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RE: Does God care who we marry? - 7/31/2009 3:27:34 PM
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mikesayen
Posts: 477
Joined: 12/17/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Isaiah331516
something that strikes me is how fast Christians will give up on God. how much do you believe what He says? of course, no body has to beleive, and no body has to believe or even often believes what God tells someone else.
i appreciate all of your concern.
still, it would be nice occasionally to find someone who doesn't say "give up on God," or who doesn't pray that i do.
today, a co-worker shared how a friend fought so long with cancer and finally accepted that she would die from it and then she died. i know that while God's will may not be to heal everyone from cancer, i know that He would heal more if they just believe He would.
Jesus said to pray believing, not pray hoping. many of us pray, "if it's God's will, heal this person or...." please, don't pray for me like that, and i won't pray for you like that. i have found that i would rather pray for something i believe as that is what God tells me to do. i won't pray for something if i don't believe it. i think many of us (bc i used to think like this myself) are honestly or have been honestly afraid to pray with BOLD belief bc "what if what i prayed for doesn't happen?" isn't that just what the devil wants-don't pray in case it doesn't happen. the devil has gotten so many Christians to doubt that the power of God often gets ignored or not used.
there is a difference between hope and belief.
hoping something occurs is not always bad, but if you know it is supposed to happen, don't hope it happens-believe it will happen.
practically every day (maybe every day) i realize how i can choose to believe God's word (not just about this) or settle for what the world offers. most often the line is easy to cross as even most Christians accept the world's bread.
i guess most of you are right. i can keep believing something, or i can give up. giving up and 'moving on' just makes so much more sense.
you are only to pray "according to God's will" for if you are not sure what God's will is or the bible does not specifically say,, then you are to "ask" God and send your pertitions, requests. You can only pray in Faith if the Holy Spirit told you what to Pray or you pray according to God's will from his word. Like, we are to pray in faith God heals "all" sicknesses and desises.. but we can not pray in faith to get hired at one job or another, just because we think it is God's will. Faith is the substance of things unseen and the evidence of thigs hoped for.. unless you Know it is God's will you can not pray in faith. :)
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RE: Does God care who we marry? - 7/31/2009 3:32:59 PM
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mikesayen
Posts: 477
Joined: 12/17/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Isaiah331516
i know. God never lies :-)
about God never lying. God has many times in the Old testament said a king or man or Israel is to do something, but because of their sin it was either posponed or changed after the circumstance. You two were to get married and you both heard from God before he married someone else. But he married another, you have to let go of that and ask God what His will for your life is now. God does not plan on breaking his new marriage up, nor desires too. It says in Matt 5 that if a man looks at another woman in lust he has committed adultery in his heart.. you are committing adutlery in your heart if you are looking to marry another wifes husband. Do not covet.. do not desire another persons husband. love you.
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RE: Does God care who we marry? - 7/31/2009 3:38:40 PM
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mikesayen
Posts: 477
Joined: 12/17/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Isaiah331516
i see..also if one is to say that remarriage (in some instances) is adultery, then as Jesus says remarrying (if outside the okayed reasons by God) is commiting adultery. so that would be a marriage God would want divorced as they ARE commiting adultery by even being married.
so do you want this man to reconize the marriage was never from God and divorce this woman to marry you?
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RE: Does God care who we marry? - 7/31/2009 7:50:10 PM
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mikesayen
Posts: 477
Joined: 12/17/2008
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Question: "Does God change His mind?"
Answer: Malachi 3:6 declares, “I the LORD do not change. So you, O descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed.” Similarly, James 1:17 tells us, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” The meaning of Numbers 23:19 could not be more clear: “God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should change His mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill?” No, God does not change His mind. These verses assert that God is unchanging and unchangeable.
How then do we explain verses such as Genesis 6:6, “The LORD was grieved that He had made man on the earth, and His heart was filled with pain”? Also, Jonah 3:10, which says, “When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, He had compassion and did not bring upon them the destruction He had threatened.” Similarly, Exodus 32:14 proclaims, “Then the LORD relented and did not bring on His people the disaster He had threatened.” These verses speak of the Lord “repenting” of something and seem to contradict the doctrine of God’s immutability. However, close examination of these passages reveals that these are not truly indications that God is capable of changing. In the original language, the word that is translated as “repent” or “relent” is the Hebrew expression “to be sorry for.” Being sorry for something does not mean that a change has occurred; it simply means there is regret for something that has taken place.
Consider Genesis 6:6: “…the LORD was grieved that He had made man on the earth.” This verse even goes on to say “His heart was filled with pain.” This verse declares that God had regret for creating man. However, obviously He did not reverse His decision. Instead, through Noah, He allowed man to continue to exist. The fact that we are alive today is proof that God did not change His mind about creating man. Also, the context of this passage is a description of the sinful state in which man was living, and it is man’s sinfulness that triggered God’s sorrow, not man’s existence. Consider Jonah 3:10: “…He had compassion and did not bring upon them the destruction He had threatened.” Again, the same Hebrew word is used, which translates “to be sorry for.” Why was God sorry for what He had planned for the Ninevites? Because they had a change in heart and as a result changed their ways from disobedience to obedience. God is entirely consistent. God was going to judge Nineveh because of its evil. However, Nineveh repented and changed its ways. As a result, God had mercy on Nineveh, which is entirely consistent with His character.
