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beachcooky -> urgent =/ (8/29/2008 10:31:10 PM)

I have always struggled with this. But it's been really heavy on my heart lately. I'm about to cry because I haven't told anyone about this...except for my mom, but now I haven't even talked to her about it lately cos she said i had to stop.

I question my faith all the time. It's like everyday, I'm worrying: "Am I going to Heaven?" And I question whats the right way to get to heaven. I have asked Jesus to come into my life numerous times because I just felt like I'm not going to heaven. I love Jesus and I'm scared that I'm not going to go to heaven. I have in my heart, I try to live according to His will. But I'm stupid and I'm weak. I mess up daily and I say I will stop...and I'm trying my hardest to stop the things.

There is something else that is heavy on my heart that I haven't told anyone, so I'm not going to put it up on here. But keep me in your prayers.

I'm not into the self-pitying. But I hate myself. I hate of who I have become...who I am, what I am, every aspect of my life. I hate it. I used to be a great Christian. Like, seeking God and following his will. And now I'm crying. I'm trying my hardest to seek his will but every day (literally), i come home just crushed because I messed up. I try my hardest. This pain is really unbearable. And I feel that God is always scolding me for doing this and that. I don't feel like He's proud of me and it really really hurts. I tell people that God loves them no matteer what. But I feel like I have to act a different way for God to listen to me. Like, I should say this or I should say that in order for God to hear me and listen to me.

I've been keeping all this in a bottle. I haven't expressed it to anyone because I feel that talking to people about this kind of things is a weakness. i hate talking--and I have lost a lot of relationships over it. I feel more safe to do it this way because I will probably never meet you guys in my life...unless you live 15 minutes away from me, that is.



sparkleingsnow -> RE: urgent =/ (8/29/2008 10:58:06 PM)

We all mess up, beachcooky. And I think we're harder on ourselfs than we would be on anyone else. When the Bible says "whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved" it didn't add, unless you mess up. [:)]

Father, thank You that beachcooky desires to please You. To follow You. Help her follow You and grow in You and Your word, Lord. Help her to forgive herself when she messes up, and to turn to You with it. Help her to grow in understanding and wisdom and Your love. And let Your light shine through her. Thank You Father. IN Jesus name. Amen



TorchHeart -> RE: urgent =/ (8/29/2008 11:09:46 PM)

Lord, please be with beachcooky at this time in her life. Though she has found you, she still feels lost in her soul. Fill her with the confidence in herself and in her faith in you that she lacks. Give her the courage to be able to look at the person she sees in the mirror and know that she is loved by you. Do not let others cause her to question her faith or discourage her in her walk with you. Show her that everyone's walk with you is unique, God. And remind her that all those who come to you through a belief in Christ are saved. Let her not be conerned with whether or not she "loves you enough," but rather ensure her that those who do love you are already loved in return. Remind her that her sins are forgiven through her belief in our Lord, Jesus Christ, who died for our transgressions upon the cross. Let her see the good things about her that you have given her and bless her so that she might no longer doubt her own faith in you. Remove this spirit fo self-doubt, and grant her a spirit of inner-peace and self-satisfaction. Guide her well on her walk with you, Lord, for the fact that she cares this much about whether or not she loves you enough shows that she is indeed eager to share a meaningful relationship with you.

I pray for this in the name of Jesus Christ, our Eternal Lord and Savior.

