Are You Being Fed????? (Full Version)

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pstrdebi -> Are You Being Fed????? (9/25/2008 9:40:01 PM)

My husband and I had a discussion yesterday with a local pastor and a few others. We were talking about the use of the term, "I'm not being fed."

There were two sides of this discussion... some who felt that "if you're not being fed... you're not listening or you're not in tune with God." Others felt... "If you're not being fed... the pastor might want to take a close look at what is being preached."

So here's my question...
How do you feel about this? Do you feel that it is solely the responsibility of the person attending... or do you feel that the pastors need to take on some personal accountability?

Let's hear your opinions!



zamdad -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/26/2008 12:26:40 AM)

I think it's a difficult question to answer, Deb. IN the church I've been attending in the past nine years, we're growing. But, I don't feel like I'm being fed. I know some others who've expressed the same thing. Much of it has to do with the pastor's leadership style. The other part of it is our own fault. We're too busy. And, in this area, we're spread apart too far geographically.

I think small groups are a huge part of being fed. I think for our church, we continually fail in this area because the pastor is afraid of cliques being formed. He wants small groups, but he wants each one to study the same material so we can all come to church and be in the same page. Yet, we all have different issues going on in life that we'd like to address and, the way he attempts to structure the groups does not allow for trsut to build and intimate friendships to develop. It all feels like surface level fellowship.



Focusing -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/26/2008 1:06:55 AM)

I have been mulling this very subject over for the past few weeks. The church I was going to had a lot of things I really liked ... but they lacked the small groups. They had a "fellowship" group for single moms, which was really great, but it wasn't a Bible study. They said they were going to offer a new Bible study, open for anyone in the church who wanted to attend, and it would be held during one of the service times ... which left us free to attend one of the other morning services or the Saturday evening service. I was really excited because - finally!! - a good, indepth Bible study was available!! Then they changed the time of the study, and for reasons I won't go into here, I would not be able to attend at the new time.

Also, for the past few years I have been taking a Bible study offered through one of the mega churches in the area. I get frustrated because churches seem to just drop all Bible studies and other regular routines during the summer months, so I really look forward to the studies starting up again in the fall. Now here we are at the end of September, and they still don't have it together for their fall study groups. I don't get it.

How does all this tie in with your topic? Because I have really been feeling like a fish out of water ... because I have not been being fed.

I thought to myself: well, I can do a Bible study on my own. Yes, I sure can. But for me, there are two key elements for me that are missing by doing the Bible study alone: structure (I need the structure of a group setting, this is something I have learned about myself), and I need to have input from others as to how they understand scripture (this really helps me have a better understanding).

There is one other very important thing: a mentor! Don't get me wrong, I do have a couple mentors. What I am talking about is a study leader/mentor.

When I first became a Christian, I was fortunate to be in a Bible study. It was amazing and I learned so much! Then, when the leader of the group left (he moved out of the area), the group no longer had someone who was able to lead, and it disbanded. And I think you know what happens when a brand new baby Christian is left on their own: they usually starve ... the seed that was planted in the rocky place. I do not want that to ever happen again. I consider myself a fairly young Christian with much to learn, and I need to make sure there is plenty around so I stay fed.

So what to do? For now, I have returned to the church we left. We were welcomed back with open arms and huge hugs. The teaching is wonderful (I adore my pastor) and there is always plenty of "meat".

(Why did I leave in the first place? Simple: I didn't like a lot of the "other" stuff. So I will have to learn to just tolerate it.)

My son ... he is learning several verses a week. At the larger church he was not being fed either. They have one verse a month. Yes, you read that correctly. One. Per. Month.

I will also echo zamdad in that, as a single mom, I have different needs/wants for more indepth studies than, say, the teenagers, the young marrieds with no children, the retired saints. And we all know that one size does not fit all.

Working full time, and all that goes into my typical routine during the week, really doesn't leave a whole lot of extra time to run around to various churches and Bible studies, so for now I just have to find a way to be content with the bits I get. But the problem is (which of course is not a problem in God's eyes), I crave so much more.

Not sure what to do about it ... but I sure am glad you brought the topic up. Thank you. [:)]



mvic -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/26/2008 7:33:01 AM)

The responsibility on "feeding" applies to both the pastor/vicar/priest and to the person attending the church.

Take the second one first. Why do we attend church? To meet and enjoy the company of others? To display our latest hat or attire? Or to pray and grow in the Faith? To change ourselves for the better.

So it is our responsibility as parishioners to seek "feeding" and to ensure that we benefit from it.

