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Prairiehiker -> "marriage" (9/13/2008 8:27:33 AM)

I went out with an old friend/previous flame who spent the whole day yesterday talking about marriage and relationships. Even when our conversation went to a different topic, he always brought it back to the topic of marriage. It sort of scared me a bit, but at the same time, I was curious so I asked a lot of questions. It sounded like he's thought this through quite a bit. So, when a man starts talking more about marriage, or being married, not to a specific person, is that an indication that he's at the stage that he's ready to make a commitment or at least, he's looking for the right person to settle down with?



humbleinspirit -> RE: "marriage" (9/13/2008 5:33:12 PM)

Yes, I would say that is true.



John_O -> RE: "marriage" (9/13/2008 7:43:16 PM)

Almost always. The one exception is certain unscrupulous men who use it as a way to score.

It seems like this guy though was more serious about it. Could be a good thing brewing.



Prairiehiker -> RE: "marriage" (9/14/2008 12:05:41 AM)

quote:

Almost always. The one exception is certain unscrupulous men who use it as a way to score.

It seems like this guy though was more serious about it. Could be a good thing brewing.


I hate to say it, but intuition tells me that your first statement is more likely true about this guy, than your second statement.



John_O -> RE: "marriage" (9/14/2008 12:32:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

quote:

Almost always. The one exception is certain unscrupulous men who use it as a way to score.

It seems like this guy though was more serious about it. Could be a good thing brewing.


I hate to say it, but intuition tells me that your first statement is more likely true about this guy, than your second statement.



Truly sad. Intuition or discernment? Keep in prayer and watch him close.



Prairiehiker -> RE: "marriage" (9/14/2008 2:20:04 PM)

quote:

Truly sad. Intuition or discernment? Keep in prayer and watch him close.


Thanks, John. It's been a really sad day. I'm leaving it all up to the Lord.



iwillfearnoevil -> RE: "marriage" (9/15/2008 9:33:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: John_O
Almost always. The one exception is certain unscrupulous men who use it as a way to score.


agreed especially if this is an old flame



URForgiven -> RE: "marriage" (9/15/2008 10:01:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

I went out with an old friend/previous flame who spent the whole day yesterday talking about marriage and relationships. Even when our conversation went to a different topic, he always brought it back to the topic of marriage. It sort of scared me a bit, but at the same time, I was curious so I asked a lot of questions. It sounded like he's thought this through quite a bit. So, when a man starts talking more about marriage, or being married, not to a specific person, is that an indication that he's at the stage that he's ready to make a commitment or at least, he's looking for the right person to settle down with?


Not necessarily. He may be at the stage where he wants to just get married. And in that stage the wrong person will many times look exactly like "the right person".

There is a big difference between wanting to get married and wanting to be married.

Peace



DaveW -> RE: "marriage" (9/15/2008 1:39:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

Thanks, John. It's been a really sad day. I'm leaving it all up to the Lord.
So sorry to hear that.



Prairiehiker -> RE: "marriage" (9/15/2008 4:31:47 PM)

I don’t believe that “scoring” was his motivation for doing what he did, but it was more likely revenge and to get his bruised ego stroked. I walked away from him before because of commitment issues from his part, so, he laid it on really thick to get me to cave. He didn’t want me back. He just wanted to see if I will give in to him if he says all the right words; all the things that I wanted to hear from him. And I hate to admit, he was beyond charming that I fell for him hard. It was a game, which unfortunately, I didn’t know how to play. Quite sad, but I did ask God to show me what’s in his heart before I agreed to spend the day with him. I thought I saw it during our hike, but his true heart is probably what I’m seeing right now.

As much as it hurts, God has my back. At least, this time, I can finally move on and get over him once and for all.



Prairiehiker -> RE: "marriage" (9/24/2008 12:50:56 PM)

Could I have been wrong? He sent me an email today to wish me a happy birthday....sent it through a different email account so it went through. I blocked him out completely.

He said I was narrowminded and judgemental and he always wanted to spend my birthday with me. But it doesn't explain why my emails went unanswered and my invitations were ignored for a week before I sent the death threat...

