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What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/15/2008 5:48:28 PM
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Consecrated2God
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Tell about that sermon that was so poorly researched you felt embarrased for the preacher. Or the one with the glaring grammar mistake right in the title. Tell us about the one that was based on one translation of the Bible that the preacher took on a rabbit trail...that said something entirely different in every other translation. Talk about the strangest heresy you've ever heard preached.
Try and keep it light, though--and no debates. Also, please don't name the preachers--let's try and keep this light and respectful towards our pastors. :)
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Bonky
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/15/2008 6:00:06 PM
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Consecrated2God
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I'll start.
1. One pastor preached a sermon about Elisha, and this verse: quote:
2Ki 6:15 When the servant of the man of God got up early and went out, he discovered an army with horses and chariots surrounding the city. So he asked Elisha, "Oh, my master, what are we to do?"
The pastor preached that the servant had great faith, that he was not asking this question from fear or doubt, but in andticipation of what God would do. The translation that we had in our Bible on our laps said, "Alas, my master" instead of "Oh, my master", which didn't make any sense with the point he was trying to make.
2. Another pastor preached once about "How Great That God Is." (How great what God is?)
3. My favorite is one my husband heard about in school, but we didn't hear ourselves. A student preached this verse in homiletics class: quote:
Jam 3:3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well.
Not knowing what a bit was, he preached that this verse meant that we put a little bit of food in the mouth of the horse so they would follow us. 
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Bonky
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/15/2008 6:40:17 PM
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earthless
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Where to even begin............................
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Probing Today's Religious Movements | Promoting Doctrinal Discernment & Critical Thinking | Providing Reasons for Christian Faith & Ethics
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/15/2008 7:26:21 PM
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FurGodWurLivin
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... pretty much anything I heard preached south of the Mason-Dixon line...
In a more Down-to-Earth note, I heard a Baptist preacher give an end-times sermon where he said he wanted to avoid the books of Revelation and Daniel because Daniel was written in the second century BC and Revelation was all about the fall of Jerusalem in AD 70... I wanted to walk out so badly...
Adam
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I am hyena, Jesus is my Mufasa...
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/15/2008 9:31:08 PM
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colliefan
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one growing up in the South where the pastor used the bible to "explain" how blacks were under the curse of Ham.
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/15/2008 10:46:26 PM
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SpongeBlog
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quote:
ORIGINAL: colliefan
one growing up in the South where the pastor used the bible to "explain" how blacks were under the curse of Ham.
Baked or smoked?
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"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men." (Romans 14:17,18)
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/15/2008 10:56:29 PM
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MrFribbles
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I once heard a preacher speaking on Isaiah 6, the classic "Call of Isaiah" passage. The whole message was pretty, well, not terrible, but took huge liberties with the text. My favorite part, though, was their interpretation of verse 1a, that since it was only after King Uzziah died that Isaiah began his ministry, then the "King Uzziah" in our lives have to die before we can start serving God too! He was equating the person of King Uzziah with our bad habits.
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You're a door without a key,
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You've made a holy fool of me,
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- Aaron Weiss
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/15/2008 11:40:11 PM
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ffbruce
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quote:
ORIGINAL: colliefan
one growing up in the South where the pastor used the bible to "explain" how blacks were under the curse of Ham.
Mmmmmmmm.... Ham.
No wait, I'm thinking something else. 
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/15/2008 11:59:33 PM
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dwtramm
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I didn't actually hear this sermon, I read about somewhere many years ago. A preacher preached a sermon entitled, "The seven woes of revelation." He then had this wonderful exposition. "When you ride a horse and you want it to stop you say, 'woe.' So woe means, 'stop.' So we should, 'stop drinking, stop cussing, stop going to movies, etc..."
All yes, how I miss West Texas Old Time Pentecostal services.....Not!!
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/16/2008 7:23:27 AM
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Consecrated2God
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quote:
I didn't actually hear this sermon, I read about somewhere many years ago. A preacher preached a sermon entitled, "The seven woes of revelation." He then had this wonderful exposition. "When you ride a horse and you want it to stop you say, 'woe.' So woe means, 'stop.' So we should, 'stop drinking, stop cussing, stop going to movies, etc..."
ROFLOL! Oh, that's funny.
I heard a sermon once where the pastor went on and on about how we need to be transfused with Jesus. I sat there, puzzled the whole time, pretty sure I knew what he was trying to say but not altogether sure, and wondering if "transfused" was really the word he was wanting to use.