Now looking at the pastor's responsibility. I think modern society makes his/her role more difficult. Some churches have hundreds or even more attendants. It is difficult to "feed" them all. A sermon or lesson, however good, cannot be as personal and effective as a one to one communication.

In the old days (I'm showing my age here) the pastor knew his flock and had time to visit them at home to offer advice, help and "spiritual food".
I knew a priest who stood outside the church to greet the people as they arrived in church. Not only did he know them by name, but he invariably added something in his conversation to make his greeting more personal. He'd say: Hello Peter, have you fixed the car yet? Hello Mary, how are you getting on with the new medicine you're taking? etc ...

Today, it is impossible for a pastor to know large numbers of people that well.



SonInMe1 -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/26/2008 7:35:02 AM)

As a baby I was fed milk.

As an adult, I feed myself meat.

Those who need to be fed are immature.

Those who feed themselves are mature.



MeganRenee -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/26/2008 10:28:23 AM)

I agree with SonInMe, as mature believers we should be able to feed ourselves. I think we should be able to get something out of the pastors message, but if someone feels like they just aren't being fed, maybe they should take a look at themselves and make sure they are feeding themselves. Just MHO :)

As far as small groups go, at our church they are just social time. I don't mind some socializing, I mean, that's how you live your lives together and build relationships. However, I miss the time we used to spend in the Bible, when the church would have studies that all the small groups did or the small group leader would come up with a study. We used to have some social time at the beginning, get into God's Word together, and have prayer time. Now, there aren't any other in depth Bible studies available right now.



PastorPatricia -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/26/2008 11:29:58 AM)

I agree that we are largly responsible for our own feeding. If the only food you receive is the Sunday sermon, you're going to be really empty mid week. Pastor's have a responsibility to present the gospel and teach but it's you're business to go to Bible Study, study on your own and pray. It always makes me mad when I hear someone say, "I'm not being fed". If you're not being fed do something about it!!



stampinlady -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/26/2008 11:42:54 AM)

Are ya eatin'?[8D]



ta_mosquito -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/26/2008 11:56:29 AM)

When the church is a drain rather than a faucet, then I think there's a legitimate gripe.

Yeah, I can feed myself, but I'd like for the service to be edifying rather than a chore.

So to answer the OP, I think it's a matter of BOTH.



1love1God1way -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/26/2008 12:01:42 PM)

At my church, I was always pouring into others, I never got a chance to take the time and be fed.

I have recently started attending an additional church sevice elsewhere, just so that I could actually be a part of a congregation.



Little_1 -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/26/2008 1:41:22 PM)

I have been very fortunate in that I have had some fabulous ministers in each of the areas we have lived. Unfortunately, at the present, there is no good, solid teaching in any of the local churches and we don't get a lot of 'spiritual food' and encouragement. However, I love to study God's Word for myself and I believe the Lord does bless us when we set ourselves to study His Word to show ourselves approved unto Him (2 Timothy 2:15). Also, church can be complimented with some wonderful TV preachers, e.g. Dr David Jeremiah, Dr Charles Stanley, etc.

I remember someone once saying that a minister can only lead His congregation as far as he himself has gone! Perhaps it is time to move on to pastures new if there is nothing to glean from your current minister. Or we could also ask ourselves, "What is to stop us studying God's Word for ourselves?" When we come across a wee gem in Scripture, there is nothing to beat it and so we don't have to wait until Sunday to get fed; nor should the mature Christian rely on the Minister to provide their 'complete spiritual intake' anyway:

2 Timothy 2:15
Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.



rcjames -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/26/2008 2:31:33 PM)

Ebery time I read the Word, hear the Word, or meditate on the Word; I am fed.

Thanks
RC



sunshine4God -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/26/2008 11:35:14 PM)

I believe I am being Fed.



pstrdebi -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/27/2008 1:34:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: zamdad

I think it's a difficult question to answer, Deb. IN the church I've been attending in the past nine years, we're growing. But, I don't feel like I'm being fed. I know some others who've expressed the same thing. Much of it has to do with the pastor's leadership style. The other part of it is our own fault. We're too busy. And, in this area, we're spread apart too far geographically.

I think small groups are a huge part of being fed. I think for our church, we continually fail in this area because the pastor is afraid of cliques being formed. He wants small groups, but he wants each one to study the same material so we can all come to church and be in the same page. Yet, we all have different issues going on in life that we'd like to address and, the way he attempts to structure the groups does not allow for trust to build and intimate friendships to develop. It all feels like surface level fellowship.


