. The community is primarily white. The defendant has screamed racism. Suddenly I feel like the tables have been turned and I am the accused for having done my job of gathering the facts and making a recommendation. It’s funny how racial minorities whose ancestors may have suffered tremendously at the hands of others ancestors seem to claim privilege from responsibility for their actions by pointing the finger back at those who catch them in their corruption and calling them racist. My fear is that the focus of the hearing tomorrow will turn completely off the defendant and onto me and my report. The facts in the report will be completely ignored and the attention will be focused on whether or not I have some personal hatred for this defendant or for racial minorities.
I think it’s time to get past the racial stuff and take a look at character. This nation has become so blended that true racism has become virtually extinct. While there are pockets of racists that exist in some areas, as a whole, especially for those working in the system, it has died out. I think that many don’t want racial prejudice to go away as it works for them. It works to hide their own character flaws in the same way that this defendant appears to be making it work for him. As a rule, people don’t like to be accused of being racist. So, when the words fly at them from another, the tendency is to back off and let it go. After all, who needs the grief. If I go away, so does the problem.
As long as race is still given weight as a consideration, we as a society will never become a functional melting pot. We will never become a nation of great character as long as we allow the accused to fire accusations of racism back at those in the system. We must learn to adapt the army’s racial system: everybody’s green.
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RE: ZamDad's World - 4/23/2005 2:12:42 PM
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zamdad
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Wow, a lot has happened in the past couple of weeks. I have not had a chance to sit and write. The last post I spoke about going into court for a sentencing hearing in which more of the focus was going to be on me and my pre-sentence report that on the defendant. Well, the guy tried to focus on the report and say that it was full of lies, but the judge was not wiling to go there. The judge made an off the record comment to me and the attorney’s that the guy needed to be committed and that this comment was based on the report. But, the judge also felt that placing the guy on probation supervision and returning him to the community better served public safety. The judge then ordered me to call his family and verify his story about his proposed living situation. I called and got no response. I called again before the end of the business day and left my cell number and requested that they call during the evening. No response. I called again the following morning and happened to catch his sister where I learned that he was not allowed to live with her or she would lose her apartment. I then called the brother and learned that he could live with him. I called the court and let them know that I was on my way. I was late to court and got read the riot act by the judge for being late. I told the judge that I was trying to fulfill the order of the day before and that I had not gotten any responses. The judge was in the middle of ordering the guy to live with his sister. I piped in and informed the court that he was not allowed to live with his sister. The court then ordered him to live with his brother. As the guy was getting released from jail, he was instructed to call me on the following Friday. Two Friday’s have passed and I have not heard from him. Hmmm?
I also got to thinking about partiality as this was something addressed in my last post. I finished another PSI on an offender that I have been supervising for quite some time now. When I began working with this offender I already had somewhat of a relationship with him. He works for a local contractor and had done some work on our land. I was impressed by the quality of this guys work. He was convicted of a sex offense after engaging in sex with a 13 year old girl. When he first came on to supervision as a sex offender, he blamed the girl for everything. He felt that he was being unfairly prosecuted because the girl had come on to him. He was not initially accepting of my response to him that he was the adult. He was also not receptive to the condition that prohibited him from the use of alcohol. He said that he enjoyed a few beers once in a while and that his drinking was not the cause of his sex crime, therefore he should have the legal right to consume alcohol.
Shortly after being placed on supervision, he was involved in a car accident in which one of the passengers in his vehicle was seriously injured. When the cops arrived on the scene alcohol was detected on his breath and he was arrested for drunk driving. The new PSI was on the drunk driving offense and the injuries.
I struggled with partiality because as I have gotten to know this guy over the past year, I have seen a lot of progress in his attitude about things in life. He has taken full responsibility for his role in the sex offense and realizes that he was the adult and that he had the power to say no to this girl when she asked him to engage in sex acts. He has eliminated alcohol from his life since the accident nearly a year ago. He has begun doing some serious soul searching and has grown tremendously. The positive changes occurring in his life are visible to those who have known him best over the years. He is someone who was likeable to begin with, but has grown to be even more likeable since investing in himself. I struggled with recommending jail time or a hefty fine because I don’t want to see him stopped in his progress. I know he needs to have consequences. But, I have to ask myself if I have become too close? While we are not friends nor do we associate in the same circles, I have taken a liking to this guy as a person. I see him as someone willing to do what needs to be done to make positive change in his life. Whereas the previous guy I spoke of has multiple opportunities to make changes and has done nothing to take advantage of the opportunities.