Amen.



love4theLord -> RE: urgent =/ (8/29/2008 11:14:24 PM)

Hey my friend...What happened to that upbeat girl I would always seeing posting on here!!
All of this is coming from the enemy, you thinking you won't go to heaven...You know God
loves you no matter what you do. He has already forgiven you once you ask for forgiveness,
it has already been forgotten and he does not remember since you repented. You are already
doing the right things my friend, you pray to God, you talk to him, you have faith in him,
you trust in him. This is how you get to heaven, not by what you do, not by your works, but
because you have already given your life to him, you are already safe!! So, there is no need
to worry about not going to heaven, you are already saved, you can not lose your salvation,
it is now a done deal!! You have no need to worry any longer, this is just the enemies way
of getting you to question yourself because he wants you to worry, he wants you to have
doubts that you won't go to heaven...Well, you are!!!
God already knows that we are not perfect and it is impossible. He is the only one who is
perfect SO, he knows we will mess up and when we do, we go before him and pray and
ask him to forgive..He already knows your heart and thers is no way not to mess up. But,
as long as you live everyday trying, wanting and trusting in him, then you have no need
to fear..God is not punishing you hun..He is not. He is proud of you because you are his
child and he loves you.
You are already forgiven, just remember the things you have told me. Jesus died on the
cross for us and paid for our sins, so you are already forgiven...You do not have to worry
anymore if you are going to heaven or not. Once you accept the Lord into your life, your
name is already written in his book and this can not be taken away from you.....

I love ya friend!!! Just keep doing what you are doing and pray to the Lord..Just talk to
him everyday and I know this will pass, don't let the enemy win because he is not worth
giving a second to....He is a liar and wants you to think the worst. don't let him win.
You are saved my friend and you are going to heaven!!!!

your friend.
kc



beachcooky -> RE: urgent =/ (8/29/2008 11:27:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Itlyn1kc

Hey my friend...What happened to that upbeat girl I would always seeing posting on here!!
All of this is coming from the enemy, you thinking you won't go to heaven...You know God
loves you no matter what you do. He has already forgiven you once you ask for forgiveness,
it has already been forgotten and he does not remember since you repented. You are already
doing the right things my friend, you pray to God, you talk to him, you have faith in him,
you trust in him. This is how you get to heaven, not by what you do, not by your works, but
because you have already given your life to him, you are already safe!! So, there is no need
to worry about not going to heaven, you are already saved, you can not lose your salvation,
it is now a done deal!! You have no need to worry any longer, this is just the enemies way
of getting you to question yourself because he wants you to worry, he wants you to have
doubts that you won't go to heaven...Well, you are!!!
God already knows that we are not perfect and it is impossible. He is the only one who is
perfect SO, he knows we will mess up and when we do, we go before him and pray and
ask him to forgive..He already knows your heart and thers is no way not to mess up. But,
as long as you live everyday trying, wanting and trusting in him, then you have no need
to fear..God is not punishing you hun..He is not. He is proud of you because you are his
child and he loves you.
You are already forgiven, just remember the things you have told me. Jesus died on the
cross for us and paid for our sins, so you are already forgiven...You do not have to worry
anymore if you are going to heaven or not. Once you accept the Lord into your life, your
name is already written in his book and this can not be taken away from you.....

I love ya friend!!! Just keep doing what you are doing and pray to the Lord..Just talk to
him everyday and I know this will pass, don't let the enemy win because he is not worth
giving a second to....He is a liar and wants you to think the worst. don't let him win.
You are saved my friend and you are going to heaven!!!!

your friend.
kc


thank you, kc! it's really bad right now. i can't really relax and i always feel stressed over it. i know it's satan. and i rebuke him and he just keeps coming back. i know he won't leave me alone. but it's like, i'll rebuke him and he comes back like a minute later doing the same thing. i'm just getting tired. i've been tempted to turn my back on God and just give up. but i haven't, because i'm not that kind of person who just gives up when things get tough. and i love God and i don't want to turn my back on him a second time. it's so hard and i've been crying and it sucks cos i can't even sit and relax with this worry tugging on my heart. i just feel, i don't know. i need to start reading the bible again, i've fallen for a few weeks...and it sucks. i know it's my fault, because i have time for God but i just don't do it. it's just, ugh.



Keabird -> RE: urgent =/ (8/30/2008 12:37:10 AM)

Beachcooky - none of us will ever be able to measure up. None. I can't, and I would consider myself a strong Christian, and have been for 35 years. But I still mess up. I still find myself doing things and then want to kick myself afterwards.

