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Kingsbride -> update on custody battle - long sorry (8/9/2008 6:25:21 PM)
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Hello everyone! I have been writing you about the custody situation with my 11 yr old daughter and asking for prayer. This is an update...
As of last Friday my attorney told me he can't represent me because of a schedualing conflict...we have a hearing on August 7th because my ex is wanting custody of our daughter. This man in no way needs custody of a little girl! He is not a stable parent at all and has a vendetta against me and this is the only reason he is even doing this. In July I was supposed to meet him to drop her off for visitation with him and there was misscommunication between my attorney and I and I didn't realize that was the date so I missed it. The judge is very upset and thinks his order was blatantly refused by me. I called another attorney and she wants to represent me but can't be there for the hearing Thursday so she called the judge to see if he would reschedual the hearing so she could represent me. He said she wasn't my attorney and he wouldn't even talk to her. She told me he is very upset with me and that he already has a mindset against me because I missed that visit. So, she called my other attorney and told him it was his responsibility to NOT leave me hanging and that he needed to make this right. So he called me and we put together a letter to my ex's attorney asking that they would agree to her visiting him for 6 weeks (instead of the hearing). The reason he wants the visit is because he wants to have a custody study done (which means he wants to have her evaluated by a psychologist to see if she would be better off with him or me) and he said I interfered with that when I didn't bring her for the July visit. So we proposed that he could have her for the next 8 weeks to have that done and then have the hearing to let the judge decide where our daughter should live based on the study. So...I need your prayers now! We need to storm the gates of heaven on behalf of this little girl who is terrified to live with this man.
update...
We are home from the hearing. It was a 15 hr drive one way so we are pretty worn out. Besides the fact that it has been a very emotional week. God was so good to me on the way there. I was worried and not doing good so I started reading the psalms and wow! God really spoke to me and all of a sudden I had an understanding I had never had before. You know how you hear things over and over and they don't mean much and then one day they just 'click'? That's what happened. I was praying and I hear 'walk by faith, not by sight'. Now, I have heard that hundreds of times and I understand it but I didnt really 'GET IT'. Peter, when he was walking on the water, was doing great as long as he kept his eyes and mind fixed on Jesus. The minute he started noticing the waves lapping around him and he thought about what was going on and what he was actually doing, he couldn't do it anymore. He started sinking. We must not look at our circumstances. If we do we will be overwhelmed and not be able to focus. It's when we fix our eyes on Christ and know that no matter what is happening around us, we abide in the shadow of His wing and that nothing will happen that He doesn't ordain, so if it happens God must have a plan and a reason for it. We don't always have to know or ever see the end result, but there IS a plan and He IS in control. God spoke to me that though everything looks bad, thought the enemy looks like he is winning, though things don't make sense to us and we can't see how this could be good...it's when we have the faith of a child, and know that we know that we know that He is in control and we don't need to worry about it, then we can have that peace that surpasses all understanding that God talks about.
I was reading in psalm 37 that the enemy plans his wicked schemes and the Lord laughs at him because He knows his end is near. God was saying, no matter what you see or hear, don't worry about it, I got it under control. They aren't getting away with what they think they are.
So at the hearing...the judge was very upset with me because I missed that July visit that he supposedly ordered and my attorney didnt tell me about until after the fact.
He said the fact that I missed it was no big deal because people mess up, but the fact that the visit was July 7th and it took me til July 26th to respond. I looked back on my emails and the date that my attorney contacted me about missing the visit was July 8th. I contacted him and said I would make that up immediately and then didnt hear back from him until July 23rd! When the judge asked in court why it took so long to make up that date, my attorney said he didnt know why it took so long and let me take the wrap for that instead of admitting he is the one who didn't get back to me so we could set it up. I wasnt allowed to speak up for myself. Thats when the judge started yelling at me that we wouldn't even be here if I would have delivered her like I was ordered to. He wouldnt give me the chance to say that I didnt know about it because my attorney never told me until it was too late!
During the whole hearing I was made to look like the bad guy while my ex sat there gloating. The judge was actually yelling at me pointing his finger in my face! As he was doing that the scripture psalm 37 went through my head and I could see God up there laughing and I had this sudden urge to bust out laughing!! I was praying God please don't let me laugh or even look like I want to laugh! HAHA
Anyway, my ex's attorney wanted my daughter to live with my ex from now through December and then have a trial to determine who got custody. His reasoning was that she needed to have that time to become established in his home, make friends, etc. And during this time she would get counceling to determine if I was trying to alienate him from her.
We proposed that she go there for 6-8 weeks instead and then have the trial at the end of that time.
The whole time the judge was on their side and treated me like dung...but at the very last minute, he ruled in our favor! He gave my ex custody for 7 weeks and then we have the trial October 2nd and go from there. That is so much better than going for 5 months!! Praise God! The bad thing is that I can't see her until the trial. Which I think is so wrong. I have done nothing at all to deserve not being allowed to see my daughter. He on the other hand has been terrible to her. But, God keeps reminding me to trust Him and not look at the circumstances. And I can only call her two times a week. Then I asked the judge, even though I can't call her, shouldn't she be allowed to call me whenever she wants? He said he didn't care how much she called me as long as I dont call her more than twice a week. HAHA I thought that kinda defeated his purpose. The reason behind this is that they are trying to prove I am alienating her from him and that I manipulate her into saying and acting certain ways. So I have talked to her several times a day since she has been gone. haha It is so hard on her and me to not be able to see each other though. We are very close and do many things together.
So...she is with him now, and he enrolled her in school there. The judge said he had to enroll her but that didn't mean she was staying there. He said kids move all the time, no big deal. The judge also said he didn't care if she was starting puberty or not. His words were "Life goes on and we deal with it. No big deal"!! What a heartless man.
It was so hard to have to tell her she had to go home with him and she couldnt see me, her step dad (who is Dad in her heart) or her brothers for 7 weeks. She immediately broke down and sobbed so hard. She latched on to her stepdad and sobbed and my ex walked by and glared at her!!
She called me today and said her dad is being hateful to her. He snarled at her and told her "this can be a good time or this can be a bad time. The choice is yours".
So...my prayer request now is that she keep her courage, keep drawing closer to God, and that he continue to be exposed and that the session with the psychologist goes well and in our favor.
One good thing is that as soon as the hearing was over I officially fired my attorney and hired the woman attorney that I was trying to get and she is already on top of things! God is good!
Thanks so much and God bless!!!
Stacy
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