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RE: ZamDad's World - 4/23/2005 2:13:26 PM
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zamdad
Posts: 1668
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I have not had the opportunity to post in quite some time. Life gets busy. Plus, some of the things I deal with and write about place me at greater risk of revealing my real identity. The anonymity of the internet can be a wonderful thing just as it can be dangerous with all the predators roaming around out there.
The past few weeks have had some challenges come to light. God has been teaching me some things through discipline. In my office, I am left relatively unsupervised which can be nice, but it allows for somewhat of a lone ranger syndrome to exist. Some of my work was brought in to question as my boss received a call to review a report. In turn, several other reports were reviewed and it was brought to my attention that my haste to get things done demonstrated a lack of attention to detail. The work that was brought to my attention is not my style at all; definitely not characteristic of me.
While it was good to have this matter called to my attention, it now makes me feel as though I am under the microscope. My supervisor sits in a office nearly 40 miles away where my daily tasks and duties cannot be monitored. My supervisor has to rely on the reports I produce and the word of my coworkers as to my activities. The most difficult part of all this is that it makes me feel chained to my desk instead of getting out into the community to monitor my caseload. There are so many reports to be written and other paperwork items required by court administration, DOC administration, etc., that it makes getting out from behind the desk a luxury.
But, I know God has plans that include this time of discipline. He is using this time to build me into what He wants me to be. I have to allow Him to mold me. Sometimes, being molded is uncomfortable. It’s counter to what I want. But what I want is not what’s important. What He wants is what really matters.
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RE: ZamDad's World - 4/23/2005 2:14:25 PM
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zamdad
Posts: 1668
Joined: 4/8/2005
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Tuesday, March 30, 2004
A Non Violent Drug Offender
Curtis is a non-violent drug offender. He’s an addict. He consumes meth, alcohol, marijuana, and prescription drugs. Essentially, he ingests anything that will give him a buzz. He steals from his family and friends as a means of obtaining money to get more drugs. His life is focused on the party. Although he was accused of threatening to cut someone with a knife, it was a hollow accusation from one user/dealer against another.
Curtis has been through drug rehab at least four times now. Yet, every time he finishes, he returns to using. Yesterday, in court, he told the judge that he has returned to using because he has come home and hooked up with his old friends again and that they are responsible for his relapse.
As a result of violating his probation, he is looking at execution of a prison sentence. Because of short-term offender legislation, he will never see the inside of a prison. The local county jail has no resources to offer him additional CD treatment or mental health assistance. He will serve the remaining three to four months of his sentence and then receive supervised release only to be returned to the community in which his favorite excuses can be found in every neighborhood: his friends.
Curtis will continue to pose a threat to public safety in that property that is not completely secured is at risk of ending up in his clutches only to be sold to some other person. He will continue to drain taxpayer funds for additional treatment after he gets caught using again. His chances for rehabilitation are poor because he has completed four in patient programs (at tax payer expense) and has returned to chemical use after each completion.
Will a prison sentence achieve these goals? Not likely. But, at the time of sentencing he was led to believe that failure to comply with court orders would result in a commitment to the Commissioner of Corrections. He is now learning that the court does not mean what it says.
With our current system of corrections, the bottom line seems to be dollars, not public safety. As a corrections professional it makes no sense to threaten someone with prison and then wind up executing time in a county jail with no resources. As a taxpayer, while fewer of my tax dollars may be going into a burgeoning corrections budget, I am spending more money in local taxes to cover the cost of prosecution of new crimes, housing offenders in local jails repeatedly, paying for the cost of legal defense for the accused, covering the cost of police officers who are dealing with the same offenders over and over, paying higher insurance premiums as a result of more claims filed because of criminal damage, paying for a sense of security through alarms or personal protection services, etc.
