Baby's Death-God's Choice

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DuckTalk -> Baby's Death-God's Choice (10/9/2008 6:31:08 PM)
I am at a loss. I consider myself an aging faithful Christian & have accepted life as it is, both the good & the bad & remained a faithful servant. I have endured many traumatic events, deaths, crimes, injustices, etc..., but I have never, ever, in all of my life felt the heartache that I feel today for a coworker whose baby girl died last night of SIDs. I have never in all of my life, witnessed anything so painful. Not even my own mother’s sudden death or my dad’s very slow, agonizing death. To watch a hysterical mother hand her limp baby over to the EMTs & then to sit in an emergency room for an hour only to witness the grandparents going through the grueling process of being told the baby was gone, was horrendous, to say the least. She was their only child, 4-months old & now I can’t for the life of me stop the visions that keep popping in my head of those parents waking up at feeding times & their baby is not going to be there. Of them being out somewhere & a couple walks by with a baby the same age. Those parents all but worshipped that baby girl. The worst is ahead of them. [sm=popsigh.gif] I don’t remember my heart ever being so wrenched, ever.[:(] This is where sometimes even the most faithful will stop & ask God why & not understand......never getting an answer.......just being forced to accept it. [:@]

small_creation -> RE: Baby's Death-God's Choice (10/9/2008 6:45:27 PM)
I'm so sorry. This loss will be felt in many circles, in and out of the family. Although it's never happened to me, I have experienced something similar in a friendship. It just doesn't seem right, I know. But in the end, God's plan will be fulfilled, and we can find some sort of solace in that. But please, for the mercy to the family, please do not tell them that this was God's choice. They will hopefully profess this in their lives, now or later, and sometimes it takes awhile to get over the anger. My prayers are with the family...and you. j

Walker311 -> RE: Baby's Death-God's Choice (10/9/2008 7:00:42 PM)
These situations have a profound affect on those left behind. As hard as it is to admit or understand, God still has a reason and He is still glorified.

mvic -> RE: Baby's Death-God's Choice (10/9/2008 8:02:49 PM)
I am truly sorry to hear of the death of that child. I pray for you, the parents of the child and all involved in this situation. At times like this we all question why it happened. No matter how devout and religious we are; we all stop for a while and question God's motives. I believe it's the pain talking. It's the sudden hurt which makes us try to make sense of a bad situation. I also believe that God knows how we feel. He understands our heartache, our feelings of confusions, and sometimes perhaps our anger even. And in His infinite wisdom and compassion He will help us, in time, to overcome the hurt and heal the pain. We don't understand His motives right now. Yet somehow, we need to dig down deep into our reserves of Faith and accept His will for His purpose. I realise that what I've said may not help you much right now. So I'll continue praying for you and the baby's family. Please accept my sincerest condolences. God bless.

deermousie -> RE: Baby's Death-God's Choice (10/9/2008 8:05:34 PM)
When people are in intense grief, all they need from you is to know your heart is breaking, too. Cry with those who cry. Save the Bible verses for later when the grievers start regaining their sanity and start asking questions. God does hard stuff. Joseph was ripped out of his family, sold into slavery and then thrown in to prison while innocent. Jacob worked 7 years for a wife, was slipped one he didn't want, and was told he had to work another 7 years for the one he did want. Daniel was thrown to the lions because he prayed to God. King David had to run for his life when his son announced himself king. And that's after running for his life when Saul and the whole army was out to kill him. Tthat son had killed his brother and then was himself killed. God promised the sword would not depart from David's family - a curse. These aren't hangnail problems, but life and death. And God is there and brings great good from it. Sometimes we have to grab the foot of the cross with both hands so the hurricane doesn't blow us away. It ends well; it's just hard to see in the middle. May these people find comfort for their broken hearts. What a terrible loss.

bravjim -> RE: Baby's Death-God's Choice (10/9/2008 8:15:52 PM)
My heart goes out to you and to the family and friends. This is tragic to those who must live through it. I for one think that God allows things like this to draw people closer to Him. A question I must ask is if this family are people of faith. If so, pray that they respond properly and don't turn away from God, for this is surely a test. While this valley will be very difficult to move through, we know that God will be with them as they do go through, providing His love and comfort. My cousin went through the death of her child earlier this year, who was about 2 years old. Something to do with a defective heart valve. She responded in faith, and is recovering from the grieving process still. She is responding in faith, and I believe God will reward her for that faith. I am praying they will respond in faith as well.

