Women Traveling Alone (Full Version)

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humbleinspirit -> Women Traveling Alone (8/10/2008 1:47:41 AM)

What precautions do you take when traveling alone? This is a continuation of a conversation that started in singles.



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/10/2008 1:54:49 AM)

Mike, I'm going to cheat and post a portion of one of my posts from that other thread. [:D]


quote:



For the very vast majority of the time, no, I don't really have any concerns that are specific to traveling alone as a female. Frankly, I am more concerned about making my connecting flights when I only have 30 minutes and I have to run past almost 100 terminals to get to mine; I love those moving sidewalks (and also the escalators). LOL

Within the past 2 years, I have taken numerous flights and even a few bus trips. I have also slept in several motel rooms, a couple of cabins and even a bed-and-breakfast (which I highly recommend; that was really fun!)

There was one time, on a 12-hour bus trip, that I didn't feel the most comfortable, but that was due to some of the other passengers; not necessarily because I was traveling alone as a single woman. There was also a very late night taxi-drive that I didn't exactly relish, but that was because of the part of town that the taxi had to drive through from the bus station to get to the more decent motels (and in all probability, I will most likely try to never be in that type of situation again).

But the thing is . . . being a single woman, I could be perceived as an easy target anywhere; including the town where I live. I certainly have run into my share of, uhm, potentially dangerous people just while being out and about while running errands within a couple of miles from my house. There's really not a lesser or greeat of danger based on where one is; that's often really just a misconception that people have; a false sense of security, so to speak, regarding where someone lives . . . which then often leads to a over-heightened sense of danger regarding unfamiliar places.

I do a lot of common-sense things to keep me safe (both when I'm traveling and when I'm not). I also listen to my instincts; and if they're telling me something about a situation isn't right or safe, then I take notice and respond accordingly.

Last December, during that 12-hour bus trip, there was a layover for about 3 hours. I went to the snack area, got a bottle of water and went to a table and sat down. A guy got up from his table, came over to mine, and asked me if I minded if he joined me. There was something about him that was literally making my skin crawl. So, I looked him in the eye and said, "Yes, I do mind." He looked a bit taken aback and asked me to repeat myself, so I did.

I don't put up with a lot of stuff like that; in fact, I have a zero tolerance for it.

As women and especially as Christian women, so many of us are often taught to be polite, etc., etc. There are actually situations in which we should be as firm and straightforward as possible. Our personal safety is definitely one of those situations.

Which brings me to something else . . . anything can happen to anyone at anytime and anywhere. BUT . . . in the midst of that reality lies an even greater reality . . . that God is with me wherever I go; Abba, Jesus and His Holy Spirit. And THAT's where my comfort and guidance lies. [sm=icon_smile_sing.gif][sm=icon_smile_sing.gif][sm=icon_smile_sing.gif]



humbleinspirit -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/10/2008 1:56:54 AM)

Okie dokie, works for me. Now I have to go back to the other thread and see what I was gonna comment to you on.



humbleinspirit -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/10/2008 2:00:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings

Oh.

That's interesting.



I can't ever think of an instance where I've seen a hotel's guest register . . . but then, I've never intentionally looked for one neither. I guess if someone is really determined to find a woman traveling alone, he's (or she's) going to be successful.


I've never even thought of how I sign the guest register before; I've just always signed my name.


I think it has to do more with someone calling you, etc. They also say to demand a different hotel room if the desk announces your room number out loud also.



ebony101 -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/10/2008 5:57:02 AM)

If anyone asks tell them that your husband is arriving on a later flight, or if it's the evening on a later day.



car2ner -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/10/2008 8:07:36 AM)

hmm, bed and breakfasts are nice... expensive but worth it if you can afford it.
In a motel, traveling alone I would want an indoor room and make reservations in advance. With m'love we usually want a ground floor outdoor room so we can keep an eye on our bike. I don't really travel alone anymore, though.



