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RE: Clueless - 9/20/2008 8:26:38 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 17966
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
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I have only found 2 ways to know if a woman is interested or not.
1-if she calls me first or actually returns my calls when I call her.
2-She downright kisses me!
Barring those 2 things, I cannot tell when a woman is genuinely interested or just being her friendly self instead.
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RE: Clueless - 9/20/2008 10:26:13 AM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2122
Joined: 12/11/2007
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quote:
I have only found 2 ways to know if a woman is interested or not.
1-if she calls me first or actually returns my calls when I call her.
2-She downright kisses me!
Barring those 2 things, I cannot tell when a woman is genuinely interested or just being her friendly self instead.
I return phone calls as common courtesy. It's not an indication of interest.
Kiss? It depends on where a woman kisses you. If she kissed you on the cheek, forehead, it's just a nice way to say, thank you for the nice time.
There are still some women who kisses men just to see if they feel any spark, so it's not the surest way to detect interest. Although for me, yeah, if I kiss you, I'm definitely into you. Otherwise, you'd never get passed my imaginary fence.
The surest way to know if the woman is interested in exploring a potential relationship with you is to tell her your interested, and if she feels the same. Otherwise, the rests of the techniques are just guessing games....and even though that's fun at times...it can be very tiring.
_____________________________
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint....Isaiah 40: 31
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RE: Clueless - 9/20/2008 10:36:32 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 17966
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
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See, I still don't know! And yeah I think that the only way to really know is to just out and out ask instead.
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RE: Clueless - 9/20/2008 2:26:40 PM
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terryjohn
Posts: 463
Joined: 3/23/2007
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Guys are not as clueless as they pretend to be. They just find it more polite to pretend not to notice when they are not interested.What else is a man to do? Would a weaker man lead women on even when he was not interested?
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RE: Clueless - 9/22/2008 7:33:25 AM
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willfs
Posts: 316
Joined: 12/28/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
See, I still don't know! And yeah I think that the only way to really know is to just out and out ask instead.
Even then, many woman who are interested will not say so, even those with a lot of interest.
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RE: Clueless - 9/23/2008 12:43:25 PM
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DaveW
Posts: 4073
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
There was a discussion there about men being clueless about interpreting the signals the women send them. They have no clue if women are interested in them, ... Certainly, this can't be true, can it?
So, men, care to enlighten us? Are you clueless? Back in the day, I was completely clueless. So much so my wife says I should have dated a LOT more before I ever met her. I am still clueless after 31 years of marriage.
I rarely dated. Probably I could count the number of dates I had before my wife on my fingers and still get change back. I proposed on our 2nd date.
I was this clueless: In my senior year of HS there was a girl 3 years behind me (freshman) who (apparent to all but me) had a huge crush on me. Someone had to tell me. We had study hall in the library the same period. She would sit all hour and stare at me with this dreamy look. She was quite pretty. This went on for months until a good friend asked me how long I was keep her waiting. "Waiting for what?" He explained and I (much to my shame) was harsh with her.
There was another girl I had a huge crush on (and did not realize until about 4 years ago) probably felt the same. She was the daughter of the owner of an organ dealership where my sister and I took music lessons all thru HS. She always came up to talk to me during my sister's lessons and invited me to her church youth group's Christmas party. A few weeks after that her dad had a talk with me, saying he did not allow his daughters to date before a certain age. (I found out later that birthday was only a few months away) I never got that she perhaps might have been interested.
That is how clueless us men can be.
_____________________________
Avatar is Saphira 5 months and Louvena at 23 months!
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RE: Clueless - 10/22/2008 3:52:37 AM
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SamsonUSA
Posts: 365
Joined: 10/5/2008
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I've found that when most women are interested they usually show it initially by being extra friendly in a coy but flirty kind of way. If a man is interested back or just curious what their intentions may be just make direct eye contact when speaking with her and gaze into her eyes. Indeed the eyes are the window of the soul and are usually a tell all.
_____________________________
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and earth!
