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RE: SAHM/W Support - Part III - 9/5/2008 7:44:39 PM
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nicole6598
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I revived the "love for your partner" thread if you wanted to go into that and give me any advice etc you may have or talk more about the love for partners in it. Its in the women's only folder.
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RE: SAHM/W Support - Part III - 9/5/2008 9:02:00 PM
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Nicole_Michelle
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quote:
ORIGINAL: spitzu
LOL No, not on it. Beside it. I put it down beside me and fell asleep. I was too lazy to be bothered enough to put it away and go to bed.  Dustin found me sleeping there when he got up and put it away for me. lol
He's written a couple of songs... yeah, it's a sappy romantic type thing. This one, anyway. I wish I could write sappy romantic songs, but most of mine are worship songs. Not that that's a bad thing or anything.
You mean he didn't pick you up and carry you to bed too? He just put your laptop to bed?
Sappy romantic is cool when your husband writes it!  Worship songs are great too!
Nicole, I am proud of you!!! I am so glad you went to God and figured all that out! That's so cool! I will pray for you. I'll have to check out that folder again Nicole.
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Because conservative churches are controlled by males who'd rather put the burden on women then take an equal share themselves? No, that is not a "men are evil" statement, it's a "humans are evil" statement. Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely
Yes, power surely does corrupt. And it is so against God.
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You mean, there's someone around here that might actually agree with me?! LOL!
LOL I usually agree with you Right?  Cool, I will check out facebook now.
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~Nicole~
<-----Genevieve my new siberian dwarf hamster!
For the love of photography - my blog
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RE: SAHM/W Support - Part III - 9/5/2008 9:19:55 PM
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LaurainAL
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A few years ago Dr. Laura Schessinger (I know I misspelled that terribly) wrote a book called "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. In the book she quotes my husband on the topic of wives submitting to their husbands and how more responsibility falls on the man to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Anyway, I am not good at explaining it, but I will try and find our copy of the book and post a summary.
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RE: SAHM/W Support - Part III - 9/5/2008 9:47:35 PM
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Sideways
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I apologize if I offended any of my conservative friends when I used the term "conservative churches" in my previous post. I certainly don't believe that all conservative churches are this way. My thoughts were that, in a church where men hold almost all the power, it could be corrupting. There would be no oversight to check an imbalance of "responsibilities of the wife" vs. "responsibilities of the husband".
I do believe that there are plenty of male Pastors who do not let power corrupt and will gladly take the men in their congregation to task for failing to love their wives. But churches are human, and power corruption happens. On the flip side, I've seen churches where the women ran everything, and the reverse problem can certainly happen there too.
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RE: SAHM/W Support - Part III - 9/5/2008 9:50:35 PM
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nicole6598
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Umm what are we agreeing on? My brain isn't working? That men aren't standing up and doing their bit or that they have the tougher part?
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RE: SAHM/W Support - Part III - 9/5/2008 10:00:01 PM
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spitzu
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Thanks for mentioning the parenting thread, Sideways. I rarely read in there, but I think I found what you were talking about and it's been an interesting read.
I meant that they have the tougher part, Nicole, and it seems that most mainstream Christian teaching puts the burden mostly on the wife when in reality, the husband has the bigger role to play. I mean, when you start looking at Christ loving His church, and all that entails... that is a big pill to swallow. Impossibly big shoes to fill... but the more they are filled, the easier it is for the wife to "submit" (and I say that as someone who is in a mutual submission marriage, btw). If the shoes are empty, the poor wife is left to look like the bad person for not being a stepford wife. 
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RE: SAHM/W Support - Part III - 9/5/2008 10:08:37 PM
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isaacsmom
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quote:
meant that they have the tougher part, Nicole, and it seems that most mainstream Christian teaching puts the burden mostly on the wife when in reality, the husband has the bigger role to play. I mean, when you start looking at Christ loving His church, and all that entails... that is a big pill to swallow. Impossibly big shoes to fill... but the more they are filled, the easier it is for the wife to "submit" (and I say that as someone who is in a mutual submission marriage, btw). If the shoes are empty, the poor wife is left to look like the bad person for not being a stepford wife.
That pretty much hits the nail on the head.
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In the book she quotes my husband on the topic of wives submitting to their husbands and how more responsibility falls on the man to love his wife as Christ loved the church.
She quoted Shane? Like really quoted him? That is nifty!
That is pretty cool! I've heard lots about that book. Good things. I haven't read it, though.
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RE: SAHM/W Support - Part III - 9/5/2008 10:23:31 PM
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LaurainAL
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Yay! I found it. Starting on page 149:
quote:
"The Reverend Shane LastNAme from Alabama was one of many in and out of clergy who wrote me to clarify this issue:
"Over the past couple of weeks I have noticed that some of your lady callers have had questions on a wife's submission to her husband and how it deals with their Christian faith when faced with a moral problem.