Sideways -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/10/2008 9:21:41 AM)

Before I became a SAHM I traveled for business, one year I took at least 7 business trips - all requiring plane flights. I do the same things as I do here. I stay alert, keep my wits about me and listen to my instincts.

I've had one instance where I was taking a class out of town and a fellow classmate somehow got my room number and both called me and came to my room, drunk. I dealt with him firmly. Thankfully he wasn't actually dangerous, just a little intoxicated. But I'm aware that drunk men can be dangerous, and I handled it just fine.



rgod -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/10/2008 9:24:18 AM)

I travel a lot by myself. Here is what I do:

1. Make all reservations, etc. ahead of time. I tried to arrive at the hotel before dark and check in early.

2. If I'm at the same place for several days I vary my schedule a lot. But I try not to be out after dark unless it is absolutely necessary.

3. If I sit down to eat at the hotel restaurant (which is rare) I try to eat near a group of people who I could look like I'm with. That way I never appear alone.

4. I do not stay on the first floor unless absolutely necessary. I like to stay somewhere near the front desk if I can and always in a lighted area. If I don't like the location of my room I will ask them to change it.

5. I lock my door as soon as I enter the room - with the chain. I was in a hotel in California once and the girl at the front desk was busy chatting with her boyfriend on the phone while she was swiping my room key. I went to the room and did something unusual, I locked the door with chain/bar immediately upon entering. 10 minutes later, someone else tried to enter the room - he had a key (the front desk girl had given him the exact same room and swipe card). I yelled through the door that he had the wrong room, but he kept trying to enter the room anyway - even though he heard me. I am physically a small woman and normally have a soft voice, but somehow out of me came this very aggressive tough policeman-type voice. I told the guy to back off - that this was not his room. I scared myself a little to be honest. When he heard that he immediately stopped and left. I had no other problems there.

6. I will bypass any hotel that looks seedy. I rented something online a few months ago but when I got to the hotel is was in a bad neighborhood (the hotel registration desk was behind bullet proof glass). I didn't even leave my car. Needless to say, I went elsewhere. I lost money but it wasn't worth risking my life.

7. I try to have activities planned in advance and always look like I know where I'm going (even if I don't).

8. I never admit that I'm alone. I'll use the word "we" if I'm talking to someone that I don't know. It will be casual like "We saw that yesterday. Have you been? It was beautiful." No one needs to know that it was just me and the Lord :) If someone creeps me out - I don't even start the conversation.

9. I try to stay near people when I'm in the airport. I'll sit near people that look like me and will bring a book or magazine. I'll ask questions of other women. If I'm traveling alone, I sometimes like to dress up a bit so I look like I'm heading out on a business trip. I don't know if this works, but it is a good explanation for why a woman might be traveling alone.

That's all that I can think of right now off the top of my head. I've got to get ready for church, but if I think of more, I'll post it.

rgod



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/10/2008 1:23:38 PM)

I've been trying to think if I do anything different when I'm traveling versus when I'm not.

I really can't think of anything, in that regard.




I lock my doors, both when I'm at home and when I'm traveling.

When I'm at home, I don't answer my door after dark; I don't even ask who it is. If I'm expecting someone, that's different; but if I'm not expecting anyone, I just simply ignore anyone knocking on the door or ringing the doorbell.

I do the same thing when I'm in a motel room; except I never answer the door at a motel (day or night) unless I am expecting someone. I guess that's one thing that I do a bit differently.

If someone tried to come in (whether at my home or at a motel), I probably would very firmly tell the person to leave or else I would call 911 immediately.



I don't order room service nor do I have the front desk send anything to my room.
If I'm hungry I go out to eat; if I need something, I'll go down to the front desk and get it myself. (Partly for safety reasons; partly because I don't like strangers in my home; even if my home is a motel room for a couple of nights).

