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Ever curious about ex-sweeties? - 11/2/2009 9:49:20 AM
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mrtigger
Posts: 273
Joined: 4/12/2005
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My question is inspired by a he says thread in which a woman was contacted by an ex boyfriend "to catch up" with her after 11 years of no contact. The consensus of us guys seemed to be that the ex was probably interested in more than just "catching up" but I was curious about thoughts in general on that topic.
So, my question is:
Are you ever just curious about how your ex sweeties lives are going? Wonder things like who they wound up marrying, did they have kids, and just generally how their life turned out?
I know I have some curiousity like that about the women I dated even though my dating era was 30+ years ago. Mind you I do not have any desire to resume a relationship with any of them but it would be nice to know how their lives turned out. I don't know why it would be nice to know but I am sometimes curious. I do hope they all found good hubbies and have happy and fulfilled lives.
Even so, I think it is a bad idea for me to ever contact any of them. Even though I think it likely would be "safe" for me to do so, I never have and never will try to get back in touch with them.. There isn't any real good reason to do that and there is some risk of rekindling something. Plus it would probably weird them out if they ever heard from me after so long. My motives would be in question even with innocent intent. So I don't go there.
I did however get contacted by an ex girlfriend (from 9th grade!) some years ago. I had signed up on school reunion site and a couple of weeks later she saw it and contacted me.
My initial reaction to her was a bit suspcious but I responded and we sent a few messages back and forth about our lives, kids, etc. Nothing improper was exchanged and I was able to give her an apology for the way I ended our relationship (I didn't properly end it). That had always bothered me and I always thought I owed her an apology but had no way to deliver it. It was nice to be able to apologize and get that little bit of guilt gone.
I would never have contacted her myself but it was actually nice to hear from her. And it occurs to me that to be motivated to contact me she must have felt some of the same curiosity about her ex that I feel about mine. And I wonder how commonplace that curiousity is.
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RE: Ever curious about ex-sweeties? - 11/2/2009 10:15:55 AM
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KaptZ
Posts: 155
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From: The swamps of Jersey
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I have several exgirlfriends that for curiosity sake I would enjoy knowing how they're doing.
My last girlfriend before I met my wife still lives nearby and we run into her and her husband occasionally and laugh about our kids and life in general.
I wouldn't go out of my way looking for ex's though. That's a little creepy.
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RE: Ever curious about ex-sweeties? - 11/2/2009 11:02:11 AM
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garsyt
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Sure I'm curious - about a couple of ex's, but not to the point of going and looking for them.
I do know that one of them still lives in the same town we grew up in, got married and has a bunch of kids - but only because his boys are in the same sports my nephews are in.
As for the others - I do occasionally wonder what ever became of them, but I'm not going out of my way to find out.
Blessings,
Garsy
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RE: Ever curious about ex-sweeties? - 11/2/2009 2:39:44 PM
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allisonbrett
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There are a couple of guys that I dated from years gone by that I'd love to find out what happened to. No ulterior motives as much as contacting someone old friends. I'm curious to what happened to them. I pray that they each found the love of their lives as well.
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A work in progress so please be patient, God is still working on me. Ouch, it sure is painful!
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RE: Ever curious about ex-sweeties? - 11/2/2009 4:19:28 PM
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rockominal
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My answer is yes. I'll even take that farther into the realm of the current sweetie one may have, in that I think even they are curious as to what is going on with your ex.
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I might tell you the truth, or something pretty close to it. Jesus says, "I Am the Truth."
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RE: Ever curious about ex-sweeties? - 11/2/2009 5:56:57 PM
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RichLP
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I believe that we tend to wonder the most about those whom we liked/loved first or most passionately. Even if it ended badly, if somebody we were very intimate with and have extremely strong feelings for moves on, it's natural to wonder on occasion whatever happened to that person.
Ex 1 is married - she got married last year.
Ex 2 is married - she got married a little over 1 year after our breakup. That's about 4 1/2 years ago, so she's probably a mommy now.
Ex 3 went back to her home country. I know because she was very close to somebody I know.
A few other ex's are married as well; these are women from an earlier stage of my life. Of these, one is for sure a mommy... I know because we found each other online by accident and are friends again. I had actually met her and her then boyfriend (now husband) for lunch with other friends. He'd been uncomfortable at first, but it'd been so long ago and it was clear it was all over - he took a liking to me.
In the end... even if we keep mementos, photographs, letters, gifts (the wisdom of which I sometimes question)... there is absolutely nothing left after a relationship ends. After the wounds heal, all we have left is... the memories.
< Message edited by RichLP -- 11/2/2009 6:04:14 PM >
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RE: Ever curious about ex-sweeties? - 11/2/2009 7:56:13 PM
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Szaftoo
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Looks like I am in the minority but I am not at all curious about anyone I dated before I got married. I obviously wish them well but will never know.
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Ever curious about ex-sweeties? - 11/2/2009 7:59:11 PM
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PinkCarnations
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I can't really say that I am.
