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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/17/2008 7:44:12 PM
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GodsMusic
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quote:
ORIGINAL: betterisoneday
We were visiting my grandfather's church once when I was young (liberal Presbyterian) and the minister was talking about Christ's response to His parents when they found Him in the temple. The minister said that Jesus was being a bratty, sassing 12 year old and disrespecting His parents.
I heard Joyce Meyers say pretty much the same thing once. She said that Jesus was getting ahead of the Father when he stayed at the temple discussing the Word.
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/17/2008 9:30:14 PM
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iluvatar
Posts: 2031
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The pastor got to speaking about the dangers of alcohol (I don't think this was the crux of the message, it may have been a tangent) and said that he understands that we have certain freedoms and that the Biblical mandate was not to teetotal but to be responsible, but then went on to basically go right against his disclaimer and say how we shouldn't drink at all. To compound it, it was obvious (and completely understandable) that his feelings were colored by the fact that when he was a teenager, his father had been killed by a drunk driver.
Certainly not the worst sermon, but it was a bit... I'm not even sure of the right word. 'Sad' and 'awkward' don't really seem adequate. I felt bad for him.
On a lighter note, during another sermon by this same pastor, somebody's cell phone started ringing. Usually the person w/ the phone turns it off immediately and everybody just carries on, but this phone kept ringing. Turns out the pastor had left his phone in the piano bench. 
-Dan.
_____________________________
Well, I've been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones.
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/18/2008 12:34:57 PM
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SpongeBlog
Posts: 937
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
I heard a pastor preach once about the passage that says that a man cannot serve two masters, and that you cannot love God and Mammon. He said that Mammon was the name of the demon of money. 
Actually, there may be more truth to this than we think. I came to the conclusion years ago that money is the 'god of this age' that Paul talks about. Add these scriptures to the passage about God and mammon:
"4The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God." (2 Cor. 4:4)
"Do not accept a bribe, for a bribe blinds those who see and twists the words of the righteous." (Exodus 23:8)
"22When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. 23Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matt. 19:22-23)
The 'love of money' seems to be the underlying force and motivation of fallen man, and perhaps the biggest obstacle to surrendering to Christ. Afterall, Solomon did say 'money is the answer to everything' in Ecclessiastes (it even buys love, contrary to what some say). Only a genuine faith can surrender up the 'answer to everything' to trust Christ. A true work of God that cannot be faked.
Now I don't know if there is a specific demon, besides evil in general, that empowers the love of money, but I'd be curious to know where that belief comes from. I hope nobody adds this to their list of worst sermons ever heard, lol.
_____________________________
"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men." (Romans 14:17,18)
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/18/2008 4:35:41 PM
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ot4christ
Posts: 185
Joined: 8/29/2008
From: Beside the Smoky Mountains
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In the words of a previous post, “Where do I start?”
I once heard a preacher speak of the woman who poured oil on Jesus’ feet and wept and kissed His feet and wiped the tears off His feet with her hair (Luke 7:37) He then takes us to the “other” reference to this story in Matthew 26:6. Both include Simon and both include alabaster flasks of oil. However, one of the Simons is a leper, the other is a Pharisee. One women anoints Jesus’ head, the other His feet. I felt bad for the preacher as he stumbled through this discrepancy.
The strangest “slip” of all was when a teacher was reading a list of the spiritual gifts and ministries from 1 Corinthians 12 and he somehow included “workers of iniquity” among them. Don't remember exactly, but it went something like this: “To one is given gifts of healing, to another the word of knowledge, to another the workers of iniquity, to another prophesy…” I am pretty sure he meant “working of miracles.” I didn’t tell him because I didn’t want to ruin his day! Besides, from the looks on people’s faces, it appeared that I was the only one who noticed.
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/19/2008 4:37:04 PM
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10SNE1?
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My husband and I met in high school. He was raised in a fairly strict Holiness denomination while I was a "liberal United Methodist" who brazenly attended movie theaters. My sweetie had just recently shocked me by relating how teenagers in his church would often get called into the pastor's office ( with their parents) after being seen going into a movie. Since this was so far removed from my experience, you can imagine how this sermon sticks in my mind:
It was the late 1970s and cable TV was just making it to our rural area. I went to church with my boyfriend and his family only to sit though an entire sermon on how " just because those filthy motion pictures are being played on your TV ( the local cable company was carrying HBO) does not change the fact that no member of this church better be watching them!"
