loving single life

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hope4Him -> loving single life (8/5/2008 4:01:01 PM)
I have to admit I love being single. I am 37 and have enjoyed being single all these years. Most people have given up and don't even bother asking me about meeting someone or getting married. If God decides I should be married I am not opposed, but right now I love being single!

mutinywxgirl -> RE: loving single life (8/5/2008 4:02:43 PM)
Many of us feel the same way! Welcome to the forums. [:)]

coinpurse -> RE: loving single life (8/5/2008 9:05:15 PM)
Im having a good week and Im not thinking about the hubby desire much. My desire for a husband is strong when Im down in the dumps...has anyone else felt the same way?

Grace-N-Mercy -> RE: loving single life (8/5/2008 9:40:21 PM)
Welcome, rcross. We're near the same age, and I also enjoy singleness... most of the time. quote: ORIGINAL: coinpurse Im having a good week and Im not thinking about the hubby desire much. My desire for a husband is strong when Im down in the dumps...has anyone else felt the same way? I think it's natural to have these desires when we're down... just be careful that you're not wishing for a husband to rescue you from these down feelings. For me, sometimes I wish I just had someone to "be there" with flesh on (because God is always there for us), to listen, or just to provide company so I don't feel so alone.

Onecontent -> RE: loving single life (8/5/2008 9:56:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cute-N-Sassy Welcome, rcross. We're near the same age, and I also enjoy singleness... most of the time. quote: ORIGINAL: coinpurse Im having a good week and Im not thinking about the hubby desire much. My desire for a husband is strong when Im down in the dumps...has anyone else felt the same way? I think it's natural to have these desires when we're down... just be careful that you're not wishing for a husband to rescue you from these down feelings. For me, sometimes I wish I just had someone to "be there" with flesh on (because God is always there for us), to listen, or just to provide company so I don't feel so alone. I agree with you both.

Blazingson -> RE: loving single life (8/5/2008 10:53:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: coinpurse Im having a good week and Im not thinking about the hubby desire much. My desire for a husband is strong when Im down in the dumps...has anyone else felt the same way? I never feel that way. When I'm "down in the dumps", my desire is for a wife instead.

coinpurse -> RE: loving single life (8/5/2008 11:38:22 PM)
OneContent, Im near the same age as well. You know, sometimes I still have the vision of the glass slippers and being "rescued" by my king (prince is for the younger girls:)...I know thats a big fat joke/fairytale...the only King who came for me was Jesus (the only true king)...but you know...the knight in shining armor idea still gives me butterflies! Deep down Im still hoping for it just a little bit. Reminds me of "Fairy Tales", an Anita Baker song: I can remember stories, those things my mother said She told me fairy tales, before I went to bed She spoke of happy endings, then tucked me in real tight She turned my night light on, and kissed my face good night My mind would fill with visions, of perfect paradise She told me everything, she said he'd be so nice He'd ride up on his horse and, take me away one night I'd be so happy with him, we'd ride clean out of sight She never said that we would, curse, cry and scream and lie She never said that maybe, someday he'd say goodbye The story ends, as stories do Reality steps into view No longer living life in paradise - of fairy tales - uh No, uh - huh - mmm - mmm She spoke about happy endings, of stories not like this She said he'd slay all dragons, defeat the evil prince She said he'd come to save me, swim through the stormy seas I'd understand the story, it would be good for me You never came to save me, you let me stand alone Out in the wilderness, alone in the cold My story end, as stories do Reality steps into view No longer living life in paradise - no fairy tales - yes I don't look for pie up in the sky, baby Need reality, now, said I Don't feel the need to be pacified, don't cha try Honey, I know you lied You never came to save me, you let me stand alone Out in the wilderness, alone in the cold I found no magic POTION, no horse with wings to fly I found the poison apple, my destiny to die No royal kiss could save me, no magic spell to spin My fantasy is over, my life must now begin My story end, as stories do Reality steps into view No longer living life in paradise - no fairy tales - eh, hey, hey - eee - mmm, mmm Lord have mercy - ooo ooo - mmm - oh Lord quote: ORIGINAL: Cute-N-Sassy Welcome, rcross. We're near the same age, and I also enjoy singleness... most of the time. quote: ORIGINAL: coinpurse Im having a good week and Im not thinking about the hubby desire much. My desire for a husband is strong when Im down in the dumps...has anyone else felt the same way? I think it's natural to have these desires when we're down... just be careful that you're not wishing for a husband to rescue you from these down feelings. For me, sometimes I wish I just had someone to "be there" with flesh on (because God is always there for us), to listen, or just to provide company so I don't feel so alone.

