shopping and the wardrobe (Full Version)

All Forums >> [People] >> She Says



Message

OneJohn410 -> shopping and the wardrobe (7/27/2008 2:55:13 AM)

Hi! A recent He Says helped inspire this thought(s).

Please consider these two statements as to what underlying affect they may have on you. It'd be great to hear which one you most likely use, and whether you've used the other one or thought much about this at all.

'I do not look good in purple (for example).'

'Purple (or whatever color it is) does not look good on me.'

You don't have to name a color, or say what that color does to- I just have the sound 'Ick!' not leaving me alone- the color that makes you go ick!

Thanks, ladies,
OneJohn410



slushie -> RE: shopping and the wardrobe (7/27/2008 3:07:55 PM)

I'm not sure if I have any colors that don't look good on me. I just dislike pink. Really really dislike it.

1st statement. I guess. [;)]



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: shopping and the wardrobe (7/27/2008 3:10:15 PM)

I'd use the second statement.



StraightAhead -> RE: shopping and the wardrobe (7/27/2008 11:45:43 PM)

I'd use the second statement too because colors that don't look good on me can look great on someone else. For example, orange is the one color in particular that would not look good on me.



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: shopping and the wardrobe (7/28/2008 12:08:52 AM)

I agree.

I chose the 2nd statement because, to me, the first statement is self-derogatory.



OneJohn410 -> RE: shopping and the wardrobe (7/29/2008 12:22:01 AM)

Thank you all again.

To hear the statements, I would likely challenge someone saying she did not look good in a color. I'd probably then hear thank you, but really, ick color is not my color. (This IS a good little fact for the single guy to keep in mind, or else to buy the surprise pair of socks-ha! or whatever somewhere where there's many colors, and she can exchange it for something non-ick).

The second statement really makes a statement. She ick! really dislikes the icky, icky- ick! color for clothing. There's nothing more to be said, but I'd note that she's got a positive self-image.

She likely has a positive self-image either way, but there's one other thing about these two ways of saying something. For the example (and from the he says side of things), the first focuses on her looking good, and the second more on what color clothes she does not like. So, there's a thought for the ladies on the power of your words and how you might have us thinking in a conversation.

I think this one's a wrap in a non-ick color. I've been told all colors look nice on me, btw.

OneJohn410



revbob4God -> RE: shopping and the wardrobe (7/29/2008 6:23:43 AM)

Son, you make this old preacher laugh. One thing I have learned throughout the years is that it is almost always the SAFEST to purchase Gift cards for people. That way, You just can't go wrong, especially with wives, God Bless them.



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: shopping and the wardrobe (7/29/2008 8:35:29 AM)

ppsstt . . .


Robert, welcome to the threads! [:)]

Just to let you know, the only man who can post in a "She Says" thread is the man who started the (OP).

Blessings,
Sharon-Marie



ebony101 -> RE: shopping and the wardrobe (7/30/2008 4:52:37 AM)

quote:

OneJohn410

'I do not look good in xxx (for example).'
I would likely challenge someone saying she did not look good in a color. I'd probably then hear thank you, but really, ick color is not my color.


I may use this statement if I want to emphasize that that colour and I really do not under any circumstances agree. NO way. NO How! I would probably stress the word 'not'.

'
quote:

OneJohn410
xxx (or whatever color it is) does not look good on me.'
The second statement really makes a statement. She ick! really dislikes the icky, icky- ick! color for clothing. There's nothing more to be said, but I'd note that she's got a positive self-image.



I use this statement more than I would use the first statement. I would d most likely start off using this second statement, but if the person to whom I am speaking keeps insisting that I should try xxx colour. I would switch to the first statement to emphasize my point.

I son't really have a non-preference colour however. So I would tend use these statements in reference to a particular style of clothing, that I wear or don't wear.



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: shopping and the wardrobe (7/30/2008 9:58:57 AM)

If, after hearing my say that a certain color (etc.) does not look good on me, the person(s) continued to insist that I try it, depending on several factors like who they were in relation to my life, how pushy they were being, etc., I would do one of two things:

- I would either smile and say, "No, really. I don't want to; let's please look at something else".

or

- I would look very pointedly at them, and then simply walk away without saying anything.





I refuse to be bullied.

[sm=redhairsmile.gif]



OneJohn410 -> RE: shopping and the wardrobe (8/3/2008 2:24:45 AM)

Thank everyone for their thoughts on this post (both shared and otherwise enjoyed- maybe even while ROFLOL-ing or LOL-ing or just CSTM (right! chuckling softly to myself- very good!).[;)]

I'm going to see if I can't send the signal to put the padlock on this one.

Blessings to all,
OneJohn410



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: shopping and the wardrobe (8/3/2008 2:34:35 AM)

Uhm, John . . . since there hadn't been any posts in this thread for the past 3+ days, it pretty-well had closed itself out.


