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What's the point of marriage? - 10/7/2008 8:43:10 PM
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fallenstar
Posts: 132
Joined: 11/29/2007
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Marriage to me is just a legal thing. I don't see how it makes your relationship any better or less complicated, and (in MY OWN oppinion) it seems to establish a role for the man and the woman to have to follow. It seems to be chaining you in a relationship, so that if one person becomes abusive, one cheats on the other, or just does'nt work out, you have to go through a long and painful process that just makes it all the worse for your soul to heal. You can't just leave and move on with your life. If two people truly love each other, they don't need marriage to help them love each other more. And then there's the belief about sex. Why should you have to wait before you get married to have sex? It makes more sense to me to have sex with someone I love, and are not married to, than to have sex with someone I married but I'm not really in love with.
I guess marriage is just to have a fun little ceremony with all your family and friends, and to some people marriage is a religous ritual. It seems so traditional to me, like society has programmed marriage into everybody's mind, so they are expexted to live a certian way and are shunned if they don't. Is it really so bad to decide not to? What's the point of marriage?
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RE: What's the point of marriage? - 10/8/2008 12:14:59 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 1946
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God established marriage clear back in the Garden of Eden. He made the institution, and He built us to live best in that institution. Put a man and woman together and when they don't act like married people one or both cry "foul." Ever heard someone not married say their SO cheated on them?
Marriage is the answer to bonded relationships, to provide for children (how many kids want to be emancipated when they are two years old? How many movies are about kids wanting their parents to get back together? Tons), to make wealth and take care of elderly people as well. It protects hearts and provides for sexuality in a good way. It produces children and gives them a home and provides them for life training so the wheel doesn't have to be reinvented every generation. We marry and take vows because we are selfish sinners and marriage is protection from selfishness.
It's the people who reject God's ways (the key here is selfishness - I want what I want and don't care who I hurt in getting it) who have problems with marriage. Why be self-sacrificial for others and curtail their desires?
Now back up and put that same selfish person in a hypothetical world as a baby to a woman who has no husband and no income. In a dog-eat-dog world (assuming everyone is chasing their own desires, refusing to sacrifice for others, and rejects God's ways) no baby survives. People bite and devour one another, there is no safety, there is no civilization, there are no businesses (because of lack of sacrificing to get businesses started, and I am assuming people just steal whatever they want). Since no one is growing food - it's work and takes more than a few seconds to make it happen, and you have to have land ownership to do that -eventually the few people left starve to death.
That's why we marry. And do all the other things God gave us. It's a life that works, and perpetuates lives that work. You can take the freeway or you can hike through the swamp full of alligators.
Love seeketh not itself to please
nor for itself hath any care,
but to another gives its ease
and builds a heaven in hell's despair.
- William Blake
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: What's the point of marriage? - 10/8/2008 12:35:01 AM
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nevaehs_gaze
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Marriage honors God. Marriage is a commitment, an act of love. Marriage provides a stable home for children, and security for the family. The Bible says that a marriage relationship is symbolic of the relationship between Christ and His Church, the model by which Christian marriages should follow. It is a union proving steadfast, unconditional love, by making a commitment to one another to not only stay together, but also love and grow together, through whatever happens. It is a respectable and caring way to show your spouse how much you love and honor them as well as keeping your promise before the Lord.
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RE: What's the point of marriage? - 10/8/2008 8:47:10 AM
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Kellgaste
Posts: 493
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From: Wyoming
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My Lady DM and Nevaehs_Gaze hit the nail on the head. I'm trying to come up with more to add to there's but can't atm (Perhaps its because I haven't had my Mt Dew this morning :P)
Well said Ladies!
-Kell
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RE: What's the point of marriage? - 10/8/2008 9:54:06 AM
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emjayzee
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You seem to think that marriage is different from love, or that the two are unrelated. I'm sorry you've gotten this impression. I've been married for 11.5 years and I am so much more in love with my husband now than I was the day we got married, which I didn't think was possible. And I don't know how I can possibly love him more in 11 more years, but I believe I will.
Marriage is the life-long commitment to love another person. Simple to say, hard to do. It is much more than a wedding, which lasts for one day. It is much more than having sex, although that part is good. It is living every day of your life thanking God for the person he gave you to share it with. It is realizing that you are not perfect and neither is your spouse, but when you work together the life you create is pretty close to perfection. It is a pledge to get over the little stuff and work out the big stuff. It is a promise to build up and not tear down each other. It is everything God intended in the relationship between a man and a woman, and I hope you can have it someday.
