Looking Down On Someone... (Full Version)

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MyCatSmokey2006 -> Looking Down On Someone... (9/14/2008 12:28:40 AM)

I'm wondering if anyone else has this problem. Whenever I see someone that I don't want to talk to, I tend to look down at the floor, rather than at them, to avoid eye contact, especially if they're dressed in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable, like a hoodlum or whatever. I'm NOT a prejudicial person, but for some reason, most of the people that I don't feel comfortable making eye contact with, who are dressed in this way, usually are not white.

I feel ashamed of myself for being this way, yet I'm concerned about my own safety. There were times when I received unwanted attention from people I didn't want to talk to, because I'd accidently made eye contact with them. I just want to protect myself and not get into trouble. At the same time, I want to show Christlike love for all people, so I'd like some advice on how to deal with this situation.



LCannon -> RE: Looking Down On Someone... (9/14/2008 1:16:55 AM)

The problem with aloofness, outside protection; always be aware, is a perception of isolation(or insulation) on both parts. I always try to 'catch a eye' while passing. You'd be amazed at even that or a smile can disarm the most 'hardened' soul and word in passing might be the first positive input that week. I use a three step approach: First catch a eye(very important), second:smile and third say cheerfully, 'Hey ladies/guys' in passing. You don't have to 'preach' just whisper a prayer maybe as they're coming maybe for yourself to relax. As you become more comfortable and develop a pseudo 'relationship' they'll(potentially)feel free(er) to respond on any level they choose to. You(potentially)might have an opportunity to share, too; not necessarily 'preach' but show consideration a little of your warmth. We're not called to save 'em, we're called to obedience for their 'bleeding'.

Try this train yourself: Every time you see a school bus recite this ditty, ' Pray for students, teachers and schools.' Just include school buses and strangers and emergency aid responders and... Train yourself to look for your opportunities and be ready to share the 'hope borne in you'.



zamdad -> RE: Looking Down On Someone... (9/14/2008 4:54:31 AM)

Wow, Smokey. You sound as if you are looking to become a victim of assault, robbery, or some other crime. You described characteristics criminal look for in victims. Hold your head up, look people in the eye and get over yourself.



Oldwing -> RE: Looking Down On Someone... (9/14/2008 5:05:45 AM)

Understand that the most scruffy looking is often the first one to help and the best dressed is often the first to use you for their own purposes. Clothes nor skin color do not make the 'man'. It is what is within their hearts that matters. Look up, see their eyes as they are the window to their souls.

I grew up in SoCal in a 'white enclave' town but went to school with a huge diversity of people. My friends then were black, Hispanic, white, American Indian, Chinese, etc. All were true friends and it was the children of privelege that seemed to have less moral compass.

I am a biker and often look like the one you would cross the street to avoid, yet I am the first to stop when someone is broken down by the side of the road and break out my tools to help. This has always been my outlook, even before being saved.



SonInMe1 -> RE: Looking Down On Someone... (9/14/2008 5:39:04 AM)

Carry a gun.



Covaan_Meshuga -> RE: Looking Down On Someone... (9/14/2008 10:02:14 AM)

MyCat, there is a very simple solution: get some experience mingling with people of all ages other than whites. Seriously. What you wrote are the words of someone who has not experienced nearly enough of society.

Here, on the forums, it is great, because you have no idea whom you are chatting with. Am I in my office, in my pajamas, or in a satin robe in an ornate room with heavy draperies pulled back to view the lake? What color am I -- really? Is that a stock photo, me, or a friend? Am I male or female? Coffee, tea, or vodka for breakfast? Am I really who I claim to be here, or am I pastor looking for sermon material? A predator? A wife-abuser? A husband-abuser?

But the problem is that on this forum, most of us don't have real relationships; they are cyber-relationships. You communicate easily here, but that communication is not on a truly personal level. It is not enough.

I suggest you go to the local college and take some courses that freshmen are likely to take, so you can meet with some of these young people who make you uncomfortable. Or volunteer at your local high school in a way that you are with the students. Or get a part-time job in a coffee shop near a school for awhile. Volunteer at a homeless shelter. Volunteer with Love INC. Work in a local church that gives away free food. Just think of something you can do to introduce yourself to the real world outside your social circles, doing whatever will get you "out there."

People everywhere are just people. We are all just different versions of the same stuff.



MyCatSmokey2006 -> RE: Looking Down On Someone... (9/14/2008 5:27:47 PM)

I thank all of you for your comments so far. You're right, I need to stop doing this. I'm learning to overcome some of this problem little by little, but it's hard. Today, I picked up a friend of mine, who is black and we went out to eat. Before leaving the house, I prayed to God for strength to overcome my fears of driving to that part of town. I was anxious the whole time, but I trusted God to let nothing happen to either of us and nothing did, so I praise Him for His wonderful love and protection!

Today, I asked God to forgive me for looking down on other people and to give me opportunitiesto minister to them, while keeping me safe from those who would hurt me. I also asked forgiveness for judging people by appearances and actions, rather than loving them with God's love.



Covaan_Meshuga -> RE: Looking Down On Someone... (9/14/2008 11:54:39 PM)

But I'll tell you this: if I ever needed anyone to tell the truth under difficult circumstances, I would call on MyCat. It takes guts to admit what you did. A lot of other people feel that way and won't admit it. Furthermore, a lot of people feel that way, seeing nothing wrong with it, and not seeking help or solutions.



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