How important is it that he respects you? (Full Version)

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Covaan_Meshuga -> How important is it that he respects you? (8/3/2008 1:47:31 AM)

The Bible clearly says that we women are to respect our husbands, and it says nothing about them respecting us. In my opinion, it would be very, very difficult to fully love someone without first respecting them -- child, husband, boyfriend, friend, neighbor, etc.

But I still wonder regarding husbands/close male friends: how important to you is it that he respects you?

Have you ever had a close relationship with a husbands/close male friends in which you were not respected? How did that work out?
_____________________________________

I'll admit up front that I expect respect, but I also expect that I must continue to earn it.



saraimay75 -> RE: How important is it that he respects you? (8/3/2008 2:12:18 AM)

In Ephesians 5:25 It says Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her.

In 5:28-29 it says In the same way husband ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. He who love his wife loves himself. After all no one ever hated his own body , but he he feeds and care for it just as Christ does the church.

This to sums up how a husband should respect his wife.



Mrs.Above_All -> RE: How important is it that he respects you? (8/3/2008 4:43:47 AM)

That's true Sarah...but the OP is asking about husbands respecting their wives. It very much goes the same for us women. It's just worded differently in that men should have good regard towards their wives. It depends on the translation but it's meaning is deep in that even though the woman is the helpmate, he is to be understanding and considerate of her. Just think about those husbands out there who believe that "women have their place." That is complete disregard of her worth.

So yeah, respect is a two-way thing indeed.



Kerryannism -> RE: How important is it that he respects you? (8/3/2008 11:00:46 AM)

I believe you cannot have love without respect. You cannot respect without trust. Loss of trust results in loss of respect. ALL beings should respect one another, especially those in close relationships such as husband and wives. Men who feel "women have there place" are out there and probably ALONE :-)

I also feel when people are treated disrespectfully by their partners such has being called names or told lies - hastens the process of loss of trust, then respect, then love, thus the relationship. People do not forget or forgive personal insults on this level very easily (for someone so close to them).



twoboys -> RE: How important is it that he respects you? (8/4/2008 1:55:28 PM)

I think it's VERY important that my hubby respects me and there are moments when I feel like he doesn't and it makes me crabby. :)

Think it's also important for self-esteem.



HisCovenant -> RE: How important is it that he respects you? (8/4/2008 3:17:02 PM)

I have several answers:

1. No: I don't expect dh to respect me as we are commanded to respect them in the Bible. The word we translate as respect would be better translated as fear, reverence, or submission, if our sinful natures wouldn't take that to mean a stance of cowering. The Bible uses the word for respect or fear to mean that you are under authority and should act with proper reverence for the position over you. Biblically, respect is not used the same way modern Americans use the word.

2. Yes: I expect dh to respect my role under him. I do not expect this because I have a right to expect it, Biblically speaking. I expect it because my dh is a Christian man with wisdom who values what God says. Dh has a track record of valuing what God says is valuable and that's where my expectation originates. I am very proud to be a part of the free world and to live in a nation that values others regardless of race, gender, or religion and that believes in God-given rights. I do love that. However, those "God-given rights" only work if everyone is following God's way and in our imperfect world it is a bit naive to expect them seeing that the "way is narrow."

3. Yes: Although I fail often, I expect dh to recognize that I am of good character and am working with him to better our lives. So I expect respect in the modern American usage of the word. I am working to be full of integrity and I expect dh to recognize that and give me the due I have earned. [;)] Fortunately, dh is a gracious christian who respect me even when I fail... choosing to see my potential and help me along instead of giving me what I deserve.



smilingcutie -> RE: How important is it that he respects you? (8/7/2008 12:52:25 AM)

Yes, respect is important in every relationship. If there is no respect, how is there any foundation for a true relationship?



LoyalFriend -> RE: How important is it that he respects you? (8/7/2008 8:07:14 PM)

Respect and being respected is very important to me.



