Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (Full Version)

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garsyt -> Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/26/2008 10:01:50 PM)

I have a problem and I'm not exactly sure how to handle it.

My kids have all started school and when Ty, my eldest, brought home his supply list from high school last Wednesday I went out the next morning and bought what the teachers wanted him to have. Then he comes home on Friday and tells me that his Geometry teacher wants the kids to each bring in a box of tissues as well. Okay, no problem - I'll pick some up over the weekend. But Saturday was nuts and I simply forgot. I didn't pick up a box of tissues for him to bring to school and there was nothing to send with him on Monday.

So today I'm checking his grades on-line and noticed that he got 10 out of 15 on one "assignment" that consisted of having the parent letter signed, his work binder organized, and a box of tissues to hand in. And he got docked 5 points - because I, his mother forgot to buy tissues over a VERY chaotic weekend. And there was NO mention anywhere on this teacher's supply list that she required the kids to even bring in a box of tissues and NOTHING ANYWHERE that the kids would be docked points if they didn't. He got a D because I forgot the Kleenex.

I guess I just don't think it's fair to take points away from a child simply because their mother forgot to buy something. AND it's not like I live just around the corner from a 24 hour WalMart or even within 5 miles of decent shopping and could just run by the store on a whim. I disagree with taking points away for something as silly as tissues, especially when it wasn't his decision to not to have them. He had everything that was absolutely necessary for him to do his work and participate in class. I just didn't see tissues as an absolute must have.

So what do I do? Do I just drop it as Ty is managing to get all A+'s on everything BUT this? Or do I send an e-mail to the teacher to explain that it wasn't that my son forgot the tissues it was that I, his parent, simply didn't have the tissues in the house and I can't just make a special trip to the store everyday and that I was the one that forgot?

What would you do?

Blessings,

Garsy



nicole6598 -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/26/2008 10:10:21 PM)

As a teacher, I would first of all had made sure I sent out clear instructions about what I was expecting of the children and the consequences if it wasn't met. But I wouldn't dock a kid points for not bringing in tissues[8|][&o].
I would email the teacher your concerns and if you aren't happy with that outcome go to the Principal about it.



artemis -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/26/2008 10:15:11 PM)

I'd send an e-mail and explain that Ty told you about the kleenexes but that you did not (or could not) get them in time. I'd also offer to send a box of kleenexes as soon as I was able to get to the store, just to be nice and show that you're not trying to "get out of" buying classroom supplies. I'd probably ask if he could be forgiven this one time and also keep an eye on how much an assignment like this will effect his overall average. I don't think it's unreasonable for a teacher to give a grade based on bringing supplies, but it would be ridiculous if it ended up being 10% of his six-weeks average or something like that. I wouldn't just let it go, though... now that Ty's in high school, GPA is a lot more important than it used to be and the teachers should know that.

I've gotten e-mails from parents before explaining that it was their fault their child did not have an assignment. The first time, I will always go back and change the grade. If it happens more than once, I start to get suspicious [;)]



hoppersfan -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/26/2008 10:29:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: artemis
I've gotten e-mails from parents before explaining that it was their fault their child did not have an assignment. The first time, I will always go back and change the grade. If it happens more than once, I start to get suspicious [;)]


I agree. I think that forgetting one time is not such a bad thing. I don't know anyone who never forgets anything. However, as a teacher, I have had parents who tried to use the "I forgot so don't blame my child" excuse WAY too often.



csl7037 -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/26/2008 11:22:31 PM)

Remind me what grade he's in? Was the kleenex mentioned on this letter you were to sign or anywhere at all besides his verbal reminder to you? If it wasn't written out as an assignment, just something she threw out there, I'd be pretty upset.

Also, I wouldn't let it slide just based on the fact that he normally gets very good grades - if she keeps pulling weird stunts like that and docking him for absurd things, you can't bank on him getting good grades from her!



garsyt -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/26/2008 11:23:36 PM)

I posted the same thing on another board I frequent and one of the teachers over there stated
quote:

I would email the teacher and tell her that if your son was going to be docked points for not bringing in the tissues you would have appreciated knowing that ahead of time. I'd also ask how she can justify taking points away from his academic grade for something that has absolutely NOTHING to do with academics. (I'm a teacher and it just infuriates me how idiotic some people in my profession are!!!)


