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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 1:29:55 PM
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macokjc
Posts: 289
Joined: 2/24/2008
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quote:
The Bible specifically says not to withold sex except for prayer and fasting--never does it encourage any kind of birth control.
I'll have to look up this passage again - but first of all - this is between married people, and I always thought it was talking about with-holding sex as a punishment. After lunch I will study it again.
Please don't mis-understand my use of the word "science." Life is miraculous, and the process of growing a baby truly only can come from God. In fact, I view every part of science as a miracle from God: whether it be birth, our human bodies, gravity, tides, the rotation of the solar system, etc... However, pregnancy is a cause and effect thing. Could God prevent people from getting pregnant if He didn't think they would be fit parents? Of course HE could, but we all know he doesn't -just as he doesn't stop a lot of evil from happening in the world. God made man w/ a free will, and God's permissive will is not always HIS perfect will.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 1:30:38 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3939
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: bluestone
You are right. Dollar coins were used as diaprams in teh old West.
Ouch.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 1:31:04 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 4867
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From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
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quote:
In Bible days absitnence was the only means of not getting pregnant.
What about withdrawl? I know there was an instance in the OT where someone "spilled his seed on the ground", so obviously they knew about that too.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 1:31:17 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2940
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
quote:
People would only assume that if they don't know you. And you can hardly be blamed for what people like that would choose to believe about you.
But it still bothers me. Because they might then participate in discussions and say "Yeah, I know this lady. She has THREE kids and says more would more blessings. So she thinks she's *more* blessed than me with my two...." OR "When I asked her why she has so many kids she said she "trusted God with her fertility". Humph. I trust God too. Who does she think she is?". 
Well, first of all, the fact that your husband stays well employed is a point in your favor.
Instead of saying, "I trust God with my fertility," perhaps you could say you feel personally convicted to let God take care of that area in your own life, but you understand if other people feel otherwise led by the Lord.
As far as the blessings thing, you could say that you consider your 3 children wonderful blessings, but you think someone with even one child is equally blessed.
But ultimately you can't control what others think or say.
But a humble attitude does shine, and you have one of those, so I wouldn't worry too much.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 1:35:56 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 5792
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
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quote:
What about withdrawl? I know there was an instance in the OT where someone "spilled his seed on the ground", so obviously they knew about that too.
And it was not spoken of as a good thing, lol.
I think a family with any number of children needs to do their best to provide for them, but personally I could not use birth control, regardless of my finances, as it truly goes against what I believe. So I don't think I can say that others need to use something I am personally against so as not to affect me, either. That would be hypocritical. And I don't think that others' ideassssssss of wisdom or stewardship should have anything to do with my beliefs or sex life. Like I said, this isn't about buying a car or house that is above one's means. And there is not one verse in the Bible telling someone NOT to have children.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 1:39:48 PM
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CoeurdeLeon_
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quote:
And I don't think that others' ideassssssss of wisdom or stewardship should have anything to do with my beliefs or sex life.
And you're right. As long as you aren't asking those others to pay for it.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 1:39:54 PM
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Jenny-Fair
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From: WA
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Withdrawl has a pretty low percentage of effectiveness.
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Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 1:40:19 PM
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bluestone
Posts: 2934
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Maybe God expects people to use the brains he has given them.
and people who use
"coitus enteruptus" as a means of birth control are normally called parents about nine months later. Withdrawal is a hit and miss method.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 1:45:36 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2940
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From: California
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
quote:
People would only assume that if they don't know you. And you can hardly be blamed for what people like that would choose to believe about you.
But it still bothers me. Because they might then participate in discussions and say "Yeah, I know this lady. She has THREE kids and says more would more blessings. So she thinks she's *more* blessed than me with my two...." OR "When I asked her why she has so many kids she said she "trusted God with her fertility". Humph. I trust God too. Who does she think she is?".
Well, first of all, the fact that your husband stays well employed is a point in your favor.
Instead of saying, "I trust God with my fertility," perhaps you could say you feel personally convicted to let God take care of that area in your own life, but you understand if other people feel otherwise led by the Lord.
As far as the blessings thing, you could say that you consider your 3 children wonderful blessings, but you think someone with even one child is equally blessed.
But ultimately you can't control what others think or say.
But a humble attitude does shine, and you have one of those, so I wouldn't worry too much.