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RE: Ever curious about ex-sweeties? - 11/2/2009 8:12:16 PM
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ta_mosquito
Posts: 10995
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OK, I'll admit that I've looked up one of my former high school crushes online (one that "could have been" but never was), even up to a few months ago. However, I have renounced that and won't be doing it anymore, Lord willing.
Former boyfriends? I don't look them up. I know one of them that married a friend of mine turned out to have led a false life, and they're now divorced. The others I don't know about, and don't care to know.
If they contacted me on Facebook or something, I'd be friendly, but distant, as I am with most of my male friends/acquaintances.
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(Avatar: Turkeys are all saying "Moo")
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RE: Ever curious about ex-sweeties? - 11/2/2009 9:40:07 PM
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creationtalk
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Well, yes, there was one guy in the past that I wanted to keep up with...
but it was to make sure that he didn't know where to find me. I moved without leaving a forwarding address and went to some pretty extreme means (I owed his father money) to make sure I wasn't easy to track down...a friend of mine who had also been a friend of his kept in touch with him for several years so that he could tell me if the guy was talking about trying to track me down.
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RE: Ever curious about ex-sweeties? - 11/3/2009 8:21:51 AM
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Belle_Texas
Posts: 222
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From: Texas!! Where else???
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Its interesting that this question has come up...
I was recently contacted by an old boyfriend through Facebook after close to 37 yrs of no contact. We were just young teenagers when we knew each other but it brought back many old feelings.
It looks like he is doing well, but now I catch myself playing the "what if" game and that's a game no one can win.
So..even though I was glad to hear from him and get caught up I almost wish that he had not found me.
< Message edited by Belle_Texas -- 11/3/2009 8:28:29 AM >
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season you shall reap if you don't faint.
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RE: Ever curious about ex-sweeties? - 11/3/2009 1:11:27 PM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1451
Joined: 3/13/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Belle_Texas
Its interesting that this question has come up...
I was recently contacted by an old boyfriend through Facebook after close to 37 yrs of no contact. We were just young teenagers when we knew each other but it brought back many old feelings.
It looks like he is doing well, but now I catch myself playing the "what if" game and that's a game no one can win.
So..even though I was glad to hear from him and get caught up I almost wish that he had not found me.
Yes Belle that is a danger
I have a friend whose husband went onto that site called 'friends revisited' (do you have that there?)He ended up being in contact with a girl he knew from school who he had wanted to go out with but never did. Well anyway after over 30 years of marriage he left his wife for this other lady. A cautionary tale indeed and it has happened many times apparently, so be careful anyone who is thinking of contacting old flames.
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RE: Ever curious about ex-sweeties? - 11/3/2009 4:39:35 PM
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3tulips
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From: sandy shore
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Curious? Yes. But I have never done anything about it.
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"The Lord is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts; so I am helped, and my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him." Psalm 28:7
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RE: Ever curious about ex-sweeties? - 11/3/2009 6:02:09 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 544
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Curious about guys I liked or have dated - lol, I see them when
I go home to the USA and I try not to laugh when I encounter them...
it's weird to see that those young "players" have turned into older "players" still using the same silly lines!
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RE: Ever curious about ex-sweeties? - 11/4/2009 3:00:53 PM
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teacher1982
Posts: 190
Joined: 10/11/2009
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I have been kinda curious about some of the men that I dated before I got married. But I have thought of everyone of them that I could remember and there isn't a single one that I would date again - which would be my motivation at this time - so no need to contact them. They might think I was interested in dating them again even if I wasn't.
(I kissed a lot of frogs before I found my Prince, who was stolen by one of the mean ugly sisters!)
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RE: Ever curious about ex-sweeties? - 11/4/2009 7:30:36 PM
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42servehymn
Posts: 424
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From: Littleton, Colorado
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When I was 16 I went with a friends family on a trip to Mexico. My girlfriend and her sister and I went out on group dates with three guys. I just recently reconnected with one of them and we have been regularly e-mailing each other. He is married and has a daughter that is the same age as my youngest son. My son and his daughter e-mail one another and my son is planning to take a trip down there. He has invited my husband and I to come to Mexico for a visit. We are planning to do that next year in November. This is someone that I thought I would surely never hear from again and we are enjoying reconnecting.
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RE: Ever curious about ex-sweeties? - 11/5/2009 2:05:44 PM
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hjn
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Joined: 7/20/2009
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I am curious at times.
1 of my ex's contacts me every now and then (once a year or so) to find out how things are going, he's in a relationship now and living in Europe
2 years ago I took up a job opportunity and it so happened that I ended up working at the same company as 1 of my other ex's for a year, saw him about 2 years before that too, but it was most interesting to see how he's still playing the same games. was all too happy that we weren't together anymore
1 other ex - don't care how he's doing, caused too much trouble, had to change my numbers and all that, he was still trying to "get back together" with me 2 years after we ended things
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