|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 10/30/2009 7:14:57 PM
|
|
|
herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1449
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Kat_D
I do understand that you are sick and have to protect your health, Agenias. That is a priority for sure.
I think I was more addressing the quick reaction of some to say people are just nuts, toxic, etc and that we should just cast them off.
I pray God's healing for you and do hope He will work to change your in-laws and make you all the family he desires you to be. He surely is able.
Blessings!
14 "For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15 from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, 16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height-- 19 to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. 20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us" Eph. 3
Edited to make sense! 
Many of us who have said this have been through terrible situations with parents or in laws and certainly dont say anything as a knee jerk reaction.
I just think that if a parent sets out to destroy your family, your health or your marriage they have to be dealt with.It is NOT godly to allow anyone to do this. If a parents interference control or manipulation is a constant source of terrible unhappiness for everyone else then it is godly to set rules and boundaries and if they arent kept to then to have little contact.
Also I disagree that a letter is wrong. I think it is a very good idea in the circumstances where a parent just wont listen and at least in a letter everything can be set out and no one can say they didnt know what was happening.
They have tried to talk together before but with a person who is that way, it is almost impossible to reason with them (been there tried to do that). It really isnt loving to allow any person to act this way, neither to them nor to others.Is it loving to our childen to allow them to behave like spoilt brats and constantly behave bady and get their own way all the time??That would be VERY unloving indeed.
Everyone needs boundaries, we all do, and we have to learn to keep to them.
< Message edited by herestoresmysoul -- 10/30/2009 7:53:12 PM >
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 10/30/2009 7:44:12 PM
|
|
|
herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1449
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline
|
Deermousie
Brilliant posts. Another relevant verse may be the one about not walking in the counsel of the ungodly or sitting in the way of sinners. Why is it that just becuase a person happens to be a family member that we have to allow them to ruin everyone elses lives?We wouldnt allow our kids to act that way, and at their ages they should know better.The FIL is clearly wanting to keep her placated by taking all the blame on himself. Poor man.
I have forgiven my mother in law. I pray for her. I send her small gifts and cards for birthdays and Christmas, but God has clearly told us both that we are to stay away.In fact. He has actually told us both seperately that there are spiritual issues at work in her that are causing much of her behaviour, but unless she is able to see this and repents then we can do nothing except leave her in Gods hands. She thinks she is a super spiritual Christian. She is VERY deceived.
Thinking of the word toxic made me think of when we were with her in Australia 3 years ago. Everytime we saw her I felt this suffocating atmosphere around her. I have never felt anything like it before, but it was SO real. It was as if you couldnt breathe and wanted to get away.Once she started to act so bady I began to realise that something was VERY wrong. We couldnt wait to get back home believe me.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 10/30/2009 11:35:40 PM
|
|
|
deermousie
Posts: 2216
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: herestoresmysoul
Another relevant verse may be the one about not walking in the counsel of the ungodly or sitting in the way of sinners. Why is it that just becuase a person happens to be a family member that we have to allow them to ruin everyone elses lives?We wouldnt allow our kids to act that way, and at their ages they should know better.
Thanks for your kind words, Herestoresmysoul!
So many of us are tied to our families really bad behavior because we were trained to it in childhood and we don't want to mess with God about honoring our parents. Well, and they are family, and are supposed to be there for us when no one else is. Unfortunately, many families don't live up to expectations and needs.
Scripture also tells us to protect the innocent. Sometimes that's our kids or our mates, and sometimes that's us. My computer is refusing to pull up www.biblegateway.com so maybe someone else can get chapter and verse on that. Thanks.
Standing up to my mother when I knew she would kick me out of the family was so hard, but she'd put me in a position that I had to protect my child or protect myself. I thought it was better to get hurt than to let my kid get hurt, what any parent should choose.
I mentioned this thread to DH and his response was an immediate, "Set the standards for what reasonable behavior the in-laws have to have or they don't get to see the grandkids or you. Their choice." That's it in a nutshell.
Herestoresmysoul, it's funny you made the comment about the suffocating atmosphere around your MIL - the guy in my church who was excommunicated for years-long drunkenness and recommunicated (he's been sober now three years I think) mentioned that he once felt a lifting of a years-long oppression, and got a call later that day that his abusive father had died that morning. Spiritual connection? I wouldn't be surprised. It's no excuse for his drunkenness, but certainly could have been a factor. Life is a spiritual battle.