offtheisland -> RE: loving single life (8/6/2008 6:07:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: coinpurse Im having a good week and Im not thinking about the hubby desire much. My desire for a husband is strong when Im down in the dumps...has anyone else felt the same way? I have felt that way too. Right now, my heart is in Hawaii, but for now, I have seven years until my youngest is eighteen and I can be okay about leaving FL. So, with that being said, I should be focusing on my singlehood, serving in ministry, and caring for my family.

onthewayray -> RE: loving single life (8/8/2008 7:24:52 PM)
I am right there with you all as well. I started something a while back. I am writing letters to my wife. No I am not seeing anyone as of now, But I am writing to her just the same. It's just simple little note a friend told me I should do this and then when I do get married give them to her on our wedding night....

WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: loving single life (8/9/2008 1:31:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blazingson quote: ORIGINAL: coinpurse Im having a good week and Im not thinking about the hubby desire much. My desire for a husband is strong when Im down in the dumps...has anyone else felt the same way? I never feel that way. When I'm "down in the dumps", my desire is for a wife instead. [sm=Llol.gif][sm=Llol.gif][sm=Llol.gif]

ebony101 -> RE: loving single life (8/10/2008 4:16:36 AM)
A few days ago I was talking to someone about "if God has called you to be single". He said that he knew he was not called to be single because he had the desire to be married - he thought that being married was the best thing in the world. When he met his wife he was 101% sure that he wanted to marry her & he's been married now for 15+ years. I liked the fact that he knew that God called him to be married vs. single - because he had this desire for a wife. It makes me wonder now that if a person has this desire maybe God is calling that person to the vocation of marriage. Please don't tear me apart on this. This is just some thoughts that I've been having ever since I spoke to him. He came and spoke to me out of the blue just like that. I was at a party and I was sitting by myself not really mingling with anyone, when he came up and started talking to me. I'm wondering if God directed him to speak to me as a way of telling me to hang in there, he's working on it [:D].

ShallbeRebuilt -> RE: loving single life (8/10/2008 8:19:06 AM)
I used to believe that God gives us the desires of our hearts, and then He fulfils those desires. Why, after all, it's what I've been taught all my life! But my best girlfriend has the desire to be a mother; a physical mother of her own baby. Since she has that desire, does it mean she's called to be a mother? She's 48 and it has never happened...not likely it ever will. We can argue about whether it's right or wrong for one person or the other to desire to be married. But wanting a child when you are in a secure, happy marriage? What could possibly be wrong with that? God has not and apparently will not answer this desire of her heart. The desire has not to this day gone away. Now, we could argue whether she's refused the options that God has offered her: she has chosen not to adopt, and when the fertility procedures finally got to the "heroic measures" stage, she and her husband chose to stop. But her desire was very specific: she wants a baby of her own flesh and blood. What am I to do with that fact? Here is this teaching about God giving us our desires and then fulfilling them--and yet a fact staring me in the face that is disproves it. Not trying to discourage anybody, but just wanted to point out that there may be something wrong with the belief that God gives us our desires and then fulfills them. shallbe

rgod -> RE: loving single life (8/10/2008 8:57:37 AM)
quote: ShallbeRebuilt wrote: What am I to do with that fact? Here is this teaching about God giving us our desires and then fulfilling them--and yet a fact staring me in the face that is disproves it. Not trying to discourage anybody, but just wanted to point out that there may be something wrong with the belief that God gives us our desires and then fulfills them. You can have desires that God leaves unfulfilled. It could be marriage, a child, being healed of some affliction or sickness, or something else. I think that the verse in Psalms about God granting you the desires of your heart is more about our desires matching His. As we delight ourselves in the Lord, His desires become our desires. So while we may want to be married, or healed, or have a child - the overriding desire over time becomes pleasing Christ and living out His purposes for our lives. But this can be so hard to accept! I know because for many years I was angry and bitter with the Lord about why He kept me alone for so long. One of the things I had to really learn is that God is sovereign. It never occured to me that the answer to my prayer might be "no." We also tend to think that if God loves us He will grant us what we think is best which is the desire of our hearts. The desire might not be wrong - after all, what is wrong with a married couple wanting a child? What is wrong with wanting to be married? Nothing is wrong with any of those things. But God can love us and still say "no" to us. There is a grieving that takes place when God says no - I'm sure your friend is/has been grieving that and my heart goes out to she and her husband - I kind of tear up just thinking about what they must have gone through. At the same time, the temptation is to think that God doesn't love us when He says no. But this is not true. God loves us so much even when He says no to us - even when we don't understand why. Of course we stand in faith and believe God and petition Him. But we also know that He can say no because He sees the entire picture and plan and we do not.

