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RE: Guys: Why do you not want to settle down? - 8/22/2008 3:25:11 PM
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APZR
Posts: 911
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: GA
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: usa777
Where the heck are all of the Christian men like you? I'm 47 and still not married because the Christian men refuse to grow up and take steps toward marriage. They continue to hold the attitudes of a teenager - it's all about them, they want their freedom, not wanting to "tie themselves down", etc. It's so ridiculous that at this point I've given up totally. Not looking anymore. Sorry if I sound fed up, but because of this selfishness I've given up my lifelong dreams of marriage and children.
You were so wise to do what you did - marry and enjoy the wife of your youth, as the Bible says! I just can't understand why, when even so many non-Christian men marry at a reasonable age (keep in mind almost all of these men are getting premarital sex), the Christians keep holding out for decades.
Boy, that venting felt good 
 Well glad I could help you vent. But you are right, it's all about selfishness and attitude. I don't hang around negative people because they WILL rub off onto you. So maybe a change of scenery is in order... new address, new city, new social activities?
_____________________________
Ya can't keep trouble from visitin, but you don't have to offer it a chair.
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RE: Guys: Why do you not want to settle down? - 8/22/2008 5:49:45 PM
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backrowbaptist
Posts: 380
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: fingerprintsofgod
backrowbaptist:
yes i am attached to a guy, and we've been together for close to 7 years.
he has plans for us - marriage in about 4 years.
i'm just trying to bring it forward - any advice?
and how to?
yes i really want to get married, as soon as possible.
don't want to be alone anymore.
i can't force him can i?
i want him to be happy too!
ARGH. big headache.
Not much advice for you, I'm afraid. As I said, by staying with him as long as you have, you've basically shown him it's okay that he won't commit, and if he's the only one you want, then you must want a man who won't settle down. That's the way a lot of men see these things. And I seriously doubt he'll be ready in 4 yrs.
Unfortunately, he has to lose you before he realizes that he's blowing it. My advice, break it off for good, with the caveat that the only way you'll take him back is with a ring and a firm date. Then stick to your guns, even look for someone else. They're out there. Hard to find, but they're there.
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Any of this gettin' through to you, son?
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RE: Guys: Why do you not want to settle down? - 8/23/2008 1:58:16 AM
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fingerprintsofgod
Posts: 49
Joined: 8/19/2008
Status: offline
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thanks all! i will try to reply soon again...
read buckifn's msg...
somehow...i think that's what my bf thinks.
do i only have one option? to wait?
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RE: Guys: Why do you not want to settle down? - 8/23/2008 11:44:24 AM
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fingerprintsofgod
Posts: 49
Joined: 8/19/2008
Status: offline
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revbob4god, usa777:
he is still studying now.
he is set to complete his degree end of this year
but might move on to further his studies for another year
if i give him the ultimate ultimatum-
either marry me, or break off,
he might choose the latter-only because he'd think it would make me happier...(to find another guy tt can marry me now/earlier)
all he's asking for is abit more time.
i only want to marry him. it seems i'm left without a choice...
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RE: Guys: Why do you not want to settle down? - 8/23/2008 11:51:03 AM
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fingerprintsofgod
Posts: 49
Joined: 8/19/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: buckifn
depends on the age...early 20's I was very into sports, hanging out with buddies, not to mention finishing college...so there wasn't time to date anyone long enough to get to the point of wanting to marry her.
Plus I never wanted to start out struggling...so saving money was high priority. I would never think it is ok to start a family without knowing how you are going to provide for them.
I also taught my daughter's don't even consider marrying someone who can't prove to you in writing how he is going to provide for his family.
READ THE ABOVE. and that's my bf's pov as well.
Child4Jesus: and hence that might answer your question.
to provide for me financially, and for our family.
and goals and dreams he has, and things he has to do before settling down perhaps?
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RE: Guys: Why do you not want to settle down? - 8/27/2008 2:24:59 AM
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fingerprintsofgod
Posts: 49
Joined: 8/19/2008
Status: offline
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ive posted in relationships.7yrs n wanting to get married.
there's nothing i can do...
it seems that's it.
praying that the 4 yrs will fly by
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RE: Guys: Why do you not want to settle down? - 9/11/2008 8:19:46 AM
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MAP2010
Posts: 53
Joined: 9/11/2008
Status: offline
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Here is the problem so many look for a person to have fun with, people do not look for some one who they think would be the one. Do you ever ask will He/Her be a good Mother/Father? will this person be a good friend and caring to my needs? After I lose my looks to age will they love me still? If you meet some one at a bar, why would you ask "Why do they Drink and goto Bars"? People say I would never after I was married, yet you do it now. Men who did not want to settle down with you only had themselves in mind, but did you ask if they would be a good father to your kids oneday?
Mark
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