< Message edited by deermousie -- 10/30/2009 11:45:37 PM >
_____________________________
"Through Gates of Splendor" by Elizabeth Elliot
"Federal Husband" by Doug Wilson
www.biblegateway.com for online concordance (I use it daily)
"Passion and Purity" by Elizabeth Elliot
And I think chickens are really funny
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 10/31/2009 5:27:24 AM
|
|
|
herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1449
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline
|
Deermousie
In connection with what you said, both my husband and I have had prayer to be cut off from generational sins and also that ungodly soul ties will be cut from his mum to him and any others that may need cutting. So spiritually he is free from her now. Its just sad that she has never let either he nor his brother go. When his brother got married, she rang him uo 3 days later in tears saying how much she missed him etc. Now THAT is NOT normal.My husband was still at home at that time as well.
My dh is just grateful that he and his first wife came to England 22 years ago.He has only been back once and that was when she tried to destroy our marriage. Never again.
My sister in law who is married to her other son, is waiting for her to die so she can have her husband back. I feel so sad for my sister in law. My MIL doesnt like any women in the family. She greatly favours her grandsons over her one granddaughter. She didnt want daughters, only sons, and hasnt got on with any of her three daughters in law.
I think it is becuase she can control the men but the women tend to stay away and wont put up with her.
By the way ocncerning boundaries, I know that people like her CAN keep to them. During one particularly bad time, my sister in law said to her that if she carried on the way she was. she would take her son away frm her and they would move away. Strange that she imporved from that day on(for a while anyway), so I would say to the OP, your in laws CAN change their behaviour if they choose to. The choice is theirs.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 10/31/2009 7:39:46 AM
|
|
|
SurpassingPeace
Posts: 803
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline
|
Kat_D, I assure you that our decision was not a knee jerk reaction. We tried for 3 years to get along and be civil. It was horrible. Boundaries were necessary for our marriage to stay intact. Is it unbiblical to cut off such toxic people? Well, I agree with Deermousie's verses. As usual she is spot on. We refused to sacrifice our marriage and risk the healthy of our children in order to cowtow to an emotional poisonous, manipulative woman who flat out told us it would be her way or the highay. She was surprised we chose the highway.
As far as righting a letter, it is a better idea to sit down and talk but it doesn't always happen. If you tried to talk to my mil calmly, she was literally start wailing and crying that her children were hateful, ungrateful brutes that would not acknowledge she had sacrficed her life for them. Then she would run off and lock herself in her bedroom. How are you supposed to have a rational conversation? She told us that she never wanted to hear if we were upset, bothered, etc. with anything she did. We should pretend everything was just fine at all times. That is what "good" families did.
I can't imagine anyone would just flippantly decide to cut off all contact. It was a hard, painful decision that was accompanied by a great deal of prayer and seeking of godly (church leaders and other strong Christians) counsel.
Praise God, two years later, she has come around. We are in the process of rebuilding our relationship. We are taking it slowly and cautionsly. And God did not need our help at all.
Karen
_____________________________
Karen
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 10/31/2009 11:00:44 AM
|
|
|
herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1449
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline
|
Surpassing peace, that is a great story of how God can restore things after all that you have been through.
I am not sure that this will happen in our case, as MIL is 79 and quite weak. I have left the door open for her and have made it clear that if she repents and admits to what she has done the door is always open, but after 3 years she hasnt done that. On the rare occasions that she does ring (about every 3-4 months or so) she acts as if nothing ever happened. Every thing is swept under the carpet as usual, which is the pattern with her.
Before we went there, I wrote to her regularly and told her all the news etc, but now she doesnt really know what is heppening to us unless she rings up occasionally.I am more than willing to begin to do this again if she ever repents, but I dont think it will happen now.Apaprently she never mentions us to my husbands brother or anyone in the family, it is all very strange.
My husband is amazed that I will even bother to buy her small gifts and cards for her birthday and Christmas after what she did, but maybe I am too soft.
I did biblically challenge her after getting advise from other Christians (as you did), but she just attacked me and accused me of allowing Satan to take over my mind or something bizarre.We were actually advised that we should tell her pastor what she had done as it was so serious, but we never did that. Its hard to do things like that when she lives the other side of the world, and my husband said that she would never take any notice anyway.