I don't knwo if i should respond....I'm lost. I'm sure I wont' respond today as it's my birthday and I don't want to ruin it. Please comment...

I



John_O -> RE: "marriage" (9/24/2008 1:20:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

Could I have been wrong? He sent me an email today to wish me a happy birthday....sent it through a different email account so it went through. I blocked him out completely.

He said I was narrowminded and judgemental and he always wanted to spend my birthday with me. But it doesn't explain why my emails went unanswered and my invitations were ignored for a week before I sent the death threat...

I don't knwo if i should respond....I'm lost. I'm sure I wont' respond today as it's my birthday and I don't want to ruin it. Please comment...

I


I'd suggest not even going there.

Take a good hard look at this.

1. Has his presence in your life lately been a net positive or a net negative (from the part we've seen you relate here it hasn't been so good)

2. Have his words to you been encouraging or condemning (you "narrowminded and judgemental" person you)

3. Does your spirit bear witness to his? I'd guess no.



iwillfearnoevil -> RE: "marriage" (9/24/2008 1:34:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
I don't knwo if i should respond....I'm lost. I'm sure I wont' respond today as it's my birthday and I don't want to ruin it. Please comment...


by saying you are "narrowminded and judgemental" it doesn't sound like he was sorry for treating you "like ****" or for making you "totally frustrated and hurt". not sure i'd want to personally try to reunite with an old flame under those terms. also if he really wanted to do something with you for your birthday, shouldn't he have asked you out last week when you met for dinner, instead of waiting for last minute. nonetheless, happy birthday!



Prairiehiker -> RE: "marriage" (9/24/2008 2:58:58 PM)

Thanks to you both, John and Ed (is it?). I'm leaning towards not responding to it or leaving it until I come back from my birthday break. I have no intention of going back and forth and hashing it out. I'm really done. Perhaps, the only think I truly want at this point, is to say goodbye nicely, as opposed to how I blasted him through email (OK, not really blasting, but the email was layered with the word "player" in it).

Nonetheless, I'll think about it while I'm on my get away, and see if God led me to fire up a nicer Dear John email (and no, it's not directed at you John...not every thing revolves around you ,lol.)

Thanks again....



Prairiehiker -> RE: "marriage" (9/24/2008 3:08:55 PM)

quote:

3. Does your spirit bear witness to his? I'd guess no.


I was very condemning in my "confrontation" email to him. I'm surprised he even found a way to contact me since I blocked him. I'm not the calmest person when it comes to feeling like I've been played....so, yeah, we're both condemning each other....and it's a cycle that I don't want to continue.

And yes John, it wasn't a complete waste of time (3.5) years, because I actually learned who I am because of his influence on me. But there's also some negative things. I don't try to net the two against each other as they are separate things. When I look back at this, I'm still grateful that it happened. It makes me more ready for the real one.



John_O -> RE: "marriage" (9/24/2008 4:31:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Nonetheless, I'll think about it while I'm on my get away, and see if God led me to fire up a nicer Dear John email (and no, it's not directed at you John...


That's good. Getting a Dear John letter is bad enough. gettng one from someone I'm not involved with would really hurt!


quote:


not every thing revolves around you ,lol.)


WHAT!? Surely that's not true![:D]

(Ow! Ouch! OK OK you can stop kicking me now! Ouch! I'm sorry. I'll fix it!)

The OH (who apparently just got back from vacation) demands that I point out that I am insignificant in this world and in the lives of almost everyone in it. And I recognize that, no matter what I may say.

(Is that better? Good.)

It's hard to have Overwhelming Humility



Prairiehiker -> RE: "marriage" (9/24/2008 5:10:41 PM)

Dear John,

I truly appreciate all the help you've given me. YOu have helped me so much through all of this. But as sad as it may be for me, this issue has come to an end, and I won't be needing you in this thread anymore. I'm closing this chapter for good. It's been good, John. I'm sure there's a lot of other women who will appreciate your words of wisdom and humour. Go seek them John, as there's nothing left here for you. I'm sorry. Goodbye.

PH...

LOL. Sorry, can't let you get away....now, now, do n't go thinking that the world really does revolved around you....



