Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (Full Version)

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nicole6598 -> Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/7/2008 9:11:32 PM)

Hi everyone
Thanks so much to all the women, my dear friends you are, who have been posting to me and helping me through this hard time. I so appreciate it very much.
A big big big thanks to Nicole (inbetweendreams) for updating everyone and sticking by me, you are the best!

Jae- thank you so much for sharing what you did, it has given me some hope. If God can work in your marriage, he can work in mine.

Thank you to everyone else who has shared their stories and opinions and prayers and love. It is holding me up through this time where I feel kind of isolated, not able to share with my mum who I am staying with. She knows a bit but not much.

We have two friends back home whose hubby's are close with mine, they would be his best friends there, they are going to speak into his life and encourage him while I am here at my mothers.

I have an appointment to see a nurse tomorrow about Nath. from there we will work things out. it is unlikely they think i will get into the house they want to send me to for 3 days for help with Nath as there is month long waiting lists and they don't accpet babies over 12 months. once that is up you are on your own apart from a day service in your community. I still don't think its behavioural like they say but I will do what they want in order to show them if it doesn't work that i have done what they said, now they need to do what I say.

I will have to speak to hubby tonight as he is calling to check what the nurse said.
I just don't know why he is like this. I know I need to give him space but I am so scared. I can't even really pray at the moment, my mind is a muddle of confusion. I need some space and quiet to just abide for a while. I will try get back on this when i can, until then my dear dear Nicole (CAN) will keep you updated.
Words can not express my love and appreciation for you all.



Nicole_Michelle -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/7/2008 9:48:34 PM)

I hope that when your husband calls that it is an easy phone call. He should be happy that you got another appt so soon!

And yes, give yourself space... for your sanity if anything! When I feel overwhelmed I know I need space away from the situation that is overwhelming me. So yes, please please please just focus on you and your kids right now so that your mind can clear and you can talk to God without feeling so out of it.

Just know that your hubby probably isn't sleeping well ( I am sure Nath keeps him up a lot too) and that he is most likely totally overwhelmed to so he does deserve some peace and quiet time too. I know Lorne needs quiet times and I make sure I let him have that time so he can think, talk to God, pray and then come to me and talk when he is good and ready. And then when we talk we both know the right things to say. [;)]

((((((((((((hugs and prayers)))))))))

You'll have to let me know what you want me to post so I don't post too much. I don't want to write down things that you don't want the whole world knowing. [8D] But I am more than happy to keep everyone updated.



firefightermama -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/7/2008 9:59:26 PM)

Nicole, I'm on my way to bed and only have a second, but thinking of you and praying for you.



daughter_of_faith -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/7/2008 10:10:43 PM)

Nicole (AUS), how is Grace holding up with everything? I'm just kind of curious as she's older than Nath & probably sees/knows more of what is going on. ((hugs)) & prayers....hope you're able to figure out whatever is going on with your precious little boy & work through the disagreements with DH.

~God bless~



isaacsmom -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/7/2008 10:20:54 PM)

(((((((Nicole)))))))) I'm praying for each of you. You, your husband, Nath and Grace.



Karaboo2 -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/7/2008 10:24:47 PM)

Nicole, just a thought regarding all of the consults with physicians for Nath ... is there a shop nearby where you can cheaply get a set of nursing scrubs? Over here, we can just pick up a set at Walmart. I've noticed that when I'm wearing my scrubs, the MDs are a lot less likely to dismiss my concerns.

Praying for you and your hubby, and for better mental clarity for you (so that you are able to start praying again as well)



Room2Grow -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/7/2008 10:33:41 PM)

Nicole- You have been struggling for so long- try to use this time for your own renewal as much as you can. Is it possible for you to get counseling from a pastor/marriage counselor? With all that Nathan is putting you through right now I know any time you have is precious, but it may be necessary for you right now. We love and support you, but you need someone in real life too with some expertise.

From day one I have felt that he is having allergy issues- have they done the celiac test yet? I think you are right to "humor them" so that they will in turn listen to you more. You have sought help, been persistent- you are doing well by him.

As for your husband, give him space. You are right to try to work things out, but at some point, he needs to have some consequences too. I truly think you need some on the ground help with this- also, try calling focus on the family- they have an 800 number that works from your neck of the woods (I used it when in the Marianas and having marital issues- they listened and sent me three different books immediately and at no charge- I had no church and no pastor there, no friends either, so they were a real life line for me). Hang in there, someday you will look back on all of this and realize how much you have grown- it is certainly no fun now and will not be for a time to come, but you WILL get through this.

Praying...



daughter_of_faith -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/7/2008 10:39:50 PM)

Might not be a bad thought....the nursing scrubs. It would be sad if that was the case. Shouldn't have to be that way at all!!!