_____________________________
unicorns borrowed from Matthew Webber, copyright 2002
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RE: What's the point of marriage? - 10/8/2008 12:48:42 PM
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DaveW
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quote:
ORIGINAL: fallenstar
Marriage to me is just a legal thing. I don't see how it makes your relationship any better or less complicated, and (in MY OWN oppinion) it seems to establish a role for the man and the woman to have to follow. Marriage is a covenant. God does not relate to man outside a covenant. Marriage is supposed to be a picture to the world of God's relationship to man. Apparently you do not see that.
quote:
Why should you have to wait before you get married to have sex? It makes more sense to me to have sex with someone I love, and are not married to, than to have sex with someone I married but I'm not really in love with. Again you fail to understand the concept of covenant. Anything as intimate and potentially emotionally damaging as sex needs the protection of a covenant. To have sex with someone based on fickle emotional feelings that may be here today and gone tomorrow can shred your soul.
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RE: What's the point of marriage? - 10/8/2008 12:52:03 PM
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CheshireMuse
Posts: 101
Joined: 8/23/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: fallenstar
Marriage to me is just a legal thing. I don't see how it makes your relationship any better or less complicated, and (in MY OWN oppinion) it seems to establish a role for the man and the woman to have to follow. It seems to be chaining you in a relationship, so that if one person becomes abusive, one cheats on the other, or just does'nt work out, you have to go through a long and painful process that just makes it all the worse for your soul to heal. You can't just leave and move on with your life. If two people truly love each other, they don't need marriage to help them love each other more. And then there's the belief about sex. Why should you have to wait before you get married to have sex? It makes more sense to me to have sex with someone I love, and are not married to, than to have sex with someone I married but I'm not really in love with.
I guess marriage is just to have a fun little ceremony with all your family and friends, and to some people marriage is a religous ritual. It seems so traditional to me, like society has programmed marriage into everybody's mind, so they are expexted to live a certian way and are shunned if they don't. Is it really so bad to decide not to? What's the point of marriage?
There have been some excellent responses here, regarding the ideal set up by God.
I'm not going to address your statement from that standpoint, though. I'm going to address it from YOUR standpoint.
Marriage serves a great many other purposes than a cute little ceremony or just some religious hoops to jump through.
Let's say you and your Significant Other are deeply in love. You've moved in together, set up housekeeping and have accumulated assets together. If you split up, who gets what? If you were married, there would be legal guidelines to protect your assets.
Let's say you and your S.O. have been together for awhile. The two of you decide to have a child. You have great insurance at work - your S.O. doesn't. If you want to add your S.O. to your insurance, you can't. You aren't married.
Let's say your S.O. has an accident or illness. If you aren't married, you have no right to make medical, legal or financial decisions on behalf of your S.O. Those rights are automatically conferred on living (blood) relatives. You may even be denied visitation of your ill loved one.
Let's say your S.O. dies from the above accident or illness. You will have NO rights to the assets that you and your S.O. accumulated together without a specific will. And even then, blood relatives can contest.
Now, you and your S.O. can confer these rights on one another without benefit of marriage, but, you'll have to hire a lawyer and have Power of Attorney papers drawn up, but that's expensive.
Marriage isn't just a biblical mandate from God. Nor is it a fluffy, cute ceremony where everybody gets to dress up and eat goodies. There are very important legal rights that are involved in being someone's spouse. Important financially and legally - especially if children are involved.
_____________________________
Peace,
Muse
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RE: What's the point of marriage? - 10/8/2008 1:20:36 PM
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scottishmomma46
Posts: 178
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hey you just did not get it i do not want to argue that is why i stopped going to chat rooms but i know that God has brought my husband to me and that he has trully blessed me in so many ways and i am not speaking of money or material wealth, but the way the word of God defines blessing.
_____________________________
faith is just not something you talk about......faith is something you do.
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RE: What's the point of marriage? - 10/8/2008 2:24:49 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 769
Joined: 11/28/2005
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* Love is a powerful thing and when it's unrestrained it can cause
great damage morally, physically and economically.
One only has to look at the state our economy is in to see how
people's unrestrained love/desire/greed has brought about such woe.