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/19/2008 7:09:52 PM
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1love1God1way
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I heard one girl preach a sermon. . . I no idea what the sermon was about, but she kept talking about this dream she had about a golden volleyball court, and how we all have to find our own golden volleyball court. It was . . .yeah . . .
Tony Campolo gave one of the worst that I have heard. I wanted to get up and leave, but I just had to know what other craziness he would spew out. He said that he "zapped" the Holy Spirit into someone by laying his head on their shoulder, and went on to talk about how this was why we should physically touch the lost. Then, somehow, he transitioned into how America is Babylon, and if you don't believe that, then you aren't actually a Christian.
A friend of mine once preached a sermon, and instead of saying "Gentiles" he kept saying "genitals." I really don't remember what the sermon was about -- I was laughing too hard.
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love.ben
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/19/2008 8:17:31 PM
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themoodyexperience
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 1love1God1way
I heard one girl preach a sermon. . . I no idea what the sermon was about, but she kept talking about this dream she had about a golden volleyball court, and how we all have to find our own golden volleyball court. It was . . .yeah . . .
Gold teeth, gold volleyball courts....don't these weirdos know platinum is more valuable? Aim high, I say.
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/19/2008 8:25:49 PM
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FurGodWurLivin
Posts: 833
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quote:
Here is a good one; oh brother Copeland said that Shem was Melchizedek king of Salem. I don't know where he got those thoughts from. But I thought in the scriptures that it is written "without father and mother, without genealogy, without beginning of days or end of life, like the Son of God he remains a priest forever". Uhm... Let us remember that the Melchizadek of Genesis is actually a man. The phrase quoted from Hebrews is referring to the fact that the record of Melchizadek's line are not found in the Torah and did not survive the Hebrews invading the country. The specific phrase is used to show how Christ is the King of Righteousness and the King of Peace. A bit of a nitpick... but Melchizadek in Genesis was a real human being.
Adam
_____________________________
I am hyena, Jesus is my Mufasa...
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/19/2008 8:46:44 PM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 5151
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quote:
I heard one girl preach a sermon. . . I no idea what the sermon was about, but she kept talking about this dream she had about a golden volleyball court, and how we all have to find our own golden volleyball court. It was . . .yeah . . .
ROFLOL! I've heard similar strange sermons, usually impromptu ones from teenagers who managed to get the microphone for one reason or another. One kid I remember sharing about a missions trip experience went on so long the youth pastor actually had to come and take the mic away because he wasn't going to stop talking otherwise.
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Bonky
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/20/2008 1:09:47 AM
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Zhi
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When we moved to the last town we lived in, we were church hunting. My husband and his brother went to a Wednesday night service while their mother and I stayed home (I had just had a baby 2 weeks previous and then moved that day, so I was basically incapable of standing upright at that point and hadn't slept in a few days...)
So they came home to tell us about the sermon, which was on a passage in Jeremiah in which Jeremiah gets frustrated and prays for God to smite people. So, the pastor went on for the hour about how sometimes you need to stop praying for people, and pray for God to smite them. There was a caveat... you should ALWAYS pray for widows and orphans.
... "Of the people you had smited?" I asked.
Needless to say we found a different church...
_____________________________
The optimist says the glass is half full. The pessimist says the glass is half empty. The engineer says the glass is twice as large as it needs to be.
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/20/2008 1:35:49 AM
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benelchi
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Zhi
When we moved to the last town we lived in, we were church hunting. My husband and his brother went to a Wednesday night service while their mother and I stayed home (I had just had a baby 2 weeks previous and then moved that day, so I was basically incapable of standing upright at that point and hadn't slept in a few days...)
So they came home to tell us about the sermon, which was on a passage in Jeremiah in which Jeremiah gets frustrated and prays for God to smite people. So, the pastor went on for the hour about how sometimes you need to stop praying for people, and pray for God to smite them. There was a caveat... you should ALWAYS pray for widows and orphans.
