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hellochurch -> RE: Struggling with grandiose self view & self-hatred (9/1/2008 9:07:52 AM)
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dear BigFishStory:
I have Good news for you! The Doctor is in! He is Dr. Jesus! and He speaks through us here on this board, and also in the quietness of your heart.
Trouble is, there is other stuff speaking there in your heart too that is not HIM and not even healthy for you.
You may need to WEED your garden, meaning your heart is your garden, you may need to weed some stuff OUT of there. This stuff that hurts and hampers you, it is NOT GOOD, and not God's stuff.
There is good pride and wrong pride. Godly pride is fine, the bad pride is like the devil's version, but you dont have to steer away from all pride, just becasue the devil went wrong. Some pride, the godly pride is the right kind of pride, ie. proud of YOUR GOD and who HE IS, and HAPPY ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE HIS SON AND HE LIKES YOU! HE CREATED YOU FOR HIS PLEASURE, ENJOY HIM AND LET HIM ENJOY YOU.
The stuff that hurts you is not supposed to be in there, IN YOUR HEART, (ITS WRONG SEED PLANTED BY THE ENEMY IN YOUR GARDEN, AND SOME CAME FROM RELIGIOUS PEOPLE WHO HAD THE RIGHT MOTIVES EVEN BUT WHO HAD THE WRONG INFO. AND PLANTED IT IN YOU, AND NOW IT IS TO YOUR DETRIMENT) you are not supposed to be hurting, this is not God's will for you, He is the healer, the balm of Gilead, the One who Came to set us free and make us whole.
Healing is not meant to be hurtfull, but freeing and liberating.
SO IF YOU ARE HURTING, I WOULD GUESS YOU HAVE WRONG SEED IN YOU, PROBABLY OF THE RELIGIOUS KIND AND IT NEEDS TO BE PULLED OUT AND THROWN OUT.
Jesus said, He who the Son sets FREE is FREE INDEED!
Did you know that Jesus disliked the religious people's ways?
He said they strained hard at keeping the smallest fly away from them, so as not to swallow it, but instead while they are straining hard to keep from this, unknown to them, their actions are causing them to swallow a whole huge camel!
Do you get HIS ways. ? His ways are EASY and HIS BURDEN is L I G H T, not heavy, not demeaning, not downing in any way, He is easy to get along with. HE LOVES US!
I do not adhere to the whole (I'll call it the 'gospel of suffering') for lack of a better term. (Although we will suffer in this world, but it doesnt have to ever be destructive to us, God;s type of suffering is waiting in faith for his promises to manifest, and this doesnt have to be painful in any way,) His burden and his kind of even suffering, which istn really suffering at all, is light and easy. His yoke is easy! I believe GOOD NEWS is just that, simply put, GOOD NEWS. If it isnt good then its not gospel, and your hurting is not good.
so therefore it is not being caused by GOd's GOOD NEWS, but
by faulty thinking and faulty understanding of the GOOD things of GOD, that He has for you.
I see your dreaming of being accepted and loved by many people ie. 70 thousand as COMPLETEY NORMAL and NOT SINFUL OR PRIDEFUL in any way at all.
WHY? Becasue you are designed for LOVE and you are probably getting far less from those around you than is even the MINIMUM requirement. There fore your dreams are compensating for it by dreaming of PLENTY OF LOVE FROM THOUSANDS, WHICH IS F I N E ! IT IS NOT PRIDE, it is your GOd-given nature meant to run on love trying to get you some, when the world around you, fallen world is not even giving you enough to feed 'a bird on'. We are supposed to be, in the church, so full of love for each other that the world is to notice us as completely vastly different in how much we are loving each other. THis is not happening much, and I blame
the religious people in the church.
They will try to make you miserable and then tell you its Gods will for you to be that way, which is completely false.
The world and the christians around you are not doing what GOd wants them to, they are probably not feeding your LOVE TANK, you are created by GOD to run on love, but you live in a fallen world. They do not know how to love and even if they do, ie. the chrsitians, they get caught up in their own needs or sin against you by not loving you as GOd intended, because maybe they are caught in 'religion' instead of God's things.
a multititude of reasons why anyway, and NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR WORTHINESS TO RECEIVE LOVE AND EVEN APPLAUSE AND GOOD WILL AND RESPECT AND EVEN PRAISE FOR THE GOOD THAT YOU DO AND THE GOOD THAT YOU ARE.
These things are not pride but just normal NEEDS of the human kind.
God understands and in this fallen world, HE CAN GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED IN SPITE OF THE FALLEN SYSTEM AND EVEN THE FALLING SHORT CHURCH OR FAMILY AROUND YOU. HE CAN MINISTER TO YOUR NEEDS.
He has His WOrd which is full of good things for you.
All of his promises are for you and they are GOd saying yes and amen!
It is safe to ONLY get your needs met, your emotional and self esteem needs met by God becasue he is the only trustworthy one to trust with these important things. PEople will fail and even give you a wrong picture of yourself, so therefore you cannot depend on them for selfworth needs ie to reflect your worth and value, you must only get these from God and HIs word HImself.
Did you know that God doesnt mind you being lifted up and praised and applauded in this life? He would like that for you, it is part of the blessing He promised to you, through ABraham and coming down to you through Jesus Christ, He wants to make you great, but He needs to do it, not you.
Promotion comes from the Lord.
(In you shall ALL NATIONS be blessed!) This part of the blessing is for you too, God wants to bring more of HIS GOOD to the nations, and you are the vehicle! He wants you to have HIS GOOD first though, so that you can share it with others.
