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checking out women - 10/10/2009 8:38:02 PM
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johnbegood
Posts: 3
Joined: 10/7/2009
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Yes I'm a man
I want the help of women that's why I posted here I have a problem well I thinks it's a problem all though my Pastor says it's not he says that's the way men are wired and it's better than if I was checking out men and I shouldn't worry to much about it
Anyways my problem is that I can't stop looking at women I love to look at pretty woman sometimes I might even comment nothing dirty something like nice hair, I'm not trying to be a pig but I have to tell you that you look beautiful something like that....I'm not sure about this but I think women are ok with it because I'm an attractive male well people say above the normal attractive male I'm not trying to talk highly about my self I actually speak very negative about myself that's a whole different problem...I just want to know is what I'm doing wrong why is it that I can't stop I do try I say look away God doesn't like it, and for the most part it works give me some advice please
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RE: checking out women - 10/10/2009 8:52:00 PM
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ta_mosquito
Posts: 10994
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
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Moving from Women Only to She Says.
Thanks!
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RE: checking out women - 10/10/2009 9:07:10 PM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1449
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline
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I think from you post that you arent married. if you were, your wife would almost certianly not want you to be always looking at attractive women and telling them how attractive they are or whatever it is. That would be very hurtful for her.
Most men are attracted to the way women look, but at the same time are not helpless to stop doing it, or at least not stare or make any comment. I guess a lot depends on who the woman is. If she is a girlfriend, it is appropriate to say nice things. if she is married or you dont really know her, then it isnt. She may get the worng impression if you keep complimentimng her. She may think you are wanting to go out with her or are flirting.
So my thoughts are that you cant help noticing an attractive woman, but you can control how long you look and what you say (or dont say). Also if you want to get married one day, you may as well start practising now to stop staring and keeping your mouth shut!!!
When you marry your wife should be your standard of beauty, and she wont usually appreciate you telling other women how attractive they are.
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RE: checking out women - 10/10/2009 9:16:27 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 2216
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: johnbegood
why is it that I can't stop
John, I'm not sure if this was a statement you meant to say; I'll assume it is unless you say different.
The Bible says in Romans 6:14:
sin shall not be master over you
If there is any thing in a Christian's life that they can't control but rather it is in control of them, then something needs fixing. OK, so fix it. <shrug>
In your shoes, I'd find a good Christian, trained counselor and hammer this out with him. God means for you to be free, and died to pay the price. So you know it's God's will for you to be free, and He will help you.
All of us are born sinners, and God forgives us and teaches us step by step to become healthy because He is healthy. If you can't stop obsessing, a counselor is trained to help. Go find a good one and may God bless you!
_____________________________
"Through Gates of Splendor" by Elizabeth Elliot
"Federal Husband" by Doug Wilson
www.biblegateway.com for online concordance (I use it daily)
"Passion and Purity" by Elizabeth Elliot
And I think chickens are really funny
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RE: checking out women - 10/11/2009 7:22:03 AM
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car2ner
Posts: 2537
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: just north of Florida
Status: offline
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For many women this would be beyone annoying but not to all women. M'love and I were at a water park last week. If the idea that a pretty girl would catch his eye bothered me it would have ruined the day. There were just so many almost naked people there (and only a handful really looked good in their bathing suits) and if a look here and a look there was a huge problem then we would have had no fun at all. In fact, as we had lunch we chose a location specificially for people watching.
That being said, I have an internal timer in my head (no specific number...just a sixth sense) and if the stare goes past that time I give m'love a playful smack and his attention comes back to me.
Only you know what you are thinking about as you are people watching. Keep in mind that it may be very upsetting to your future wife. If a glimpse turns into a stare and a stare turns into a fantasy....knock it off.
_____________________________
http://www.car2ner.2ya.com
http://car2ner.imagekind.com
"May your days be long and your hardships few".
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RE: checking out women - 10/11/2009 8:34:32 AM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1449
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline
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johnbegood. Maybe think about how you would feel if your girlfriend/wife was always staring at other men, and going up to them to tell them how good looking they are, or what lovely muscles that have or how you like their hairy chest or whatever.Would that make you feel hurt or would you be 100% happy about that?.
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RE: checking out women - 10/23/2009 9:09:30 PM
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thechristianpastor
Posts: 9
Joined: 10/23/2009
Status: offline
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I say if you are not married then you may look at attractive women, but if you are married it is a sin, the bible goes so far as to say that it is adultry, so this is not a good idea. However, I would check out her ring finger before checking her out because her husband may not be amused and would you want some man checking out your wife. We women do care if you are our husband or significant other, future husband or boyfriend if you look at other women and God said that if you look at a woman in lust that it is the same as sinning with her when you are with someone.