Talk shows have made us painfully aware of how much sex people in love are having by the great number of shows that feature paternity tests done
on the children born in those circumstances.
Welfare is becoming a "relative" of many single mothers who had
a child or children with someone they loved that ended the love relationship. The majority of those moms have to raise the child/children on welfare.
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RE: What's the point of marriage? - 10/8/2008 6:40:33 PM
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willfs
Posts: 348
Joined: 12/28/2007
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Don't you want to find someone to spend the rest of your life with. Even if you don't there are plenty of people out there who do, which is a good thing. Children need both a loving mom and a loving dad to grow up with. Those without both can certainly make it great in life but it can be difficult not having both parents with you, who both love each other.
You seem to have a bad history with marriage. Maybe not. But I know of many marriages that are built on a buring love.
Maybe you think it is only some culture thing, or relligous thing, or some love of the wedding ceremony but every culture in the world, even those without religion or without huge wedding ceremonies values monogonous marriage greatly. And most polls show that those who are in lifelong happy marriages are happier than those without.
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RE: What's the point of marriage? - 10/8/2008 7:04:12 PM
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scottishmomma46
Posts: 178
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my view of marriage is i think pretty good why don't you think that i am not on track? because i love my husband? not sure why you think i am off track?
_____________________________
faith is just not something you talk about......faith is something you do.
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RE: What's the point of marriage? - 10/8/2008 7:14:45 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1946
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DaveW
Again you fail to understand the concept of covenant. Anything as intimate and potentially emotionally damaging as sex needs the protection of a covenant. To have sex with someone based on fickle emotional feelings that may be here today and gone tomorrow can shred your soul.
Well said, Dave. And there's plenty of people walking around shredded to prove this.
My husband won't mind me telling this, but in the past we had grounds for divorce and we didn't do that. Instead, we confessed our sins to God, repented of them and learned how to do things God's way. Now we have a great marriage and getting better, and an adult child who is loved, secure, and taking the world on for Jesus with success. God heals and God made us to live a certain way and will help us do that. It's a great life. May it be yours as well.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: What's the point of marriage? - 10/9/2008 1:37:52 AM
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levimichal
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From: Christiansted, Virgin Islands live in Minneapolis
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Marriage was established to mirror the relationship between Jesus Christ and the Church. He loved the Church that He died for Her. Love is patient, love is kind, love does not demand its own way, love is not rude, not boastful, not proud. Love rejoices when truth wins out. It is the manner others can look in the lives of Christians and see another way that we are not like the world.
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RE: What's the point of marriage? - 10/9/2008 2:00:28 PM
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SuccessinTruth
Posts: 76
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quote:
ORIGINAL: fallenstar
Marriage to me is just a legal thing. I don't see how it makes your relationship any better or less complicated, and (in MY OWN opinion) it seems to establish a role for the man and the woman to have to follow. It seems to be chaining you in a relationship, so that if one person becomes abusive, one cheats on the other, or just doesn't work out, you have to go through a long and painful process that just makes it all the worse for your soul to heal. You can't just leave and move on with your life. If two people truly love each other, they don't need marriage to help them love each other more. And then there's the belief about sex. Why should you have to wait before you get married to have sex? It makes more sense to me to have sex with someone I love, and are not married to, than to have sex with someone I married but I'm not really in love with.
I guess marriage is just to have a fun little ceremony with all your family and friends, and to some people marriage is a religious ritual. It seems so traditional to me, like society has programmed marriage into everybody's mind, so they are expected to live a certain way and are shunned if they don't. Is it really so bad to decide not to? What's the point of marriage?
quote:
It seems to be chaining you in a relationship, so that if one person becomes abusive, one cheats on the other, or just doesn't work out,
Dearest fallenstar,
What you are saying reminds me so much of what we said in the '60's. We only saw the bad in marriage, not the good. So many of us decided to throw out the baby with the bath water.
The solution is not to stick with a bad marriage, but to make a good marriage. Don't be unequally yoked. When we marry someone, we need to do it in the biblical sense, not as society defines it. It means making a commitment.
Those who live together but are unwilling to make a lifelong commitment really don't have much confidence in the love they claim to have for one another.
We vow to cleave to one another, forsaking all others. We vow to love, honor one another. We vow to stay together, for better or for worse. If we put God at the head of out marriage, the Bible instructs us in how to act towards one another. Putting each other's needs before our own, a man loving his wife as Christ loves His church. When you think about it, that's saying a whole lot.
