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RE: Show me the parents!!!!!!! - 9/4/2008 11:04:31 AM
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joy2give2u
Posts: 5063
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From: Indiana
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Really??? I missed that response..........how sad some think that way.
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Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
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RE: Show me the parents!!!!!!! - 9/4/2008 11:05:51 AM
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CoeurdeLeon
Posts: 9501
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From: Inside my head
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quote:
ORIGINAL: joy2give2u
Really??? I missed that response..........how sad some think that way.
Agreed.
_____________________________
This morning I was awakened by the sound of purple
colliding with the fragrance of laughter.
Eutychus
10.13.08
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RE: Show me the parents!!!!!!! - 9/4/2008 11:23:24 AM
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WaitingforBoaz
Posts: 3936
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_
Ugh! I had a great post all typed up too!!! 
Anyway...what I had said was, it does beg to look at parents sometimes to kind of get an idea as to how someone is or will be.
My parents are very biting, sarcastic, hard people. They love their family, but they are very snide about it. My mother can't give me or my brother a compliment unless it's served backhanded and my father feels he's the only one who knows anything and doesn't validate anyone's opinion other than his.
So if anyone were to meet my parents after meeting me they would be like, 'Ahh...now I see where she gets it from.' You know?
It helps open the door to understanding and grace.(this time I'm C&Ping my post!) 
The quoted section is true to some extent, but shouldn't the understanding and grace be something that is needed after the fact, after you are married?
You can have a family of 5.
The father is an alcholic, and the mother is co-dependent.
Of the three children the likelihood of there being an alcholic is very high. There is also very high probability that there will be one that is completely dry, will never take a drink in his life and is the polar opposite of his parents.
The above scenario is not my life, but it is a good comparison in another way.
I thank God for my parents. They are very "good" people. But I do not wish to be like them. (of course I want to be good though  )
My parents are passive, passionless, undemonstrative and I don't think either one could come up with something worth dying for. They were both brought up in church,(not born again) but they never talked about God. They were always "there" but we spent very little time together. They have run their financial lives with wisdom, unfortunately they never shared this wisdom with their children when they were young so we all had to learn from our own mistakes. They are very detached. For their retirement, they chose to move across country and away from all of their kids and grandchildren. They are liberal Dem and I am a conservative Rep.
I have chosen not to be like them. I was not like them in almost twenty years of marriage and I am not like them in my parenting. Again, I love them and respect them, I know they did their best. I just wanted something different.
I modeled my life after my Paternal Grandmother. However I look nothing like her.
_____________________________
"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams.... he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." - Henry David Thoreau
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RE: Show me the parents!!!!!!! - 9/4/2008 11:49:18 AM
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landabee
Posts: 2867
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Central Florida
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
And yet, when I posted there was a response here, that has since been deleted apparently, saying "If her parents look okay, she'll probably look okay".
Which is why I quote things that I know may "disappear" when the heat is on. 
Not to worry. I saw it. Others did too.
Twasn't imagination.
As for how my parents are:
My mom was very even tempered, faithful and a bit reserved.
My dad is even tempered, faithful and racous.
I'm even tempered, with some morose moments, faithful and depending on the situation: reserved or racous.
Both of my parents were/are highly intelligent. I'm no slouch either.
As for looks. Well, my mom was pleasantly soft. (20 to 25 pounds extra).
My dad is usually about 20 to 25 over, too.
Me? Well, I'm quite a bit softer than my mom. 
_____________________________
"Sound theology discourages ignorance instead of promoting it." ~ CourdeLeon
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RE: Show me the parents!!!!!!! - 9/4/2008 1:37:19 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
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From: upstate NY
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so i guess no one is for genetic testing to determine if their husband is more likely to be distant after marriage or have an affair or be a loyal partner? cause i was just reading yesterday how they've isolated the gene in males. i know everyone has free will (not trying to bring another calvinism argument to singles) and it's no guarantee but it's pretty amazing i was just reading about a new study yesterday and almost posted it for a little controversy here.
how parents look really wouldn't be a factor for me, but i wonder why SO many people post about weight (slender) and other physical attractive qualities on a present day list and don't care about a future list?