Eating alone doesn't bother me at all. For me, that goes right back to what I had said in my previous post about a perceived sense of safety . . . when I'm not traveling and I go out to eat, the very vast majority of the time, I eat alone. It's as much of a potential danger for me to eat alone in the area where I live as it is for me to eat alone when I'm traveling. Besides, I've met some pretty neat people in restaurants. I've met some unsavory ones as well; but that's life anywhere and anytime.



Since I don't drive, I don't go out after dark alone - whether I'm traveling or not. But part of that is for safety and part of that is simply preference. The exception being is if where I need to go is well-lit along the entire journey.

Regardless of the time of day, I am mindful of my surroundings and of the people; but again, that's just standard operating procedure for me regardless of whether I'm traveling or not.

I'm not a fan of public restrooms and endeavor to not use them unless absolutely necessary. Part of that is personal preference; part for safety reasons. I won't use a public restroom that's "out of the way" from everything; that part is definitely for safety.



I'm not very forthcoming with information about myself or about my activities. If I'm enjoying someone's company and they ask questions, I'll answer them vaguely; if I don't get a good feel about them, chances are I won't be having a conversation with them in them in the first place. But again, with people that I don't know, I also do that when I'm not traveling.




For me, I just don't see traveling as being any more or less dangerous than not traveling. Neither do I see doing things in or near one's town where they live as being any more or less safe than traveling. I actually think that mindset is, in and of itself, dangerous. It has the potential to lull people into a false sense of security when they're not traveling . . . and false senses of security can be very dangerous.

I think that regardless of whether a woman (or a man, for that matter) is traveling or not, they should practice common sense . . . and above all, pray for Our Lord's Wisdom, Guidance, Discernment and Protection in any situation.



stellaluna -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/10/2008 1:40:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
I've been trying to think if I do anything different when I'm traveling versus when I'm not.

I really can't think of anything, in that regard.
...
For me, I just don't see traveling as being any more or less dangerous than not traveling. Neither do I see doing things in or near one's town where they live as being any more or less safe than traveling. I actually think that mindset is, in and of itself, dangerous. It has the potential to lull people into a false sense of security when they're not traveling . . . and false senses of security can be very dangerous.

I think that regardless of whether a woman (or a man, for that matter) is traveling or not, they should practice common sense . . . and above all, pray for Our Lord's Wisdom, Guidance, Discernment and Protection in any situation.

Same here. I didn't marry until age 36 and found that I'd much rather travel alone than with random people. I've traveled lots of different places by myself and I just don't think it's that big a deal. IN FACT, I think all women should travel alone. It's good for you.



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/10/2008 1:42:07 PM)

Yes, it is! I very much agree with that.



cherryfly -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/10/2008 3:46:07 PM)

I traveled for the first time by myself from my home in Florida, to Italy. It was also my first time in a foreign country! Needless to say, I was very intimidated, but ran into no problems at all (safety, or otherwise). But anywhere I am, whether traveling or at home, I always stay alert to possible escape routes. For example, if I'm walking down the sidewalk on a lonely street, I always keep my eyes one step ahead and look for blind corners/people in parked cars etc. And mind you, I don't do this out of paranoia, but just out of habit now.

But I also took martial arts for a couple years, and I always have in the back of my mind possible defense moves if someone jumps out at me, grabs my bag etc. That is almost the most comforting thing, knowing I have the ability to protect myself bare handed, if there is no other defense ASAP. Well, granted I didn't take karate very long, but it will at least surprise an attacker.



car2ner -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/11/2008 8:17:29 AM)

I knew some single women who never went out alone. I figured that I would miss out on too much that way so I often went to events by myself... but only if I was comfortable and familiar with the area. Now m'love tells me "you aren't single anymore" and doesn't like me adventuring out by myself as much. So for his peace of mind, I wait and we adventure together. We have a great time so it is not really a sacrifice.



hotsaucygma -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/11/2008 2:35:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
I lock my doors, both when I'm at home and when I'm traveling.