Nowhere in the bible is a woman told to blindly submit to the will of her husband. In fact, the first act of submission is on the husband's part! The husband is to submit himself to Christ and the will of God. When he does this he is not setting himself up as master, but rather as servant of the Lord. Only then is the wife to submit to the will of her husband - because the will of her husband will be obedience to the Lord. So the wife is not submitting to the husband, but to God.
As soon as the husband steps outside this and acts contrary to scripture, the woman is under no moral obligation whatsoever to her husband to trnasgress the moral law! Women are not, and were never meant to be, set up as servants to men in the kingdom of God.
A man is supposed to love his wife as Christ loves the church. That means that a husband is required to love, care for, nurture, protect, comfort, and even be willing to die for his wife. That is love."
< Message edited by LaurainAL -- 9/5/2008 10:36:31 PM >
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Life Trumps Choice
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RE: SAHM/W Support - Part III - 9/5/2008 10:34:07 PM
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LaurainAL
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Thanks Prudent.
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RE: SAHM/W Support - Part III - 9/5/2008 10:54:22 PM
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Nicole_Michelle
Posts: 2708
Joined: 8/22/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
I apologize if I offended any of my conservative friends when I used the term "conservative churches" in my previous post. I certainly don't believe that all conservative churches are this way. My thoughts were that, in a church where men hold almost all the power, it could be corrupting. There would be no oversight to check an imbalance of "responsibilities of the wife" vs. "responsibilities of the husband".
I do believe that there are plenty of male Pastors who do not let power corrupt and will gladly take the men in their congregation to task for failing to love their wives. But churches are human, and power corruption happens. On the flip side, I've seen churches where the women ran everything, and the reverse problem can certainly happen there too.
I went to a church that was not a very loving, Godly church. My husband went to the men's breakfasts and finally quit going because he was sick and tired of the men making fun of their wives and other women in the church.  No wonder nothing ever got done and there were always fights and people leaving. That church split up more times than I want to know.
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but the more they are filled, the easier it is for the wife to "submit" (and I say that as someone who is in a mutual submission marriage, btw). If the shoes are empty, the poor wife is left to look like the bad person for not being a stepford wife.
Mutual submission. Hey, that's us too! Yeah, I always feel sad when the wife ends up to be the bad guy for not being a door mat. It does happen in the church for sure.
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And yes, he is the coolest pastor ever because he just went to the store and brought home ICE CREAM!
Yep, every pastor should be just like your man!
quote:
Nowhere in the bible is a woman told to blindly submit to the will of her husband. In fact, the first act of submission is on the husband's part! The husband is to submit himself to Christ and the will of God. When he does this he is not setting himself up as master, but rather as servant of the Lord. Only then is the wife to submit to the will of her husband - because the will of her husband will be obedience to the Lord. So the wife is not submitting to the husband, but to God.
Thank you for posting this! This is so true and perfectly written!
_____________________________
~Nicole~
<-----Genevieve my new siberian dwarf hamster!
For the love of photography - my blog
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RE: SAHM/W Support - Part III - 9/5/2008 11:09:20 PM
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nicole6598
Posts: 4102
Joined: 11/3/2006
From: Australia
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maybe we could take this to the thread in this folder on "love for your partner"? I would like to talk more about it...
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RE: SAHM/W Support - Part III - 9/5/2008 11:27:31 PM
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HisCovenant
Posts: 4334
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
I apologize if I offended any of my conservative friends when I used the term "conservative churches" in my previous post. I certainly don't believe that all conservative churches are this way. My thoughts were that, in a church where men hold almost all the power, it could be corrupting. There would be no oversight to check an imbalance of "responsibilities of the wife" vs. "responsibilities of the husband".
I do believe that there are plenty of male Pastors who do not let power corrupt and will gladly take the men in their congregation to task for failing to love their wives. But churches are human, and power corruption happens. On the flip side, I've seen churches where the women ran everything, and the reverse problem can certainly happen there too.
Your comments aren't offensive, but I've never experienced a congregation where the men are not exhorted to love their wives less than the women are exhorted to submit, and I've always attended a conservative church (SBC and PCA) and been a conservative Christian. In fact, even in a conservative church men are exhorted more to do their part because loving is popular, but submission is often misunderstood and so not as popular. Maybe I'm just not in the "right" denominations or congregations to have experienced the men hyped up on power trying to subjugate women to slavery or women hype up on power trying to shame the men. I've seen it in the culture, but not as a message from any pulpit. That doesn't mean it's not there, just not in this conservative girl's experience.
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-HisCovenant/ Zipporah
My friends call me Zippy!
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RE: SAHM/W Support - Part III - 9/5/2008 11:37:03 PM
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HisCovenant
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That's really cool, Laura!! I love the way Shane stated that!
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My friends call me Zippy!
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RE: SAHM/W Support - Part III - 9/5/2008 11:42:06 PM
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nicole6598
Posts: 4102
Joined: 11/3/2006
From: Australia
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is facebook messing up for anyone else today?
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