But, even if other people do continue to post in it, if you don't want to participate, just don't respond to the posts. [:D]





(And I'm not sure if you're looking to have this thread "officially" closed; but moderators won't do that unless it's been overtly contentious, or if Fritz deems that it needs to be closed.)


Blessings.



saraimay75 -> RE: shopping and the wardrobe (8/4/2008 2:20:43 AM)

I do not look good in yellow. I am part Asian and there is a yellowish tint to my skin.



OneJohn410 -> RE: shopping and the wardrobe (8/4/2008 10:44:57 AM)

White Rose,

Not necessarily. I think I read I'd get a month of non-response before something would become 'non-repliable'. I have not come up with a real zinger yet like what does a guy's shoes say to you all about the guy, or something like that, yet, that could really compel some feedback. When She says is quieter than I know I am, then I've asked way too personal a question, offended folks... . I've come back to check on these, share thanks, learn(?) something, and so 15 days from now, I may not think to look at this again. So thanks(?) for pointing out that it had sat idle for a couple days. I've got another response! [:D]

OneJohn410



Hey Saraimay75,
Thanks for participating! Do you think you'd find yourself saying, "Yellow does not look good on me?" or "Yellow is not my color?" instead of "I do not look good in yellow?"

It is fascinating how we can all be different and find some things to either overenhance that difference, or steal from it being able to be noticed by overpowering it. To hear someone say to me that they just don't look good in any color, they hate shopping, Please just take me home - I'd just have to honestly wonder who's lying to them, or just to make such statements even if I wasn't shopping with them. It has to be deeper than the color of the cloth, I'd imagine.

One thing I'm glad of, I've NOT promised anyone a shopping trip with me and my wallet on this post, and that's not the point or any contest here.

Blessings,
OneJohn410



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: shopping and the wardrobe (8/4/2008 12:26:54 PM)

John, threads remain active for a year after the last post of that thread; then they are archived.

Until that time, the threads remain open and available for people to post in.

Honest.








And just because someone doesn't post in a thread doesn't mean they've been offended. It just may mean they have nothing to contribute to the thread.

Honest.







quote:

ORIGINAL: OneJohn410

To hear someone say to me that they just don't look good in any color, they hate shopping, Please just take me home - I'd just have to honestly wonder who's lying to them, or just to make such statements even if I wasn't shopping with them. It has to be deeper than the color of the cloth, I'd imagine.
Why would you think that?

Granted, it would be a bit odd to hear someone say they don't look good in any color. Have you actually heard people say that?
I would agree with you that in something like that, it could be a self-esteem issue.

But as far as someone saying they hate shopping, that may be all there is to it, with no deeper meaning.
For instance, shopping is at the very bottom of any list I might create; and even then, it often doesn't even make the list. LOL
I simply don't like to shop. I can think of myriad other things I'd rather be doing than shopping; and it doesn't even matter "what" I'm shopping for; it's just not an activity that I particularly enjoy.



Grace-N-Mercy -> RE: shopping and the wardrobe (8/4/2008 1:16:44 PM)

quote:

It is fascinating how we can all be different and find some things to either overenhance that difference, or steal from it being able to be noticed by overpowering it. To hear someone say to me that they just don't look good in any color, they hate shopping, Please just take me home - I'd just have to honestly wonder who's lying to them, or just to make such statements even if I wasn't shopping with them. It has to be deeper than the color of the cloth, I'd imagine.


Nor have I heard anyone say they don't look good in any color. I look FABULOUS, if you don't mind me saying so, in many colors... but purple clashes with my skin tone and hair color. There is a book, and many websites, on color analysis and I encourage everyone to check it out. It will show you how to enhance your own features and look stunning... all by changing the colors or tones we wear. I can't imagine that everyone looks good in every color. Can you say you look good in lime green, pastel pink, sunshine yellow, olive, and every color under the sun? Probably not. Most of the time, we make choices in our colors unconsciously. For me, I hold up a color next to my skin and hair and look in the mirror to see how it looks. Same thing with lipstick & other makeup colors. This is the conversation I had with my ex that prompted him agreeing that I do not look good in purple. The fact that he (said he) could "see" that in his mind was interesting to me and thus prompted the other thread.

Purple... it's the color of my walls at home... it's everywhere in my office and even in my car. But it is NOT the primary color of my clothing. As a redhead, my coloring is Autumn and I haven't found a purple (except for a deep plumb) that is complementary yet. Is my self-esteem crushed because of it?? Heavens no. Am I fishing for complements? Hardly! But I am very color-savvy and know what looks good on me and what doesn't.



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: shopping and the wardrobe (8/4/2008 1:19:03 PM)

Excellent post, Michelle!



Grace-N-Mercy -> RE: shopping and the wardrobe (8/4/2008 1:55:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings

Excellent post, Michelle!


