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funny_girl -> RE: Always Stressed??? (8/6/2008 12:57:13 PM)
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I've offered to take him back several times but my husband said he's wiggled his way into our hearts. We'll adopt him if we can. Another thing I told him yesterday was that maybe he'll always be stressed, look at his father. I didn't mean that in a mean way just that I can't handle his fight or flight or internal way of dealing with stress. We have regular exercise and eat pretty well so the benefits of healthy living are essential.
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Feeling "trapped" IMHO, that is not a thing a man should say to his wife. He needs to seek Godly advice and really the only advice he needs is to watch his tongue around his wife and support her and respect her. Yes, he needs his rest, fine, I get that but then, not getting rest is part and parcel to having a baby.
FON, I think he's got something here.
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You can do nothing. Life as we know it will never be perfect. It is up to each individual to make themselves happy, or to be stress free. Maybe you can help him to identify the stresses and what causes his stress, but it is up to him to deal with what are in fact his stresses.
As for my advice? He needs to learn to take things to the cross and leave them there. I know from personal experience that it isn't easy to do. I'd take these things to the cross and lay them down, but when I left I'd pick them right back up and take them with me. I'll tell ya though, the stress is much less when I do leave them there at His feet.
Stamper, I agree 100%!
Learning how to deal with life is a learned process and unfortunately, some genes and responses of his parents have been influential in a negative way by my observation.
This was suppose to be 'our' time. Our kids have been translating at a YWAM camp for nearly 3 weeks and as we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary we originally thought we'd go somewhere for a week to have a '2nd' honeymoon. Maybe we would have flown to the states, IDK, but somehow, he feels immobile again. Seems like my life is such a roller coaster! I told him I wasn't feeling settled. A lot of it is because I feel what he's feeling/thinking even if he doesn't verbalize it. He had a dream we moved back to one of our houses in the states recently. Other than a house, there's NOTHING there in that town. Here he has a job, a church that loves and supports him, he has a ministry and position. I can't understand why he's never content. This makes 2 things happen in my mind. Number one, I want to make a decision for my life as to where I'll live since he can't seem to decide and changes his mind often. or 2, continues to make me feel unstable.
I agree, if he had these issues nailed to the cross, he'd be free from these stresses. I've been working with him for months about contentment. We just moved and sold our house an hour from here so that he could feel content. Actually, it's a 6 month trial. We really weren't suppose to talk about 'it' and just focus 100% on the ministry here, but once he got the money from the house he started looking for ways to invest it and pulled up repo's in our hometown in the states. I think he really wants to go back but has no job there. Here, he has a job and is fulfilling his lifetime 'dream' of being a missionary. It's a hard one for me men. He has position, influence and a 'secure' job. Why does he want to go back? If he could just identify that he misses his family than I could accept that, but our house is in another state almost equally as far from them as to where we live here in Mexico. So I'm not sure that's it. He's really hard to figure out. Was it my fault for having brought it up with, "I wonder what will happen?"
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