Is this normal? (Full Version)

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beachcooky -> Is this normal? (8/1/2008 6:06:22 PM)

Is it normal to feel like you're not going to get married?
I want to so bad...and I know that scripture that says: "If you delight in the Lord, he will give you the desires of your heart." But is it according to your will. If I seriously sit down and think about it, I cry. I want to get married--I want to share a lifetime with a man that loves God with his whole heart.

So, what I'm asking is this: Is it normal to feel like this?



manda59 -> RE: Is this normal? (8/1/2008 6:15:37 PM)

It could be because of your issues that you feel like this (ie worrying that you won't get married)

Btw, if God was calling you to be single, I doubt very much whether you'd want to be married as much as you do.



preserved -> RE: Is this normal? (8/1/2008 6:36:27 PM)

Yes, it is normal...we also have to align ourselves in the Will of God in order to receive who he has in store for us...one has to prepare themselves to received the mate God has in store on His time...

Your prayer as well has to be in line with God...Often time we are praying for what we want but then when men comes before you...wefind fault with the men. We also can not ask God for someone and yet we be the opposite of what we are asking for...



MWD -> RE: Is this normal? (8/1/2008 7:34:07 PM)

> I want to share a lifetime with a man that loves God
> with his whole heart.

If you want that bad enough, and can see yourself having it, and have true undoubting faith for it, then ask for it, and you will have it. This is the immutable law of faith. It just might not happen on your timetable. But don't sweat that. Remember: seedtime, and harvest.

Seed... TIME... TIME... TIME... TIME... and finally harvest.

Another thing to remember is that God has to line up thousands of things to get everything to work right for all the players. You want things to work out for you, but things have to work out for other people, too, like the guy who's eventually going to ask you to marry him, and the people in the world in which he's moving right now. That takes (again) time.

You are young. Live your life and don't over-exert yourself in this matter. The man will show up -- probably when you least expect it, and probably much later than you expected it, and probably under conditions you'd never have expected. But it'll have been worth the wait.

[EDIT: Fix misleading grammar 1st paragraph. MWD.]



beachcooky -> RE: Is this normal? (8/1/2008 10:43:32 PM)

I really do hope so. I've made sooo many mistakes with guys in the past. And it wasn't until just recently, I made a commitment to wait until God tells me to date. And I have doubts that He won't. I mean, I know God has the power to provide me a husband...but I don't know what His will is. I don't even know HOW to find His will for my life. Someone told me to pray about it. And I hate praying for myself. I just feel selfish doing it.



slimon11 -> RE: Is this normal? (8/1/2008 11:33:50 PM)

Beachcooky, I think it is very normal. I am a female in my late 20s and, every single person my age that I know, has their mind of marriage. You are cute and from the posts I've read, wise and kind too. I am sure when the time is right, the right man will just appear in your in your life. I will pray for you.



slimon11 -> RE: Is this normal? (8/2/2008 12:07:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: beachcooky

I don't even know HOW to find His will for my life.


Just a thought: IMHO, I think we can do His will by simply using our experiences (good and bad) to help others going through the same thing. Of course, also remembering to continue to worship, learn and stay in the Word. From the posts I've read, you seem to be good at comforting and encouraging. Maybe you have a knack for ministering to captives and the brokenhearted. Have you ever thought to study to be a Christian counselor or something along those lines?



DreadPirateRandy -> RE: Is this normal? (8/2/2008 12:35:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: beachcooky

Is it normal to feel like you're not going to get married?


I have felt that way, though I couldn't imagine a life without being married. When I was single, it felt hopeless finding a significant other. I prayed and prayed for almost two years before it happened.

I believe if you have a sincere desire in your heart, and you present it before His thrown, that He will meet those desires in one way or another.



MWD -> RE: Is this normal? (8/2/2008 9:11:14 AM)

> I've made sooo many mistakes with guys in the past.