I am VERY grateful to God for the fact that we live thousands of miles away so we never see her. We have both been through quite enough in life without that added misery.
Just as an after thought, in Italy apparently 1/3rd of all divorces are caused by mothers who wont let their sons go and want to interfere in their lifes and marriages.I think that is appalling.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 10/31/2009 11:04:50 AM
|
|
|
bolt.
Posts: 1756
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: Canada
Status: offline
|
I just wanted to add my cardinal 'rule' of boundaries:
Your feet belong to you.
Your mouth belongs to you
Your ears belong to you.
Your hands and arms belong to you.
Your house and your car belong to you.
When you face a situation of distress, abuse or control, these are your tools. Your feel can stand you up and walk away. Your mouth can say something, or say nothing, however you direct it. You don't have to answer questions or engage in discussions unless you feel they will be for the good. You can and should protect yourself from hearing what is damaging - you don't have to listen just because someone else is speaking. Your hands can hang up telephones. Your arms can scoop up children to make a quick exit. Your car is a tool to seal outsiders out and drive away. Your home is a sanctuary that is only open to people (and phone calls, letters, emails) that you choose to welcome.
There is a lot of power in knowing the things you have absolute control over.... and a lot of wisdom in knowing where there is no sense trying to influence anything (like the insides of other people's heads, or the actions they choose for the things over which they have absolute authority).
I advise you not to speak to your in laws, at all, until they give the impression that they have shifted to better behaviour. In that case, always have a ready boundary if you choose some small contacts.
Don't expect this to blow over by Christmas, since you intend to begin re-opening the relationship about then. This will be the worst Christmas on record. There will be no family events without the strife of who's not speaking to who, and who did what evil thing lately. People will take sides. (Do not engage in this conversation with any peripheral people. Just say things like, "That's not the whole story, but I'm not going to discuss any of this. I'd rather if you didn't either.") There will be no gifts for you or your children from them. There will be every intention of doing hurt and harm to your whole family. It will be painful, and lonely, and guilty.
If you ever regain a sane-and-limited polite extended family style relationship with them... I really think it will take 1 to 3 years. And even then, they will have to be watched closely that they are not deceiving you in order to 'buy' time with your vulnerable kids.
< Message edited by bolt. -- 10/31/2009 11:11:23 AM >
_____________________________
Are you having trouble getting your daily dose of the life changing Word of God?
Let my friend Brian at Daily Audio Bible help you too.
>>audio link<<
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 10/31/2009 1:23:10 PM
|
|
|
herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1449
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline
|
Agenias
Bolt has a good point about Christmas, Not a good time to re-open contact, Maybe wait till the new year and have a nice peaceful Christmas just you and hubby and the kids. hmmm lovely You really cant beat it I can tell you.
This may also make them see that you will mean buisiness.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 10/31/2009 8:41:24 PM
|
|
|
deermousie
Posts: 2216
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline
|
You all have brought up some interesting points.
My mother's approach was "my way or the highway" as well. I never saw until just now that it is emotional blackmail. Whooooaaa! I'm still learning.
DH and I discussed this situation with our elders, and they echoed that mom had torn up her mother card and had rejected/abandoned us. Basically she had "divorced" us. They advised me to get on with my life with my child and husband and his family because we were free.
It still boggles my mind - she could change to a healthier lifestyle and keep her daughter and only grandchild, or she could keep her fantasy of how "happy" her family was and what a good mother she was, and continue destroying a second generation.
She lost her son-in-law, too, whom she adored. It reminds me of the character in C.S. Lewis' book, "The Great Divorce." A guy in hell with his pet sin on a chain like a animal is talking about why he could never live God's way, and as he is speaking, he is getting smaller and smaller. Finally, the pet sin lifts the chain over its head and swallows it whole. <shudder>
What a terrible life my mother must have lived inside her head, to be so destructive in her own childrens' lives. I pity her. I have forgiven her for neglecting and abusing me (took her off my hook and hung her on God's hook - thanks for the poster who first said that. I'm sorry, I don't remember who it was. Stand up and be recognized!), and now I take care of my family that God has given me and so blessed me with. The end is better than the beginning... God does that for broken people.
