Reconciliation (Full Version)

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ladyichigo -> Reconciliation (8/27/2008 7:55:36 PM)

Before I type out the rest of this post, please note that this question is paraphrased from my friend's blog.

A fellow bro/sister in Christ has very seriously wronged you. Even when all the factors are accounted for, even when all the injustices are brought to light, and all the truth and gritty reality is blatantly obvious, the offender is STILL unrepentant. Can reconciliation be obtained?



ta_mosquito -> RE: Reconciliation (8/27/2008 7:57:33 PM)

Reconciliation? No, because both parties aren't willing. To be reconciled, both parties need to be willing (IMO).



deliveredarling -> RE: Reconciliation (8/27/2008 8:07:41 PM)

quote:

Can reconciliation be obtained?

?

Has the offendee forgiven? Nothing goes away if we hold onto it.

Edit: Deleted opening line after rereading op.



bluestone -> RE: Reconciliation (8/27/2008 8:11:29 PM)

I think there is a difference in reconciliation and restoration.

We can be reconciled with someone in our hearts, even if they choose not to be. The Bible tells us to be reconciled with each other. I can choose to not hold bitterness, malice, or hurt towards you, regardless of what you decide to do about me.

We can not have a restored relationship, unless both parties are willing to work toward it.



deliveredarling -> RE: Reconciliation (8/27/2008 8:16:57 PM)

That's a good point Bluestone. I didn't think about their being a difference in restoration and reconciliation.

I would agree that reconciliation is not possible unless there is willingness from both party's.

Bit then I have to ask, how would either party know the other one might consider a reconciliation if there is no communication.

I would think that communication would be stopped at this point, unless insults are being hurled at each other.



ladyichigo -> RE: Reconciliation (8/27/2008 8:47:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: deliveredarling

quote:

Has the offendee forgiven? Nothing goes away if we hold onto it.


I think, the offendee has forgiven, and seeks restoration of relationship, but the offender remains unwilling to admit their wrong despite that all factors has been accounted for and put into light.

My friend has been struggling with this for over 3 years. She's a paid ministry leader at her church. Someone she considered a friend accused her of doing something pretty serious and almost cost her her job. Her superior (the senior pastor) basically commanded her to seek reconciliation with this person even though he/she continues to accuse my friend of a wrong that she was not responsible for.



deliveredarling -> RE: Reconciliation (8/27/2008 9:08:28 PM)

Ouch, that's a touchy one! Your friend may just have to step up to the plate and BE the bigger person, if for nothing else other than as an example.

Maybe the senior pastor needs to step in as a mediator to help this reconciliation along?



ladyichigo -> RE: Reconciliation (8/27/2008 9:48:23 PM)

I just feel so upset for her. [&o][&o][&o]

She loves the church she serves in. She loves to minister, and is torn because the situation remains unresolved. She's stepped up to the plate and even apologized to the the accuser for something she wasn't even at fault for, and she's forgiven the person for the false accusations. But the damage has been done. She asked the senior pastor to mediate, but he is not willing to even though he is the one that told her that as a leader SHE must be the one to seek reconciliation. But how do you seek reconciliation with a person who continually accuses you of false things and refuses to admit they are in the wrong?



Dancre -> RE: Reconciliation (8/27/2008 9:58:42 PM)

I've been in situations where the offender refused to see that they were in the wrong. The best thing your friend can do is walk in love with this person and let it go. Let God take care of it. If the offender refuses to see the truth, then that's not your friend's problem, it's now God's.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ladyichigo

quote:

ORIGINAL: deliveredarling

quote:

Has the offendee forgiven? Nothing goes away if we hold onto it.


I think, the offendee has forgiven, and seeks restoration of relationship, but the offender remains unwilling to admit their wrong despite that all factors has been accounted for and put into light.

My friend has been struggling with this for over 3 years. She's a paid ministry leader at her church. Someone she considered a friend accused her of doing something pretty serious and almost cost her her job. Her superior (the senior pastor) basically commanded her to seek reconciliation with this person even though he/she continues to accuse my friend of a wrong that she was not responsible for.



KnowJesus -> RE: Reconciliation (8/27/2008 11:37:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dancre

I've been in situations where the offender refused to see that they were in the wrong. The best thing your friend can do is walk in love with this person and let it go. Let God take care of it. If the offender refuses to see the truth, then that's not your friend's problem, it's now God's.



I agree with Dancre...that is, for her to walk in love, and let God take care of it. And may I add, to always pray for her when she comes to mind...or when she is near.



deliveredarling -> RE: Reconciliation (8/28/2008 5:48:51 AM)

quote:

She loves the church she serves in. She loves to minister, and is torn because the situation remains unresolved. She's stepped up to the plate and even apologized to the the accuser for something she wasn't even at fault for, and she's forgiven the person for the false accusations. But the damage has been done. She asked the senior pastor to mediate, but he is not willing to even though he is the one that told her that as a leader SHE must be the one to seek reconciliation. But how do you seek reconciliation with a person who continually accuses you of false things and refuses to admit they are in the wrong?


From what you say, it sounds like she did take all the necessary steps to rectify the situation.
It maybe time now to shake the dust from her feet.
I don't see how the pastor can tell her to reconcile without being willing to mediate[8|] I wonder if there is some failure on his part to fully understand the gravity of the situation.

She can walk with her head held high, taking every thought captive and prayerfully put one foot in front of the other, until God wants to do what God wants to do with them. (We know He will do something, right)

Aaah, the never ending lesson of patience!



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