As a taxpaying citizen, I would rather place my money into locking up someone like Curtis for a longer period of time than to continually fund his habit and his efforts at rehab.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
After writing the previous piece, Curtis was sent to treatment again and then to a halfway house. He called a couple of months ago to tell me how good he was doing. I encouraged him to keep in touch and let me know how he was doing in his recovery.
Last week I learned from the PO that he was transferred to that he was arrested for felony DWI. Now he will go to prison and execute the remaining time on his drug file and, perhaps, serve additional time on the new DWI. But look at the tax payer money that has been pumped into him.
He’s considered a non violent offender because he is not the type of person to go out and intentionally assault another human being. Yet, when he is done serving his time, he will return to use and will injure someone unintentionally by driving or through some other incident that will arise out of his use. He will also return to stealing to support his habit. Until Curtis finds Jesus Christ, he will continue to serve life on the installment plan and harm many more in his wake.
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RE: ZamDad's World - 4/23/2005 2:15:09 PM
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zamdad
Posts: 1668
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Saturday, November 13, 2004
As I sit to write, like is so often the case, my mind goes numb. I just got done washing the dishes and had all these thoughts I wanted to capture pertaining to men and the battles we all face. But yet, I sit before the keyboard and go blank.
Much of what I was thinking was about how God has given me victory over some things, but that I have resisted his promptings in other things. I once claimed to a group of men that he had given me victory over pornography. But, a few weeks later a brother from church came to me with some issues he was dealing with and wanted me to look up a website and verify his claim. I had the best of intentions when I looked up the site, but I soon found myself pulled back into a darkened world of wanting to view other women completely exposed.
He gave me victory over marijuana. The desire to use is completely gone. I know it would be easy enough to backslide and fall back into use, but I know what the earthly consequences would be. It’s something I don’t desire to return to. While He had given me victory over alcohol, I have allowed myself to be taken back into alcohol’s grip. It began with just a little between Janet and I. We decided that alcohol in extreme moderation would be appropriate. Extreme moderation became more frequent and soon I found myself thinking about the events of the evening before putting the kids to bed so that I could finish off the night with a nightcap. While there is no booze in the house as I write, it’s a battle that still rages within.
My private thought life is something that I have been examining for quite some time. Working with sex offenders caused me to begin examining my secret thoughts with more scrutiny. It became apparent as we were asking the offenders to do this and chart it. I caught myself really struggling yesterday. While getting a haircut, one of the hairdressers arrived and began talking with her co-workers. She is attractive and in previous appointments I have been witness to her talking in some rather provocative ways. I found myself beginning to mentally undress her. I caught the thought and asked God to take it from me. I focused on the conversation with the woman who was cutting my hair. But as I drove to work, the image of her kept returning to my mind. Satan was working hard on me. I kept thinking that there was nothing about this woman that I wanted. I knew that the image had nothing to do with anything but lust and if it were to ever become reality, I would want nothing more to do with her. I finally had to speak out loud to God, “In the name of Jesus Christ, take this thought from me.”
Breakpoint came on the radio. I heard Mark Early say, “Four of every five child and teen arrestees are involved with drugs. Many are under the influence of alcohol or drugs when committing their crimes, which often involve drugs and alcohol.” My mind shifted back to business.
At the end of the day, some more of what Mark Early had spoken of was reaffirmed to me. We are in need of new means of working with troubled adolescents. But the real work begins in the family. I had two more things drive this point home to me yesterday. One of my co-workers was interviewing a young lady who was recently arrested for possession of methamphetamine. She was high on meth when she was arrested and she is several months pregnant. As the woman was in being interviewed, her mother chose to wait in the reception area. The mother dozed off several times, but appeared to be patiently waiting. After an hour and a half, the young woman appeared from the interview. I was walking out through reception at the time and heard the mother begin to grumble about how long the interview had taken and that she could not believe that it would take that long and how the system is screwed up and they are going to mess her little girl up. I continued to walk fighting the urge to turn to the mother and say something to the effect, “You daughter is in real trouble. And your grandchild as at great risk of being born severely damaged. You chose to wait in the lobby, why are you grumbling about having to wait when you did not have to be here, but chose to remain here?” It seems that the mother was more concerned about her self than her daughter.