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Photoblogging My Life
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RE: Show me the parents!!!!!!! - 9/4/2008 2:59:08 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil
so i guess no one is for genetic testing to determine if their husband is more likely to be distant after marriage or have an affair or be a loyal partner? cause i was just reading yesterday how they've isolated the gene in males. i know everyone has free will (not trying to bring another calvinism argument to singles) and it's no guarantee but it's pretty amazing i was just reading about a new study yesterday and almost posted it for a little controversy here.
how parents look really wouldn't be a factor for me, but i wonder why SO many people post about weight (slender) and other physical attractive qualities on a present day list and don't care about a future list?
Marriage problems? Husbands genes may be to blame
I read that study. Now I have a good excuse just in case I ever need it. (But since I will be a good husband I won't need it)
Good point about the future weight thing. Genetics does enter into our decisions whether we admit it or not. It's nice to know there won't be any major surprises.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Show me the parents!!!!!!! - 9/4/2008 4:03:43 PM
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WaitingforBoaz
Posts: 3936
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil
so i guess no one is for genetic testing to determine if their husband is more likely to be distant after marriage or have an affair or be a loyal partner? cause i was just reading yesterday how they've isolated the gene in males. i know everyone has free will (not trying to bring another calvinism argument to singles) and it's no guarantee but it's pretty amazing i was just reading about a new study yesterday and almost posted it for a little controversy here.
how parents look really wouldn't be a factor for me, but i wonder why SO many people post about weight (slender) and other physical attractive qualities on a present day list and don't care about a future list?
Marriage problems? Husbands genes may be to blame
I read that study. Now I have a good excuse just in case I ever need it. (But since I will be a good husband I won't need it)
Good point about the future weight thing. Genetics does enter into our decisions whether we admit it or not. It's nice to know there won't be any major surprises.
I know that you know this, but when you make a blanket statement, it begs to be clearified.
For many of us genetic will not factor in AT ALL.
If I met a man of God and fell in love with him, and later found that there was heart disease in his family and he had already lost his father and a brother, I WOULD STILL MARRY HIM. As a widow, that is saying alot. A person is the result of all of their genes picking and chose which genes you prefer is just playing God. Discarding a woman you admire because her mother grayed prematurely and has a lot of wrinkles is just wrong. Can you please show me in scripture where it says:
...and he loved her, but would not take her as wife because he found her mother unappealing.
_____________________________
"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams.... he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." - Henry David Thoreau
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RE: Show me the parents!!!!!!! - 9/4/2008 4:39:20 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz
I know that you know this, but when you make a blanket statement, it begs to be clearified.
For many of us genetic will not factor in AT ALL.
If he looks good to you, it's at least partially because of genetics. (I'm feeling like being difficult today!)
quote:
A person is the result of all of their genes picking and chose which genes you prefer is just playing God.
I don't understand this at all. How is it playing God to accept or reject someone for any reason whatsoever? Lets say I just like brunettes with blue eyes (for example). Is it playing God to only date brunettes with blue eyes? I don't think so.
quote:
Discarding a woman you admire because her mother grayed prematurely and has a lot of wrinkles is just wrong.
First of all I'd never do that. Secondly it's likely that if I admired her I'd think her mom looked OK too. Don't know if it's a chicken and egg thing though.
quote:
Can you please show me in scripture where it says:
...and he loved her, but would not take her as wife because he found her mother unappealing.
No one ever said anything about how we choose who to date is scriptural. If we were following the scriptures then my folks would have picked me a wife and would be working on finding me a new wife now.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Show me the parents!!!!!!! - 9/4/2008 4:57:06 PM
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joy2give2u
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From: Indiana
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quote:
(I'm feeling like being difficult today!) So their are some days you don't feel like being difficult?
quote:
I don't understand this at all. How is it playing God to accept or reject someone for any reason whatsoever? Lets say I just like brunettes with blue eyes (for example). Is it playing God to only date brunettes with blue eyes? I don't think so. I don't think anyone really expects you to understand. What it is saying it that you make your decisions based on what you like or don't like which is basaed on your humanity...on your own human thoughts/feelings/and experiences.......some of us realize that what we think we like or want in the flesh may not be what God wants to give us in the Spirit..........therefore we would rather let Him decided for us instead..........does that make it easier to understand??