ShallbeRebuilt -> RE: loving single life (8/10/2008 9:31:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rgod quote: ShallbeRebuilt wrote: What am I to do with that fact? Here is this teaching about God giving us our desires and then fulfilling them--and yet a fact staring me in the face that is disproves it. Not trying to discourage anybody, but just wanted to point out that there may be something wrong with the belief that God gives us our desires and then fulfills them. You can have desires that God leaves unfulfilled. It could be marriage, a child, being healed of some affliction or sickness, or something else. I think that the verse in Psalms about God granting you the desires of your heart is more about our desires matching His. As we delight ourselves in the Lord, His desires become our desires. So while we may want to be married, or healed, or have a child - the overriding desire over time becomes pleasing Christ and living out His purposes for our lives. But this can be so hard to accept! I know because for many years I was angry and bitter with the Lord about why He kept me alone for so long. One of the things I had to really learn is that God is sovereign. It never occured to me that the answer to my prayer might be "no." We also tend to think that if God loves us He will grant us what we think is best which is the desire of our hearts. The desire might not be wrong - after all, what is wrong with a married couple wanting a child? What is wrong with wanting to be married? Nothing is wrong with any of those things. But God can love us and still say "no" to us. There is a grieving that takes place when God says no - I'm sure your friend is/has been grieving that and my heart goes out to she and her husband - I kind of tear up just thinking about what they must have gone through. At the same time, the temptation is to think that God doesn't love us when He says no. But this is not true. God loves us so much even when He says no to us - even when we don't understand why. Of course we stand in faith and believe God and petition Him. But we also know that He can say no because He sees the entire picture and plan and we do not. rgod, as usual I find myself in agreement with you. My goal was to point out this exact thing so that others may have food for thought concerning their own beliefs about this teaching. It's quite prevalent and tends to allow us to put our hopes on the desire that we have rather than the God of hope. Ebony101: God does want you to hang in there. You can be assured that He is working. Put your faith and your hope in Him. Whether He is working specifially on fulfilling your desire to be married is something that can be left completely up to Him. He is trustworthy. shallbe shallbe

CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: loving single life (8/10/2008 9:45:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShallbeRebuilt I used to believe that God gives us the desires of our hearts, and then He fulfils those desires. Why, after all, it's what I've been taught all my life! But my best girlfriend has the desire to be a mother; a physical mother of her own baby. Since she has that desire, does it mean she's called to be a mother? She's 48 and it has never happened...not likely it ever will. We can argue about whether it's right or wrong for one person or the other to desire to be married. But wanting a child when you are in a secure, happy marriage? What could possibly be wrong with that? God has not and apparently will not answer this desire of her heart. The desire has not to this day gone away. Now, we could argue whether she's refused the options that God has offered her: she has chosen not to adopt, and when the fertility procedures finally got to the "heroic measures" stage, she and her husband chose to stop. But her desire was very specific: she wants a baby of her own flesh and blood. What am I to do with that fact? Here is this teaching about God giving us our desires and then fulfilling them--and yet a fact staring me in the face that is disproves it. Not trying to discourage anybody, but just wanted to point out that there may be something wrong with the belief that God gives us our desires and then fulfills them. shallbe Perfect example and timely post, Shallbe. It is very important to hold our interpretation of what a verse or passage means up to real life. There have been many things I thought I knew that were shaken up by actual experience. There are many good, godly people who have good and godly desires that are not fulfilled. To hold onto a misguided interpretation of that verse is to allow guilt and doubt to begin to plague us. We must assume that there is fault within us, we're not good enough or don't have enough faith, and that's why our desires are not fulfilled. That is a lie from the pit! The other result is bitterness. As long as we are under a wrong assumption we will eventually fall into bitterness as years and years pass without this 'promise' being fulfilled. And rgod brings up an important point. Grieving is necessary in these situations. There are things that God will say "no" to that will never make sense to us this side of the grave. If we do not grieve, we never come to the place where we can accept a "no" from God.

WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: loving single life (8/10/2008 11:28:37 AM)
Wow, Esther, rgod and Lioness! Great posts. Our desires do not always equals God's Will; no matter how we might want them to do so. And the opposite of that is just because something might be God's Will for a person doesn't mean that He will give them the desire for it; nor does it mean that whatever the something is, it will be easy. A person might eventually develop a desire for it, but it may not necessarily be an automatic, inborn thing in them. Our Lord's Peace surpasses any desire or lack of desire we could ever have for something. That's what I look for in any situation . . . after praying for His Wisdom and His Guidance, I then look for His Peace; and it's His Peace that I try to follow; not where or where not my desires may lead me.

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