And also, don't get mad if you get pregnant,lol, though I don't think you would.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 1:48:27 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 5792
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The concept of being mad at being pregnant baffles me. Even at 17 and unmarried, I was not mad that I was pregnant.
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Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 1:53:49 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3939
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
The concept of being mad at being pregnant baffles me. Even at 17 and unmarried, I was not mad that I was pregnant.
That's not that unusual. Lots of unmarried, teenage girls are happy and excited to be pregnant; they don't fully understand the enormous impact it's going to have on their lives and their future, but they're still happy to be pregnant.
I more hear of mature adults being upset at being pregnant. Maybe they're in the middle of their internship, maybe they have 3 kids already and feel overwhelmed as it is, whatever the reason.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 1:54:48 PM
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LaurainAL
Posts: 1228
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I would probably be mad....and then get over it and go on. But, yeah, I would not be happy.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 1:58:46 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2940
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LaurainAL
I would probably be mad....and then get over it and go on. But, yeah, I would not be happy.
Yeah, but you don't claim to be QF, either, so that makes more sense. I have seriously known QF people who got mad when they got pregnant...it's like duh, what did they expect?
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 1:58:52 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 5792
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
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I am 33 now, though, and still can't fathom being angry. But then, I think babies are blessings-truly, without reservations, blessings. I do not think of them as burdens, life-interrupters, inconveniences, etc. All that is pretty common in this culture, so I guess it happens that women are angry at being pregnant. I don't understand how a woman who calls herself QF could also find her blessings to be curses, though. 
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Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 2:06:38 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3939
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LaurainAL
I would probably be mad....and then get over it and go on. But, yeah, I would not be happy.
Oh my mom cried when she found out she was pregnant with me. Buckets o' tears. But you know, she's human. She and my dad were making ends meet, just starting out their married life; she was starting her career and she was pretty thrown off by my upcoming arrival.
She got over it, too. And she's been the best mom a girl could ask for.  I don't blame her one bit for her feelings. She never treated me like a "burden, life-interrupter, inconvenience, etc". She was upset, and she dealt with it.
But if we're being honest, children are a burden sometimes, they do often interrupt a person's life, and they are often terribly inconvenient.
Doesn't mean they aren't wonderful blessings, too, and the best thing besides my husband that ever happened to me. The two realities coexist quite well for me. I am insanely grateful and proud to be Nathan's mother, but that doesn't mean I don't treasure the times when he's asleep! 
_____________________________
This warranty does not include shark bites, bear attacks and children under five.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 2:12:20 PM
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bluestone
Posts: 2934
Joined: 2/25/2008
From: United States of America
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I think it is the woman in her late 30's, early 40's, who is tired, drained, and weary from living a life on the edge of poverty and spending a good part of her adult life pregnant and raising kids...and finds out she is pregnant yet again that can get angry.
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I need Christ. Not something that resembles Christ.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 2:12:27 PM
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LaurainAL
Posts: 1228
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I wish I could give out stars Sideways. That was a great post.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 2:56:28 PM
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P31W
Posts: 2942
Joined: 6/13/2005
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Speaking of the bible. Let's look at ALL of it and if you apply one portion to yourself then you must apply the rest.
How many days did God say to work?
Can anyone point me to scripture that teaches it's society's (lost world/government) responsibility to care for children of believers?
What does scripture teach about whose responsibility it is?
Are you going outside the confines of scripture inorder to seek worldly support rather than "trust God" to give you a biblical means of support for your children?
Maybe you who belong to the QF group need to figure out a way to provide for you own? Otherwise it appears to me that some of you have completely shot your witness. I know you have with me. Don't expect me to fall over and believe some of the garbage you are peddling when it's "ME" having to feed your children and pay for their medical needs.
It's hogwash.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 3:03:27 PM
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P31W
Posts: 2942
Joined: 6/13/2005
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quote:
Perhaps if she had kept her skirts pulled down....
Just read this to the office gang!! They love it.
I've had a blast on this thread. I have to leave now. I am in Mississippi and we have people from the costal areas and New Orleans coming in. Rain and Wind is a blessing from the Lord and but God also game some of us a brain and we use it.
Of course if I had a house full of children on welfare I could use that as a "godly" excuse to get out of helping all these people who are flooding into town.
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