But we have to let go of that stuff. As someone said, we are harder on ourselves than we would be on anyone else. Do you think that by nature you are a perfectionist - liking to have things "just right"? I am and that also contributes to me being hard on myself.

Perhaps the enemy is trying to keep this on your mind to keep you too busy worrying about it so that you won't be as confident in sharing what God has done for you as much - your life is a threat to satan, so he will distract you with whatever he can! Anything to stop you boldly and confidently proclaiming Christ as Your Saviour. Satan is the accuser, Jesus is the Saviour. Tell satan to go away in Jesus name.

Here is something I recommend you say to your Lord and Saviour - in your own words, from your own heart :

"Well, here I am Lord. You know me through and through, the good and the bad. Lord, I'm just gonna carry on and live and do my best, and trust you to help me do what's right, and help me when I mess up to get through it and over it, cos I know Lord that I can't even do anything right without the help of the Holy Spirit. So I commit all this to You, Lord. I give You my worry and stress and leave it with You. I'm gonna carry on and trust that YOU are carrying all this now for me."

I have done that numerous times. The Bible tells us that "the battle belongs to the Lord." I said that again to remind myself just the other day when I was at a loss about something that happens frequently. I have to remind myself that I can only do what I can do, and it is the Lord that does the real work.

Father God, I thank You for Beachcooky. Thank You that You died for her sins; You have saved her life and her very soul and she belongs to You. Thank You that she knows and believes that. Father I ask You to help her every day Lord, to stand against the devil's darts, and to trust that You will help her know matter what happens, good or bad. Help her to be strong Father. Help her too Lord to see the root of where the enemy gets his darts Lord, so she knows what to make a stand against when he makes false accusations. I ask that You refresh her and fill her with the Holy Spirit Lord. I ask in Jesus Name
amen.



OneJohn410 -> RE: urgent =/ (8/30/2008 1:49:13 AM)

A prayer for such a time as this, inspired by Beachcooky. [sm=praying.gif]

Father God,
I have always struggled with this. But it's been really heavy on my heart lately. I question who I am in You. I love You, and I do want to spend eternity with You in heaven, yet I don't know that I measure up to the standards necessary. I'm afraid I've messed up and blown my chance. I am a daily mess-up, and I know I can't do-over. I don't like who I'm becoming. I don't do the things I know I should, and feel drawn to do the things I know I should not do- time after time.

I feel afraid. I feel unsure of things I once thought I knew. I feel there's no help when I look for it where there once was. I am running on my own strength, and it is failing me. I try to consider myself different from nonbelievers, and it just makes me feel like a hypocrite. Even my secret self is burdened in this, Lord. Things are stagnant. My good intentions are nothing but, and my sinful self is striving to get the most attention as always.

I want to know You more, Lord. I want to feel significant in Your eyes. I want to remember what I have learned. I want to learn new ways to put it in practice. I'm through running on my own strength, God. I would forget the lies I'm clinging to.

Lord, please bless me indeed. Help me realize a wonderful new time for some quiet time with You. Teach me who I am in You, and who I may become in You. Remind me of the joys I've had in You. Bless me to be a blessing to those I know. I pray these things in the name of Jesus Christ, my Savior,
Amen



elbush -> RE: urgent =/ (8/30/2008 2:17:44 AM)

Prayer is very good, but beating yourself up is wrong. GOD doesn't want you to beat yourself up. It concerns me that you are using such self-deprecating language in referencing yourself. I fear you are suffering from depression, and I urge you to talk to a school counselor or someone with experience in dealing with depression. All you can do in life is the best you can. No one is perfect. A technique I use is going over my day's mistakes each night before bed and praying for GOD to help me become a kinder, better person. GOD understands. It sounds like, maybe, you need to try talking to GOD as your friend, not as a punisher. I'll be praying for you. Please, think about talking to your school counselor or someone like that about how you are feeling about yourself.



thiricy -> RE: urgent =/ (8/30/2008 7:20:13 AM)

Its amazing how God lifts us up from feeling the worst in our lives to greatest. I feel the same way I continue to rebuke the devil but he continues to taunt , but i realized the same power that conquered him is in us. You feel weak, his strength is made perfect in weakness and for that you should rejoice. We all have that feeling that we not doing enough for God and we want to do some much more.

