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RE: "Controlled Crying" - 10/4/2008 6:11:08 PM
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nicole6598
Posts: 3818
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We are totally here!!
How old is he again? I forget? Like Jae said, there is light at the end of the tunnel my friend!
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RE: "Controlled Crying" - 10/4/2008 6:46:26 PM
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macokjc
Posts: 289
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Ha, ha, ha...I guess I'm an abusive parent. Oh gag me. It's been a long day, am I entitled to a bit of sarcasm.
Here's the thing - basically you can take any topic, search it on the good old web, and come up with a 10 page paper for either side. I alone could probably write 10 pages on my routine-led children vs. their demand-fed cousins, and the stark difference in home life between the two. However, that is not here or there. If you are looking for a change because your great-aunt Mabel suggested that the baby is being spoiled, than you are probably not going to be happy with what you hear here. However, if you are looking for a different (I didn't want to use the term better) way to more harmony in your home life and more confidence as parents, then throw the guilt out the window and ask questions. We are here to support you!
I have 4 kids, pregnant w/ my fifth - and they were all sleeping through the night between 6-8 weeks. They all weighed 18lbs by 6 months, so obviously putting them on a schedule did not harm them. Yes, they did go back and forth w/ waking up as certain things hit them, (teething, sickness), but as soon as we were able to tell the difference between habit and true need, then we were able to lovingly but firmly get them to sleep through the night again.
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RE: "Controlled Crying" - 10/4/2008 7:15:16 PM
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Focusing
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Just amazing ...
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Instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend. That would be giving as the angels give.
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RE: "Controlled Crying" - 10/4/2008 7:28:42 PM
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nicole6598
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Yes Focusing it is an issue, I agree, we all need to butt out of others' business.
In the end it doesn't matter whether you let your child cry (supervised), whether you breastfeed or bottle, whether you massage the baby or not, these things are minor, trivial little things that don't determine what the child will be like as an adult. And that's what God tells us is important, to train the child in the way they should go. As long as you are teaching your child respect, love, giving, honesty, integrity, compassion, those are the things that count. Not whether you chose to let them cry for 5 minutes or wore them on you all day 
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Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!
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RE: "Controlled Crying" - 10/4/2008 9:33:30 PM
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lilyofthefield
Posts: 953
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From: NC, USA
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Nicole, he's 4 months.
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Caden is here!
A boy is Truth with dirt on its face, Beauty with a cut on its finger, Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket. - Alan Beck
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RE: "Controlled Crying" - 10/4/2008 9:38:35 PM
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nicole6598
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cool, well its not too far off until you can really get into it, if you go by what is recommended.. or you can just do it now, it's up to you. hang in there, it will get better!!!
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RE: "Controlled Crying" - 10/4/2008 10:57:46 PM
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nicole6598
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I like that last bit Red 
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RE: "Controlled Crying" - 10/4/2008 11:09:47 PM
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EmilyAnn
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From: Thomasville, NC
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What is the difference in CC and CIO? (I am not judging, just asking.) I have heard both terms but don't really know the details of either.
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6-13-08
9 lbs. 8 oz.
20 3/4 in long
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RE: "Controlled Crying" - 10/4/2008 11:19:03 PM
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nicole6598
Posts: 3818
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I hope this is ok to explain here...
Crying it out would be where you put the child down and then leave them to cry. You wouldn't go back to soothe them, you would just wait for them to go to sleep. If they were to vomit (which could happen to some children if they were crying for a really long time) you would go in, or sometimes not and clean it up then leave them again. That's what I have read about it anyway...
Controlled crying is where you are there for the child. You pick up on their cries, you give them a second before you rush to pick them up. You might sit by their crib and let them cry while "shhh" or singing a lullaby. You might pat them or rub them while they are in their bed. But mostly it means you leave them for short periods of time to cry and to learn how to self-soothe. To fall asleep without needing someone to help them. But you keep going in and reassuring them at different intervals depending on what you decide.
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Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!
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RE: "Controlled Crying" - 10/5/2008 2:37:42 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6162
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From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lilyofthefield
We found out he is not ready for it yet, but we may well have to use CC one day just to get him to the point where he can sleep without having his binky. Fortunately, he sleeps well on his own and mainly in his crib (he sleeps better there than with me anyway). He mainly has the binky issue.
It shouldn't be long before he is finding his own dummy (binky) when it falls out. Did you read what I posted here once about my dd and her dummies (or rather dummies)?
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mvic, January 2009
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RE: "Controlled Crying" - 10/5/2008 2:49:47 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6162
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From: Hampshire, UK
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More teeth is very likely to be the reason.
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mvic, January 2009
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RE: "Controlled Crying" - 10/5/2008 3:00:17 PM
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Kath
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I would like to caution you ladies on one thing; I've seen some posts that refer back to another thread in an disparaging way. Please do not do such a thing, it's just gossip and will cause hard feelings.
Thank you.
Sincerely
Kath
Please do not comment on this action in the community or send me a PM about it. If you have questions, comments or concerns please email Fritz at community@salemwebnetwork.com allowing time for a reply. Thanks!
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RE: "Controlled Crying" - 10/5/2008 3:28:02 PM
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TammyIsBlessed
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 2shaye
quote:
ORIGINAL: lilyofthefield
BTW, who are these people who have babies who sleep thru the night at 12 weeks (or even younger)??? My mom says I did (I mean down at 8 and up at 7)... wow, I can't imagine.
Both of my kids did.
All 4 of mine did too - at varying ages.
I think the latest was DD#3 who took almost 5 months till she was sleeping through the night EVERY night - she did almost all the time by 3 months as well, but on occasion she'd wake during the night and I'd quickly feed her and put her back down.
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I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do. Helen Keller
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RE: "Controlled Crying" - 10/5/2008 3:33:25 PM
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TammyIsBlessed
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I didn't let my 2nd, 3rd & 4th babies cry much at all at night because I didn't want them waking up the others! ;)
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I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do. Helen Keller
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RE: "Controlled Crying" - 10/5/2008 8:53:58 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10187
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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IME, Lily, CC just doesn't work for every kid. Nothing wrong with trying it a couple/few times, and I think you as the parent will know when it just isn't going to work for that one child.
I have one child (my Hannah) who it would have been abusive to do any form of CIO or CC. We tried a couple times and it did the opposite of what we intended it to do. To continue to do that to her once we realized it was detrimental to her would have been abusive, IMO.
CC does have its place though and will work on many to most older babies and toddlers. I think we just have to have the common sense God gave us and know when it will not work and don't force it in those instances, KWIM?
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He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him;
He hears their cry and saves them.
The Lord watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked He will destroy.
~Psalm 145:19-20~
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RE: "Controlled Crying" - 10/5/2008 8:59:48 PM
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lilyofthefield
Posts: 953
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: NC, USA
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Yep, I agree. Caden is definitely not ready yet. The only real reason I think we may need to try it is the whole binky deal, but as Manda said, by then he may be able to find it and replace it himself. Fortunately, it looks like we won't have to use CC just to get him to go to sleep since he likes his crib...
_____________________________
Caden is here!
A boy is Truth with dirt on its face, Beauty with a cut on its finger, Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket. - Alan Beck
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