RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (Full Version)

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bluestone -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 3:45:33 PM)

exactly. I wouldn't attend a wedding of a human and a moose, either.
It is wrong.

edited to correct the wrong impression[;)]



laura... -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 3:49:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bluestone

exactly. I would attend a wedding of a human and a moose, either.
It is wrong.


Umm, do you mean "wouldn't"? &:)



Jenny-Fair -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 3:54:55 PM)

People have entered 'marriages' with more than 2 people, too...and I would not attend.

See, the problem is the people. We aren't saying that we don't love these people or that we don't want them to be happy or anything like that. It's supporting a wrong choice that we want to avoid.



bluestone -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 3:54:57 PM)

yep[:D]



manda59 -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 3:57:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GregandJenny
Manda, I think you're comparing apples and oranges. The problem here is that two guys are getting unionized. I think many here believe that going to the wedding would be approving of the union there for condoning in a way homosexual marriage.



For me personally, I don't believe that attending it equals approving of it.



manda59 -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 4:01:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
See, the problem is the people. We aren't saying that we don't love these people or that we don't want them to be happy or anything like that. It's supporting a wrong choice that we want to avoid.



But a homosexual couple have already made the wrong choice of being together in the first place - the union ceremony is only a tiny part of that. I don't see the point of making going to the ceremony such a major issue, when it's the relationship itself that is sinful.



phosadaud -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 4:03:02 PM)

The entire purpose of attending someone's wedding is to celebrate in the union that couple is about to enter. What other purpose is there? Seriously? Why do some of you go to weddings? For the free cake? [&:]

The fact is, you can and should love people irregardless of their "sin", but there is a tremendous difference between hanging out with them and maybe a sin will happen and attending a ceremy of which the ENTIRE purpose is to celebrate something that is sinful. I'm having a hard time understanding why people are having trouble with that concept.

Jesus ate with sinners. He didn't celebrate their sin. So, invite your gay friend over for a nice dinner & have fun and love him. But don't celebrate him entering into sin. That's not love.



KuKu -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 4:10:57 PM)

I am posting pretty cold here, but I have a question for the OP...

If your friend were getting married to an non-believer of the opposite gender, would you go and support that? I am not sure how different supporting an nonbelieving marriage and supporting 'union' are. If I were willing to support the friend in one, that would pretty much make up my mind about the other...

To clarify my thoughts- two married nonbelievers no more have a 'marriage under God' than do two homosexuals. It can be defended the marriage is not 'in sin'(in the legal sense), but as long as they are not believers, they are no more honoring God than the 'union' is.. so do you 'approve' of one or not the other, or treat them the same, whatever your decision??



Jenny-Fair -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 4:14:25 PM)

I don't think they are the same, KuKu. Show me in the Bible where it says a man and a woman getting married is wrong if they aren't believers, or even that it is invalid, and I will believe you, but I have never seen any such verse. However, the Bible has plenty to say-and all of it negative-about homosexuality.



buckifn -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 4:15:02 PM)

There is another scripture that the op might want to consider.

What fellowship does darkness have with light?



KuKu -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 4:24:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: buckifn

There is another scripture that the op might want to consider.

What fellowship does darkness have with light?


This is my point Jenny-Fair (thanks bfn)- either you accept things 'not God honoring' or you choose to only honor God- not as a legal issue, but as a moral one...



manda59 -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 4:25:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: buckifn
There is another scripture that the op might want to consider.

What fellowship does darkness have with light?




So your take on that verse would presumably mean she shouldn't be friends anyway with the guy?



Jenny-Fair -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 4:31:37 PM)

quote:

This is my point Jenny-Fair either you accept things 'not God honoring' or you choose to only honor God- not as a legal issue, but as a moral one...
Your stance doesn't make sense to me. It isn't wrong for a man and woman to marry, regardless of their beliefs. The Bible never says anything bad about that, does it? But it is very wrong for two men to have sex, and to legitimize two men having sex by having a fake 'marriage' ceremony for it. The Bible backs that up.



manda59 -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 4:32:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
and to legitimize two men having sex by having a fake 'marriage' ceremony for it.


I didn't think that was the purpose of having a "union" ceremony. I thought it was for the tax and legal benefits (as well as being a demonstration of "commitment").



Jenny-Fair -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 4:35:47 PM)

Manda, I don't see either of those options as being more moral..in the one, you are simply claiming legal benefits for your sin, and in the other you are promising to keep sinning for the rest of your life.



KuKu -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 4:38:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair

quote:

This is my point Jenny-Fair either you accept things 'not God honoring' or you choose to only honor God- not as a legal issue, but as a moral one...
Your stance doesn't make sense to me. It isn't wrong for a man and woman to marry, regardless of their beliefs. The Bible never says anything bad about that, does it? But it is very wrong for two men to have sex, and to legitimize two men having sex by having a fake 'marriage' ceremony for it. The Bible backs that up.


Does this include a believer and an unbeliever? Does this include marriage for the sake of 'legal status'? Does this include marriage for other reasons FAR outside of God's design for marriage? Again, I don't argue the legal sense (these unions are now legal too), but a moral one...