Couples who live together have the same problems as couples who are married. The difference is, those who have made a commitment to each other work these issues out. I'm not saying that there are no divorces with church members, but for those who love God and want to obey His commandments, there is no reason to sever the bond.
Seek wise counsel before you marry. Often, older and wiser people will spot the cheaters, the abusers. Again, don't be unequally yoked. Marry someone who loves God and wants to obey Him.
As for pre-marital sex, how about unwanted pregnancies, rampant STDs. And wouldn't you like to be with someone who would say with conviction 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I want everyone to know about it.'
Think about doing marriage God's way. Being secure in what you have, giving children two parents, not having to worry about you or your husband comparing you to an ex-lover. Not to mention the most
important thing, having God's blessing. You can't go wrong with that.
Blessings and wisdom to you.
_____________________________
May we Glorify the Lord in all that we say and do
SuccessinTruth
www.mybenefitsplus.com/40623337
affordable dental and health care plans
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RE: What's the point of marriage? - 10/21/2008 9:52:04 PM
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fallenstar
Posts: 132
Joined: 11/29/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DaveW
quote:
ORIGINAL: fallenstar
Marriage to me is just a legal thing. I don't see how it makes your relationship any better or less complicated, and (in MY OWN oppinion) it seems to establish a role for the man and the woman to have to follow. Marriage is a covenant. God does not relate to man outside a covenant. Marriage is supposed to be a picture to the world of God's relationship to man. Apparently you do not see that.
quote:
Why should you have to wait before you get married to have sex? It makes more sense to me to have sex with someone I love, and are not married to, than to have sex with someone I married but I'm not really in love with. Again you fail to understand the concept of covenant. Anything as intimate and potentially emotionally damaging as sex needs the protection of a covenant. To have sex with someone based on fickle emotional feelings that may be here today and gone tomorrow can shred your soul.
Of course I do not see that or I would'nt be asking.
And when you said "fickle emotions", are you saying that love comes after marriage? Because again I am confused. I know two people who were madly in love and have had unwed sex. They have been together for 4 years (their about 23) and I can't imagine them with anybody else. I understand that their relationship is an acception, but I can't see how their "love life" is a sin.
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RE: What's the point of marriage? - 10/21/2008 11:04:29 PM
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ffbruce
Posts: 271
Joined: 10/14/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: fallenstar
Of course I do not see that or I would'nt be asking.
And when you said "fickle emotions", are you saying that love comes after marriage? Because again I am confused. I know two people who were madly in love and have had unwed sex. They have been together for 4 years (their about 23) and I can't imagine them with anybody else. I understand that their relationship is an acception, but I can't see how their "love life" is a sin.
First of all, if you are a Christian (and I'm not assuming you either are or are not), you must base your life, your decisions, your faith, and your choices on what the Bible says. And, like it or not, the Bible DOES say that sex outside of the marriage covenant is wrong, and is sin.
That said, I will also say that sex - outside of marriage - is nearly always destructive. You simply cannot be sexually active with somebody, then just turn and walk away as if nothing had happened. Our bodies, minds and souls simply are not wired that way. Sex unites you to a person in a way that can never be undone.
Regarding this couple you know, who are 23 and have been having sex for 4 years... Big deal. I'd be willing to bet you $100 that 10 years from now they won't be together - and that if they're honest, they'll both admit that they have deep emotional scars as a result. A 23-year old couple having sex together is no real accomplishment. The 75-year old married couple, who has been faithfully having sex with only each other - and who deeply love and are committed to each other - are the ones who have actually accomplished something.
I don't want to sound angry or condemning. I hope very much that you find a wonderful, loving, Christian spouse, that the two of you love each other deeply for your entire lives, and thoroughly enjoy sex the way God intended.
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RE: What's the point of marriage? - 
but now that iam into truth and God and what his word is saying i know i see it too. i am studying the book of Isaiah and WOW what a powerful book this morning while watching Kay arthur i understood for the first time that Isaiah saw his sin by him seeing the glory of God and hearing the seraphim singing holy holy holy and the coal burning his lips.....WOW i understand again for the first time that we MUST SEE GOD as HOLY AND SOVERGIN over EVERYTHING. may God be praised in all we say, do and live our lives daily.
well thank for you for the nice reply i know my soul belongs to God and i serve a risen savior jesus christ.