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Bonky
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/16/2008 7:48:25 AM
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dwtramm
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I was raised in clothesline religion, so there are many a sermon I've forgotten about, but a few are coming back to my mind.
As a teenager I remember hearing a preacher preach from the passage, "I bear in my body the marks of Christ."
Well, according to this preacher this meant that women shouldn't wear makeup and men shouldn't wear shorts in public, etc...
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/16/2008 9:18:39 AM
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SpongeBlog
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dwtramm
...and men shouldn't wear shorts in public, etc...
Add black socks to that and you have nothing short of blasphemy......pure, unforgivable blasphemy.
_____________________________
"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men." (Romans 14:17,18)
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/16/2008 9:25:40 AM
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SpongeBlog
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dwtramm
...clothesline religion...
Huh? Wutz that all about?
_____________________________
"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men." (Romans 14:17,18)
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/16/2008 10:00:03 AM
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tafkam
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At one of the popular (at the time) anti-rock music crusades of the 1980's, a pastor confused the song title of Blue Oyster Cult's "Don't Fear The Reaper". He referrred to it as "Don't Fear The Reefer" and said it was a pro-drug song......
Likewise, we have a popular evangelist who shares at our church quite often, an evangelist with a disability. I had heard such great things about him but when I finally heard him preach, he basically berated anybody who dared discuss their own trials by saying "I've got (this disability), and I'm not upset, so what's your excuse?" That was literally his whole sermon. As though his personal level of suffering and discomfort was far and away worse than anybody else's.
On the day each year he preaches at our church, we attend elsewhere...
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"The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.' - Ronald Reagan
Tafkam
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/16/2008 10:26:52 AM
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rcjames
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Two examples; The first and only sermon I ever listened to by Benny Hinn; he was talking and giving examples of the Israelites crossing the Red Sea. He talked for a long time about how they were dragging themselves through the mud and crud, and many of them being stuck in the mud.
Of course Scriptre says;
(Exo 14:22) And the children of Israel went into the midst of the sea upon the dry ground: and the waters were a wall unto them on their right hand, and on their left.
I do not believe Mr. Hinn had ever read the passage.
Another time my wife and I were traveling and stopped on Wed. night at a Church that was having services.
A visiting missionary was delivering the message and he told about how God killed their two year old child to force them to go to the mission field. I don't know what else he said; because we left.
Thanks
RC
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Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/16/2008 11:57:38 AM
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mcleod
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Here is a good one; oh brother Copeland said that Shem was Melchizedek king of Salem. I don't know where he got those thoughts from. But I thought in the scriptures that it is written "without father and mother, without genealogy, without beginning of days or end of life, like the Son of God he remains a priest forever".
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/16/2008 4:58:29 PM
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tony.nz
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The worst I have personally heard was during a visit by one of those supposedly end times "Apostles", who preached from the following scripture
1 thess 2:13 For this cause also thank we God without ceasing, because, when ye received the word of God which ye heard of us, ye received it not as the word of men, but as it is in truth, the word of God, which effectually worketh also in you that believe.
And suggested that in the same manner that those who heard the words of the original apostle and took them as the words of God, that we too would take the words that he brought as "as they really are, the words of God".
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/16/2008 5:18:13 PM
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rcjames
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tony.nz
The worst I have personally heard was during a visit by one of those supposedly end times "Apostles", who preached from the following scripture
1 thess 2:13 For this cause also thank we God without ceasing, because, when ye received the word of God which ye heard of us, ye received it not as the word of men, but as it is in truth, the word of God, which effectually worketh also in you that believe.
And suggested that in the same manner that those who heard the words of the original apostle and took them as the words of God, that we too would take the words that he brought as "as they really are, the words of God".
Ah-ha, one of those "Touch not the Anointed" folks.
Run Forrest Run.
Thanks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: What was the worst sermon you've ever heard? - 10/17/2008 10:04:36 AM
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betterisoneday
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We were visiting my grandfather's church once when I was young (liberal Presbyterian) and the minister was talking about Christ's response to His parents when they found Him in the temple. The minister said that Jesus was being a bratty, sassing 12 year old and disrespecting His parents.
In one of the churches I visited earlier this year, the preacher (he wasn't the regular one though) said that no one should homeschool because mothers already had too much to do.
At a church my family attended when I was 18 the music leader only liked praise/worship music and told my dad that just for also liking hymns, he (my dad, who hadn't even asked if they would consider adding a few hymns) would never be able to have an intimate relationship with G-d.
Another church I tried this past spring the preacher got a bit excited telling people to leave their sinful lives and said that Peter never went fishing again after Christ called him to follow Him.
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