I agree... small groups are great... as long as they don't take the place of "church." The one thing I would like to see in more churches, is mentoring or discipleship programs. This is so very important... and I know that there are several men out there (on this post) that experience a lack of fellowship and accountability in their lives. My husband has always dealt with that too... but some women deal with it too. I, for one, just cannot deal with the cliquie gossipy womens groups. I just won't go there. It is not of God. Sooo... that has left me out of A LOT of things. (By my own choice, of course).

I focus now on mentoring. One to one is best... but sometimes meeting with a couple women and discussing issues, God, etc. Even meeting together as husband and wife with another couple or two works.

AND... I would suggest this for others. If you don't have something going at your church... do it on your own. Meet with another couple or find an accountability partner (of the same sex). I know this is very difficult in our day and age... it is hard to find someone to trust. But go to God about it and tell Him your desires.

Blessings!



pstrdebi -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/27/2008 2:21:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mvic

The responsibility on "feeding" applies to both the pastor/vicar/priest and to the person attending the church.



Hi mvic!

This is so true... However, I can tell you that if my husband or I are just standing up there babbling and no-one is being fed... WE better get in our prayer closet and find out why!

As far as we're concerned... and this is OUR opinion.... God has placed us as Shepherds over a flock. What does that entail?
(this is in no concrete order)
1st. A good Shepherd "Knows" his flock... if you have too many sheep to care for... you need to find another pasture to put some of them... with another Shepherd! It's called "church planting." A Shepherd knows each sheep and it's characteristics. He knows how to tend to that sheep by "knowing" him.

2nd. A good Shepherd "Cares" for his flock... this means he provides green pastures for them to graze. He cares for them personally... checking for wounds and making sure they are groomed and tended to.

3rd. A good Shepherd "Tends" his flock... this means he is there for them. He doesn't take off on a vacation to Hawaii or Cabo every couple months leaving them to tend for themselves. He took the job... he needs to do it.

4th. A good Shepherd "Protects" his flock... this means he doesn't allow wolves to get near his sheep. He watches carefully for wolves and for other preying entities and chases them off. And he cares for and tends to those who have been bitten.

5th. A good Shepherd "Manages" his flock... this means he is on the look out for those unruly sheep who want to keep digging under the fence and leading others astray. This also means he looks out for those dumb sheep that keep wandering off... He gently takes his staff and draws them back into the fold.

6th. A good Shepherd "Corrects" his flock... this means that he needs to sometimes be a little stricter with those sheep who are rebellious and keep creating havoc amongst the flock. Sometimes the Shepherd needs to release that sheep from the flock in order to keep order amongst the others.

There is a lot more that a good Shepherd does for his flock... this is just touching on it. However, it gives you an idea of what is required.

Although we are required to be good parishioners, congregants, whatever... and go, listen, and apply... It is the pastors responsibility to tend his flock. He is positioned to do that by God, and thus, has a greater responsibility and will be held to a higher standard BY God.

Like I said... this is OUR opinion... actually our conviction. Why? Because it is outlined by God in His Word.

Blessings!!
Pastor Debi



RJR_fan -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/27/2008 3:16:47 PM)

quote:

Every time I read the Word, hear the Word, or meditate on the Word; I am fed.


John 4 -- "I have meat to eat that ye know not of," Jesus told His disciples at Jacob's Well in Samaria. "My meat is to do the will of Him who sent me and to finish His work."

As Jim Lafoon, a leader in our denomination pointed out, passive spectators are the folks most likely to complain about "not being fed." Doers of the Word enjoy supernatural nourishment.

Speaking personally, IMHO, every person and family needs to have a window to the outside world, something to do and live for beyond his or its immediate self-interest. Adopt a nearby nursing home, for example. Join a volunteer fire department. Tutor and mentor inner city kids a few times a month. As a valued early mentor said, "The world is full of nice things you can do for Jesus."

And it's amazing what kinds of fresh insights and experiences God pours out upon those who are "on the move."



pstrdebi -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/27/2008 9:10:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RJR_fan

As Jim Lafoon, a leader in our denomination pointed out, passive spectators are the folks most likely to complain about "not being fed." Doers of the Word enjoy supernatural nourishment.


I don't disagree with this... but that also applies to Pastors. There are far too many passive pastors across this great United States who are too busy tickling the ears of their congregants simply because they do not want to offend them and lose the tithe money!

Pastors have a duty to teach the Word in a way that it IS the meat that their flock needs. Good Shepherds feed their flocks... they don't leave them to their selves to find their own pasture.



MAP2010 -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/27/2008 9:21:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pstrdebi

My husband and I had a discussion yesterday with a local pastor and a few others. We were talking about the use of the term, "I'm not being fed."

