When you don't want to do it (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Faith] >> General Faith >> FaithWalk - Protestants Only



Message

ta_mosquito -> When you don't want to do it (10/12/2008 9:00:08 PM)

Picture yourself in a smallish congregation. You have been a Christian for years, and you pretty much know yourself (giftings, what you're good at, what you enjoy and don't enjoy).

Someone asks you to do something you would not enjoy. If you do this thing, there's a good possibility you'd be asked to do it again (and again... and again...) in the future. You don't consider yourself gifted in this area. And, you VERY MUCH dislike doing this type of activity.

You are the first person they asked. This activity MUST be done.

Do you agree to do it because there's a need? Or do you say, "No, thanks"?



sisrev -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/12/2008 9:27:38 PM)

Just Say No!

I have heard "Find a need & fill it" so many times--sometimes we fill our lives up so much with "busy-ness", that we are unable to be about our Father's business when He does call us.



Liveloved -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/12/2008 9:35:04 PM)

quote:

Picture yourself in a smallish congregation. You have been a Christian for years, and you pretty much know yourself (giftings, what you're good at, what you enjoy and don't enjoy).

Someone asks you to do something you would not enjoy. If you do this thing, there's a good possibility you'd be asked to do it again (and again... and again...) in the future. You don't consider yourself gifted in this area. And, you VERY MUCH dislike doing this type of activity.

You are the first person they asked. This activity MUST be done.

Do you agree to do it because there's a need? Or do you say, "No, thanks"?


I understand your question, Tricia. But I also understand the difficulty because what person responds that their 'gifting' is cleaning toilets or equally disgusting/humbling labor? KWIM?

We have to do many things that are not a part of our 'gifting' IMO. But it is work that needs to be done.

Is there someone you know of in the congregation who is better suited to this kind of activity? Could you brainstorm with the person who asked you to her come up with some other names, suggestions? Is it something that could be explained as a 'one time task' or something that 'will be passed from person to person' and that no one person will be expected to repeat this service?

I'm just thinking outloud with ya, sister. I know it is hard. And since I don't know the specifics, I can't be any more specific in my suggestions. Anyway, let us know.[:)] LL



ta_mosquito -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/12/2008 10:15:29 PM)

quote:

But I also understand the difficulty because what person responds that their 'gifting' is cleaning toilets or equally disgusting/humbling labor? KWIM?


HA! I'd rather do that than this particular activity! [8D]

quote:

And since I don't know the specifics, I can't be any more specific in my suggestions.


It's a situation of mine that came up, and I'm going to say "no" to it. (In fact, I thought I already did, but the lady that asked me said, "I'll take that as a 'maybe'." [8|] LOL!) But I did mean for the thread to be more general than specific to MY situation. It's more of a "what would you do in this situation" than a "give me advice on what to do" thread. [;)]



SonInMe1 -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/12/2008 11:46:28 PM)

quote:

responds that their 'gifting' is cleaning toilets or equally disgusting/humbling labor?


I would say of the things I have done for the Lord that cleaning is probably the most enjoyable.

I can do it and no one sees it. No one notices what I have done. Its good work. There is visiable accomplishment.

When asked to do something at church a few things should be considered.

Giftings? Who cares. Its about the needs of people and how they are met.

To me, there CAN be a big difference between serving your church and serving God. You would think they are the same thing and mostly they are, but sometimes its not. Find out if the work gives glory to God, or to the group you belong to and pick the work that glorifies God.

Sometimes, choosing the work that is not something you would choose or are particularily gifted in, IS the best work to do. Nuttin like a little stretching.

If you already serve in other areas and feel this new service would be a burden, then do not do it. Its ok to say no. God, family and then church.

Pray. Ask God if this is His will.



OneJohn410 -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/12/2008 11:57:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ta_mosquito

Picture yourself in a smallish congregation. You have been a Christian for years, and you pretty much know yourself (giftings, what you're good at, what you enjoy and don't enjoy).

Someone asks you to do something you would not enjoy. If you do this thing, there's a good possibility you'd be asked to do it again (and again... and again...) in the future. You don't consider yourself gifted in this area. And, you VERY MUCH dislike doing this type of activity.

You are the first person they asked. This activity MUST be done.

Do you agree to do it because there's a need? Or do you say, "No, thanks"?

My answers are no and then to seek some discussion. I'd ask this person why I was thought of first to do this task, and I'd ask what other activities might also be undergoing, and who's working them. See if there's some room for a trade.



His_4_Ever -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/13/2008 12:15:21 AM)

Is it you're not good at doing what they asked of you or is it that takes you out of your comfort zone? If the reason is because it takes you out of your comfort zone, I would consider doing it. Often Christians get too comfortable with where they are at and become afraid to expand their horizons. I believe if the thought of it scares me, then it's probably a place I need go.