... "Of the people you had smited?" I asked.
Needless to say we found a different church...
That reminded me of a sermon preached at a church I had attended years ago. The church got a new pastor who I was immediately uneasy with, and after trying to deal with the issues that were arising I ended up leaving the church. Over the intervening years, things continued to spiral downward with more and more confronting the pastor and then leaving the church when issues were not address. About 6 months before he was finally asked to leave, he gave a sermon that was about how at his previous church people from the congregation had opposed him and God had struck some of them dead, and those that were opposing him now had better be warned that God might strike them dead as well if they continued to oppose him. A friend of mine (still attending the church) asked for my opinion on the sermon after giving me a copy to listen too, and even I was shocked at the utter arrogance of this man. He really seemed to believe that God was his personal "hit man."
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/20/2008 8:02:32 AM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 5151
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Wow.
Zhi, I nearly choked on my pizza when I read the line about the widows and the orphans!
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Bonky
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/20/2008 1:09:21 PM
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DaveW
Posts: 4166
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The church I attended in HS had a preacher that was a "good ole' boy." He did not have formal education. One time he preached a sermon based on this passage in James:
Jam 4:2 Ye lust, and have not:ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.
Jam 4:3 Ye ask and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.
He focused on the bold phrase and explained he should have been asking his Mrs. and not some miss.
That was the sum of the whole sermon. He went on for at least 40 minutes.
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Avatar is DW holding Saphira at her first birthday party and myself holding Louvena at 30 months!
We are now grandparents TWICE!!
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/20/2008 1:15:14 PM
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DaveW
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quote:
ORIGINAL: FurGodWurLivinquote:
Here is a good one; oh brother Copeland said that Shem was Melchizedek king of Salem. I don't know where he got those thoughts from. But I thought in the scriptures that it is written "without father and mother, without genealogy, without beginning of days or end of life, like the Son of God he remains a priest forever". Uhm... Let us remember that the Melchizadek of Genesis is actually a man. The phrase quoted from Hebrews is referring to the fact that the record of Melchizadek's line are not found in the Torah and did not survive the Hebrews invading the country. The specific phrase is used to show how Christ is the King of Righteousness and the King of Peace. A bit of a nitpick... but Melchizadek in Genesis was a real human being. I heard the 'shem' thing before Copeland et al used it. Many biblical scholars believe Melchisedek was a "theophany" or Christophany," a pre-incarnation visit of Jesus to earth. (also the first angel that visited Abraham and Sarah along with the 2 that destroyed Sodom, the angel that wrestled Jacob, the warrior who addressed Joshua, etc.)
_____________________________
Avatar is DW holding Saphira at her first birthday party and myself holding Louvena at 30 months!
We are now grandparents TWICE!!
====================================
Our CD is now available here:
http://cdbaby.com/cd/dswaggoner
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/20/2008 1:54:58 PM
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Lapidoth
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I've heard some pretty lame sermons,
but, I think I have yet to hear the worst sermon.
TBN keeps cranking them out. lol.
_____________________________
Why does He keep quoting Torah? Doesn't He know He's about to abolish it?
http://www.tedpearce.com/Videos/TheForgottenpeople.html
BARUCH HABA BASHEM YAHUAH
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/20/2008 2:40:30 PM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 5151
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quote:
He focused on the bold phrase and explained he should have been asking his Mrs. and not some miss.
That was the sum of the whole sermon. He went on for at least 40 minutes.
Lol! Oh, my goodness! I think some people need to go to school before they start preaching.
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Bonky
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/20/2008 10:14:32 PM
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Ps103
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I hate to say this, because he was a sweet old man and very sincere.
A great-uncle of mine died, and he had promised his best friend that he could preach his funeral. The man had always wanted to be a preacher, and Lee (my great-uncle) figured he could give him one last gift. None of us had any objections, so when he told us about the promise, we said "sure!"
Bless his heart, it wasn't as if we were a normal family, anyway. We're not dangerous, but we are strange, and despite the Irish in us, we are not much for keening, which he seemed to expect. And, as a family, we run the gamut of denominations, from old hard-shell Baptists, to Church of Christ, to Methodists, to Episcopalians to Catholics, which was something else he didn't seem to know.