LOL! Who hasn't made lots of mistakes with the opposite sex? I've got awards for those hanging in my living room, but I look at them not as failures but rather as lessons learned -- representing things I'll never do again because now I know better. I'll bet you feel the same way about your mistakes. You'll never make the same ones again, right? Thought so. So... aren't those mistakes a strong positive, rather than a negative?

> And it wasn't until just recently, I made a commitment to
> wait until God tells me to date. And I have doubts that He
> won't.

I'd be real careful with this. You're not going to hear A Big Voice and get some whack upside the head that tells you to do something. No. You have to have faith that you will someday be married to the right man, believe it will come to pass, have ZERO doubt about it, and speak the words about it so you can hear yourself say them. What that does, basically, is to give one or more angels a "job ticket" (manufacturing terminology there) to cause that to eventually come to pass. You have to call, verbally, out loud, for the thing you do not have, believe it beyond a shadow of a doubt, and then wait patiently for it to occur.

> I mean, I know God has the power to provide me a husband...

No no no! YOU have the power to provide yourself a husband, through the exercise of your faith, which puts things in motion in the spirit world. YOU are the decider, YOU are the initiator. Your faith is the seed, which makes a demand on the soil (the spirit world, angels, etc.), and the soil MUST subsequently produce the crop that reflects the seed you've sown. This is the law of faith. I am not trying to say God has no part in it, but I AM trying to pull you away from passivity/resignation -- this "waiting for something to be initiated FOR you."

> but I don't know what His will is. I don't even know
> HOW to find His will for my life.

Simple. His will is for you to live your life well and try to imitate Jesus while you're at it. Also, by the way, you are supposed to enjoy your life, too, and have fun. At least that's what I get out of "have life more-abundantly."

> Someone told me to pray about it. And I hate praying
> for myself. I just feel selfish doing it.

Yeah, well the first step is to make sure you're not praying for something that's already obtainable (and therefore something you already have, since the Holy Spirit in you exists outside of time) from the provision that already exists, though your own calling it into existence through your own words, bringing into being things that are seen from things that are unseen, or creating reality from "things that are naught," however you want to phrase it. It is your own words to yourself that will do it, that will cause millions of gears in the spirit world to engage, that will cause you to be in the right place at the right time to meet the right men who will see something irresistible in you and respond to it.



mrsrevbob -> RE: Is this normal? (8/2/2008 10:12:55 AM)

quote:

Is it normal to feel like you're not going to get married?
I want to so bad...and I know that scripture that says: "If you delight in the Lord, he will give you the desires of your heart." But is it according to your will. If I seriously sit down and think about it, I cry. I want to get married--I want to share a lifetime with a man that loves God with his whole heart.

So, what I'm asking is this: Is it normal to feel like this?

Yes, dear it is. But do not dwell on it, because you need to be fully alert when God delivers. You know Satan can also attempt a delivery through the world. The main thing I would caution you on is tat you need someone who will compliment and support you, someone who is adequate for a really long journey. When I was your age I had no idea that I would be on a forty plus year journey with this funny guy who could not keep from losing his keys and was not real great at matching stuff like belts, ties and shoes.
I wouldn't rush, as when Mr. Right comes, he will not come with directions on the box, and there will be a lot of patience and prayer required.



mrsrevbob -> RE: Is this normal? (8/2/2008 10:23:46 AM)

beach, where do you live, dear? do you go to college? Have you gone to any christian concerts? events? Are you friends with any christian couples who may have friends in the same situation? My grandson went to the holy land over christmas and met someone, but I do not know if it was the "one" yet, however I will say that I mentioned the Holy land because that is really far from where we live, and you just never know when God will answer that prayer. Just remember God answers all prayers in HIS time. Being human, I thing the biggest problem we have is the fact that our time frame is so small compared to his own master plan, so its pretty normal to get impatient in the process.



MWD -> RE: Is this normal? (8/2/2008 1:18:38 PM)

> creating reality from "things that are naught," however
> you want to phrase it.

I wanted to add the correct quote, from 1 Cor 1:27-28.