Later in the day I had the opportunity to interview another young man, 18 years old. He crashed a car into a parked car and walked away from the scene because he did not have a drivers license. Seems like an accident followed by a bad decision. But as I got to interviewing the kid, he spoke about his home life growing up. His parents are divorced. Both own their own businesses and live very busy lives. He is the youngest of the kids from the marriage between the parents. But he spoke about being bounced around from one house to the other and always feeling lonely. He would do things to get the attention of his parents. But, instead of spending time with him as he wanted from them, they took him to specialists who prescribed medications for his attention deficit disorder. Then, when one parent could not handle him any more, he would go live with the other parent. Here he is, an 18 year old trying to find himself in the world and the only identity he seems to have at this point is that he has difficulty fitting in. That when people get tired of him, they will move him on. While he is not doing drugs at the present time (so he says), it’s only a matter of time before he turns to them again in an effort to get the attention of his parents so that they will show him love. What he is likely to get is the attention of law enforcement and the court system and be referred again to more doctors who will, in turn, give him more medications to help manage his behavior. Is it any wonder they call it attention deficit?
I seem to have captured my thoughts now. And, they continue to roll. But, I better get off the computer now and attend to my own kids.
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RE: ZamDad's World - 4/23/2005 2:15:55 PM
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zamdad
Posts: 1668
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Monday, November 24, 2003
Spongebobbers
My kids and I love the cartoon Spongebob Squarepants. I have to wonder, where did they come up with the name Spongebob? I realize that his character is a sponge living at the bottom of the sea, in Bikini Bottom.
If we didn’t identify the term Spongebob with the cartoon character, I might think it was slang for a person who mooches or depends on others to support their existence. In essence, a Spongebob is a parasite. An organism that attaches to a host and bleeds it dry looking for another source to give it life.
Let me explain. An adult who is totally dependent on others for their existence is often referred to as a sponge. These same people tend to bob around from one location to another, wherever the tide happens to take them. In a sense, they are like sponges who continually soak up the resources around them, but drift along the current of whatever is popular at that moment. Kind of like a bobber that has been loosed from the fishing line.
I can think of several people who fit the definition of a Spongebob. Janie is a woman who refuses to find employment and works ever so hard at trying to gain disability income. She can’t live in one location for too long a period before whomever she is staying with grows weary of her and she finds another host. David is another one. His host is his mother in that she continues to pay his rent, his gas and insurance while he makes excuses about not being able to find work. He has a stash of pornographic magazines and somehow finds the money for alcohol nearly every night. His mom’s boyfriend has even called him a sponge. Johnnie depends on machines to keep him alive. He drifts from one moment to the next allowing the current to take him whichever direction the winds blow. He contributes nothing and soaks up everything around him
How do we effectively minister to Spongebob’s ? How do we teach them to fish when all they have ever known is to take a fish from another?
I suppose I am privy to this because I see it in my daily grind on the job. Those who work in other professions usually don’t have reason to see it. Their energies are focused elsewhere. As the church, we need to be aware of Spongebobbers. We are a part of their food chain. We are commanded to love our neighbors and to care for those who are less fortunate. Yet, we are guilty of contributing to the growth of the Spongebob population. We hear the stories and the pleas for help and, like good Christians, we answer the call. After all, providing money or clothing, or other material needs come rather easily. It’s a small sacrifice and we know that God approves of our sacrifices.
We also do a good job of complaining about the Spongebobbers. We gripe at how our tax dollars are being wasted on those who refuse to work or thrive on their laziness. We know how to make condemning statements about those who live lifestyles that are different from our own because we truly don’t understand.
Jesus told us that the greatest commandment is to love the Lord with all your heart, soul and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. It’s a failure to live by this commandment that allows the proliferation of Spongebobbers. We love our neighbors, but we pick and choose which neighbors we are willing to love. Unfortunately, we don’t love many of our neighbors enough to say no to things that are destructive. How do we equip Christians to teach a sponge to live outside the water?