So the poor man--unknown to the family except for the dearly departed--got his one shot at preaching with a very strange audience. He did put his heart into it, but it was clear he had not been blessed with the gift of preaching, rather the gift of monotone rambling with a whistling "s" thrown in for good measure. A half and hour into it, I started feeling very sorry for him. Two hours into it, my behinder fell asleep and that was all I could think of. I tried very hard to follow what he was saying, but it was impossible.
He did intend for it to be a hellfire-and-brimstone type of sermon that would send people running down the aisle for the altar call he had at the end--except that a good two-thirds of us were unfamiliar with altar calls, and most of the ones that knew what they were were almost violently opposed to the idea that one could make such a decision anyway.
He meant well, I know he did. And he certainly tried. But it was very apparent that God had given him a job at General Mills rather than giving him his dream of being a preacher for a good reason.
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Fasten your seatbelts...it's going to be a bumpy night.
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/22/2008 10:14:54 AM
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mcleod
Posts: 1068
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quote:
ORIGINAL: FurGodWurLivin
quote:
Here is a good one; oh brother Copeland said that Shem was Melchizedek king of Salem. I don't know where he got those thoughts from. But I thought in the scriptures that it is written "without father and mother, without genealogy, without beginning of days or end of life, like the Son of God he remains a priest forever". Uhm... Let us remember that the Melchizadek of Genesis is actually a man. The phrase quoted from Hebrews is referring to the fact that the record of Melchizadek's line are not found in the Torah and did not survive the Hebrews invading the country. The specific phrase is used to show how Christ is the King of Righteousness and the King of Peace. A bit of a nitpick... but Melchizadek in Genesis was a real human being.
Adam
Adam, but Noah's son Shem? Hewas saying somthing that is as always not in the bible. Unless he found a book like the history channel did and stretched it to fit the story.
Speaking of the History channel. They had on last Sunday I believe the lost books of the bible. They started off with Jesus doing a demon removal story and trying to put the story with a book found with Solomon as the author according to them. The problem with that they took the story and removed some of the words that are found in Luke11.
Like they said that it was written The Queen of the South came to Solomon and now one greater than Solomon is here. Skipping the middle part of what Jesus said.
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/22/2008 8:51:54 PM
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Covaan_Meshuga
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Ps103 reminded me of a horrible, awful funeral. This funeral was for a very sweet, well-liked very young man who was a believer and left behind a very young wife and little children, and those preachers used the funeral for an absolute soap box and show case. I was pretty upset about 1/3 of the way through the 3-hour funeral, when I realized that there was a lot more to go.
Having lost my first husband, who was also a young father, suddenly in an accident, it made me want to go up and tell thost crazy preachers it was time to stop with the showcasing and let the poor young widow go home.
I don't think she attends there anymore.
Also irritating was the youngish woman who sat in front of me, nodding her head at the preachers like a bobblehead doll.
_____________________________
Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/24/2008 12:02:42 PM
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Angie_K
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Luke 5:1-7
Kenneth Copeland explained that the reason the net broke was because Peter had already washed up all his good nets, so Peter not wanting to wash his nets again threw a rotten one over the side, just to appease Jesus, and that was the reason his net broke... because it was rotten.
I can't really remember if KC had a reason for the other ships almost sinking for all the fish, but maybe they were rotten too.
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/24/2008 12:14:05 PM
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Lapidoth
Posts: 3471
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: OKLAHOMA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Angie_K
Luke 5:1-7
Kenneth Copeland explained that the reason the net broke was because Peter had already washed up all his good nets, so Peter not wanting to wash his nets again threw a rotten one over the side, just to appease Jesus, and that was the reason his net broke... because it was rotten.
I can't really remember if KC had a reason for the other ships almost sinking for all the fish, but maybe they were rotten too.
I remember that one too.
_____________________________
Why does He keep quoting Torah? Doesn't He know He's about to abolish it?
http://www.tedpearce.com/Videos/TheForgottenpeople.html
BARUCH HABA BASHEM YAHUAH
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