Covaan_Meshuga -> RE: How important is it that he respects you? (8/7/2008 8:40:40 PM)

Thank you to all who have answered. I, too, cannot separate respect from any kind of deep love. Of course, there is love one has for another human being who is a neighbor, a stranger, the hungry, etc. One may love them in that you help them, wish them well and not ill, etc., but there may not be any real respect.

I think that respect precedes love.



Roelie -> RE: How important is it that he respects you? (8/7/2008 10:31:39 PM)

To be respected in a relationship is very important to me as well.



bluved -> RE: How important is it that he respects you? (8/13/2008 4:23:02 PM)

breaks my heart that my husband does not show me respect. It does cause me to wonder if he is sincere in his commitment to me. He treats me like an empty headed pupet and will not allow me to even have my own opinions. It feels like I'm not valued for the individual I am. I don't know who I am anymore. I try to remember who I am in Christ and that my self esteem should come from God. But, it hurts. I often feel objectified. This feeling tends to cause sensitivity and defensiveness in me which I loathe. I'd say respect is very important.



Covaan_Meshuga -> RE: How important is it that he respects you? (8/13/2008 4:37:57 PM)

Bluved, I am so sorry. What can I say? I will pray.

G-d knows all about it; He has seen it all and heard it all. When we hurt, He hurts. This might not sound like much when you are in the "trenches," but the point is that He knows and understands. You can lean into Him. Let Him hold you up.



bluestone -> RE: How important is it that he respects you? (8/13/2008 4:39:45 PM)

Respect is a deal breaker.



3tulips -> RE: How important is it that he respects you? (8/13/2008 4:47:33 PM)

I was just writing about this in another thread!

My DH is great except for this one area: he doesn't respect me when it comes to his mom. His mom is over-bearing and loud and he deals with it by letting her have her way. Therefore, when she wants to come visit she announces that she is coming and has never, in 25 years of marriage, ASKED if she could come. [:@]

At our last anniversary I simply told him I could no longer put up with this. It is disrespectful to me to TELL me that she is coming and I will need to cook and clean and he cannot do anything with the family because he needs to drive her around while she is here. I just want to be asked!! It is my home too!



IzzeT -> RE: How important is it that he respects you? (8/14/2008 11:54:51 AM)

This is how my husband and I run our marriage I respect him no matter what and we follow the bible for our relationship as the verses below state.

We have a wonderful marriage because of it.

Izze


quote:

ORIGINAL: saraimay75

In Ephesians 5:25 It says Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her.

In 5:28-29 it says In the same way husband ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. He who love his wife loves himself. After all no one ever hated his own body , but he he feeds and care for it just as Christ does the church.

This to sums up how a husband should respect his wife.

quote:

In Ephesians 5:25 It says Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her.

In 5:28-29 it says In the same way husband ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. He who love his wife loves himself. After all no one ever hated his own body , but he he feeds and care for it just as Christ does the church.

This to sums up how a husband should respect his wife.



doinkdom -> RE: How important is it that he respects you? (8/14/2008 3:42:01 PM)

My husband respects me and my opinions. And I truly appreciate that. I didn't have to earn it, beg for it or anything - he just does.

There are also many times when my sinful emphasis or demand for respect have been met with love and grace, when I so did not deserve it.

Respect is important, but I find that the importance level for receiving it is about a 7 for me and about a 10 for my husband. It's just more important to him. Not that it's unimportant to me, if that makes any sense at all.

I tend to care more about being a woman of integrity and honor, without using the term "respect."



Covaan_Meshuga -> RE: How important is it that he respects you? (8/14/2008 7:22:16 PM)

We moms-in-law have the ability to be such a royal pain-in-the-neck to our children-in-law. I think we are sometimes completely clueless how much happier even our own lives would be if we would just respect the people they are -- love them, care, and just be quiet. My own mother taught me one side of this; my wonderful mothers-in-law taught me another. I want to be like my wonderful mothers-in-law to my children-in-law. G-d help me.



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