There were two sides of this discussion... some who felt that "if you're not being fed... you're not listening or you're not in tune with God." Others felt... "If you're not being fed... the pastor might want to take a close look at what is being preached."

So here's my question...
How do you feel about this? Do you feel that it is solely the responsibility of the person attending... or do you feel that the pastors need to take on some personal accountability?

Let's hear your opinions!



I think if its only one person then its that person who should ask themself whats wrong, but if many say it then the Pastor should ask. But the Pastor should care because its His Job to Lead the followers in the right path, so if some one is feeling this way they need to talk to the Pastor for help. So it will be fixed and so no one is left without.

Mark



MAP2010 -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/27/2008 9:33:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SonInMe1

As a baby I was fed milk.

As an adult, I feed myself meat.

Those who need to be fed are immature.

Those who feed themselves are mature.


You are right, But we need to understand that not many our mature in Faith. So many are children in their Faith. How many of us Read and learn? How many take time to know His Word? If all we do is hear and not Read we are children in our Faith, thats why we need Pastors and Leaders to show us the Word. So there are more people who are not mature in their Faith and Pastors need to know how to teach them so they can understand. I have seen people who are old and have child like Faith, yet I have seen some young who have a better understanding of their Faith. And some think they know but do not.

Mark



MAP2010 -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/27/2008 9:38:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pstrdebi

quote:

ORIGINAL: mvic

The responsibility on "feeding" applies to both the pastor/vicar/priest and to the person attending the church.



Hi mvic!

This is so true... However, I can tell you that if my husband or I are just standing up there babbling and no-one is being fed... WE better get in our prayer closet and find out why!

As far as we're concerned... and this is OUR opinion.... God has placed us as Shepherds over a flock. What does that entail?
(this is in no concrete order)
1st. A good Shepherd "Knows" his flock... if you have too many sheep to care for... you need to find another pasture to put some of them... with another Shepherd! It's called "church planting." A Shepherd knows each sheep and it's characteristics. He knows how to tend to that sheep by "knowing" him.

2nd. A good Shepherd "Cares" for his flock... this means he provides green pastures for them to graze. He cares for them personally... checking for wounds and making sure they are groomed and tended to.

3rd. A good Shepherd "Tends" his flock... this means he is there for them. He doesn't take off on a vacation to Hawaii or Cabo every couple months leaving them to tend for themselves. He took the job... he needs to do it.

4th. A good Shepherd "Protects" his flock... this means he doesn't allow wolves to get near his sheep. He watches carefully for wolves and for other preying entities and chases them off. And he cares for and tends to those who have been bitten.

5th. A good Shepherd "Manages" his flock... this means he is on the look out for those unruly sheep who want to keep digging under the fence and leading others astray. This also means he looks out for those dumb sheep that keep wandering off... He gently takes his staff and draws them back into the fold.

6th. A good Shepherd "Corrects" his flock... this means that he needs to sometimes be a little stricter with those sheep who are rebellious and keep creating havoc amongst the flock. Sometimes the Shepherd needs to release that sheep from the flock in order to keep order amongst the others.

There is a lot more that a good Shepherd does for his flock... this is just touching on it. However, it gives you an idea of what is required.

Although we are required to be good parishioners, congregants, whatever... and go, listen, and apply... It is the pastors responsibility to tend his flock. He is positioned to do that by God, and thus, has a greater responsibility and will be held to a higher standard BY God.

Like I said... this is OUR opinion... actually our conviction. Why? Because it is outlined by God in His Word.

Blessings!!
Pastor Debi



100% Right from my point of view. [;)] God Bless.



Focusing -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/27/2008 9:42:13 PM)

Thank you pstrdebi and Mark ... it is so true that many of us are young in the faith. After making my post the other day and then reading several of the next comments I felt a little as if the message coming across was "you are on your own - take care of yourself". I realize that if I am not taught how to feed myself, I cannot feed myself sufficiently. I am actively seeking the food, but still need guidance. Being given a wonderful meal twice a week is great, and much appreciated, but I want to be able to feed myself the other days. I do feel that a good pastor is a shepherd for the church and needs to be sensitive to the appetite of his flock.



makarizo -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/28/2008 8:13:17 AM)

Joh 21:16 Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep.

quote:

How do you feel about this? Do you feel that it is solely the responsibility of the person attending... or do you feel that the pastors need to take on some personal accountability?


after many years of being a part of the body, I have learned that when I hear the words: "I am not being fed at this church"
it doesn't necessarily mean that. - it might,.... but it also might mean
"I refuse to eat" or a number of other things.