_____________________________
Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love him. (1Cor 2:9)
http://nobsjustjesus.com
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RE: checking out women - 10/24/2009 8:04:02 PM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1449
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: thechristianpastor
I say if you are not married then you may look at attractive women, but if you are married it is a sin, the bible goes so far as to say that it is adultry, so this is not a good idea. However, I would check out her ring finger before checking her out because her husband may not be amused and would you want some man checking out your wife. We women do care if you are our husband or significant other, future husband or boyfriend if you look at other women and God said that if you look at a woman in lust that it is the same as sinning with her when you are with someone.
So why is it different if he is married or not? Its still lust even if he single, These women are not his to stare at or drool over,Thye are either already someone elses wife or they will be one day.he cant help noticing but he can help staring, and making remarks.
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RE: checking out women - 10/29/2009 4:52:43 AM
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Anon101
Posts: 181
Joined: 10/21/2009
Status: offline
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If you are just looking at a pretty girl, that is normal. It is when the looking becomes more than looking but lust and then daydreaming, etc.
Men are more visual than woman. That is how God made men. You are going to look at pretty women or women in general. It is normal.
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RE: checking out women - 11/1/2009 11:17:49 AM
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bricole77
Posts: 105
Joined: 7/28/2006
From: Grand Haven, MI
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: johnbegood
Yes I'm a man
I want the help of women that's why I posted here I have a problem well I thinks it's a problem all though my Pastor says it's not he says that's the way men are wired and it's better than if I was checking out men and I shouldn't worry to much about it
Anyways my problem is that I can't stop looking at women I love to look at pretty woman sometimes I might even comment nothing dirty something like nice hair, I'm not trying to be a pig but I have to tell you that you look beautiful something like that....I'm not sure about this but I think women are ok with it because I'm an attractive male well people say above the normal attractive male I'm not trying to talk highly about my self I actually speak very negative about myself that's a whole different problem...I just want to know is what I'm doing wrong why is it that I can't stop I do try I say look away God doesn't like it, and for the most part it works give me some advice please
Who doesn't appreciate a great work of art? :) As long as your being respectful I don't think the artist minds....
_____________________________
~*britanni *~
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RE: checking out women - 11/1/2009 6:12:40 PM
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BelleWeather
Posts: 708
Joined: 7/29/2009
From: New York City
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: johnbegood
Yes I'm a man
I want the help of women that's why I posted here I have a problem well I thinks it's a problem all though my Pastor says it's not he says that's the way men are wired and it's better than if I was checking out men and I shouldn't worry to much about it
Anyways my problem is that I can't stop looking at women I love to look at pretty woman sometimes I might even comment nothing dirty something like nice hair, I'm not trying to be a pig but I have to tell you that you look beautiful something like that....I'm not sure about this but I think women are ok with it because I'm an attractive male well people say above the normal attractive male I'm not trying to talk highly about my self I actually speak very negative about myself that's a whole different problem...I just want to know is what I'm doing wrong why is it that I can't stop I do try I say look away God doesn't like it, and for the most part it works give me some advice please
A casual look, and "Good Morning" is inoffensive, and can be pleasant, if done politely.
Staring, and making personal observations about my person are presumptuous, rude, and very bad manners. Behavior like that is not complimentary, to the contrary, it is insulting.
I don't care how attractive you think are, or how captivating I happen to be.
_____________________________
We think we fathom the depths
when we are just skimming the surface with our finger.
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RE: checking out women - 11/2/2009 4:19:10 PM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1449
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BelleWeather
quote:
ORIGINAL: johnbegood
Yes I'm a man
I want the help of women that's why I posted here I have a problem well I thinks it's a problem all though my Pastor says it's not he says that's the way men are wired and it's better than if I was checking out men and I shouldn't worry to much about it
Anyways my problem is that I can't stop looking at women I love to look at pretty woman sometimes I might even comment nothing dirty something like nice hair, I'm not trying to be a pig but I have to tell you that you look beautiful something like that....I'm not sure about this but I think women are ok with it because I'm an attractive male well people say above the normal attractive male I'm not trying to talk highly about my self I actually speak very negative about myself that's a whole different problem...I just want to know is what I'm doing wrong why is it that I can't stop I do try I say look away God doesn't like it, and for the most part it works give me some advice please
A casual look, and "Good Morning" is inoffensive, and can be pleasant, if done politely.
Staring, and making personal observations about my person are presumptuous, rude, and very bad manners. Behavior like that is not complimentary, to the contrary, it is insulting.
I don't care how attractive you think are, or how captivating I happen to be.
Amen. Noticing someone attractive is different from constantly staring at women and making comments at them.
One of the things that I love so much about my husband is that he doesn't do this. He wont stare at women, especially if they are dressed immodestly and would never dream of saying ANYTHING of that nature to any woman (unless it was me.lol)
Of course a few women like this sort of attention, but that still dosnt make it right to give them what they want.
Most women do not want a boyfriend or husband who cant stop looking at other women, and if went up to them and told them how pretty they were (or whatever it may be) he had better watch out.So maybe learn to stop doing it now while you have time to learn. You REALLY CAN stop doing this, you are not helpless.
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