Casting Crowns
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RE: Clueless - 10/22/2008 10:47:43 AM
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ffbruce
Posts: 271
Joined: 10/14/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
I mean, c'mon, those women go out on dates with the men, and you'd still think that those men are clueless? Like, how slow can men be? What else do these women need to do for men to know that they are interested?
This is not directed at you, Prairiehiker, nor is it an angry rant. But I do want to share a few observations from a guy who has been married 25 years...
There is a certain point at which women - both single and married women - need to get over these little cat & mouse games of dropping subtle hints and expecting guys to pick up on them. For the most part, guys just don't communicate that way.
Men are not mind-readers. We do not know what women are thinking and feeling. For that matter, most women don't even understand what they themselves are thinking and feeling.
Men tend to be less complicated in our emotions. We basically have two emotions: Happy & mad. Everything else is just a slight variation of one of those two. Therefore, not only do we not understand subtle nuances of complex and complicated emotions - we tend to not even know they exist.
Men usually do not speak sentences that have two or three meanings. If a man says, "I'd like to go get some ice cream," that is ALL he means. Nothing more and nothing less. He does not mean that he's feeling stressed at work, or that he needs to blow off some frustration, or that he wants to have sex later. He just means that he wants to got get some ice cream.
And so goes the game. Men & women communicate differently - both in the giving, the receiving and the interpreting.
Therefore... Ladies, if a man seems clueless, it's very possible that you're not being clear enough in what you want, need or mean.
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RE: Clueless - 10/22/2008 2:09:45 PM
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SamsonUSA
Posts: 365
Joined: 10/5/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ffbruce
quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
I mean, c'mon, those women go out on dates with the men, and you'd still think that those men are clueless? Like, how slow can men be? What else do these women need to do for men to know that they are interested?
This is not directed at you, Prairiehiker, nor is it an angry rant. But I do want to share a few observations from a guy who has been married 25 years...
There is a certain point at which women - both single and married women - need to get over these little cat & mouse games of dropping subtle hints and expecting guys to pick up on them. For the most part, guys just don't communicate that way.
Men are not mind-readers. We do not know what women are thinking and feeling. For that matter, most women don't even understand what they themselves are thinking and feeling.
Men tend to be less complicated in our emotions. We basically have two emotions: Happy & mad. Everything else is just a slight variation of one of those two. Therefore, not only do we not understand subtle nuances of complex and complicated emotions - we tend to not even know they exist.
Men usually do not speak sentences that have two or three meanings. If a man says, "I'd like to go get some ice cream," that is ALL he means. Nothing more and nothing less. He does not mean that he's feeling stressed at work, or that he needs to blow off some frustration, or that he wants to have sex later. He just means that he wants to got get some ice cream.
And so goes the game. Men & women communicate differently - both in the giving, the receiving and the interpreting.
Therefore... Ladies, if a man seems clueless, it's very possible that you're not being clear enough in what you want, need or mean.
Very well stated!
_____________________________
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and earth!
Casting Crowns
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RE: Clueless - 10/22/2008 5:02:52 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2122
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ffbruce
quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
I mean, c'mon, those women go out on dates with the men, and you'd still think that those men are clueless? Like, how slow can men be? What else do these women need to do for men to know that they are interested?
This is not directed at you, Prairiehiker, nor is it an angry rant. But I do want to share a few observations from a guy who has been married 25 years...
There is a certain point at which women - both single and married women - need to get over these little cat & mouse games of dropping subtle hints and expecting guys to pick up on them. For the most part, guys just don't communicate that way.
Men are not mind-readers. We do not know what women are thinking and feeling. For that matter, most women don't even understand what they themselves are thinking and feeling.
Men tend to be less complicated in our emotions. We basically have two emotions: Happy & mad. Everything else is just a slight variation of one of those two. Therefore, not only do we not understand subtle nuances of complex and complicated emotions - we tend to not even know they exist.
Men usually do not speak sentences that have two or three meanings. If a man says, "I'd like to go get some ice cream," that is ALL he means. Nothing more and nothing less. He does not mean that he's feeling stressed at work, or that he needs to blow off some frustration, or that he wants to have sex later. He just means that he wants to got get some ice cream.