 I see the godly and healthy young woman my daughter has become, and see how my husband is also being healed. Wow!!! And my own life as well, being healed bit by bit. God is so gracious to bring us through the fire while showing us what is real and what isn't and what we can do and choose, and for healing our lives and causing them to have a better ending.
I am eternally grateful! What a great God we serve!!!
Agenias, Lord willing, this will be your story, too. It sure looks like you and your husband are taking good steps in dealing with this mess. I am praying for you tonight as you go through the fire. There is health and comfort for you all.
It's a new idea to me but maybe not a bad one to consider bringing charges against a mother who is flagrantly sinning against her family. If they go to the same church and the mother names Christ as her savior, God could use that to bring healing to her if she confesses and repents her sin(s). The pastor/elders are not likely to be intimidated or swayed by her threats and lies, and can show her clearly her sin and encourage her to confess and repent it. Matt. 18 could apply here.
It would assume that they were in the same church and the pastor/elders understood the gravity of her sin and were willing to tackle it. God bless the Church leadership who understand up for God's principles and act on them! Healing often results, and whole families could be turned around.
May God's kindess and grace be visible to the whole world.
_____________________________
"Through Gates of Splendor" by Elizabeth Elliot
"Federal Husband" by Doug Wilson
www.biblegateway.com for online concordance (I use it daily)
"Passion and Purity" by Elizabeth Elliot
And I think chickens are really funny
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 10/31/2009 8:57:37 PM
|
|
|
deermousie
Posts: 2216
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: herestoresmysoul
My sister in law who is married to her other son, is waiting for her to die so she can have her husband back. I feel so sad for my sister in law.
When my abusive father died, I thought that at last we would be the happy family my passive mother always insisted we were. It was the shock of a lifetime that nothing changed.
If my father hadn't have died first, I would have never realized that my mother was part of the problem. She bought into the lies totally, and kept them going.
It's possible that your SIL may find her husband is part of the problem, believing his mother's lies, too, Herestoresmysoul. Dunno. It would be a good thing for her to talk to him about if she can. I feel bad for her, too; a man is supposed to leave his parents when he marries, and cleave to his wife.
I think there may be a lot of MILs who will have a lot of explaining to do right after they die. And a temper tantrum doesn't work against God.
_____________________________
"Through Gates of Splendor" by Elizabeth Elliot
"Federal Husband" by Doug Wilson
www.biblegateway.com for online concordance (I use it daily)
"Passion and Purity" by Elizabeth Elliot
And I think chickens are really funny
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 10/31/2009 10:13:27 PM
|
|
|
Agenias
Posts: 8
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline
|
Thank you so much for your stories and your help! I am so so sorry that so many have also had to deal with this. I am sorry for the woman whose mother was so abusive and was told to 'keep quiet'! I am so proud that you were able to stand up to her for your child's sake! It amazes me how much fight even a defeated person has when they realize that their child is in danger!
I will re-read what you have all posted again...we had to see the in laws today as we had promised to go to our niece's birthday party (she turned 12). I was nice, and smiled and when MIL was asking the girls was they were (it was a costume party), I encouraged our 3 year old to go closer and show grandma. I asked her to hold the 3 year old at one point and MIL smiled.
I don't know...I hope that God is already working in her. I know before when she was mad at me, she wouldn't even talk to me or look at me...perhaps she is understanding how she has become toward people, I don't know.
It went much better than I had expected...thank you all...praise God!
Now, my husband wrote a wonderful letter..he let me read it and I was shocked because he is normally so passive (he is changing into a different, stronger man, it's amazing). He said he is tired of trying to always please everyone and he wanted to take a stand. He stood up for me and it made me feel so loved.
He gave it to them at the end of the party in case they would be angry as we did not want to ruin our niece's party. He also told them that we would not be seeing them until Christmas. He said they were respectful about it. His dad nodded when he explained that the letter was to let them know where he stood in everything.
I do not know what they thought when they read it, as we haven't heard anything.
I agree about Christmas...I don't know what we will do. I mean, I know that Jesus can change SO much in a person's life...hubby wants to give her some books to read. She doesn't go to church, doesn't like church, as she is anti-social to people she doesn't know and doesn't really want to put herself out there.
I went and hugged her when we left and she hugged me back pretty tightly. I was surprised...although I had offered to hug her last week but I told her I didn't think she wanted me to..and she didn't answer.
