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TorchHeart -> Please continue to pray for me (8/4/2008 12:33:15 PM)
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Its been over a month since I hurt one of my best friends very badly. She's barely talking to me, anymore, and I'm worried that I've damaged this friendship beyond any repair. We haven't seen each other in a very long time, and she was going to be coming up to visit in September. I've been looking forward to this, but my big mouth and a stupid act on my part have damaged things between us. I am reaching the end of my rope, and its breaking my heart that all this has happened. I know she has someone new in her life, which is good, but I've said a number of things to her about him that I shouldn't have. I hope I'm wrong about him, for her sake, but it still wasn't my place. For that, on top of the things I've already done, I fear that I've done irrepairable damage. And God, believe me... I am sorry. Please God. I know that I am a terrible person. I'm insecure, jealous, and full of anger and hate over the past. You know that I still carry resentment towards the Baptists over what happened years ago, and I realize that this might be clouding my judgement. But I do care a lot about Lara. She means a lot to me, and I don't want to see her pull away from me like this. You helped to bring her back into my life to repair the damage of the past. Please don't let things end like this between us. You know how I feel about her, God, and how it hurts me that I've done this to her. You know my prayers and my fears about this matter. Please answer them, and please have mercy on me and forgive me for what I have done here. I'm sure it will take a lot because of all I have done, and all that is involved with this. Help repair what I did. Soften her heart towards me, again, Lord. Help me to rebuild this friendship and regain her trust. And, God, above all else, help her to be happy. After the life she's had, she deserves so much more. She is truly one of your finest followers. Bless her to the fullest, no matter what happens between her and I in the end. Lord, I am not even worthy to ask this of you. I am horrible for all I have done. I don't even deserve to be in your presence. But I still ask this of you, humbly, in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, our Eternal Savior, the one true Son of God. Amen.
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