And so goes the game. Men & women communicate differently - both in the giving, the receiving and the interpreting.
Therefore... Ladies, if a man seems clueless, it's very possible that you're not being clear enough in what you want, need or mean.
NO offense taken. I don't believe that people are clueless, nor do I play the guessing/waiting game, this is hardly a problem for me, lol. I asked the question for the benefit of other women in the SIngles forum because there's hardly any men that goes in there to enlighten us. It's nice to hear what you guys had to say. I, for once, don't believe that majority of men are clueless when it comes to women's interests in them. And women are not clueless; maybe scared or unsure, but if we're being honest, we're not completely clueless. I know I spent years pretending that I don't know men's intention when they approach me on a bike trail or hiking trail, but in reality, I know exactly that they are interested, but it's easier to pretend that I don't know, so I don't have to respond in a manner that either rejects them, or encourage them. Just see my tomboy thread here. I'm good at pretending, lol.
And if one is clueless and is interested, they should just take the risk and ask. Life is too short for guessing games. Though it could be fun; it gets tiring after awhile, lol!
< Message edited by Prairiehiker -- 10/22/2008 8:37:07 PM >
_____________________________
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint....Isaiah 40: 31
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RE: Clueless - 10/26/2008 5:58:23 PM
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SamsonUSA
Posts: 365
Joined: 10/5/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
I have only found 2 ways to know if a woman is interested or not.
1-if she calls me first or actually returns my calls when I call her.
2-She downright kisses me!
Barring those 2 things, I cannot tell when a woman is genuinely interested or just being her friendly self instead.
OK, OK add me to the list of human male specimens that are completely clueless. Since I work in the fitness industry I spend quite a bit of time doing double duty as an amateur psychiatrist listening to women tell me their lives secrets. I hear complaints about husbands, boyfriends, what they don't do, what they should do, what they wish they would, do, ect, ect.
I also date fairly often as work, training, and service time permits. So just when I'm thinking I'm pretty dialed into reading womens intentions let me share something with you that happened today to prove how clueless I actually am.
Part of my current training regimen includes a 6 am power hike up local Thunderbird Mountain. Even though I wear a weighted pack I usually pass most of the hikers on the way up since many people that hike there do so as a leisurely activity. I noticed a couple of weeks ago a very attractive young woman that despite her small size is quite the fitness buff and passes me effortlessly during her run up the trail. We've exchanged glances and a couple of pleasantries at the summit while we stretched and sipped water before heading back down.
This morning was no different than the others and I saw her at the top after she blew by me again on the way up. Today while catching my breath at the top I mentioned what a beautiful morning it was and after nodding her head yes she asked me my name. We chatted for a good 15 minutes after introductions and when I said that I better start heading back down to get ready for church she asked me if I wanted to meet for lunch or workout together sometime. After mumbling something totally man -stupid like, sure why not? we descended down the mountain together. She shared with me she had been trying to get my attention for the past couple of weeks and usually isn't so forward but came to the conclusion that if she didn't speak up and break let me know she was interested that I never would have.
True, I was totally clueless. When I mentioned to her I had no idea she was being anything more than cordial towards me for the past two weeks she said " Ummm I did everything but ask you to kiss me at the top of the mountain" after turning 4 shades of red and saying " I can't believe I just said that "we exchanged contact info and she was gone.
She is a first year law student and part time model and is also 100 years younger than me ( and Catholic) so I doubt we will live happily ever after. But the moral of the story kids is yes, all men are completely clueless!
_____________________________
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and earth!
Casting Crowns
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RE: Clueless - 10/26/2008 6:02:22 PM
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SamsonUSA
Posts: 365
Joined: 10/5/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: terryjohn
Guys are not as clueless as they pretend to be. They just find it more polite to pretend not to notice when they are not interested.What else is a man to do? Would a weaker man lead women on even when he was not interested?
Oh yes we are. Read my post above.
_____________________________
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and earth!