Jenny-Fair -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 4:40:35 PM)

A believer marrying an unbeliever would be wrong, and I would likely skip that wedding as well. But to say that a person has to make a choice to attend ALL weddings or to attend only weddings where both bride and groom are believers in good standing is ridiculous, and that is what you are saying.



KuKu -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 4:50:48 PM)

Actually, I do disagree, and I did not say that- that is actually NOT what I think... I was posting the thought for the OP to think about.. as I stated.

I think, before attending any type of ceremony, I'd know the couple well enough to attend or not- unless family, LOL, when it's a lot more grey, simply due to relationships... and, after knowing the issues, decide. I have even considered skipping weddings of believers simply because I knew things that caused me to believe that God being honored wasn't a 'priority' for them...



CheshireMuse -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 5:01:51 PM)

Kat,
If you wish to have a private conversation with me, I'm perfectly ok with that.. However, don't PM me if you have no intention of allowing me to reply.

That's just rude.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kat_D

quote:

Well, since I wasn't there, I can't say, now can I? But, of course, neither can you.... The Bible isn't specific on exactly what sort of socializing took place...
`

Well, you didn't have to be there to know that anytime Jesus was in the presence of sinners he never condoned their sin.

His attitude towards sin and sinners was exemplified when he was confronted with the woman who commited adultery, and this is what he said to her:

11 "Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more." -John 8

If Jesus showed up at the "wedding" being discussed here, His message to these men would be the same as His message to the woman committing adultery.

However, the fact that they are "marrying" solidifies the fact that they have no intention of "sinning no more." To the contrary, they are celebrating their sin and this wedding is the event they have chosen to do that.

I respect Solo for not wanting to participate in that.



CheshireMuse -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 5:12:12 PM)

I think what this whole debacle has boiled down to is this:

Some of us believe one way, some of us believe another way...

Doesn't make anyone here good or bad, or more right or more wrong than anyone else (at least not in my opinion - although some may feel I'm promoting the end of civilization... lol)...

You follow God's will to the best of your ability, and I'll do the same....because, when it's all said and done, I'll answer only for my choices and you'll answer for yours...

:-)



GregandJenny -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 7:06:21 PM)

quote:

The entire purpose of attending someone's wedding is to celebrate in the union that couple is about to enter. What other purpose is there? Seriously? Why do some of you go to weddings? For the free cake?


That's what I am wondering. Any answers?



manda59 -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 7:24:02 PM)

To be there for the person, or persons.

I remember my dh and I going to the wedding of two friends of ours - non-Christians, had been living together before marriage, probably shouldn't have been getting married at all. But we went, we sang the hymns loudly (we were about the only ones), and we greeted the couple warmly. We didn't stay for the reception, it would have just been one big booze up. But it was entirely right that we went, for the sake of the friendship and for remaining in contact.

I also went to a Hindu wedding once, with my family. That was a very interesting experience, and I'd have no hesitation going to another, if I was ever asked.



phosadaud -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 9:10:22 PM)

To be there for what? If going to a ceremony is the only way you keep in touch with someone and if not going is going to break apart a friendship (remember, you don't have to tell people why you aren't going - I'm sure you haven't been able to attend every single wedding you've ever been invited to - I haven't), then it's not a very good friendship. I've had friends and family members that for one reason or another, I was not able to attend their wedding. Our friendship didn't end. We still speak to each other and laugh together and care about each other. I don't understand why a friendship would end simply because you weren't able to attend a wedding. Seriously... Are people really that sensitive? [&:]

The fact is, we shouldn't be going somewhere simply to be a body in a pew. We are not invited to people's ceremonies to be seen. We are invited because people want us to join in the celebration of what they are committing to. If the ceremony is nothing more than getting legal benefits, you don't need an audience to do that. That's not why you are invited. Again, you go to a wedding to celebrate! And if you can show me one single instance in Scripture where Jesus (or even any of the Apostles) attended an event to celebrate a commitment to a lifestyle of sin, I'll shut up.

So, love your friend. Invite them over for dinner and a movie. But don't think that means you have to celebrate their sin.

Personally, if someone celebrated something with me that they thought was a sin, I would be offended that they were being fake to me.



manda59 -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 9:18:58 PM)

I'm not talking about maintaining the friendship for one's own sake, but keeping the connection with them open for Christ's sake.

If the OP doesn't go, it will be very obvious why she didn't go. Not being able to go, and choosing not to go when one is perfectly able, are two very different things.



Onecontent -> RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? (8/6/2008 10:14:50 PM)

Not attending the ceremony but going to the reception is a practical compromise. Your friend knows that you disapprove of his lifestyle.

When people marry the primary loyalty is supposed to be with the spouse. Your friend has chosen whom he will put first in his life. I hope the invitation is not a line drawn in the sand but it very well may be.

Thank your friend for the invitation and explain that you do want to keep a friendship. Marriage changes the nature of friendships when the couple is heterosexual. Even if you supported gay marriage, the nature of your friendship with this man would change.

What would you like your relationship with your friend to be in the future? Could you be a friend if it was a heterosexual couple and you could not stand the potential spouse? How would you be a friend?

I hope that a deep friendship with your friend could survive you choosing to not attend the ceremony. If it cannot then you will have to let this man go.



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