Acceptance (Full Version)

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PopsiLufsJesus -> Acceptance (9/11/2008 8:28:03 PM)

I don't know if this is supposed to be in the "Relationships" category.

I've had acceptance issues for a while. I always think that the people that I love the most are going to turn their backs on me and or leave my life. Sometimes that causes me to distance myself from them and sometimes that causes me to be clingy. It just depends.

When I think about it too often or too much I tend to hurt!

Any suggestions on how to come through "acceptance" issues?



deermousie -> RE: Acceptance (9/11/2008 11:03:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PopsiLufsJesus

I don't know if this is supposed to be in the "Relationships" category.

I've had acceptance issues for a while. I always think that the people that I love the most are going to turn their backs on me and or leave my life. Sometimes that causes me to distance myself from them and sometimes that causes me to be clingy. It just depends.

When I think about it too often or too much I tend to hurt!

Any suggestions on how to come through "acceptance" issues?


Ooh, yeah. Repeat after me:

1. People are no darn good. Sinners, in fact.
2. God loves people and sacrificed Himself to save them (and doesn't get much in return for it) and do them good.
3. If people are so important to God then as a Christian they need to be important to me, too. I can sacrifice myself for them and live a life pleasing my God (and occasionally getting some positive strokes from others... but I'm not holding my breath!) and getting my positive strokes from Him (like, "Well done, good and faithful servant - enter into the joy of My Kingdom"). That's true acceptance.

We can pray that God will put people in our lives to feed us emotionally. Hopefully our families will do that, too, but many don't. Sometimes we just have to put our heads down and keep plowing if we're alone. It's hard. God promises us His company, and if no one will go with me, I'll go alone.

If we do it for ourselves, we'll starve to death. If we spend ourselves for the benefit of others then we are a team with God, He will use us and glorify Himself and bless us. Of course, He blesses us anyway, and it's neat that we are blessed so we can be a blessing to others.. .And He puts the lonely in families.



rgod -> RE: Acceptance (9/11/2008 11:45:58 PM)

Popsi,

I feel for you and understand where you are coming from. I have been there and am still healing. Here is some advice.

1. Make a decision that you really want to have some healing in this area. Pray to the Lord about it and let him know that you want to be healed no matter what. Let him know that you do know that he can heal you. Read Isaiah 61:1-3 and meditate on it.

2. Set aside time to spend with the Lord concerning this issue. Start absorbing His acceptance of you. This is your foundation. Not sure where to start? Try these scriptures: Jer 31:3, Isaiah 62:2-5, 12, John 15:16, 2 Thess 2:13, 1 Pet 2:9-10, Heb 13:5. There are plenty more.

3. Start praying and asking God about the root cause of this issue. Sounds like some sort of abandonment issue from your brief description. I HIGHLY recommend the following book: "Our Unmet Needs" by Charles Stanley. Even if you can get it from the library or flip through it at a bookstore - I think you would be very blessed by it. He talks about acceptance very thoroughly and from a biblical perspective. I really think it would bless you.

4. When you are ready to trust people, you are going to have to determine who is safe to trust and who isn't. One good method to use is to open yourself to people bit by bit - gradually. There is a technique called "Share-Check-Share" - you share a bit of yourself, you check for their reaction and how you feel inside - what you feel that the Lord is telling you - then when you are comfortable, you share more. If you become uncomfortable you stop sharing.

5. Pray to be in a good environment with safe people. God has done that for me and can do the same for you. Also, if someone hurts you (and they will - people are human and frail - are sinners - so even if they don't mean to hurt you - they might trigger something that makes you feel rejected or unaccepted ...) ask God to help you forgive them right away. Don't let it fester - because it makes things harder and keeps you trapped. Instead, give the emotions of anger, fear, shame, whatever you are feeling to God. Speak to him like you would your best friend - in other words vent. Then forgive that person, ask God to close up any wounds in your spirit or emotions that it left, ask God to help you forgive the person if you can't do it yourself. This will help you to progress further so that one day you'll be free of this and you'll be able to connect with people in a way that you weren't able to before.

Be blessed Popsi - many have gone through this and Jesus can heal your hurts and pain. Just be open to him and his personal way of dealing with this issue in your life. He might send a friend - someone who can be a role model to you in this area, books, conversations, songs, anything. He wants to heal you. Just be open to his leading and guidance.



PopsiLufsJesus -> RE: Acceptance (9/12/2008 12:32:07 AM)

I like what you had to say Deermousie and I understand that I will never get my COMPLETENESS from anyone apart from Christ. There will never be anyone who can LOVE me like He can. He should always be my source. Sometimes it's difficult to draw from my Source in the emotional way that I need because He is not physical and or visible.

Rgod, thanks you for all of your suggestions and the scriptures. I am going to look them up and meditate on them. If I come across that book or can find it I will give it a looksy. Thanks for your gentle spirit! :)



preserved -> RE: Acceptance (9/12/2008 11:27:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PopsiLufsJesus

I don't know if this is supposed to be in the "Relationships" category.

I've had acceptance issues for a while. I always think that the people that I love the most are going to turn their backs on me and or leave my life. Sometimes that causes me to distance myself from them and sometimes that causes me to be clingy. It just depends.

When I think about it too often or too much I tend to hurt!

Any suggestions on how to come through "acceptance" issues?


It is not receptance that you are dealing with..it is the ability to trust...Put your faith and trust in God...and let his will be done thru others.



deermousie -> RE: Acceptance (9/12/2008 11:42:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PopsiLufsJesus

I understand that I will never get my COMPLETENESS from anyone apart from Christ. There will never be anyone who can LOVE me like He can. He should always be my source. Sometimes it's difficult to draw from my Source in the emotional way that I need because He is not physical and or visible.


That's right, PopsiLufsJesus; God made us to need one another,and that's why He established the Church (the body of believers, not the building). The problem with the Church is that it's full of sinners who let us down.* So we can be grateful when one doesn't let us down, but if they all let us down, we keep truckin' and trusting God. It certainly can be lonely; let it drive you to His arms. And pray he'll give you some arms in your Christian family.

*Kinda sounds like King Edward I of England's comment that the problem with Scotland was that it was full of Scots! [:D] The Scots cleaned England's clock in 1314. It's in the movie "Braveheart" and it really happened.



PopsiLufsJesus -> RE: Acceptance (9/12/2008 11:48:02 PM)

My Pastor talked about Braveheart in his sermon this Sunday. The sermon was on fighting and he quoted something from the movie...don't rightly remember tho...

thanks :)



sunshine4God -> RE: Acceptance (9/14/2008 3:57:23 PM)

I don't really know what to say but can relate exactly to what you are going through! I feel the same way many times.



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