_____________________________
Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
My Smiles
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RE: Show me the parents!!!!!!! - 9/4/2008 5:24:47 PM
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joy2give2u
Posts: 5063
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Indiana
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My husband will not meet my father, which saddens me, but if he had he would have meet a man who, though speaking few words, said much.
At one point in my life I was dating a man who was drop dead hot. Though I liked him, he was a wonderful christian, and he treated me as though I was the most beautiful woman he had every meet the real reason I was dating him was because, having low self esteem never believing I was beautiful, I liked all the attention I got (envious stares) from the other girls. My attitude was look at who I caught........I must be worthy if a hottie like E was interested in me.
I remember my dad asking me if I really thought I could love E with a love so deep I would be willing to give him all of me. Would I be able to sacrifice my plans, dreams and goals for him?
I remember replying to my father "Dad have you looked at him lately?"
His reply, "Yes Dawn and I have looked at your spirit as well. What you want in the flesh is not what I see in your spirit"
I sure didn't want to agree with Dad but he was right........The person I am now would never have fit into the life I would have had with E.............My flesh wanted and desired him (not sexually) but my spirit knew he wasn't the one.
My dad was a wise man who knew the flesh isn't the best source to lead us to our true hearts desires, wants and those things our spirit crave.
_____________________________
Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
My Smiles
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RE: Show me the parents!!!!!!! - 9/4/2008 9:21:42 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
First of all I'd never do that. Secondly it's likely that if I admired her I'd think her mom looked OK too. Don't know if it's a chicken and egg thing though.
I'm not sure how you can come up with that assumption. Not all daughters look like their mothers. Nor will they all age the same. My sisters (there are 4 of us) and I are all aging differently, yet we all come from the same parents.
That's why I said I don't know if it's a chicken or egg thing. I only know that every woman (except one and that was way back in my bad college days)) I seriously dated had a good looking mom too. Don't know if the mom looked better to me just because I liked the daughter. KWIM?
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Show me the parents!!!!!!! - 9/4/2008 9:29:08 PM
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joy2give2u
Posts: 5063
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Indiana
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quote:
Thank you Joy. I always figured that even if nothing else I could always serve as a bad example Your welcome.......why do you assume I mean bad example? Wait should this be posted in the question thread instead?
_____________________________
Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
My Smiles
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RE: Show me the parents!!!!!!! - 9/4/2008 10:08:25 PM
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joy2give2u
Posts: 5063
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From: Indiana
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Speaking of show me the parents.........they are showing a video of John McCain's life sharing about his grandfather, father and mother.........who your parents are does make a different in who you become....that is for sure.
_____________________________
Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
My Smiles
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RE: Show me the parents!!!!!!! - 9/4/2008 10:42:48 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: joy2give2u
Speaking of show me the parents.........they are showing a video of John McCain's life sharing about his grandfather, father and mother.........who your parents are does make a different in who you become....that is for sure.
Sometimes. Sometimes we become who we are in spite of who our parents are. I tend to be neutral. They didn't help too much but thank God they didn't hurt too much either.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Show me the parents!!!!!!! - 9/4/2008 10:46:54 PM
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joy2give2u
Posts: 5063
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Indiana
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quote:
I tend to be neutral. They didn't help too much but thank God they didn't hurt too much either. I doubt they were as neutral as you suspect.......often it may seem that way when one hasn't searched the deep corners of their soul enough for them to be revealed......one of the reasons God speaks so strongly about what is passed on from generation to generation......both curses and blessings.
_____________________________
Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
My Smiles
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but definitely not any of the above. 