"But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are."

In your case, the things that are not are 1) decent, loving male companionship eventually leading to 2) marriage and 3) fulfillment of what you desire and call for. The things that are are 1) singleness where there is no desire to be single, and 2) the emotional emptiness because of it.

The "things that are not" means, to the best of my knowledge, the things that are not yet manifest but which already exist outside of time and outside of our (limited) five senses.



beachcooky -> RE: Is this normal? (8/2/2008 1:50:18 PM)

quote:



I'd be real careful with this. You're not going to hear A Big Voice and get some whack upside the head that tells you to do something. No. You have to have faith that you will someday be married to the right man, believe it will come to pass, have ZERO doubt about it, and speak the words about it so you can hear yourself say them. What that does, basically, is to give one or more angels a "job ticket" (manufacturing terminology there) to cause that to eventually come to pass. You have to call, verbally, out loud, for the thing you do not have, believe it beyond a shadow of a doubt, and then wait patiently for it to occur.


No, I know i'm not going to hear a big voice.
But I do have doubts, but I know I can overcome them.
It will take time, but I know I will overcome these doubts.



HappilyMarried -> RE: Is this normal? (8/2/2008 9:07:09 PM)

If there is something you REALLY want, I think it is normal to be worried that it might not happen.

If you really want to be married, I don't think that God is calling you to be single. I believe most people who are called to be single don't have a strong desire to be married.



georgerobbyjr -> RE: Is this normal? (8/2/2008 11:52:17 PM)

quote:

If you really want to be married, I don't think that God is calling you to be single. I believe most people who are called to be single don't have a strong desire to be married.


I agree with this. You know that God wants to give his believers their hearts' desires. Why then do you doubt? For heaven sake, you are only 19, are you not?! If you pray for a man who loves God, why wouldn't God answer your prayer? You should pray and wait patiently. Given your age (not to discourage you), you may not find the right man for several years. Keep praying and wait on God.

James 1:5-6 "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."

This passage is a good example of someone who had faith but struggled with a little doubt. You probably don't really doubt and are just a little discouraged at the moment. Have faith and be patient! Mark 9:23-25 "'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes." Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"



beachcooky -> RE: Is this normal? (8/3/2008 1:13:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: georgerobbyjr

quote:

If you really want to be married, I don't think that God is calling you to be single. I believe most people who are called to be single don't have a strong desire to be married.


I agree with this. You know that God wants to give his believers their hearts' desires. Why then do you doubt? For heaven sake, you are only 19, are you not?! If you pray for a man who loves God, why wouldn't God answer your prayer? You should pray and wait patiently. Given your age (not to discourage you), you may not find the right man for several years. Keep praying and wait on God.

James 1:5-6 "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."

This passage is a good example of someone who had faith but struggled with a little doubt. You probably don't really doubt and are just a little discouraged at the moment. Have faith and be patient! Mark 9:23-25 "'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes." Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"


Thanks for the scriptures!



Chantelle913 -> RE: Is this normal? (8/3/2008 2:50:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: beachcooky

Is it normal to feel like you're not going to get married?
I want to so bad...and I know that scripture that says: "If you delight in the Lord, he will give you the desires of your heart." But is it according to your will. If I seriously sit down and think about it, I cry. I want to get married--I want to share a lifetime with a man that loves God with his whole heart.

So, what I'm asking is this: Is it normal to feel like this?