Romans 3:23 teaches us that all men sin and fall short of God’s standard. Romans 6:23 states that the consequence for this is death (spiritual and physical). So the people of Nineveh were deserving of punishment. All of us face this same situation; it is man’s choosing to sin that separates us from God. Man cannot hold God responsible for his own predicament. So it would be contrary to the character of God to not punish the Ninevites had they continued in sin. However, the people of Nineveh turned to obedience, and for that the Lord chose not to punish them as He had originally intended. Did the change on the part of the Ninevites obligate God to do what He did? Absolutely not! God cannot be placed in a position of obligation to man. God is good and righteous, and chose not to punish the Ninevites as a result of their change of heart. If anything, what this passage does is point to the fact that God does not change, because had the Lord not preserved the Ninevites, it would have been contrary to His character.
The Scriptures that are interpreted as God seeming to change His mind are human attempts to explain the actions of God. God was going to do something, but instead did something else. To us, that sounds like a change. But to God, who is omniscient and sovereign, it is not a change. God always knew what He was going to do. God does what He needs to do to cause humanity to fulfill His perfect plan. “…declaring the end from the beginning, and from the past things which were not done, saying, My purpose shall stand, and I will do all My pleasure … What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do” (Isaiah 46:10-11). God threatened Nineveh with destruction, knowing that it would cause Nineveh to repent. God threatened Israel with destruction, knowing that Moses would intercede. God does not regret His decisions, but He is saddened by some of what man sometimes does in response to His decisions. God does not change His mind but rather acts consistently with His Word in response to our actions.
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RE: Does God care who we marry? - 11/6/2009 8:45:33 PM
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jeremyvr
Posts: 1
Joined: 11/6/2009
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Isaiah331516,
I felt like I wanted to write you at the very least just to let you know that you are not alone. I found this thread while doing internet searches trying to find answers to the same situation you are in for my own life. I too was told the person that would be my spouse and I was told the circumstances of meeting that person and they all happened very blatantly and sure as day without me doing anything to make them happen. If anything I was consciously trying to make it not happen so that I could know beyond all doubt that the word for me was real and not just a coincidence. Then after seven years of waiting and preparing for her (including six years of just waiting according to the Lord's leading and then a year of writing to and praying for her constantly and fighting for her and her spiritual growth in God in every way I knew how) she just told me one day that she was now engaged to someone else and she never wanted to hear from me again and that I needed to start putting my time and energy into something that was real. I tried a few things to keep in touch and fight for her, but they didn't work and were instead received as me being a stalker and a threat by her and her family so I felt I had to walk away to protect myself from false accusations, so I did. After doing that God told me that He didn't lead me to walk away. That put me in tears of repentance and regret for days, but if I was speaking honestly all I could say is that I have always wanted to be a man of faith, but I didn't have the faith to go any farther, there was just too little left for me to feel safe holding onto. A few months later she married someone else.
Everything I did related to this promise I did after deep introspection and I had my sister read most of my letters as well before sending them just so that I could make sure they were of God and not written out of deception. I had definite guidance and words from God many times during the process, there were several times that I felt very strongly that I needed to fast, pray, etc. and with God's help I was able to do those things and I feel like I did my best. There were many times that I just wanted to give up because the opposition just seemed too great, but God was always there for me when I had nothing left and just wanted to quit. I have grown tremendously through this and God has healed a lot of my own fears and past pain as a result of all of this, but in many ways I am still in shock, and I don't know what I am supposed to do now. She has now been married for about a year and a half and they have a child.
I feel like I can't walk away from a promise without new guidance and ideally a better understanding of what happened, but at the same time I would be dishonoring anyone else by not being able to give them all of my heart as well. I still wonder if this is all my fault for walking away after being accused of stalking, but God did tell me after weeks of praying and struggling with this that she was not seeking Him and that was the reason this happened. I thought that would help and provide me the closure I wanted, but that ended up providing me little comfort. I jump between wondering why God would promise me someone that isn't seeking Him to begin with, and wondering if this is some sort of a longer term promise that will one day work for his glory in a way that I cannot see at this present time.
Sometimes I wonder if this was all some big trick that God knew I would interpret incorrectly and that He is using that misinterpretation to help me grow closer to Him. However, if that were true I feel like my faith would be weakened rather than strengthened, because any guidance I receive in the future I would now be hesitant to follow for fear that I might have it all wrong and dishonor His name in the process. Right now it just seems like anything I do would be outside of God's will for my life, but doing nothing is very hard as well because it feels like the person that God made for me to wait for in every way and then spend my life loving and helping has willingly chosen someone else instead. What does that say about me? Now I just wonder if maybe I failed at something I was supposed to do or be and I can't shake that thought in my head. It is very hard for me to feel like God is throwing away all of my dreams and desires and leading me to keep believing for this just so that He can be magnified in the end, but that's what it feels like He is calling me to do sometimes.