And it's not like I'm trying to get out of sending supplies for the classroom. I would have much rather that the points for things like tissues and a signed parent letter be extra credit points and NOT tied to an academic grade.

I NEVER make excuses for ACTUAL school work. My children, unless they are in the hospital, or so sick that they can't do anything but hangout with a vomit bucket, don't get out of doing actual academic work.

Hubby swung by WalMart on his way home from work tonight and bought a box of the things. I am going to send an e-mail to the teacher stating that I want his 5 points reinstated and that it was my fault not his that he didn't have the tissues. I am also going to mention that I do think that it is wrong to dock academic points for something not academic and that she may want to consider putting the request for Kleenex on that supply list that she sent home on Wednesday, the first day of classes. I'm going to ask that she forgive Ty, for my forgetfulness, my oversight, and that she consider the fact that not all of her students and their parents have the time, energy or resources to make special trips, into town for something as non-important as a box of tissues.

Blessings,

Garsy



csl7037 -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/26/2008 11:25:52 PM)

OK, and I'd also be pretty irritated that you're given the supply list and expected to run right out that evening and then, when the teacher realizes THEY left something off, you're again expected to run right out and have it the next school day!?!? Um, no. If homework is a math paper, sure, due the next day - if homework involves mom dropping everything and going to the store - twice in one week, I have a big issue with that.

If he was docking kids points for not having something like a calculator I could kinda understand...but kleenex!? Give me a break!



garsyt -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/26/2008 11:33:01 PM)

Ty's a freshman. This is a Geometry class. Ty told me that she mentioned that she wanted the kids to bring in the kleenxes as almost an after thought Thursday at the end of class. It was not mentioned in the letter at all and not in writing ANYWHERE that I am aware of.

Garsy



nicole6598 -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/26/2008 11:53:22 PM)

Exactly, not bringing in tissues can't be an "assingment" for academic grades unless the teacher wrote something about it being an essential part in examining how tissues are made up or something... its so silly!



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/27/2008 12:22:03 AM)

That's weird.

I went through the same scenario in 9th grade Spanish class. We were supposed to bring in an assignment notebook. I told my mom, she didn't get around to it (she had four kids, one of whom was disabled, we lived an hour and a half from the school, and she was working in order to pay the christian school tuition)..so of course[size=4] Igot reamed for it, even though I tried to explain it. I dropped the class about a day after that. But at least a notebook is more important than kleenex. Hello, kids can get toilet paper from the bathroom if they need to blow their nose.



lexie -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/27/2008 8:06:33 AM)

Wow, I just find it silly that the students are required to bring a box of tissues...I would think that in high school that wouldn't be an issue (my high school teaching husband feels the same way.)

That is ridiculous, Garsy I hope things are worked out for the better. If the teacher doesn't give him back the points, I would discuss it with the head of the department at the school. While it may seem trivial now and only 5 points, you have to wonder what else the teacher might dock points for throughout the school year.

I can understand that the teacher might do things out of frustration because I've heard some stories from my husband about what kids try to get away with so maybe this is a way of laying down the law at the beginning, but I'm sure the school doesn't believe in docking assignment marks for non-academic things.



garsyt -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/27/2008 9:50:05 AM)

quote:

Hello, kids can get toilet paper from the bathroom if they need to blow their nose.


That's what we use around here at home. I could have sent a roll of that.

But since hubby stopped and got some last night we sent a box in with Ty today with a note asking that his 5 points be reinstated as it was NOT his fault he didn't have the tissues. That it was our choice not to go to the store twice in one weekend, not Ty's choice not to bring them.

We'll see what comes of it. He has that class in a couple hours.

Blessings,

Garsy



Kerryannism -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/27/2008 10:04:09 AM)

Good for you garsyt - you are right to expect more notice for supplies they forgot. If this supply is so important and valued by points for a student and HAD to be brought in the very next day ... why was it forgotten on the list? What a goof. You may want to ask if this teacher has any other individual policies in his/her classroom that you should know about in advance.

I do hope your student gets his points back!



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/27/2008 10:07:52 AM)

You know...I read this thread for a while and tried to decide what I, as a parent would do if I were in this situation.