I feel the same way and thats so strange that we worry ourselves. I agreew ith someone that posted in the begining that if we asked God He shall give. God knows that marriage is on our heart and I am sure it will happen sooner or later. Beachcooky I have been reading alot of your post and we have so much in common. Esp from this thread. I read also what you said about having a bestfriend [:@]. You seem like a sweet person and soon your blessing will come down. Just give God the glory and the best is yet to come [:D]



beachcooky -> RE: Is this normal? (8/3/2008 4:04:34 PM)

quote:

I feel the same way and thats so strange that we worry ourselves. I agreew ith someone that posted in the begining that if we asked God He shall give. God knows that marriage is on our heart and I am sure it will happen sooner or later. Beachcooky I have been reading alot of your post and we have so much in common. Esp from this thread. I read also what you said about having a bestfriend . You seem like a sweet person and soon your blessing will come down. Just give God the glory and the best is yet to come


Aw, thank you! That means a lot :)



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Is this normal? (8/3/2008 4:42:20 PM)

This is going to sound silly, but when I was 16 I was convinced I was doomed to be an "old maid" and I was so sad about that. [&o]

Now I am 26, married 6 years, with three kids. [:D] A lot can change in just a few short years. But yes, it's normal to worry about not getting to do something you really want to do--in your case, marriage



Chantelle913 -> RE: Is this normal? (8/3/2008 9:49:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: beachcooky

quote:

I feel the same way and thats so strange that we worry ourselves. I agreew ith someone that posted in the begining that if we asked God He shall give. God knows that marriage is on our heart and I am sure it will happen sooner or later. Beachcooky I have been reading alot of your post and we have so much in common. Esp from this thread. I read also what you said about having a bestfriend . You seem like a sweet person and soon your blessing will come down. Just give God the glory and the best is yet to come


Aw, thank you! That means a lot :)



Your more then welcome [:D] There is so much we can learn from each other to make each other strong..... I know its hard but anytime you need to talk, im always available [;)]



beachcooky -> RE: Is this normal? (8/4/2008 1:32:51 AM)

AWW, thanks!!



DaveW -> RE: Is this normal? (8/4/2008 11:52:05 AM)

It is absolutely normal. I have known young women who would have said yes to jack the ripper if he asked them to get married. ("a complete dramatization of course but you get my point")

Being young, time seems SOOOOOOO long but as you get older it gets so much shorter. Easy to say now but you will understand when you get there. Hang in there with God, work on being the best young lady and christian you can be, get involved with some area of service at your congregation and it will happen.



preserved -> RE: Is this normal? (8/4/2008 1:28:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: beachcooky

I really do hope so. I've made sooo many mistakes with guys in the past. And it wasn't until just recently, I made a commitment to wait until God tells me to date. And I have doubts that He won't. I mean, I know God has the power to provide me a husband...but I don't know what His will is. I don't even know HOW to find His will for my life. Someone told me to pray about it. And I hate praying for myself. I just feel selfish doing it.


You are not in tune with God...Already you are doubting what he can do...God acts upon faith to believe...You need to pray to God for faith. There is nothing selfish in talking to God thru prayer. How can you hate to pray for yourself. This is a way to communicate to God...Others can pray with you but they cannot pray for you if you hate to pray for yourself.. It is these areas that you are blocking God from dealing with you in your life...



jaimestarcross -> RE: Is this normal? (8/4/2008 1:37:02 PM)

I'd say all my friends including myself had those same kind of doubts at
one time or another...
The key is to keep your focus on God and Follow Him(and trust Him)... we should continually strive to conform our will to pleasing God whether we are single or married - don't allow doubts/fears to cause you to make unwise decisions... like, marrying whomever you can find that's willing.


*Remember Christ praying in the garden of Gethsemane?
"My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done."
{Christ conforming his will to that of the Father}



hotrodkev -> RE: Is this normal? (8/4/2008 1:47:24 PM)

to address the originally issue here. I'm in the same boat I want to give my all to someone, marriage, kids but I want to build a relationship around GOD. If he is the cornerstone then you cant go wrong, I have my quirks as all of us do, and personalities have to match but all things with God involved in your life he will provide. Its not selfish to pray for yourself as in I ask for strength and direction and guidance all the time. I pray for you and all of us that are in the same boat to find that eternal mate, I want to grow old with someone, and God will provide, He will and I have faith, for you and for me! It will be alright, Who knows when it will happen, Just read the signs and follow Gods hands to where your supposed to be! I'm right with you sweetie!



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