Is it wrong to feel disappointed by the thought that God's promise for me of a spouse in the future includes a woman that has so blatantly thrown me to the side and chosen another, who in the future would be bringing a a child from a former marriage and would also in the future have to be a widow or divorced due to infidelity for me to be safe in God to marry if she did even decide she was interested in me again to begin with? When does forgiveness become giving up on your dreams? When does turning the other cheek turn into just being a doormat?
I want to keep waiting if that is in fact His will for my life, but it is very scary to think that God's will might involve me never having anything that I have longed for, waited for, and that I believe God has told me is very important to a successful marriage and essential to a life truly lived in Him. Yes I believe that God can use all things for the good of those that seek Him and that He can change hearts and heal marriages etc. but can it ever end up being even close to as amazing as never having the problems, struggles, and pain to begin with? I just can't see myself being happy in any real way with anything less than his best and with a spouse that actually cares enough about marriage and what it means to think that it is something to be taken very seriously and worth waiting for.
Sometimes it feels like God forgives everyone too easily and that at the same time always expects more of me than I can ever be, so no matter how hard I try I still fail and miss out on everything I ever wanted. I also realize that a past issue of mine related to my childhood that I need to find healing for, but I haven't found the answer to that yet. I understand surrender and that love is giving yourself to another for their benefit instead of your own, and that I should be thinking about loving others instead of just thinking of myself, but at what point does it just become tossing pearls to swine?
I just joined this forum so that I could touch base with you and see how you are doing and if you have found any new direction related to your situation since your last post in this thread. I have not found much else related to this topic, and others that I talk to about this seem clueless as to what it even feels like to be in this situation let alone what to do next.
I hope this helps in some way, Jeremyvr
< Message edited by jeremyvr -- 11/6/2009 10:32:56 PM >
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RE: Does God care who we marry? - 11/7/2009 12:05:54 AM
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agapeflight
Posts: 120
Joined: 3/29/2009
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Ah yes the ever popular 'Word from the Lord' about how is supposed to be your spouse. Well, if we ask God he can speak but He much prefers that two people place him first, first of all, and then take responsiblity for the decision they make to marry by being ready to work through whatever happens. Part of the problem I am sorry to say is that American culture is so sinful that you cannot find a healthy marriage if you look with x-ray vision. We immerse ourselves to the hilt with every kind of distraction and then naively think that dropping money into the offering plate and going to church is what Romans 12:1,2 is referring to when it talks about a living sacrifice. Unless we truly love the Lord with all of our heart, ie we are willing to forsake anything for Him we are in no position to expect that we will never slip or fall. In fact even the greatest saints did so often, though you cannot practice sin. So, if you realy want God to move in your life, you get alone with Him and shut everything else out and simply say, 'Lord, You are Lord, and I give myself to you body, soul, and spirit. Whatever you ask me to do I will do it. Let nothing stay in my life except it has come from You, and if I am still walking the path of the blind do whatever it takes to make my eyes see.'
If you can sincerely pray that, He will not let you down. He can work in a willing heart and through your life to touch the people around you. I suspect that you are not the only person in your choir whose was/is not what it appeared to be. American church leadership is notorius for looking polished on the outside and hiding secrets. Get honest about how despartately and continually you need Jesus, leave no stone unturned and He will lead you into that stream of life until it is over your head and you are certain that one more step will drown you. Then take that next step and breath deeply the waters of life.
The wilderness is a place of loss, the promised land is a place of victory. The wilderness generation had to die, this symbyolizes our flesh which must be put to death by a sweeping change. Wake up and realize that American christianity is dead and start trying to revive the few you know who don't think Jesus said 'In my Father's McMansion there are many Big Macs and flat screen TV's and whirlpools, and 401k's...'
The message is hard but what I see in almost all of these marriage threads is people who make hal-hearted commitments to the Lord and because of that they do what they want and get burned, then wonder why. You cannot make another person love Jesus, so you love Him and then listen carefully both to the revealed word and the voice of His Holy Spirit wortking inside of you. Then we understand that marriages can only be healed when at least one person is willing to put God first. Once a spouse gains their spouse as a spiritual ally, now the two of you can send ten thousand fleeing.
May the Lord see and restore the many marriages that are expressed in this forums.
God typically will not tell you specifically who you should marry because that choice is part of your responsibility and He does not tell you who to love. He can guide you and the Bible and the Spirit are trustworthy in helping us, but love is the only real answer to the problem. Love God more than anything and then love your neighbor, including your spouse children, etc.
We need God's grace for this and He is willing to pour it out if we sincerely ask Him for it.
God bless.
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