Liveloved -> RE: Baby's Death-God's Choice (10/9/2008 10:58:32 PM)
Norak, These words are for you. . . not for the parents of this baby. I think of Corrie ten Boom who said she holds all things loosely as then it does not hurt so much when the Father takes them out of her hands. Those are words and a truth that are borne out of much experience, much trust, and great faith. We only get to the point of having that kind of faith by going through the hard, painful, losing experiences. I lost two babies in the womb. Each time the Lord showed me that this was His love to me. I know that is a hard truth to hear. I wanted to have those babies. But He had a different plan. And I believed Him. And I trusted Him with my future, my life, my all. Losing those babies was part of His bringing me to the place of living loved. I wouldn't trade this place for any other. I pray you will be able to help your dear young friend believe that God loves her and that her child is safe in the arms of Jesus. All that He does is love whether we understand it or not. All that He does is love. Bless you, LL

awed -> RE: Baby's Death-God's Choice (10/10/2008 10:34:50 PM)
Norak, you are doing the best thing you can do for your coworker. You are grieving with her. LISTEN to her, hug her, and pray for her. Absolutely do not say it was God's will! Or that He is testing. I speak from my own experience of losing 2 full term babies a year apart. I thank God to this day that He placed, especially this one friend who just seemed to instinctively know how to be for me what I needed at the moments I needed it, in my life. I will confess, I felt I needed to rethink God. Allow her to grieve. I have to say, you truly touched my heart at your deep acknowledgement of your friends painful, painful sorrow. She will sense that. quote: When people are in intense grief, all they need from you is to know your heart is breaking, too. Cry with those who cry. Save the Bible verses for later when the grievers start regaining their sanity and start asking questions. Deermousie, I totally agree with this. And Norak, it will mean more than you know to your friend, if a year from now you have remembered and acknowledged it to your friend. Thank you for sharing about your friend. I will definitely lift them in prayer.

URForgiven -> RE: Baby's Death-God's Choice (10/10/2008 11:53:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: norak I am at a loss. I consider myself an aging faithful Christian & have accepted life as it is, both the good & the bad & remained a faithful servant. I have endured many traumatic events, deaths, crimes, injustices, etc..., but I have never, ever, in all of my life felt the heartache that I feel today for a coworker whose baby girl died last night of SIDs. I have never in all of my life, witnessed anything so painful. Not even my own mother’s sudden death or my dad’s very slow, agonizing death. To watch a hysterical mother hand her limp baby over to the EMTs & then to sit in an emergency room for an hour only to witness the grandparents going through the grueling process of being told the baby was gone, was horrendous, to say the least. She was their only child, 4-months old & now I can’t for the life of me stop the visions that keep popping in my head of those parents waking up at feeding times & their baby is not going to be there. Of them being out somewhere & a couple walks by with a baby the same age. Those parents all but worshipped that baby girl. The worst is ahead of them. [sm=popsigh.gif] I don’t remember my heart ever being so wrenched, ever.[:(] This is where sometimes even the most faithful will stop & ask God why & not understand......never getting an answer.......just being forced to accept it. [:@] You may find comfort in what my dear brother in Christ, Gracebro, has written. I know it has brought comfort to me. May God bless you. It Is Well With My Soul Peace

chrisovery -> RE: Baby's Death-God's Choice (10/11/2008 9:06:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: norak I am at a loss. I consider myself an aging faithful Christian & have accepted life as it is, both the good & the bad & remained a faithful servant. I have endured many traumatic events, deaths, crimes, injustices, etc..., but I have never, ever, in all of my life felt the heartache that I feel today for a coworker whose baby girl died last night of SIDs. I have never in all of my life, witnessed anything so painful. Not even my own mother’s sudden death or my dad’s very slow, agonizing death. To watch a hysterical mother hand her limp baby over to the EMTs & then to sit in an emergency room for an hour only to witness the grandparents going through the grueling process of being told the baby was gone, was horrendous, to say the least. She was their only child, 4-months old & now I can’t for the life of me stop the visions that keep popping in my head of those parents waking up at feeding times & their baby is not going to be there. Of them being out somewhere & a couple walks by with a baby the same age. Those parents all but worshipped that baby girl. The worst is ahead of them. [sm=popsigh.gif] I don’t remember my heart ever being so wrenched, ever.[:(] This is where sometimes even the most faithful will stop & ask God why & not understand......never getting an answer.......just being forced to accept it. [:@] norak, these are very sad events. i honestly cant say how i would or would not act as far as the parents points of view. i have never lost a baby like that. you may not see gods hand or how it is for the good of anyone in the house as of yet. but i do not believe that if we ask god we are just forced to accept it. this has never been my experiance with god. he may not show me in that way that i think he should or the things that i think should have been of good or whatever. but he has always shown me that what he does is always for the better of those that love him. our faith is not in our hurt feeling and emotions our faith is aways in christ. the bad things that we see upon this earth is going to pass away and be no more.

rcjames -> RE: Baby's Death-God's Choice (10/11/2008 9:23:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: norak This is where sometimes even the most faithful will stop & ask God why & not understand......never getting an answer.......just being forced to accept it. [:@] These situations (unexpected death of a child) are the most difficult situations I can think of that one can go through. My heart felt condolences to all affected by this tragedy. There is an answer, it is that folks just do not want to accept it. We live in a fallen world and stuff happens, bad horrible devistating stuff happens; and will continue to happen until Christ returns. The error we make at times like this is to try to place the blame on God and withdraw from Him at the exact time we should be drawing more closely to Him. For only through the Grace of God can someone every have peace after a situation such as this. Thanks RC

awed -> RE: Baby's Death-God's Choice (10/11/2008 10:13:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rcjames The error we make at times like this is to try to place the blame on God and withdraw from Him at the exact time we should be drawing more closely to Him. For only through the Grace of God can someone every have peace after a situation such as this. Thanks RC Amen. In my post I had said I needed to rethink God. What I meant by that was that I truly moved from "yes I believe in Jesus, so I am covered" mentality to truly move towards understanding what loving Him truly meant. In my own personal situation, I didn't get "angry" at God. Not at all. 28 years later from losing my daughter, I am crying as I type, that I felt I had somehow failed in His eyes. But tears now, also include joy and peace at the journey He and I have traveled. Be patient with those who have lost.

