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RE: I Didn't Mean To Lead You On - 11/16/2008 9:57:20 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 6040
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz
While I would never make a trip specifically to see a man I was not interested in, if I was already going to be in their area, for an entirely different reason, I see no problem in meeting up for coffee.
If a man said they wanted to come for a visit, I would automatically think he was interested. But again, If he was going to be here on business anyway, I think it would be fun to meet up for coffee.
I agree with both of these points. If I'm going to be in the area and want to meet up with people for coffee then I see no problem with that. It worked perfectly once, but the second time, someone did misinterpret my intentions and I feel bad.
Same thing with the second point... if he's going to be in the area, I see nothing wrong with a casual meet-up. In fact, it's pretty rude if you're the area and don't at least make attempts at seeing people you know, whether you're of the opposite sex or not.
_____________________________
<-- When did Hollywood go from classy to 'cheap & easy'?
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RE: I Didn't Mean To Lead You On - 11/16/2008 9:59:12 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12079
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz
While I would never make a trip specifically to see a man I was not interested in, if I was already going to be in their area, for an entirely different reason, I see no problem in meeting up for coffee.
If a man said they wanted to come for a visit, I would automatically think he was interested. But again, If he was going to be here on business anyway, I think it would be fun to meet up for coffee.
And this is the point - if you're already going to be in an area and you know someone from here (or elsewhere) lives in the area - there is NO problem meeting up - I've done it many times. BUT, if you INTENTIONALLY make a special trip to go meet someone, as others have said, that screams interest. Actions do speak louder than words.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: I Didn't Mean To Lead You On - 11/16/2008 10:01:04 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 17763
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
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Last year I visited a good friend, but it was clear that it was just that though.
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RE: I Didn't Mean To Lead You On - 11/16/2008 10:02:34 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8040
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz
While I would never make a trip specifically to see a man I was not interested in, if I was already going to be in their area, for an entirely different reason, I see no problem in meeting up for coffee.
Now this I can understand. In fact I met Lisa and Michelle that way when I was down in their neck of the woods.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: I Didn't Mean To Lead You On - 11/16/2008 10:03:08 PM
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WaitingforBoaz
Posts: 4249
Joined: 2/11/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl
quote:
ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz
While I would never make a trip specifically to see a man I was not interested in, if I was already going to be in their area, for an entirely different reason, I see no problem in meeting up for coffee.
If a man said they wanted to come for a visit, I would automatically think he was interested. But again, If he was going to be here on business anyway, I think it would be fun to meet up for coffee.
And this is the point - if you're already going to be in an area and you know someone from here (or elsewhere) lives in the area - there is NO problem meeting up - I've done it many times. BUT, if you INTENTIONALLY make a special trip to go meet someone, as others have said, that screams interest. Actions do speak louder than words.
I agree!!
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RE: I Didn't Mean To Lead You On - 11/16/2008 10:03:44 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12079
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz
While I would never make a trip specifically to see a man I was not interested in, if I was already going to be in their area, for an entirely different reason, I see no problem in meeting up for coffee.
Now this I can understand. In fact I met Lisa and Michelle that way when I was down in their neck of the woods.
Exactly! It was a great night - full of lots of wind and lightning and laughs. Times like that are priceless.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: I Didn't Mean To Lead You On - 11/16/2008 10:06:58 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 6040
Joined: 5/2/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz
While I would never make a trip specifically to see a man I was not interested in, if I was already going to be in their area, for an entirely different reason, I see no problem in meeting up for coffee.
Now this I can understand. In fact I met Lisa and Michelle that way when I was down in their neck of the woods.
Exactly! It was a great night - full of lots of wind and lightning and laughs. Times like that are priceless.
Yeah, I loved it, too!! Great memories, and there were no expectations... And hey, I got to network with your friend, too. 
Two years ago, I made a trip North to see the leaves and one CWer took me to dinner while I was up there. The next year, I tried to arrange a mini-GT, but it turned out to be three separate GT's. Those were a lot of fun, too.
_____________________________
<-- When did Hollywood go from classy to 'cheap & easy'?
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RE: I Didn't Mean To Lead You On - 11/16/2008 10:07:58 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8040
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz
While I would never make a trip specifically to see a man I was not interested in, if I was already going to be in their area, for an entirely different reason, I see no problem in meeting up for coffee.