So anyhow...I know that I will have 7 weeks until I see them...am starting another treatment in December, plus will be doing some heavy metal detox/getting my mercury fillings out in my teeth, ect...so I will be busy healing my body and I am sure the time will fly...after today though I do think there is hope and the story of the person whose own relationship is healing with their MIL is very encouraging.
My husband also included in the letter some of our 'religious beliefs' like as Christians we are covered with Jesus' blood and God doesn't see us as the horrible people who sin because of His blood from His son. He also explained that God doesn't give people illness to 'punish' them from sin and he went into the old covenant vs the new a little. I believe they will have questions as MIL is very old testament.
It will be interesting. I wish they would go to our church sometime, because it is SO awesome!! Who knows...maybe they would come to our Christmas Eve service...depending on how they are with everything and how we are.
Physically I did pretty good today (slept 11 hours last night, so I am sure that helped!).
Thanks SO SO much...I truly appreciate all of your wisdom, your love and your prayers!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 11/1/2009 4:34:19 AM
|
|
|
herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1449
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline
|
Deermousie yes the hook thing is great isnt it, Praise God for the godly woman who I heard teaching on forgiveness who passed that on. She had heard it from a very old pastor. Bless him.
Just to repeat it for anyone here who may find it useful, when we forgive, we are not letting them off the hook, we are taking them off our hook and putting them onto Gods hook.
That one thing helped 2 of my children to be able to forgive their dad who abused them.
God Bless
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 11/1/2009 9:46:51 AM
|
|
|
Kat_D
Posts: 1406
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Agenias
I don't know...I hope that God is already working in her. I know before when she was mad at me, she wouldn't even talk to me or look at me...perhaps she is understanding how she has become toward people, I don't know.
It went much better than I had expected...thank you all...praise God!
I went and hugged her when we left and she hugged me back pretty tightly. I was surprised...although I had offered to hug her last week but I told her I didn't think she wanted me to..and she didn't answer.
It looks like God may be starting to work in her life through the love and kindness you showed her in spite of the things she has done. This is the kind of love that changes people...a Christlike love. After all, He died for us while we were still sinners.
8 "And above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins." -I Peter:4
8 "Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. 13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. -I Cor 13
Lest others think I don't know of which I speak. I grew up with an extremely abusive mother and hated her before I was saved. When I came to Jesus, He told me He wanted to heal that relationship and brought me to a place of forgiveness and love for her. I ended up being her caregiver until she died. I am so grateful to God for what He did to heal our relationship...something that never would have happened had I cut her off because she was toxic.
May the Lord bless you as you continue to seek Him in this, Agenias. I am praying for you.
Edited for spelling.
< Message edited by Kat_D -- 11/1/2009 9:55:08 AM >
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 11/1/2009 12:07:26 PM
|
|
|
herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1449
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline
|
yes sometimes the relationship can be restored to a point, but if the other person refuses to change or repent or to even admit to acting in anyway badly then there is little that can be done.All we can do is forgive and pray for that person, but God cannot force them to open their eyes to what is really happening, and some people will die without that happening.
My MIL is 79 now and is no nearer changing than she was, in fact she has got worse as she has got older.We have forgiven her, we pray for her, we ask God to help her to see what is going on and that He would set her free, but she has to do her past also in the end. We are all responsible for the way that we ourselves behave,and not for the way that others chose to behave. She chooses to think that nothing is wrong. She chooses to ignore any challenges. She chooses to even deny that she said things that she did. Her choice.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 11/1/2009 1:39:12 PM
|
|
|
SurpassingPeace
Posts: 803
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline
|
Kat_D, I agree that it is wonderful when relationships reconcile. We have reconciled with my inlaws. I reconciled and have a wonderful relationship with my mother who was very abusive. However, I would never tell someone they were wrong if they thought they could not be in a relationship with someone because that person caused too much strife and heartache in their lives. This is especially true if the toxicness, is that even a word, is starting to affect children.
_____________________________
Karen
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 11/2/2009 12:44:02 AM
|
|
|
herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1449
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: SurpassingPeace
Kat_D, I agree that it is wonderful when relationships reconcile. We have reconciled with my inlaws. I reconciled and have a wonderful relationship with my mother who was very abusive. However, I would never tell someone they were wrong if they thought they could not be in a relationship with someone because that person caused too much strife and heartache in their lives. This is especially true if the toxicness, is that even a word, is starting to affect children.
