PG-13 movies and small kids (Full Version)

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psaulm119 -> PG-13 movies and small kids (8/3/2008 11:50:50 PM)

My wife and I have just entered the realization that we don't want our soon-to-be-4 y/o watching pg-13 movies with us anymore. The language is just too horrific. Now a few years back, we cut out R movies and found that much of the gore, bad language, and lewdness was gone, but of course now she is of the age where she knows what tv characters are saying, and we are having to stop too many pg-13 movies--even comedies, for crying out loud.

We were talking about this, and I opined that I really didn't want to send her to her room while we watch pg-13s by ourselves, b/c the message there is, "Bad is ok, as long as you're older." Or at least, that's how I would interpret it, and I never bought into the "do as I say, not as I do" approach.

On the other hand, most of teh action/suspense that we see are in fact, pg-13, and to move to just the G and pg would be to cut out an awful lot.

How do you folks handle the issue of movies in the home? I'm not talking about cable, but only dvds that we rent--we don't get cable.



Szaftoo -> RE: PG-13 movies and small kids (8/4/2008 9:56:33 AM)

It's tough to watch movies or TV with kids because you never know what they will be exposed to. We tried very hard to restrict what we watched and never said it was OK for us but not for them. We didn't want them to think areas of compromise come with adulthood.
Sometimes if we watched a movie and something objectionable came on, we would turn it off and explain to our kids our reasons why. It's tough but you do what you feel is right for your own kids.



zoebob -> RE: PG-13 movies and small kids (8/4/2008 10:35:43 AM)

Well, I wouldn't let my kids watch those kinds of movies as a baby. Why don't you just wait until she goes to bed to watch those movies if you want to watch them. There are some things that are OK as an adult but child's sensitivities don't need to be exposed to.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: PG-13 movies and small kids (8/4/2008 10:37:09 AM)

quote:

We were talking about this, and I opined that I really didn't want to send her to her room while we watch pg-13s by ourselves, b/c the message there is, "Bad is ok, as long as you're older." Or at least, that's how I would interpret it, and I never bought into the "do as I say, not as I do" approach.

I don't think that is the message, unless that's really what you are saying to her. I think it's about appropriateness of age and situations...being able to understand the content of a movie when you are older. There are a lot of things that will come up with age that just comes down to appropriateness of the situation (and that usually comes with age). (for instance, cooking...you wouldn't let your 4yo cook dinner, but by maybe 10 she will have matured to where it would be appropriate for her to acquire certain culinary skills)

quote:

How do you folks handle the issue of movies in the home?

we have our movies/dvd's labeled with color coded labels so that our kids know at a glance if it's appropriate for them or not. We watch things not for their age (because of the situations in it, or the intensity of it, or the content of it) when the kids are in bed....and those very rarely. Most of what we have are kids or family movies



stampinlady -> RE: PG-13 movies and small kids (8/4/2008 4:26:40 PM)

quote:

I think it's about appropriateness of age and situations...being able to understand the content of a movie when you are older.


This is how we've always( well for the most part) dealt with this. Get a babysitter or don't go.



macokjc -> RE: PG-13 movies and small kids (8/4/2008 7:48:36 PM)

We only watch non-kid movies when the kids are in bed. Even PG movies have quite a bit of questionable content. The other thing we did was to buy a TV guardian - that way all swear words and references to sex are taken out.



Karaboo2 -> RE: PG-13 movies and small kids (8/4/2008 8:12:08 PM)

What blows my mind is how much the rating system has changed over the years ... for example, the movie Rainman was rated 'R' when it was first released ... it is now rated PG.

I like Sarah's idea of colour coding the movies ... if it has a green sticker, the kids are welcome to watch it. Yellow, they need a parent there to discuss any issues that arise (like a grandparent dying or something else which could be a trigger for some kids), red is a no-go for the kids.



Consecrated2God -> RE: PG-13 movies and small kids (8/4/2008 8:20:01 PM)

We just don't watch PG-13 movies, at least for the most part. There are a few exceptions, such as "The Lord of the Rings".

quote:

We were talking about this, and I opined that I really didn't want to send her to her room while we watch pg-13s by ourselves, b/c the message there is, "Bad is ok, as long as you're older." Or at least, that's how I would interpret it, and I never bought into the "do as I say, not as I do" approach.


I agree with your stance on this. I've always felt that way as well.



SteveSund -> RE: PG-13 movies and small kids (8/4/2008 9:31:13 PM)

quote:

"Bad is ok, as long as you're older." Or at least, that's how I would interpret it, and I never bought into the "do as I say, not as I do" approach.


I don't think it has to be presented at being bad unless you are older. Some things are just not appropriate for kids until they reach a certain age or develop emotional maturity. We don't allow our 5 year old to drive, stay home by herself, get a credit card, or shoot a gun (unsupervised). I don't consider any of these activities bad, just inappropriate for a child of that age.



psaulm119 -> RE: PG-13 movies and small kids (8/5/2008 12:08:27 AM)

I do appreciate the responses here--all of them--good food for thought.