Nicole, I had a thought earlier....and maybe you've already tried this....or maybe you will not be interested. But...have you ever tried gripe water? Yes, there really is such a thing. That's literally what it's called....it's available OTC here in the US.



Mrs.X -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/7/2008 11:29:14 PM)

(((((((((Nicole))))))))))I've been following, just haven't had anything to add. I'll be praying for you though. God really can do amazing things in marriage. He's done it in mine. My marriage still isn't all that great, but Robert doesn't hit me anymore, and he hasn't since like December 2005. I
truly believed he was delivered from it.



nicole6598 -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/7/2008 11:34:20 PM)

Nicole- Thank you, I will contact you through facebook, I won't be able to get on here tomorrow I don't think until later in the night as my mum takes her computer to work with her.

Megan- she is holding up ok I guess. She has been a little "naughty" I guess, shouting when she's asked to do something and sulking a little. She doesn't know anything is wrong with me and her Daddy, she just knows that something is wrong with Nath and we need to get him fixed. I have tried gripe water before, he also has an antacid, and infant gaviscon and medication etc. My nanna has suggested I call the gastroentology dept and see if they can fit me in earlier while I am here.

Thank you everyone else for your prayers and encouragement. I have to go now, but thank you all for your prayers and support.



TwinCityGirl -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/8/2008 12:03:10 AM)

Nicole,

I will keep praying for you and your family. We are all here asking God to heal the hurts there.

Jeanie


(Nicole/CAN: could you post Nicole/AUS updates in a different color when you post them? That would be handy-dandy for separating which Nicole said which sentence....just an idea.) [;)]



nicole6598 -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/8/2008 1:08:53 AM)

I have an appointment in an hour or so with a private Paed!!!!!! they fit me in just today. praise God now just praying hubby is ok about me taking him, my nanna is helping to pay for the consult.



nicole6598 -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/8/2008 5:44:18 AM)

the paed said its behvaioural too. That's 3 people who have said that. They say I need to do 10 days of controlled crying and weaning. He wanted me to do it real drastically but I am going to wean slowly and do the controlled crying as I can. hubby is coming thurs, fri, sat night to support me through it.
Please pray for me and my mum as we do this. I am very very emotional about this. I don't want to go down this track but I have no support to do anything else at the moment.



firefightermama -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/8/2008 6:42:45 AM)

Nicole, I agree that it might be time to wean. Maybe start with that, and don't worry about controlled crying, or sleep training or whatever until you've successfully weaned... one thing at a time might be a little easier on everybody?

How much does he still nurse each day? I couldn't believe how fast my body adjusted when I started nursing only at night, and then only at bedtime....I think we were fully weaned within a week.

Anything specific you want us to pray for?



myka -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/8/2008 9:38:24 AM)

(((((Nicole)))))

I'm so sorry that you aren't getting support for anything else right now. I'm praying for you all, too.



Flintejae -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/8/2008 9:51:07 AM)

I'm sorry, Nicole. I don't know what to say! I am saying prayers for you today.



lexie -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/8/2008 10:25:53 AM)

Hi Nicole,

You know I'm praying for you girl. I've told you so many times that I think you are an amazingly strong woman, and I'm going to keep telling you that. Because even if you feel like you are not, or you feel however negative about yourself you are doing your best for your children and you are committed to your marriage and that is what makes you strong.

You are a wonderful example of faith in Jesus Christ and Christian living because a lot of people in the world and a lot of people in the church probably wouldn't be as committed as you are to finding out the answer for your child and for working on your marriage.

(((hugs)))



reach -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/8/2008 11:04:47 AM)

Nicole - I am proud of you! You are an awesome Mother! I will be praying for you!



Mrs.X -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/8/2008 11:11:20 AM)

Praying too, Nicole. Do you think it's behavioral? You know your Nath better than any doctor. It just strikes me as odd that a baby his age is capable of manipulation. I didn't think that was possible. ((((((Nicole)))))))



HisCovenant -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/8/2008 12:48:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lexie

Hi Nicole,

You know I'm praying for you girl. I've told you so many times that I think you are an amazingly strong woman, and I'm going to keep telling you that. Because even if you feel like you are not, or you feel however negative about yourself you are doing your best for your children and you are committed to your marriage and that is what makes you strong.

You are a wonderful example of faith in Jesus Christ and Christian living because a lot of people in the world and a lot of people in the church probably wouldn't be as committed as you are to finding out the answer for your child and for working on your marriage.

(((hugs)))

Lexie- you are a wise woman!!

Hugs, Nicole!!



Nicole_Michelle -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/8/2008 1:04:45 PM)

I don't have any updates because right now Nicole is sleeping (hopefully) and doesn't usually write to me till around 4:30 my time (5.5 hours from now).

Jeanie, good idea. I will post what she says in green .