I'm a single parent with two children and a VERY limited budget. I go shopping twice a month and try to get everything I need in those two trips. Occasionally I stop for milk or bread but that's about it.

This year I budgeting perfectly for their school supplies and now I wouldn't have enough to buy anything more until next month.

If I were the parent of a student in that class (because I can almost guarantee that your child wasn't the only one) I would make sure the teacher understood that a) with fuel the way it was I wasn't going to drive across town just to get a box of tissues and b) when I had the funds to get the tissues I would and c) to grade something that isn't even a required supply would probably warrant a parent teacher conference immediately.

I think you handled things quite nicely, garsy and I can't wait to see what the teacher had to say about it. [:)]



csl7037 -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/27/2008 10:33:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lexie
I can understand that the teacher might do things out of frustration because I've heard some stories from my husband about what kids try to get away with so maybe this is a way of laying down the law at the beginning...


By the same token, I bet your dh would agree that he has bigger things to worry about than Kleenex!

quote:

ORIGINAL: garsyt

quote:

Hello, kids can get toilet paper from the bathroom if they need to blow their nose.


That's what we use around here at home. I could have sent a roll of that.


That's so funny!

quote:

ORIGINAL: garsyt

But since hubby stopped and got some last night we sent a box in with Ty today with a note asking that his 5 points be reinstated as it was NOT his fault he didn't have the tissues. That it was our choice not to go to the store twice in one weekend, not Ty's choice not to bring them.

We'll see what comes of it. He has that class in a couple hours.

Blessings,

Garsy


I'll be interested to hear what happens!


Backing up even before the kleenex issue - is it normal for your kids to get supply lists the first day of school? And how quickly do they expect them to have all that stuff? My kids' school posts the supply lists online about a month or more before school starts (I found out at VBS that it had been posted). My kids' backpacks were packed about three weeks before school starts.

I am NOT one who deals well last-minute. And if I got the list Wednesday and made the point to get the supplies for school Thursday and THEN they added something - I'd tell her too bad! If it's such a big deal and she's going to dock 1/3 of an assignment points for it, if she's supposedly trying to teach responsibility, seems to me she should've had her act together a little better when she made the list!

This kind of stuff gripes me - that's not teaching responsibility, it's teaching them how to put up with persecution. And I think it sends a message that this teacher is just really out to get the students more than is concerned with their learning and growth.



garsyt -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/27/2008 10:47:52 AM)

quote:

Backing up even before the kleenex issue - is it normal for your kids to get supply lists the first day of school? And how quickly do they expect them to have all that stuff? My kids' school posts the supply lists online about a month or more before school starts (I found out at VBS that it had been posted). My kids' backpacks were packed about three weeks before school starts.

I am NOT one who deals well last-minute. And if I got the list Wednesday and made the point to get the supplies for school Thursday and THEN they added something - I'd tell her too bad! If it's such a big deal and she's going to dock 1/3 of an assignment points for it, if she's supposedly trying to teach responsibility, seems to me she should've had her act together a little better when she made the list!

This kind of stuff gripes me - that's not teaching responsibility, it's teaching them how to put up with persecution. And I think it sends a message that this teacher is just really out to get the students more than is concerned with their learning and growth.


Typically at the elementary and middle school levels we had the supply list way back last spring. I had EVERYTHING purchased for my younger three kids long before school started (and for a lot less then those back to school kits the PTC was trying to sell last spring mind you) and a good majority of extras as well and stuff that I thought Ty might need.

At the high school level though I had heard that the teachers hand out supply lists on that first day back, typically a Wednesday for us, and want all the supplies in by the following Monday. I went out to buy Ty's on Thursday simply because it was payday and if I didn't do it right away I'd be up late Sunday night trying to get things all organized and figured out for him. I also liked the idea of him having as many of his supplies as possible as soon as possible. This being our first year of high school I wasn't really sure of what to expect, but now that we've been through the supply buying once, I'll be better prepared for next year.


Blessings,

Garsy



stampinlady -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/27/2008 12:29:13 PM)

quote:

He got a D because I forgot the Kleenex.


That'a wrong. Ds(8th) got extra point for bringing in things, but nothing taken away. I'd send in a note on a roll of TP saying you didn't have time to shop for Kleenex[8D] It's high school for goodness sakes.



csl7037 -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/27/2008 12:36:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stampinlady

quote:

He got a D because I forgot the Kleenex.