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RE: ZamDad's World - 4/23/2005 2:16:31 PM
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zamdad
Posts: 1668
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline
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November 28, 2002
When I first met EJ, he was sitting in the County Jail for possession of controlled substances. He had been charged with two separate incidents of possession of methamphetamine. The court assigned me to write a pre-sentence investigation and make a recommendation for sentencing. I received a criminal history printout from the sheriff’s office and began to unravel as I walked toward my office. I was astonished. There was a 30 foot trail of paper by the time I got to the last sheet of the yet unseperated printer paper. EJ was 51 years old and had a criminal history that spanned well over 30 years. My first impression was that anyone with a history like this deserves to execute their sentence as rehabilitation is not something to be expected anymore.
As I began writing my report I was astonished that the county attorney had agreed to allow EJ to serve a small amount of jail time and that he would be placed on supervised probation. In fact, I found myself mortified. How could the county attorney agree to such a thing when he has full knowledge of EJ’s past?
As part of the PSI I had to go into the jail and meet with EJ. I entered the jail with my mind already made up that EJ was going to have to go to prison for whatever time the guidelines recommended. I took EJ’s thick probation file and a new PSI interview questionnaire and began asking questions about his past, about his most recent arrests, and what plans he had for the future. Although I had pre-determined that EJ was going to have to go to prison, I found myself liking him as a person. He was warm and funny. He had a very pleasant personality and was an excellent conversationalist. I cautioned myself not to get conned by this professional con artist.
The Chaplain and a group of fellow Christian brothers meet at a local restaurant at the same time each morning. As often as I possibly can, I try to make it to the restaurant and fellowship with these fellow believers. The chaplain mentioned that he had been disciplining EJ and that EJ had been showing a lot of growth. What I heard from the chaplain was encouraging and caused me to go and speak to EJ further.
EJ explained to me that he had met Christ and that despite all the years of destructive behavior under his belt, he was a new man and was planning to get out of jail and prove to his Lord, himself, and everyone else, that he was a new creation in Christ. Considering EJ was still sitting in jail and wearing and orange suit, I was almost certain that I was seeing another jail house conversion. The magical bricks used to make correctional facilities were imparting the lessons they are designed to convey. When men or women are sitting in jail, the bricks in those cells contain a wealth of lesson learned from pervious inmates. The walls begin to speak to the current occupants and tell them that the next time they get released things are going to be different. The bricks teach about the mistakes made that led to their being inside that lonely cell. They instruct on what changes need to occur to avoid coming back to that isolated place. While the jailhouse bricks have a brilliant way of imparting life’s lessons, the bricks in the exit sally port have a strange power that sucks the wisdom gained from the experience out of the departing inmates heart. It is commonly thought that these lessons are stored in the brain. Perhaps they are stored in the brain and are vacuumed out of the brain. I suppose the moral is that the lessons imparted to the brain are never able to kill the desire of the heart.
But EJ began to convince me that he had changed his heart. That his heart was now focused on Jesus and that all of his jail house lessons were not going be sucked from his skull. He shared a number of things about the changes he had made and the plans he had made to assure he would not return to the ways he was so comfortable with.
Despite my preconceived notions that EJ was to go to prison, I found myself recommending that the terms of the plea agreement be followed. I was now willing to give EJ a chance to prove to God, himself, and everyone who was expecting him to fail that he could live for Christ. I promised EJ, though, that if he even thought about taking a drink he may as well turn himself in. I wanted him to be assured that he had no room for relapse, that one sip could send him to prison. We also spoke about what it meant to commit your life to Christ and the struggles that he could expect. We spoke about how important it was for him to connect with a group of believers and that he continue to stay connected and be held accountable.
EJ was released from the County Jail and appeared to be on the high road. He made frequent telephone contact with me. He told me daily of the miracles God was doing in his life. He told me of a trip he had taken and as he was hitchhiking home, he was picked up by a young woman who was a pastor’s daughter. She spoke of Jesus to him and he shared his testimony with her. He told me regularly of how God was bringing believers into his life and how blessed he felt each time he met another Christian.