But we fall short [:(] Because we can never repay him for what he was done for us but only do his works, To believe in the one he sent. That is what you have been doing so rejoice. I pray for God's grace in your life.

words to meditate upon

Psalm 42:11

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.



barbi -> RE: urgent =/ (8/30/2008 8:40:07 AM)

praying for you

Read ROmans 8



peaceofGod -> RE: urgent =/ (8/30/2008 9:47:20 AM)

Father,

Thank you for giving beachcooky the desire to please you. Thank you for your love for her. Thank for completely understanding her situation.

Please help her to know for a fact that your love for her is not based on whether she measures up to certain standards but that your love is unconditional. Please give her complete trust in your forgiving patience and goodness. Lift her up in the ways that will help her most..

We praise you and thank you in Jesus' name for all that you have done and will do for beachcooky . Amen.



sparks505 -> RE: urgent =/ (8/30/2008 9:53:04 AM)

YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS



Caseyp57 -> RE: urgent =/ (8/30/2008 12:42:38 PM)

"I have always struggled with this. But it's been really heavy on my heart lately. I'm about to cry because I haven't told anyone about this...except for my mom, but now I haven't even talked to her about it lately cos she said i had to stop.

I question my faith all the time. It's like everyday, I'm worrying: "Am I going to Heaven?" And I question whats the right way to get to heaven. I have asked Jesus to come into my life numerous times because I just felt like I'm not going to heaven. I love Jesus and I'm scared that I'm not going to go to heaven. I have in my heart, I try to live according to His will. But I'm stupid and I'm weak. I mess up daily and I say I will stop...and I'm trying my hardest to stop the things.............."

Praying for you (((Beachcooky). I think the devil can prey on our weaknesses; I also think we have to recognize there is sometimes a physical component to what we are going through. Have you been evaluated for OCD? I've experienced the questioning my faith part (and also talking so much about something round and round again that it seemed friends didn't want to hear it anymore), and I think it has to do with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). There are online screening tests for it and if you score high on it you could talk to your doctor about it. Maybe it's not your problem but I thought it worth mentioning. In any case I'll be praying. God WILL bring you through this and you will be stronger for it and able to help others. And please know God DOES hear your prayers because he sees the righteousness of Christ when he sees you. Our relationship to God has to do with who Jesus is and what Jesus has done; it doesn't rest on how good we are or how we feel. God bless.



joysword -> RE: urgent =/ (8/30/2008 9:21:29 PM)

You are beautiful in the eyes of the Lord and your strength comes from within as you continue to seek and cry unto the Lord, He will meet you where you are to lift you up and to carry you in His arms. He's loving that you desire to please HIM and He will continue to be there when you call. Just continue to press through, seek, pray, fear the Lord and know that you are right where you need to be. It's when we are weak that He is made strong within. You may mourn at night but the Joy, the JOY will come in the morning. Be at peace and bind HIS peace that surpasses all understanding to your body, bind his mind to yours, put on that armor and know that when the enemy comes in like a flood, He will raise a standard for you. May you continue to wake up in JOY and walk out in peace daily as you continue to press through.