Thank you! [:D]



OneJohn410 -> RE: shopping and the wardrobe (8/8/2008 12:05:14 AM)

quote:

quote:



ORIGINAL: OneJohn410

To hear someone say to me that they just don't look good in any color, they hate shopping, Please just take me home - I'd just have to honestly wonder who's lying to them, or just to make such statements even if I wasn't shopping with them. It has to be deeper than the color of the cloth, I'd imagine.
Why would you think that?


Hi Sharon-Marie,
Yes, that is a muddled and confusing section, and I recall the 'background' I wanted it in, so all is ok, and here's for recalling the recall. [:)]

The setting for that chunk of postetry...
A friend and I decide to go out shopping for some- well, I'l step back in time and say back to classes- clothes. She and I are not playing dress up, or thirty outfits each. Yet as we shop, she gets more and more disgusted with clothing- its color, its cut, its outrageous cost, the cheap manufacture- and I guess I have to make it mostly the color. Now, I've thought to myself she's looked great in two or three outfits, and I do know she likes shopping when she's got to shop. All I'm hearing though just seems to steal away from the friend (almost let firend go there! I don't know what dialect that's from[sm=icon_smile_tongue.gif]) I know.

I would think that, not because all women love shopping (because not all do), but because for all I'd seen and heard, someone has really put the hurt on my friend that she's unattractive and there's no help for it. When we left, it was agreed it was a good idea, and a needed one, and then everything is terrible.

Note that I have not reached the point of the story where I was able to sit down with her somewhere in some privacy and ask what was going on.

Blessings back at ya,
OneJohn410



OneJohn410 -> RE: shopping and the wardrobe (8/8/2008 12:52:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cute-N-Sassy

quote:

It is fascinating how we can all be different and find some things to either overenhance that difference, or steal from it being able to be noticed by overpowering it. To hear someone say to me that they just don't look good in any color, they hate shopping, Please just take me home - I'd just have to honestly wonder who's lying to them, or just to make such statements even if I wasn't shopping with them. It has to be deeper than the color of the cloth, I'd imagine.


Nor have I heard anyone say they don't look good in any color. I look FABULOUS, if you don't mind me saying so, in many colors... but purple clashes with my skin tone and hair color. There is a book, and many websites, on color analysis and I encourage everyone to check it out. It will show you how to enhance your own features and look stunning... all by changing the colors or tones we wear. I can't imagine that everyone looks good in every color. Can you say you look good in lime green, pastel pink, sunshine yellow, olive, and every color under the sun? Probably not. Most of the time, we make choices in our colors unconsciously. For me, I hold up a color next to my skin and hair and look in the mirror to see how it looks. Same thing with lipstick & other makeup colors. This is the conversation I had with my ex that prompted him agreeing that I do not look good in purple. The fact that he (said he) could "see" that in his mind was interesting to me and thus prompted the other thread.

Purple... it's the color of my walls at home... it's everywhere in my office and even in my car. But it is NOT the primary color of my clothing. As a redhead, my coloring is Autumn and I haven't found a purple (except for a deep plumb) that is complementary yet. Is my self-esteem crushed because of it?? Heavens no. Am I fishing for complements? Hardly! But I am very color-savvy and know what looks good on me and what doesn't.


Hi Michelle,
quote:

Can you say you look good in lime green, pastel pink, sunshine yellow, olive, and every color under the sun? Probably not.
Actually, I probably could. [;)] Trying them all on, though, would be a real chore.

Welcome to the other purple thread! I'm trying to keep it on topic, and your post has touched on what I suppose I'm wanting to try to convey in a sense. These are great, because other guys can't chip in and say that's right, brother, tell it. So although this was indeed inspired by your original purple discernment post, it's not the reason for this one.

You said self-esteem, I say perceived self-esteem. She says, 'I don't look good in lime green, sunshine yellow, pastel pink, and avacado." A few moments later, my other friend says, "Lime green, sunshine yellow, pastel pink, and avacado do not look good on me." Both women have great self-esteem. Maybe what the guy hears strikes him as funny that both ladies detest the same colors! No, but just bear with me a second. Can you hear it? The way one speaks, her fabulous appearance is diminished by colors, causing her to say she doesn't look good wearing them. The way the other speaks, she's confident of her fabulous appearance, and certain colors clash with it. No, I'm not telling the She says audience how to talk about clothing and self-perception. Just consider whether you want the attention on your fabulous appearance, or on what colors to never buy me ever ever ever thank you very much.

Now, to walk around and tell everyone you are fabulous... but dahling, there's something I must tell you.... You...look....mahvelous[:D].... that's not the way of things. But I must say, without reservation, if you are living in a purple world, and it makes you want to bring in a bat to work and start taking out the walls... then by all means- with all due emphasis- declare war on purple to those closest to you.

Blessings,
OneJohn410



Page: [1]



Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition 2.5 ANSI