Now this I can understand. In fact I met Lisa and Michelle that way when I was down in their neck of the woods.
Exactly! It was a great night - full of lots of wind and lightning and laughs. Times like that are priceless.
Just so people don't get the wrong idea.....
It was stormy outside. no one ate beans and no one had any gastro-intestinal eruptions
BTW, did you see the photo of the royal family in the joke thread? I'm still snickering about that
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: I Didn't Mean To Lead You On - 11/16/2008 11:36:49 PM
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SamsonUSA
Posts: 1055
Joined: 10/5/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
Now what if they were coming to your area just for vacation instead?
What if they were SAYING they were coming to your area just for vacation but were actually planning the whole trip just to see you??
_____________________________
Knowledge humbles great men, astonishes the common man, and puffs up the little man
Chubby babies rock!
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RE: I Didn't Mean To Lead You On - 11/16/2008 11:38:31 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 17763
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SamsonUSA
quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
Now what if they were coming to your area just for vacation instead?
What if they were SAYING they were coming to your area just for vacation but were actually planning the whole trip just to see you??
I dunno, I like lots of places of the USA, but I like visiting people too. Usually that helps me narrow it down.
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RE: I Didn't Mean To Lead You On - 11/16/2008 11:42:47 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 3282
Status: offline
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I'm not sure if this is off topic, but how would men interpret it if a woman who you're friends with IRL came to visit you? Would you take her visit as a sign of interest? I am asking because I plan on visiting my friend/hiking partner in England maybe in a year or two and I don't want to be misconstrued. I have no interest in the guy, but he's one of those men that I truly like and admire as a man, and as a person.
Also, if I meet someone in a hiking forum and decided to spend my vacation in a city that he lives in because they have the greatest mountains to hike, would that be automatically taken as interest? Because for me, it's not but it seems that men have a different take on this.
Would these two scenarios be any different than what we've been discussing? One is about a former real life friend, and the other is a friendship bound by common interest.
_____________________________
Wishing for a Steelers/Eagles superbowl.
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RE: I Didn't Mean To Lead You On - 11/17/2008 8:46:47 AM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12079
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
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Are they both single? If so, make sure to comment how you'd love to meet their SO so they know that there is no interest on your part. Your friend in England should already know that you're not interested. The other one you need to be a bit more careful and be very open from the beginning. Again, comment about meeting the SO.
Since you'd be meeting because of this other common interest, that might help - but, it can be a sticky situation.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: I Didn't Mean To Lead You On - 11/17/2008 5:15:56 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 3282
Status: offline
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quote:
Are they both single? If so, make sure to comment how you'd love to meet their SO so they know that there is no interest on your part. Your friend in England should already know that you're not interested. The other one you need to be a bit more careful and be very open from the beginning. Again, comment about meeting the SO.
Since you'd be meeting because of this other common interest, that might help - but, it can be a sticky situation
The guy in England was single when he moved a month ago. If he's not single anymore in two years, then I'd have nothing to worry, lol. And who knows, I might not be single anymore by then either. Besides, him and I have known each other for years, and even though he had been interested in the past, he was always respectful and never crossed any lines. But since this visit will involve some long distance travelling, I just wondered if that might be misconstrued. I'm almost positive that it's not likely.
As for the other scenario, it's a hypothetical situation. I belong to a Colorado hiking/climbing forum and every once in a while I contact some members to ask some question. Since I'll be going there next summer, I do plan on getting more visible in the forum to get acquanted with the members and hopefully meet some people that I can hike with. It's just a normal thing there. ANd who knows, I might not be single by then either, lol.
I sound hopeful, don't I?
I guess I'll take all the advice from this thread about being cautious when meeting people online and travellign to meet them.
_____________________________
Wishing for a Steelers/Eagles superbowl.
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RE: I Didn't Mean To Lead You On - 11/17/2008 7:35:03 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12079
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
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Okay - you just clarified that you already have the trip to Colorado planned - so that you can go hiking. You are not making the trip to go SEE someone there. That's the difference.
With the one in England - you've been friends for years - I wouldn't worry about that one - I've traveled miles to visit friends too. But, they are already established friends.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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