PureLight -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/13/2008 1:15:03 PM)

For childrens' church, I had to dress up as a big orange dog with a massive head and dance around until all the kids were ready to go to Hillsong Kids' Jesus is my Superhero.

Originally, I just wanted to see if the costume fit me.

I ended up having to do it.

Terrified but it got done and apparently it was the most entertaining one that anyone had ever done. No shame I have in a costume.

good golly i don't want to do it again. haha. but i keep on being asked.



rcjames -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/13/2008 1:26:57 PM)

If it is productive for the benefit of the Church as a whole or a part; I will do it (teaching, cleaning, singing, etc.)

I really just do not think we are supposed to do what we enjoy; I know that Christ did not do just what He enjoyed (Such as the Cross)..

Thanks
RC



Little_1 -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/13/2008 2:42:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ta_mosquito

......It's a situation of mine that came up, and I'm going to say "no" to it. (In fact, I thought I already did, but the lady that asked me said, "I'll take that as a 'maybe'." [8|] LOL!) But I did mean for the thread to be more general than specific to MY situation. It's more of a "what would you do in this situation" than a "give me advice on what to do" thread. [;)]


Is this something she perhaps does not want to do herself? [;)] [naughty Little_1] [:D]

Seriously, what would I do in this kind of situation? I would ask her "why?" she thought I would be the best person for the task and thank her for considering me (even if the thought scares me). I would consider her answer and in the meantime, I would ask for a little time to pray about the request before deciding on a definite 'yes' or 'no'. I would not rush into this either way but seek God's direction first. I would pray, spend time in the Word and ask other Christians from my church who know me well what they discern about this. Can they see me in this position of trust, etc?

It may be that God wants to get me out of my 'comfort zone' for a reason and therefore may want me to accept this 'opportunity' but there again, this may not be His will at all! From my own personal experience, when God has wanted me to take on some service within the church, He has also stirred me a little about it beforehand and then when the question comes, I am not overly surprised. He has also usually confirmed His will via His Word, circumstances and other Christians.

Hope this helps.



musicboss11 -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/13/2008 4:27:06 PM)

One thing I've had to learn the hard way is that the need is not the call. Just because there is a need somewhere does not mean that I'm the one called to fill that need. If I'm a square peg, and the need is for a round peg It's not going to work, and I"m going to get splinters from trying. By trying to fill a role that I'm not called to fill I'm also robbing someone else of filling their calling.



Walker311 -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/13/2008 5:17:03 PM)

I say no and always feel a certain amount of guilt(cause I'm sensitive[8D]) but remind myself that it will fade in time and... it always does!



ta_mosquito -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/13/2008 5:44:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Little_1

Is this something she perhaps does not want to do herself? [;)] [naughty Little_1] [:D]


LOL! In MY particular case, she's supposed to do it but must be out of town that day, so she can't.



1love1God1way -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/14/2008 3:36:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rcjames



I really just do not think we are supposed to do what we enjoy



Enjoy, no?

But we should definitely focus the brunt of our energy on things we are great at. That is where we are most productive. If we are constantly filling our time with things we are not good at, then we are less effective than someone else could be in that role, plus, it takes away time from what we truly excel in.

This isn't to say we never do things we aren't as skilled in, nor do we never stretch ourselves, but I think that more often than not, we need to play to our strengths, not our weaknesses.



growingseed -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/14/2008 7:43:07 AM)

Service of any kind for the body or church, is the out flow of what the Lord teaches us to do. When you do the least of these to whomever then you have done it until the son of man. There is a problem with us in that we chose what will honor the Lord as oppose to what he really wants you to do. We don't get to pick in the service of the Lord like we do when we buy something, if the Lord places it in front of you, what's the problem? When did it become a choice how to serve the Lord?



1love1God1way -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/14/2008 5:01:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: growingseed

Service of any kind for the body or church, is the out flow of what the Lord teaches us to do. When you do the least of these to whomever then you have done it until the son of man. There is a problem with us in that we chose what will honor the Lord as oppose to what he really wants you to do. We don't get to pick in the service of the Lord like we do when we buy something, if the Lord places it in front of you, what's the problem? When did it become a choice how to serve the Lord?


Because the Lord gave us all our giftings unique and separate and to be used for His Glory as they are given.

There may be an opening for a worship leader, but it doesn't mean I should take it and serve just because it's in front of me. It is NOT my gifting, and that would be ineffective serving.