That'a wrong. Ds(8th) got extra point for bringing in things, but nothing taken away. I'd send in a note on a roll of TP saying you didn't have time to shop for Kleenex[8D] It's high school for goodness sakes.


The note written on the TP - that would be classic.



stellaluna -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/27/2008 4:37:47 PM)

I'd throw a big fat fit until his grade was changed. First, it wasn't your kid's fault. Second, kleenex is irrelevant to his classwork, which is what one is learning and being graded on.



JuliaHop -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/27/2008 4:49:44 PM)

I'm still in shock that a high school teacher asked parents to send in Kleenex.

I'm also trying to remember how we blew our noses 30+ years ago when I was in high school. I do believe that it was expected that we would have our own tissues.

Now that ds is in Jr. High we were not requested to send in any cleaning or hygeine supplies.



artemis -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/27/2008 4:56:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JuliaHop

I'm still in shock that a high school teacher asked parents to send in Kleenex.



I ask my students to bring Kleenex. The school does not provide them and the students have so much stuff with them already that many of them don't have room for even a small package of kleenex. One of the schools where I teach does not allow backpacks in the classroom, so the students would have no place to put their own kleenex.

However, it's on my list of optional supplies. I require the students to bring a folder, paper and a pen/pencil. Then I ask them to bring either a box of crayons OR a box of kleenex OR a pair of safety scissors to share with the class. Of my 160+ students, I will probably get less than 20 who bring any of the supplies to share... but that's OK. I know many of my students are very low income and it's a lot ot ask them to bring supplies for all of their 7 teachers.


Garsy-- I think you did the right thing by not just letting this go and contacting the teacher, but I would suggest that next time you call or e-mail instead of sending a note. Ty has to put up with this teacher for the rest of the year and if she does end up being a pain about things like this, you'd rather her be annoyed with you for your phone call or e-mail than mad at him for handing her the note. Just a thought [:)]



garsyt -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/27/2008 5:07:48 PM)

quote:

Garsy-- I think you did the right thing by not just letting this go and contacting the teacher, but I would suggest that next time you call or e-mail instead of sending a note. Ty has to put up with this teacher for the rest of the year and if she does end up being a pain about things like this, you'd rather her be annoyed with you for your phone call or e-mail than mad at him for handing her the note. Just a thought


That was hubby's decision this morning. He did include his e-mail address and our phone number in the note. He handed the tissues and note in today but I haven't heard anything back yet.

Blessings,

Garsy



stellaluna -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/27/2008 5:11:11 PM)

Do you want me to call? I don't mind. [;)] [:D]



coolfamily6 -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/27/2008 7:45:01 PM)

I do not think that students should be punished (grades or otherwise) when their parents do not send in noneducation supplies. When I was in 5th grade our teacher actually put up a posted with each child's name and all the supplies listed. She put a star in the boxes as the supplies were brought in. When we had all the stars; we got a prize. My mom was a single mom to 5 children and my dad basically abandoned us so no support. Needless, to say I only got the educational essentials. I was the last child without all the stars and yes that teacher left the poster up. Finally, my mom was able to send the last things in (I do not remember if I reminder her). The teacher made a big production of giving me my "prize": a bag of stale Cheetos. [:'(] I was so embarrassed by the whole thing.

My two oldest are in middle school, we received their supply list in early July. But we did not know what their electives were so we had additional supplies to buy last weekend and I forgot the composition notebooks they needed for Band. So I said we'll just stop at Walgreen's on the way to school Monday morning. They were out, as was WalMart and CVS. [&:][&:][&:] Both kids were marked off on their homework for the days they have not had those notebooks. This morning in complete frustration I ran in my younger daughter's class and asked to have one of her composition notebooks back and the other child got a notebook that was partially used a few years ago when we were homeschooling.



OHmom3 -> RE: Teachers and parents - please weigh in on this problem. (8/27/2008 8:05:02 PM)

I just don't get why high schoolers need to bring tissues. Boys can put a small purse sized package in their pockets if they need to. Girls can put them in a purse or pocket.

And why would the teacher need a box from all the students? What, with 25 or so kids per class, who has room to store all these boxes?



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