JOYsWord
Prov3:5-6

We are all keeping you in prayer and I know that you will get through this and continue to share your testimony for many who will come across your path. You are blessed and highly favored.



kyl -> RE: urgent =/ (8/31/2008 12:14:51 AM)

Dear Heavenly Father I lift up beachcooky to you.
I pray Lord that you would help her and give her peace.
Lord I pray that she will continue to seek your will for her life.
Give her strength Lord and assurance of your everlasting love and forgiveness.
Help her Lord with her life and guide her as she makes decisions in her life.
Lord I pray she will continue to grow in her relationship with you.
I pray she will learn to trust you and your word and know you will see her through.
Thank you Lord for her honesty and openness.
Bless her Lord as she reads your word and draws closer to you each day
In Jesus name
Amen



lightshineon -> RE: urgent =/ (8/31/2008 12:56:24 AM)

Jesus show our sister who you are, and how much you truly love us. Please show her truth, and if anything be in her life that is making her feel insecure, Lord help her with that weakness, or problem. Lord we know you will never un-adopt us. Let her know she belongs to you forever sealed by the Holy Spirit.
In Jesus, loving and Hloy name
amen



love4theLord -> RE: urgent =/ (8/31/2008 11:03:50 AM)

Hey friend..Just checking on you!!

You know what..I have been thinking about this because this is what people have told me..

You know you are saved and you know you are a christian when satan is attacking full force.
Otherwise, if you weren't he would not be fighting you so hard!!! He would just leave you alone.
Things almost seemed to get worse once I became a christian but eventually the light started
to shine through at the end of the tunnel...IT WILL HAPPEN!!
Just know this, you are doing the right things and you are in good hands! I remember your prayers for me and for others over this last 2 weeks and then all of a sudden this hit you. This
is a trial right now and believe me God will prevail through this and you just keep praising him
and trust him. He loves you!!! No matter what, he knows his children will mess up and it is human
for us to mess up, so he already knows!! He loves you!! And I do too!

praying
kc



Caseyp57 -> RE: urgent =/ (8/31/2008 3:39:02 PM)

Beachcooky just checking on you too, and am still praying for you hon. Don't give up on God-- well I actually believe it is impossible to do this, that God will just draw you back. But keep reading your bible as you mentioned before, that's a great idea. And listening to Christian music that you enjoy is good too. Let us know how you are doing and what God has shown you. I do not think you need to rebuke the devil-- just resist the devil: "resist the devil and he will flee from you" as it says in James. This means (to me) don't play his games but listen to what God is telling you and get on with what God wants you to do. (And remember God wants us to rejoice in Him and our salvation.) God bless.



al4jc -> RE: urgent =/ (8/31/2008 8:31:41 PM)

Hi Beachcooky,

I know you don't know me as well as some of the others here, but I just wanted you to know that I have felt a strong burden for you as I read your post. My heart broke as I read your words. Please know that no matter how much we mess up, God loves us unconditionally. We are no suprise to Him. When you got saved, you became a part of God's family. You became his precious child. No matter how you feel or how much you mess up, that will never change. God will never disown you. It's like when you were a child and misbehaved. That sin did not make your parents stop loving you. You were still and will always be a member of your family and will always have your family's last name. It's the same with God, when you got saved, you eternally became part of His family and will always share the "family"name. Not only that, you also get to share the "family inheritance", meaning eternal life with God and everything that goes with it. Hold on to that truth and meditate on God and fill your mind with the truth of God's word. Don't let satan make you feel defeated, but stand firm in truth, no matter how you feel. As you stand in God's truth, your feelings will eventually start to line up with what God says.

I hope this encourages you in some way. Please know that I'm praying for you (and I really do mean that!)

God Bless!!



love4theLord -> RE: urgent =/ (8/31/2008 9:50:48 PM)

BC- I continue to pray for you!! I hope you see all these prayers and posts and that this
eases your mind and your doubts. Just remember this is all from the enemy, he doesn't
want to see you happy like you were a few weeks ago. I know things will change and I
know God loves you!! As do I!!

blessings..I am praying for you

kc



danpaul62 -> RE: urgent =/ (8/31/2008 10:21:39 PM)

Father we lift up this child of Yours Lord, asking You to touch her heart and let her know she is securely in Your grasp regardless of how she feels. Thank You for Your faithfulness and loving-kindness toward Your children.