When I'm at home, I don't answer my door after dark; I don't even ask who it is. If I'm expecting someone, that's different; but if I'm not expecting anyone, I just simply ignore anyone knocking on the door or ringing the doorbell.


I know I should lock my doors more than I do, I don't very often wether I am at home or not at home. LOL, my DS-1 yells at me all the time about that.

But the second part I agree with and do often Sharon-Marie- in fact it caused quite a ruckus in my church singles group at one point. I don't remember for sure what the situation was (I had a couple really bad years- Mom in and out of the hospital, Mom's death, one son going through a divorce, Ex died and issues with probate etc., so I don't remember what specific thing was going on) but at 9 pm I was at home, in jammies watching TV when someone knocked on my door. I did not answer it. They were fairly persistent, but I did not answer- period. Well it was one of the men from the singles group, he had stopped by to tell me he was sorry about whatever it was that was going on in my life and wanted to pray with me. He was very upset that he could tell I was home (TV going and light on) but I didn't answer. I explained that I didn't know who it was and was not able to answer- that I do not answer the door that late at night if I am not expecting someone. It kept coming up as an issue in discussions in our Sunday School class etc. Sheesh. First off, it is my perogotive when/if I answer my door, and just because he knew he was a "safe" person, didn't mean I did! It was surprising to me that several of the men in the group didn't understand that answering the door at that time of night without having invited someone over, was a safety concern for a single woman...



I haven't done any traveling alone, but intend to start doing more. Unfortunately my closest women friends have kids at home still, or are too financially challanged to travel much right now, and I have decided that I'm not going to let that stop me from going. I have actually appreciated some of the things i've read here, and will use some of them as I venture out on my own.



sudden -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/11/2008 4:30:27 PM)

Hi Humble:

Me again. I used to travel by myself a lot when I was in my 20s. Spent months and months away from home. I'm not sure what you mean by precautions.

I bought health insurance if that is what you mean and purchased my airline tickets/rail tickets in advance and carried maps with me so I'd know where I was going.

I think that would be about it.

Sudden



KuKu -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/11/2008 4:58:54 PM)

Mike, I have to think this one out... this could be a looooooooooooooong post LOL...

Shamar- thanks for reminding me how weird I really am- until I read your first post, US trips weren't even in my thought process... LOL- flying from one US city to another seems so 'normal'- it doesn't even count as 'traveling'; much less as a single female needing to be cautious[8|]- some of my other trips, however- now that's traveling LOL



mutinywxgirl -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/11/2008 7:29:07 PM)

I've ridden the NYC subway - alone - in the middle of the night. I've gotten off a bus in Chinatown in Manhattan at 4:30am, and then had to get to the subway - alone. I've done all sorts of things - alone. I don't even give traveling alone a second thought. It's just something I do.



miasma -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/14/2008 10:34:51 AM)

quote:

I don't even give traveling alone a second thought. It's just something I do.


Yup. I wouldn't take any further precautions travelling single, than I would if I were with a group.



bootsNspurs_mod -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/15/2008 6:05:52 AM)

Wow, Lisa... I would be too freaked to do that, I think.

When I'm traveling alone (which is pretty much whenever I travel), I won't stop at a gas station that's not well-lit. I also will try to always stop at truck stops, because they have always got people going in and out, so there is more public than say the middle of nowhere where there is only one other person. If there's only one other person, who's to say that anyone would know if they tried something with you outside of the eyesight of the clerk? If I'm uncomfortable in a place, I will also talk on the phone while I'm there. I'm sure that's a false sense of security, but to me, it helps. I still make it a point to be aware of my surroundings, but I'm a bit calmer with someone to talk to. I alo make a point to not get low on gas. I do not want to be stranded and be at someone else's mercy.

I always am acutely aware of where my purse is when I travel. I'm careful to not leave it unzipped (as I usually do around town), or to have it hang behind my back. I lock my car doors the second I get out, and I unlock them when I'm right next to it, and lock them again immediately after I get inside. I do the same at a hotel. I also will lock the chain and any other lock available at a motel room - every time I go into the room whether it's the middle of the day or not.