John_O -> RE: "marriage" (9/24/2008 10:19:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

Dear John,

I truly appreciate all the help you've given me. YOu have helped me so much through all of this. But as sad as it may be for me, this issue has come to an end, and I won't be needing you in this thread anymore. I'm closing this chapter for good. It's been good, John. I'm sure there's a lot of other women who will appreciate your words of wisdom and humour. Go seek them John, as there's nothing left here for you. I'm sorry. Goodbye.

PH...


[:(][sm=icon_smile_sad.gif][sm=widecry.gif][sm=icon_smile_cry.gif][sm=crystreams.gif][sm=crystreams.gif][sm=crystreams.gif]

Used, abused and thrown away. Same old story all over again[sm=crystreams.gif][sm=crystreams.gif][sm=crystreams.gif]



quote:

LOL. Sorry, can't let you get away....now, now, don't go thinking that the world really does revolved around you....


You mean it really doesn't

(Don't kick me OH I'm just joking!)



OneJohn410 -> RE: "marriage" (9/25/2008 1:46:34 AM)

Oh, chin up, camper John_O. At least she understands you.

Are you ready, Prairiehiker? Well, too bad, here I go again.

"MAH-WIDGE! Mah-widge is de Weason Why we are gath-urrred here tooday! And Wuuvve, pure wuuve... ."

Alrightie, a little birthday fun, name that movie.

1. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
C. Star Wars VII, Revenge of the George
4. Pirates of the Carribbean: Curse of the Bad Apple
H. The Princess Bride & her DreadPirateRandy
9. Cliffhanger
10. K2



Prairiehiker -> RE: "marriage" (9/25/2008 8:59:07 AM)

hmmm.........The only movies I've seen out of the choices are K2 and Cliffhanger and both are forgettable, so I doubt that I'd even remember if those lines came from there. But I'll take a stab at it? Is it from Pirate of the carribean, for $1000, OneJohn?

What did I win? What did I win?



John_O -> RE: "marriage" (9/25/2008 9:30:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneJohn410

Oh, chin up, camper John_O. At least she understands you.


That's what scares me.



quote:

"MAH-WIDGE! Mah-widge is de Weason Why we are gath-urrred here tooday! And Wuuvve, pure wuuve... ."


One of the most quotable movies from the last 20 years!! And it's on topic too! (except it's not "pure wuuve" It's "Twue wuuve")



Prairiehiker -> RE: "marriage" (9/25/2008 9:36:52 AM)

Oh, now, you've succeeded in making me feel totally out of touch with the current pop culture, lol. Ii've been hiding a big rock for the last few years.

I'll google it and see what I come up with....



OneJohn410 -> RE: "marriage" (9/25/2008 10:22:21 AM)

How can I succeed in something I would never intend? Google can be so overly informative. It is a quote out of choice H, forgetting mention to one of its almost characters at the end of that choice.

Hey PH, maybe you like reading vs. the cinema? Maybe you've read A Walk Across America / its follow-up? Those movies... lots of mountains. Maybe the lesser elevations? Just from memory, I'm thinking Peter Jenkins wrote those.



Prairiehiker -> RE: "marriage" (9/25/2008 11:04:43 AM)

quote:

Hey PH, maybe you like reading vs. the cinema? Maybe you've read A Walk Across America / its follow-up? Those movies... lots of mountains. Maybe the lesser elevations? Just from memory, I'm thinking Peter Jenkins wrote those.


Hey, you have great faith in me, lol. Nah, I'm not that intellectual that I would never pass up a great crash/boom movie for a book,lol but since you mentioned that book, I'll put it in my to read list after my exam is done .....whew...gotta catch my breath there....(yup, sat through a Die Hard marathon twice...sorry to shatter your image of me...). I am halfway through Mere Christianity though...so there's gotta be some brain cells needing some stimulation in me...

I love adventure books and movies and I've probably read most of them...the last one being Into the Wild, Phantom Lord, and Into thin Air. Wild is somewhat along the lines of the the Jenkins one. Read it...or watch the movie if you're a movie guy....both are good........



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