terryjohn -> RE: Baby's Death-God's Choice (10/11/2008 3:43:22 PM)
We worship life instead of the giver of life. In cases such as this, we can either cuse God and die, or know for certain that God doesn't make mistakes! Life is after all not what it is all about, for their are many alive today that are simply not alive but are just dying. By all means weep with those who are weeping for such are the demands of love (Christ did and He could raise the dead), but faith should be stired to a passionate demand for righteousness and love. Life is short and we must all die, some sooner than later. Faith says 1Co 15:55 -"Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" It is well with my soul, for death is not the end for what lies beyond the grave gives this life so much meaning and death can only enflame our passion for life in Christ.

misty35 -> RE: Baby's Death-God's Choice (10/11/2008 5:17:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: norak I am at a loss. I consider myself an aging faithful Christian & have accepted life as it is, both the good & the bad & remained a faithful servant. I have endured many traumatic events, deaths, crimes, injustices, etc..., but I have never, ever, in all of my life felt the heartache that I feel today for a coworker whose baby girl died last night of SIDs. I have never in all of my life, witnessed anything so painful. Not even my own mother’s sudden death or my dad’s very slow, agonizing death. To watch a hysterical mother hand her limp baby over to the EMTs & then to sit in an emergency room for an hour only to witness the grandparents going through the grueling process of being told the baby was gone, was horrendous, to say the least. She was their only child, 4-months old & now I can’t for the life of me stop the visions that keep popping in my head of those parents waking up at feeding times & their baby is not going to be there. Of them being out somewhere & a couple walks by with a baby the same age. Those parents all but worshipped that baby girl. The worst is ahead of them. [sm=popsigh.gif] I don’t remember my heart ever being so wrenched, ever.[:(] This is where sometimes even the most faithful will stop & ask God why & not understand......never getting an answer.......just being forced to accept it. [:@] Norak, Im so sorry, and I just want you to know that you and that family are in my prayers. I pray that the Lord will strengthen them and bring peace to them in these times, and to you as well.

butterfly616 -> RE: Baby's Death-God's Choice (10/12/2008 11:47:21 AM)
My daughter was 29-years-old when she passed away. With one hand I clinched my fist at the Lord and asked "Why?!", with the other hand I reached out to Jesus and begged for His comfort. He took my outreached hand and has been with me through all the pain and grief. Now, three years later, I still don't understand the "why", but I know that the Lord carried me through my sorrow. He still does. I know that my daughter is not dead, she is alive with Jesus. "Because of his grace he declared us righteous and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life.” Titus 3:7

flyboy2610 -> RE: Baby's Death-God's Choice (10/12/2008 3:18:24 PM)
Dr. J. Vernon McGee used to tell this story: There is a story of sweetness and beauty which enlightens the heart of every parent who has lost a child. It concerns a custom among the shepherd folk of the Alps. In the summertime when the grass in the lower valleys withers and dries up, the shepherds seek to lead their sheep up a winding, thorny, and stony pathway to the high grazing lands. The sheep, reluctant to take the difficult pathway infested with dangers and hardships, turn back and will not follow. Finally a shepherd reaches into the flock and takes a little lamb and places it under his arm, then reaches in again and takes another lamb, placing it under the other arm. Then he starts up the precipitous pathway. Soon the mother sheep start to follow and afterward the entire flock. At last they ascend the tortuous trail to green pastures. "The Great Shepherd of the sheep, the Lord Jesus Christ, our Savior, has reached into the flock and He has picked up your lamb. He did not do it to rob you, but to lead you out and upward. He has richer and greener pastures for you, and He wants you to follow." God sometimes takes little lambs on ahead of us. It is the Shepherds choice as to who he takes. Let us pray that the parents follow to green pastures.

d4nnyb0y02 -> RE: Baby's Death-God's Choice (10/13/2008 1:47:53 PM)
quote: only child, 4-months old & now I can’t for the life of me stop the visions that keep popping in my head of those parents waking up at feeding How many children has the Father lost to death due to our sin, and our pride? Now perhaps we share in His pain, in the fellowship of suffering... God is good all the time. How do you comfort someone with anything but the truth? I find it difficult... but God's Word is there for a reason... it is His Word, it is final, and it is absolute. He gives and takes away, all is His. Blessed be the name of the Lord. :)

DuckTalk -> RE: Baby's Death-God's Choice (10/13/2008 2:23:57 PM)
So many comforting words from so many people & I thank you so very much. [sm=angel.gif] I know there are no answers, only the hope in what has been promised. [sm=angel.gif] Thank you all for what I can tell is every bit as genuine as anything any family member has said. [sm=angel.gif]

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