If I do go out for something at night when I'm traveling, I let someone know. Even if that someone is not in the same state, I will let them know and give them an approximate time that I expect to be back. That way, at least someone knows where I am. I also will give all of my travel plans, where I'm staying, my route, etc, to a good friend. I check in with them along the way, too. That way if something does happen, they have a starting point to look for me. And it won't be an entire week before someone thinks to look, either. I check in daily with whoever it is.

One other thing that I pay attention to is what road I'm on, and a general cross street or general location if possible. If something happens, I need to be able to give someone at least a general vacinity of where I'm at.

All that said, I enjoy traveling alone, and I do think it's good for a woman to do it.



Grace-N-Mercy -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/15/2008 7:21:09 AM)

I have no problems in traveling alone... I enjoy traveling and, if I have no traveling partner, I just go. People look at me funny, though, when I tell them I'm going somewhere by myself. Some shake their heads and say I'm "too independent"; some ask me if I'm scared. Now I look at them as if they're off their rocker! [:D]



rgod -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/18/2008 10:25:17 AM)

quote:

If I do go out for something at night when I'm traveling, I let someone know. Even if that someone is not in the same state, I will let them know and give them an approximate time that I expect to be back. That way, at least someone knows where I am. I also will give all of my travel plans, where I'm staying, my route, etc, to a good friend. I check in with them along the way, too. That way if something does happen, they have a starting point to look for me. And it won't be an entire week before someone thinks to look, either. I check in daily with whoever it is.


I do this too. I always forward a copy of my itinerary to my family (at the very least) as well as any phone numbers (to the hotel etc.).



phosadaud -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (8/19/2008 4:10:14 PM)

I travel alone all the time and I enjoy it and have never had any problems (well, aside from once when I was a teenager but I kept my wits about me and handled the situation very well & successfully). I think whether you are a man or a woman, the keys are to be aware and act aware. Know what's going on around you. Someone looking for a target is going to look for the person who is lost and clueless - not the person who is confident, head up and seems to know what they are doing. Even if I'm totally lost, I maintain a confident outlook.

I take basic precautions that everyone should take: Lock my doors, be alert to potential threats, know where everyone around me is at and who is watching me and who may be paying "too much attention". I don't leave valuables or anything that would be a tempting target in plain view. Ever. Most victims are folks who don't use basic safety protocols. They leave things unlocked, they "show off" or leave in plain sight things of value, they aren't paying attention around them, they are too trusting, and it's obvious they simply aren't paying attention. It's like they have a neon sign above their heads: victimize me!

Most important - I listen to my gut. If my gut says "danger!", I heed it. If my gut says "stay away!", I stay away. I can't tell you how many times my gut saved me from a lot of grief.



creationtalk -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (9/2/2008 8:23:35 AM)

I can only think of around 4 or 5 times in the past 25 years when I traveled with someone (other than my young son, recently). I don't think I did anything different. Even when he was an infant.



Harvie -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (9/12/2008 8:04:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit

What precautions do you take when traveling alone? This is a continuation of a conversation that started in singles.


The same precautions that I take any time I am alone. I endeavor to remain aware of my surroundings, I am cautious in what I say, I pray fervently, and I trust God.



wfisaac -> RE: Women Traveling Alone (9/14/2008 1:35:55 PM)

I have travelled long distances most of my life. Sometimes flying...sometimes bus....sometimes driving. And I think I just put the basics into practice as far as safety that anyone should use. I have been in a few uncomfortable situations when someone mistook my willingness to talk as meaning more than it was. But I just made sure I was always around where other people were.

I don't want to be unapproachable but yet I know I need to use some wisdom and know some people would take advantage of that. But....that can happen down at the grocery store down the street as well. So...I guess it's just using the normal common sense things to be safe but yet not be controlled by fear.



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