If Nicole is able to get on her mum's computer I am sure she will update you ladies herself. Lately she writes to me using her phone because she doesn't have a computer available all the time.



nicole6598 -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/8/2008 7:18:18 PM)

Hi everyone
thank you so much for your encouragment and prayers. I really know that your prayers are holding me up at this time and helping all of us. My mum has been very helpful when normally by now I would be pulling my hair out. So God is moving.

(Lexie I am sorry I haven't personally replied to you yet, I love you though and thank God for you!. Thank you for encouraging me and building me up.

Reach-thanks for your encouragment

Myka- thank you too!

Yo- I am going to wean slowly. He has only had one feed this morning now and I will do one more before bed and I will drop them over the week. LOL how weird is it that I complain about feeding and then when I am told to stop cold turkey I am beside myself not wanting to. Oh dear.

Christina- I didn't think it was possible either, but I didn't go into him once last night and he went to sleep.

Janine- I am so grateful you shared with me when you did. All I keep thinking is, Jae did it so can I. Jae and Jason worked it out, so can I. Your story has given me hope. I really look up to you with admiration. And I have been doing what you suggested which I will get into below. But hugs and kisses to you.

Nicole- as always, I love you!! Simple :)

Well last night my sister and my nanna were here so they did alot of stuff while I spoke to people back home about things. We patted him to sleep on our shoulders the first sleep then he woke at 9pm. we tried for 30 mins to settle him but he wouldn't. By then my nanna and sister had left. So mum said she would start the controlled crying for me. I think it took 45 mins altogether but he went to sleep for 3.5 hours on his own. (longest stretch in weeks). He then woke again and it took 30 mins the next time. I prayed at about the 15 min mark and I kid you not, when I prayed, he stopped instantly! One minute it was screaming, next he was silent. he then slept, wait for it, 5.5 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All on his own. No feeds or anything. amazing. My poor mum got about 4 hours sleep total and has to go to work today so I am so grateful for her. I couldn't sleep alot, my body has got used to waking, and then I was awake stressing etc.

I spoke with hubby and the Paed suggested that he come down to assist to help Nath break from me. So he said he would come down for sure Thurs, Fri and Sat. I told him I was so grateful and missed him, he said he was missing us. Which is a start. My sister and mum are going to watch the kids tonight so I can visit my best friend. Then on friday they will watch them again so hubby and I can go out bowling and just have some fun together. When I told hubby the first time he wasn't that keen, but later on when I said it again he said "sounds good Nic". My friend who has been counselling me over the phone and her hubby have been praying and the hubby (who is one of hubby's best mates) went and saw him yesterday. They had a good chat. The friend said that hubby needed to work on encouraging me a little more and spending some time heleping a little more with the kids if he can. They are going to catch up with him again Wed night before he comes down. I called him in the middle of the night (he was working) and told him how mum had got him to sleep and how I just needed to hear his voice as it was hard on me. He said "you are doing good". So at the moment I am clinging to those words.

Janine (and everyone else) I finally prayed for myself last night and asked God to show me where I need to change and repent. I know that I try and take the lead alot. I know that I do doubt his intelligence on subjects and think I know best. I know that alot of my energy is spent on the kids. I know that I could encourage him more and build him up more than I do. I think the biggest thing he has a problem with is my questioning him, so I am going to start there. I noticed in the car on the way down grace kept asking me questions and I kept answering. Then I thought last night " I should of let him answer or say, hmm I don't know, lets ask Daddy". Is that something I could do more do you think?

For those who have had kids during rough times, how can I make sure to nurture my marriage without neglecting the kids too much?
I won't be on again til tomorrow morning, but Nicole will update you with anything, and when you have brainwaves she lets me know. Nicole is awesome. [:)]



Nicole_Michelle -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/8/2008 7:27:00 PM)

Awwwww Nicole! Things sound like they are starting to look up! Yay for Nath sleeping! And yay for your hubby coming down on thursday! And yay for his friend talking to him like that and your friend talking to you and praying for you! And yay for you praying for yourself!!! And yay!!!!! [:D]

I am so proud of you! I wish I could hug you in person!

Love you so very much! (((((((((((((Nicole)))))))))))))))) And yes, those hugs are for you this time! [:D]



Mrs.X -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/8/2008 7:35:24 PM)

Yay Nicole! Everything sounds good!



Mrs.X -> RE: Nicole's happily ever after encouragment and support thread (9/8/2008 7:57:21 PM)

Hey, I wanted to correct myself from earlier. I don't believe babies Nathan's age are capable of manipulation. My friend's baby had similar sleep issues, and she believes that it was partly association. He associated his gas with his mom coming to pick him up, and after she started controlled crying, the baby seemed to get better. So, I just wanted to clarify that babies are not capable of manipulation, but they can sometimes get into habits because of association.



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