EJ stopped at the office one day and wanted to know if I could get him one of the orange suits from the jail. I sent him to the sheriff’s office where he made his request. He was given an orange suit, but he did not tell me what his purpose was. He invited me to come to a local lake for his baptism. I was going to be attending a Promise Keepers event, so I was not able to attend. I later learned that EJ had obtained the orange suit for his baptism. He had the words, “Out With The Old,” affixed to the orange shirt. As he was dipped under the water, he took off the orange shirt and came up with a white shirt which read, “In With The New.”
EJ had been out of jail for a little over two months when his calls ceased. I know that when a client quits calling me, something is wrong. I make a monthly trip to Ej's town to see clients who live there. This avoids them having to travel to the city and allows me to make some community contacts in the area. EJ failed to show for an appointment. I learned the following month he had shown just after I departed. However, he failed to call and let me know he had tried to report. I asked around if EJ had been seen recently. No one had seen him. I drove over to the gas station where EJ had been employed. The owner said he had not seen EJ in a couple of weeks. He added that he knew EJ had fallen off the wagon. I called EJ’s house and spoke to his niece. She reported she had moved to his house a few weeks earlier and that EJ was not home. First she indicated he had gone into the woods, then she stated that he had gone to another town to find employment. I asked if he had been staying sober. She responded, “technically no.”
Before leaving, I asked one of the local police officers to accompany me to EJ’s house. Officer Nick was new to the local Police Department and was not aware of EJ or his history. Officer Nick and I got to EJ’s house and found Mary, EJ’s niece, home alone. I asked Mary if EJ had any needles in the house. She indicated that he did have some and took me to EJ’s room and showed me where they were. She also showed me where he had stashed an empty bottle of Black Velvet Whiskey. Officer Nick and I searched EJ’s bedroom for any more drugs or drug paraphernalia.
The search of EJ’s room was a spiritual lesson for me. While I was fully aware that EJ had not maintained his sobriety, it was the discovery of his pornography collection that struck me. EJ had professed that he had given himself completely over to Christ. It was the porn collection that caused me to understand that he had not given all of himself over to Christ. He had at least one secret compartment in his life that he was not willing to hand over to God.
When God calls us to himself, he calls us to obedience. Sometimes, as humans, obedience is a hard pill to swallow. We come to God wanting to give our all, but we cling to things that we really have no desire to give up. Pornography is one of those things that, I think, a large number of men struggle with. It’s as if we come to God saying, “Here I am Lord, you can have all of me except this one little secret corner of my life that no one else knows about.” This type of thinking deceives God and deceives ourselves. We must relinquish all our hearts desires to Him. We cannot hide any of our hearts desires from Him for He knows our hearts better than we know ourselves. The mind is darkened and made futile by the desires of the heart.
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RE: ZamDad's World - 4/23/2005 2:17:36 PM
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zamdad
Posts: 1668
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline
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I came across this in an old file. I wrote it in response to an article in the Fairbanks Daily News MIner, but never sent it in.
January 9, 1999
Today's editorial section of the Fairbanks Daily News Miner contained articles by Jacob Hornberger and Diana Griego Erwin. Both articles focused on the topic of the drug epidemic. Mr. Hornberger asking the question, Isn't It Time To End The War On Drugs? And Ms. Griego Erwin stating We Need To Simplify Access To Drug Treatment. Both articles raise points worth considering, but also some to take issue with.
Mr. Hornberger writes that the war on drugs has been a failure and that Americans need to be asking some fundamental questions: How long is all of this going to continue? And, How bad do things have to get before people finally recognize the war on drugs has failed. Additionally, how many infringements on individual liberty and privacy must still be tolerated?
I must add the following question: Why has the war on drugs been a failure? I have to admit that I feel the same way Mr. Hornberger and many other Americans feel about the war on drugs and the infringements on our liberties as a result of the drug war. However, as someone who is in the trenches waging the battle against drug abuse, I see greater devastation brought about by those who are using drugs thereby creating a cancer that has spread throughout our society. I am a probation officer who supervises a caseload of felons who have been ordered by the courts to serve time for crimes committed and then be supervised in the community. Roughly 90% of the individuals I supervise have been convicted of a crime as a result of their drug use. Yes, some of them were convicted of selling drugs, but the majority committed crimes for any number of reasons, but alcohol, cocaine, and marijuana are always either a factor in the crime or a par | | |
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