Casting Crowns
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RE: Clueless - 10/26/2008 6:52:03 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2122
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
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Guys, the question was in regards to situations where you have normal interaction with the women. You see them all the time, and even hang out with them from time to time; even been out on a date with them. At that point, would you still be clueless as to what they want? I would venture to say that more often than not, men are not that clueless in this particular scenario.
_____________________________
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint....Isaiah 40: 31
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RE: Clueless - 10/26/2008 7:07:13 PM
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SamsonUSA
Posts: 365
Joined: 10/5/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Guys, the question was in regards to situations where you have normal interaction with the women. You see them all the time, and even hang out with them from time to time; even been out on a date with them. At that point, would you still be clueless as to what they want? I would venture to say that more often than not, men are not that clueless in this particular scenario.
Sorry PH I stand corrected. In that scenario I would say that I feel pretty confident that my reads on them are correct most of the time.
_____________________________
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and earth!
Casting Crowns
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RE: Clueless - 10/26/2008 7:15:35 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2122
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
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By the way, Samson, that's great, lol, about your early morning encounter.
I'm probably like one of those women on the trail that talks and hikes with everyone, so, in that scenerio, no man would know I'm interested unless I gave him that same line that the girl you met said to you, lol.
_____________________________
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint....Isaiah 40: 31
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RE: Clueless - 10/28/2008 6:27:14 PM
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firefighter38310
Posts: 36
Joined: 10/13/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
So, men, care to enlighten us? Are you clueless?
i am married and still clueless. i failed mind reading 101
i cant read my wife's mind and when i was single i couldn't read ladies minds then.
all the subtle and not so subtle hints wouldn't work with me when i was single. In other words a lady would never have to wonder if i was interested. if there was a lady i wanted to date i would simply ask her out
that's just me though
_____________________________
if you want the mission accomlished overnight..dont call Fed-Ex call a Navy Seal Team
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RE: Clueless - 10/29/2008 12:10:00 AM
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OneJohn410
Posts: 1179
Joined: 6/1/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Guys, the question was in regards to situations where you have normal interaction with the women. You see them all the time, and even hang out with them from time to time; even been out on a date with them. At that point, would you still be clueless as to what they want? I would venture to say that more often than not, men are not that clueless in this particular scenario.
So... to be clear to my brain, and having tried unsuccessfully once to close this thread down, or been credited to... She and I have been friends, and one of us even asked the other out for a date and the other of us said oh, my, I'd love to! And at that there moment, are we clueless as to whether there's another date potential, or even the big poposal potential (even after the second date- wowser! I mean shazaam! Dave W, I've not heard of anyone so sure of themself, and keeping to it afterwards. God bless your testimony, and keep y'all on fire to know Him and each other more and more.)
Samson said look eyes, always look eyes, and with that I am positive I'd not be clueless what she was thinking. Now I would be a bit timid about losing my job to ask the beautiful ladies blowing by me on the hikes if they'd like to be kissed at the top of the hill. Not clueless. Just not wanting a shove to send me halfway down, or into someone else coming up. I'm sorry, but I had to get that in here.
_____________________________
The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. Psalm 28:7
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RE: Clueless - 10/29/2008 12:12:31 AM
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vikingfan
Posts: 74
Joined: 1/24/2008
Status: offline
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Something to add here is that for many guys, mixed signals is a HUGE problem. I may see a couple signals that she is interested but then a few minutes signals that she is not.
If a girl gives CONSISTENT signals, that is easier (but by no means comprehensive) for a guy to get.
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RE: Clueless - 10/29/2008 11:53:24 PM
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levimichal
Posts: 38
Joined: 10/9/2008
From: Christiansted, Virgin Islands live in Minneapolis
Status: offline
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Why not just ask women? The truth is that each woman reveals her interest in a different way. To me and only me I find my eyes drawn to young men who follow the Lord, I listen more intently but it is easy to do so because I lack spiritual leadership where I am at. Since I have started to go to a bible based church I don't suffer from that as much. Go to God for whom to court.
_____________________________
Levita Michal Ayala Goeloe
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