Also no person ahould be allowed to break up other peoples marriages. My MIL tries to do this with her sons marriages and apparentkly her mother also was called a 'home wrecker'.
This is behaviour that just isnt to be tolerated in any shape or form. I woudnt tolerate it from any member of my family either.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 11/2/2009 12:50:48 AM
|
|
|
herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1449
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline
|
Derrmousie
My son has also spread its usage to South Africa as he went there this summer as part of a missions trip and taught on forgiveness to over 500 young people (first time he had ever done anything like that) and he used that hook thing then.
He has also spoken about what hapened to him and forgiveness and the the 'hook' thing to his church, so the word is spreading.Forgiveness is SO crucial for us isnt it as it blocks healing and keeps us in bondage.
The lady who teaches this is actually the spiritual leader of a large Christian ministry and teaching centre here in the UK so many many people have heard her teaching on forgivenes and of her struggle to do it and what finally helped. God is good isnt He.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 11/2/2009 12:56:53 AM
|
|
|
deermousie
Posts: 2216
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: herestoresmysoul
Derrmousie
My son has also spread its usage to South Africa as he went there this summer as part of a missions trip and taught on forgiveness to over 500 young people (first time he had ever done anything like that) and he used that hook thing then.
He has also spoken about what hapened to him and forgiveness and the the 'hook' thing to his church, so the word is spreading.Forgiveness is SO crucial for us isnt it as it blocks healing and keeps us in bondage.
The lady who teaches this is actually the spiritual leader of a large Christian ministry and teaching centre here in the UK so many many people have heard her teaching on forgivenes and of her struggle to do it and what finally helped. God is good isnt He.
Indeed He is! That is so cool about your son, too!
May God's truth fill all the earth.
_____________________________
"Through Gates of Splendor" by Elizabeth Elliot
"Federal Husband" by Doug Wilson
www.biblegateway.com for online concordance (I use it daily)
"Passion and Purity" by Elizabeth Elliot
And I think chickens are really funny
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 11/6/2009 5:20:43 PM
|
|
|
Agenias
Posts: 8
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline
|
Thank you all very much for your help, I appreciate it very much...Inlaws have not responded to my husband's letter, though I expected it. I am feeling like my body is working back up to where it was now when MIL started this nonsense, so that is a GOOD thing =)
Take care,
Rachel
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 11/6/2009 6:58:20 PM
|
|
|
deermousie
Posts: 2216
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline
|
God bless you and your husband, Rachel, and give you His health and peace. (((HUgs)))
_____________________________
"Through Gates of Splendor" by Elizabeth Elliot
"Federal Husband" by Doug Wilson
www.biblegateway.com for online concordance (I use it daily)
"Passion and Purity" by Elizabeth Elliot
And I think chickens are really funny
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Please Help with In Laws! - 11/9/2009 10:06:29 PM
|
|
|
rockominal
Posts: 660
Joined: 8/15/2007
From: Indiana
Status: offline
|
First of all, my condolences to you regarding this situation.
quote:
ORIGINAL: herestoresmysoul
In my opinion you need to cut off ALL contact with such poisonous people until you are well enough to see them again and even after that they need to be given strict boundaries about what they are or are not allowed to say, or you will stop contact again.
In my opinion, you had the best take on a related issue in another topic. Same exact thing, just going back farther it it was possible.
Re: would you get involved with somebody that had no family?
quote:
ORIGINAL: herestoresmysoul
It wouldnt bother me in the least, in fact it could be a real blessing, as so many families are a mess and cause so much unhappiness for a couple.Just think, no pressure to have to go and be with them for all the holidays, and no interference and controlling your lives.
When dh and I met, we had both been married before so he did have 2 young adult sons. Apart from that he has a mother who, Praise The Lord, lives in Australia (hubby is Australian) and has one brother who is married with three young adult children, also living in Australia. So affectively he has no family who he ever sees apart from his sons who he sees once a month or so.
he doesnt miss his family and sees me and my kids and his boys as his family.He has no relationship with his mum, apart from cards and the VERY occasional phone call, and the only contact we have with his brother is when I e-mail my sister in law and we exchange news etc.So its like he doesnt have any wider family really.
.
_____________________________
I might tell you the truth, or something pretty close to it. Jesus says, "I Am the Truth."
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