Liveloved -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/14/2008 5:40:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: growingseed

Service of any kind for the body or church, is the out flow of what the Lord teaches us to do. When you do the least of these to whomever then you have done it until the son of man. There is a problem with us in that we chose what will honor the Lord as oppose to what he really wants you to do. We don't get to pick in the service of the Lord like we do when we buy something, if the Lord places it in front of you, what's the problem? When did it become a choice how to serve the Lord?


I agree, growingseed. Our picking and choosing is more of the self focused 'ME' that is dominating the spiritual life these days. It is to understand all of scripture in light of 'me' rather than Christ.

This is why we must die to self to know Him. Otherwise self blocks our view and we see and interpret all through the filter of ME instead of seeing and hearing through Christ Himself. This is at the core of knowing about Him yet not knowing Him.

BTW, these thoughts aren't directed at any one in particular but to the subject in general.



armydude -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/14/2008 5:50:16 PM)

If you are not gifted in a certain area, trying to serve there is usually a recipe for disaster. JMHO.



makarizo -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/14/2008 9:11:46 PM)

when the pastor at a church I attended a few years ago found out that I could play the piano, he asked me to play on a regular basis.
I reeeeeeaaaalllly didn't want to, but he was so insistent about it - pushy, ..... it wasn't a request, he told me I was playing.
I did that for a little more than 3 months. I dreaded it, I wanted to puke every time someone told me how blessed they were to hear my playing.

if I could go back, I would say "no" firmly, not wishywashy, not harsh, just "no"



Lady_Daffodil -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/28/2008 12:26:59 PM)

Some people have a very hard time saying no. I am definitely not one of those people. I would definitely say "No thanks". If there is something that, even though I don't totally LOVE it, I don't mind doing it once in a while, that's OK. But I simply WILL NOT get sucked into doing something I hate. God wants us to do things cheerfully, and how can we be cheerful doing something if doing it is making us miserable? [:o]



raivyne -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/28/2008 1:12:30 PM)

I would try to suggest someone who was suited for the activity instead. If no one was found, then I would do it until a suitable person was found on the condition that they continue to actively find someone.

That's the downside of being one who always "does", sometimes others don't even bother trying to find others who will.



pstrdebi -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/28/2008 3:49:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ta_mosquito

You are the first person they asked. This activity MUST be done.

Do you agree to do it because there's a need? Or do you say, "No, thanks"?


If it is a "one time... there's no-one else" deal... then maybe.

If it's a "one time... there could be others" deal... then no... not if I know this is not my gifting.

God expects us to do things to excellence... because He is excellent, we are to yearn and strive to be like Him.

Here is an example: I worked AV in the sound room for years. I loved it and still love it, but it is not where God has me at this point in my life. When people learn that I have done this... they ask me to do all kinds of projects. So if this happened today, i would tell the person asking, "no... but I will train someone, if you find that willing and teachable person."

Another thing is... God takes us through levels in life. Have you ever taken a Spiritual Gifts test, and then go back and take it a few years later? It changes... because you change (as long as you are allowing God to do a work in you [8|]). Years and years ago, I taught childrens church and pre-schoolers and so on and so forth... But today...although I love those little critters... I'm not so sure I have the stamina and the patience for 30 to 60 5 year olds [sm=hammerhead.gif][sm=icon_smile_faint.gif][sm=smile-l.gif][sm=widecry.gif][sm=aside.gif]

"Just say NO"
[:D]



ta_mosquito -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/28/2008 5:04:43 PM)

As an update, I did say "no" in a roundabout way, but she didn't really hear it. So then I said "no" more directly and forcefully. So now she knows. [8D]

There is the possibility that she won't be able to find anyone else to do it, at which time she'll call me up and beg. I don't know what I'll do if she does. I am not at all happy in this area of service, even if she thinks I'm good at it. (The other times, I haven't been the one responsible; I've been a helper or have had others be responsible while I led a portion.) And if I say "yes" this time, that WILL open the door for the expectation that I'll say "yes" in other "emergencies." [&:]

So, for now I'm resting on my "no" and not trying to worry about if I get that phone call later in the week...



stampinlady -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/29/2008 2:59:25 PM)

quote:

If it is a "one time... there's no-one else" deal... then maybe.

If it's a "one time... there could be others" deal... then no... not if I know this is not my gifting.

God expects us to do things to excellence... because He is excellent, we are to yearn and strive to be like Him.


I like this answer. I've always thought that if you say yes all of the time you could be hindering someone, who's gifted at it but not too sure of themselves, to fill the postition.



Lady_Daffodil -> RE: When you don't want to do it (10/29/2008 6:12:32 PM)

quote:

If it is a "one time... there's no-one else" deal... then maybe.


Yeah, I could handle that. [;)]



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>



Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition 2.5 ANSI