it is all very clear to me, and everything else is secondary to this.if you can't share your faith in Christ, you will not get fed. and ultimately "I am not being fed" means "I cannot share my faith"
that is NOT the pastor's fault

even the very best churches (like the one I am going to) have people who don't feel fed. don't feel like they fit in, don't feel like they are where God wants them.

there are many many parts in the body of Christ (1st Cor 12:12)



pstrdebi -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/28/2008 11:03:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: makarizo

it is all very clear to me, and everything else is secondary to this.if you can't share your faith in Christ, you will not get fed. and ultimately "I am not being fed" means "I cannot share my faith"
that is NOT the pastor's fault



I am sorry, but I respectfully disagree with this. There are many times that I have entered a church, watched the pastor put on a show... left that building and was totally able to share my faith.

I have watch Jesse Duplantes on TV... and God love him, he cracks me up! BUT... many times he has not fed me because he's too busy cracking jokes throughout his "sermon" and is back and forth so much. There are times when I have not received any wisdom, or pearls, or meat... simply because he's not dishing it out!

I am not sure what you mean by this. We all can share our faith, whether we're being fed or not.



Focusing -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/28/2008 12:22:50 PM)

Just another thought running through my mind on this subject, from my own personal experience with attending church ...

I was attending Church A as a baby Christian. The pastor preached, and while he had a basic bare bones outline up on the screen, it was completely up to us to take notes. I was frustrated flipping through the Bible because I didn't know where the books were. But I learned. I was being fed by being put in a position to become familiar with my Bible.

For various reasons, I left Church A and started attending Church B. In Church B, we were handed sermon notes along with our weekly bulletin. I got to fill in a blank on the page here and there. I didn't need my Bible because the verses were projected onto the screen. I quit bring my Bible to church because I didn't need it. Then it seemed my Bible wasn't be touched throughout the week ... Church B didn't have a midweek service, and they weren't offering Bible studies (except what were offered during Sunday morning services). While I believe the pastor loved God with all his heart, he wasn't offering his teachings in a way that encouraged his flock to want to dig into the Word.

Hence, I am now back at Church A. There are several reasons why I feel I am being fed at Church A. The number one reason being encouragement. Encouragement to familiarize myself with the Bible. Encouragement to dig into the Word more thoroughly after the sermon has been preached ... i.e., word searches on e-sword, breaking out the ole concordance, finding all the instances where this word is mentioned, all the contexts it applies to, branching out to other words (similar topics) ... the sermon serves the purpose of stimulating my appetite as opposed to satisfying it.

The other reason I am back at Church A is because it's smaller. I know most of the people who attend the church (it's small). The pastor encourages us to gather together in the fellowship hall after the service to talk ... not just about the subject of the sermon, but to know each other better, to be able to lift one another up in prayer more effectively through this intimate knowledge of one another. Perhaps to me, being fed is much more than just reading the Word. It's sharing my faith with my brothers and sisters in Christ, discussing it, learning how better to apply it to my life, encouraging them to apply it to their life.

There is another thread about how much time do you spend with non-Christians? The vast majority of my time is spent with non-Christians. It comes with the territory of being in the world, living in a big city, the type of work I do ... and going to church, spending intimate time with brothers and sisters in Christ, is a time of refreshing, the little bit of time I do have to spend in getting fed ... and perhaps that is why I don't feel like I'm being fed as much as others do by the simple fact that it's a small portion of my time.

So, my apologies if I have derailed this thread with my wandering thoughts on the subject. It is just very timely for me at this point in my life.



makarizo -> RE: Are You Being Fed????? (9/28/2008 1:38:18 PM)

quote:

I am sorry, but I respectfully disagree with this. There are many times that I have entered a church, watched the pastor put on a show... left that building and was totally able to share my faith,


then I don't think you are disagreeing with me.


If someone tells you that they are not being fed, do you associate that with a lousy pastor?

can a person NOT share their faith and still be fed?
what happens when there is no faith... and what is the pastor actually supposed to be feeding the people?

I know from visisting different churches that some preachers give the old "leave your bible at home" good story telling, maybe a little moral here and there, ... I have seen this.
but
even if the pastor has a doctorate, has been around the world, has the best praise music, a solid administration, it is no guarentee that everyone will feel like they are getting fed.

it has only a small part to do with the pastor and the sermon.
if a pastor thinks it does, they are arrogant.

pastdbi: when a believer is well fed, what do you believe they are eating?
is it an emotional food, a food of knowledge, or is it faith, or something else?

Heb 11:6 And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.



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