Dear sister, your brothers and sisters have offered wonderful words of encouragement and I too encourage you to read Romans 8; in fact all of Romans and Galatians should encourage you.

I would like to relate a short scenario for you to consider. What if you had a huge aguement with your parents? I mean really serious and you left home, moved to the other side of the world, changed your name and never spoke with them? Now your relationship would be damaged sure, but would your DNA be changed? Would the essence of who you are really be different? What if after many years you came home, wouldn't your parents rejoice and welcome you home? Isn't that what Jesus records in Luke 15?

In fact, in verse 20, when this young man finally decides to come home we read the following: "And he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him, and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him, and kissed him. " Isn't this amazing? God runs toward us!

The message here is Father always loves, always rejoices and is patient on a scale we cannot comprehend. More than that sister, He purchased you (1 Corinthians 6 & 7), adopted you into His family and has promised that nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. Fortunately sister, God does not measure our worth based on our "good" behavior. On balance, if I measured everything "good" I did against the evil I have done, I have to confess I probably don't "measure up" too well.

Thanks be to God, He doesn't measure us against our deeds, but rather against the one deed that makes all the difference in the world; on a tree two thousand years ago, the Son of God paid the price for your sins and mine and freed us from the penalty and power of sin.

Dear child, I spent years struggling with my walk, not my salvation per se, but walking in victory just didn't happen. When I realized it wasn't about me or my "goodness" but His work on the cross everything changed, the peace I desired was finally mine. So please, please accept His work as complete.



TorchHeart -> RE: urgent =/ (8/31/2008 10:37:08 PM)

Count me in as another one who is still praying for you beachcooky. Stand strong, and know that God does care about you. You have a strong faith in Him, and many of us can see that by the things you post on this board. Don't let the devil make you see otherwise. You believe in Christ.... you will see Heaven. You are a good person, beachcooky. Remember that.



beachcooky -> RE: urgent =/ (8/31/2008 11:59:27 PM)

quote:

Lord we know you will never un-adopt us.


Aw, thanks lightshineon! That sentence really got to me!



beachcooky -> RE: urgent =/ (9/1/2008 12:02:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Itlyn1kc

BC- I continue to pray for you!! I hope you see all these prayers and posts and that this
eases your mind and your doubts. Just remember this is all from the enemy, he doesn't
want to see you happy like you were a few weeks ago. I know things will change and I
know God loves you!! As do I!!

blessings..I am praying for you

kc


Aw, kc! You're awesome girly! And yes, I always check this because you guys rock!! Haha :)



beachcooky -> RE: urgent =/ (9/1/2008 12:10:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TorchHeart

Count me in as another one who is still praying for you beachcooky. Stand strong, and know that God does care about you. You have a strong faith in Him, and many of us can see that by the things you post on this board. Don't let the devil make you see otherwise. You believe in Christ.... you will see Heaven. You are a good person, beachcooky. Remember that.


It's just so hard. I hate the devil. It's like, ugh. I just feel like my feet are planted in the same spot. I praise God because I know He is good...but I just feel like my feet are planted in one place and I'm not moving forward. But like I said, I haven't been reading the Bible lately. But I went to church today & I take notes. I saw in one of my notes that said, "If you don't feel like spending time with God, you are ready for a break through." And that's what I've been feeling. "God, I know I should read the Bible but I'm too lazy and whatnot. So I'll catch up with You tomorrow." But after I read that note, I was like--BAM. I need to read the Bible because I want a breakthrough! And it's going to be amazing.

I have questioned my faith since I've come back to Him. And it's tough. I mean, I agree with all of you. I know this is Satan. And I know that I am a threat. I know he's trying to discourage me and telling me a bunch of lies. And I hate it & I absolutely hate him. But I know that I have Jesus on my side and he can help me win this battle, because you know, Jesus is amazing! (:

Thank you for all your prayers. They really do mean a lot. I'm so glad that you guys pray for me, even when you don't see my sn online! Haha. It's awesome, and I can't offer enough thanks to you all! <3



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