I'm not sure I agree with the two responses about "age-appropriateness"--all of those examples are things she would not ask to do, but she loves to watch movies (yes I know they were extreme examples exagerrating for a reason). I'm gonna work out a response and then post back.

Lemme think out loud for a bit.

Maybe I do see the example of age-appropriateness (ok I don't let her walk in the street w/o holding an adult's hand--and she even verbalizes the reason why--she knows)... but still the idea is very strong in my mind that what I do will have a stronger impression than what I say, so again I'm not sure she'll pick up the idea that is ok for us but not for her....

One issue I have is that part of my objection is that god-abusing language is not ok for anyone. And so I really hate to say this but I'm not sure a lot of the pg-13 is ok for adults either. Of course that is beyond the scope of this thread.

If anyone has any more thoughts feel free.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: PG-13 movies and small kids (8/5/2008 1:44:06 AM)

quote:

I like Sarah's idea of colour coding the movies ... if it has a green sticker, the kids are welcome to watch it. Yellow, they need a parent there to discuss any issues that arise (like a grandparent dying or something else which could be a trigger for some kids), red is a no-go for the kids.

yeah we started that when our oldest was 2yo or so and my niece and nephew would "babysit" for us...it was easiest for us to say to them that they could watch anything of certain colors...and it kind of stuck.

quote:

One issue I have is that part of my objection is that god-abusing language is not ok for anyone. And so I really hate to say this but I'm not sure a lot of the pg-13 is ok for adults either. Of course that is beyond the scope of this thread.

if you are having an issue and are being convicted about not watching things or certain movies, then definitely follow it!!!! However, I don't think that really has anything to do with appropriateness of a kid or not. Every family has to set their own "rules" though of what they will and will not allow. For instance...there are a few things that it doesn't matter what the "rating" is on it, we won't allow it....anything with witchcraft of any kind. How many Disney movies rated G are out there with NO magic in them!!!! We don't allow them though. The few we have allowed and have bought, we keep a tight reign on how often they are watched (once or twice a year is fine....any more and we will get rid of it because we start seeing changes in the dynamics in our house after that). Anything with violence we also keep a tight reign on.....but then we ease up with things like John Wayne old classics.

We came to this decision because of our kids personalities and their sensitivities, and over the years we just found that this is what was best for our family.

So....just let God lead you where He wants your convictions to be for your family.



zmanfan38 -> RE: PG-13 movies and small kids (8/5/2008 1:54:07 AM)

Our little girl is 3 and there are some G rated movies that we won't let her watch. She has a very soft heart and some of the sad (usually a parent dies...why do they always do that?[:@]) parts get to her too bad.

We don't let her watch movies that we haven't already seen unless it's something that we've been told about by friends (still talking G rated stuff here).

We just don't want problems with her not being able to sleep at night because she remembered something scary in a movie...not worth it.



Consecrated2God -> RE: PG-13 movies and small kids (8/5/2008 8:24:46 AM)

quote:

And so I really hate to say this but I'm not sure a lot of the pg-13 is ok for adults either. Of course that is beyond the scope of this thread.


I agree with you. I think filling our minds with junk like that affects us more than we are often willing to admit. I read a book called "Blessed Child" by Ted Dekker, about a boy who was raised in a monastery and perfect faith, and it wasn't until he started watching TV that his faith became compromised. It really made me stop and think. We need to be careful not to defile God's temple.



kernsfamily -> RE: PG-13 movies and small kids (8/5/2008 9:03:37 AM)

We have 3 young kids (oldest is 10).....we simply have a "mom & dad" movie night after the kids are in bed....

Whether it's rated R or PG-13, I do not go by rating alone....as the rating system is horribly arbitrary. CONTEXT is most important.
For example, you can have 3 movies that are "Rated R"......but, WHY are they rated as such?
Extreme language on one....ok, that's out......
Extreme "senseless" violence (slasher movie)...ok, that's out.
War violence, which would possibly include some "bad language" (Platoon, Saving Private Ryan, Passion of the Christ etc...etc..)....ARE different. In CONTEXT, while it is "Rated R", for ADULT viewing, they are not "BAD" movies....

With regards to the kids, there's PLENTY of REALLY good stuff out there for them, too. (I can sit there at watch "Akeelah & the Bee" ALL day long!).....
BUT, If it's a movie we're not too familiar with, then we'll watch it first, and then decide. (that's what we did with Akeelah, for instance.....we didn't know what to expect...but, come to find out, it was a spectacular movie for the kids)....

We're not the "movie collecting"-type.....we have a MOUNTAIN of kids movies on DVD/video, but only a small handful of them for us (we just rent and that's it)......except for our ABSOLUTE favorites, like "A river runs through it".....



twoboys -> RE: PG-13 movies and small kids (8/5/2008 10:36:54 AM)

For us it depends on the movie. My boys are totally into super-heros and anything adventurous like that. If it's a good family flick then they get to watch. If there is a questionable scene we fast forward.



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