Did you know that the Dreams you have inside of you, like for example what Joseph dreamed, can be directly from God and His way of telling you what He wants for you.? JOseph dreamed of greatness, and it was God putting that in him. Did you notice the reactions of others around him, - this is a lesson for you, dont share your dreams with very many, they cannot be trusted and may use them to hurt you with, they are 'beans' that is why, human beans and very few are developed in God to the place of maturity and goodness like Jesus yet, so do not place your trust in them.
Even your daydreams of greatness may be God's dreams for you too. ?
Joseph dreamed of being a 'head' in his family, and of all his family giving him honour. It was at a time when many of his family even 'hated' him, to the point of physically killing him. This is the lack of doing God's will that exists in the people around us. They often cheat us of what is even rightfully ours, by even deliberately refusing to praise us or say anything good about us at all.
That is why it is important to get ALL OF OUR SELF IMAGE FROM THE LORD AND HIS GOOD WORD ABOUT US. this is not pride but simply us believing what GOd says about us, which is ALL GOOD. (Did you know that God even refuses to remember what you did wrong. ?Besides wiping out every wrong of yours, He has given you the righteousness of His own, His own perfection He has given you so that you feel good about you in every way. You have God's own righteousness, so no need for negative feelings about yourself of any kind. He doesn't like to think about any of your wrongs, and has WIPED IT OUT OF HIS MEMORY FOREVER!!!!yeah.!!!Its just like you not wanting to think of or remember the falling shorts(short falls not underwear around their ankles, giggle) of your kids. You dont like to dwell on what they did wrong, or said wrong, etc., or their mistakes, you try to forget those things. GOd is the same, He has wiped all your wrongs out of his memory forever!
Religion has caused people in the church to operate on a whole set of things that can be very ungodlly, and not representing Gods kingdom or His ways at all. This can be quite destructive to the growth and goodness of people in the church.
For example, maybe God is putting His plans inside of you, and He is hoping for you to accept them. Instead, you are hurting yourself and putting yourself out here on this board for more criticism and censure,
oooooh, you bad thing you, you thought of yourself being loved and appreciated by 70,000 people!, why that can only be pride! meanwhile, maybe God is trying to get you used to seeing yourself talking to and helping large numbers of people, talking to large numbers of people because...
dadadatada!
He wants to change your ugly old self image into something great and beautiful so you can be great and beautiful and help even millions, of people! Did you know that there are millions of people in this world that need help? that do not know that God created them and has plans for them, which are GOOD, just like Himself, HIs plans are good too.
There are millions that God does not want to go to hell!
I am now talking about all the crucifying of the church in the new test. etc. which is what a lot of the religious-church is focussed on. We are not curently being persecuted to death etc. in this country, thank God, but the enemy still persecutes us even through the faults of others in our churches and families, even the cutting off of LOVE that you need, the enemy is at work doing that, but not in an open way. He works under cover , under disguise of the religious folk.
Josephs' brothers were all ' religious good jews', but they weren't really following God's ways, only Joseph was sticking to his teaching that he received and operating in his covenant, which was the covenant of Abraham.
He was careful to keep his heart right, and not get into the strife that his brothers were causing and stirring up against him, he guarded his heart from letting that stuff get in there, otherwise stuff like
resentment and unforgiveness would have CUT OFF his blessing, because these things cut off love in our hearts, and it is a requirement to walk in love in order to enjoy Gods things.
God was willing to make josephs brothers great as well, but they did not keep the covenant and did not guard their hearts and sinned willingly, and did many evils, and did not honour the Lord with their actions and lives as Joseph did, so they disqualified themselves from the Blessing manifesting in their lives making them great as well.
JOseph kept his heart attitude, which is very important, he fed himself on the good things of God, which is what you must do, find the GOOD things of GOd and people in the church who know them and feed yourself on them.
Look for happy people in the church and stick with them and find out what they know or where they get it from, and you will find what you need there. Theya re getting good food from teh bible, not the vinegar kind that makes the religious sour. God is not sour. He is all the attributes of the Love chapter, cor. 13, this is God, his character and personality being described. There is no sourness in him.
So religious people that are still swallowing camels even today are NOT REFLECTING GODS TRUE IMAGE AND HURTING THEMSELVES AND OTHERS AS THEY GO ALONG THEIR WAY.
THEY ARE A BAD ADVERTISEMENT, AND ALL OF ANY NEG. THING THAT JESUS HAD TO SAY WHILE ON EARTH WAS DIRECTED AT THEM, POINTING OUT THAT THEY NEEDED TO STOP IT AND CHANGE.
I do believe that you can let yourself off that hook that you have yourself on, and just go and enjoy God and yourself and others, every day, and look forward to the GOOD plans He has for you.
God has a way of escape from every situation that is wrong,He doesnt need the devil to teach HIs children anything, God has the whole bible to teach you, learn from it, and if it is not speaking good and love and joy to you, then you are reading it wrong, because the foundation of the bible is God and, He says about himself, that HE IS LOVE. so if you are hurting confused feEl down on yourself, etc. this is not coming from LOVE so then THROW IT OUT. and THROW OUT WHAT IS MAKING YOU FEEL THAT WAY too because it is not coming fromLOVE either.
"I opened the mouth of LOVE and I found a Wisdom Tooth." quote from Larry Norman's album, 'the six oclock news. !
Hope you find one too.! and more than one, find them all, bro'!
ANYTHING THAT YOU HAVE that would make you feel bad about you that is sin, confess it, received God's cleasing and forgiveness and forget it as He has forgotten it about you. God is our example, imitate him as dear children, and do what He does. He forgets your sin, you do too, and then you have nothing to block feeling good about you and about your Daddys; plans for you. IT IS SO THAT SIMPLE!
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