Tree/neighbor advice needed (Full Version)

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MrsTracy72 -> Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/25/2008 1:05:57 PM)

Ok, so I don't post in here very often, but many of you know I just moved. My house is alot bigger than my old house and with that comes a bigger yard. The house was owned by an older couple who kind of let things go because they either weren't able to do them, or just had too many other things to do while they were here.

The first day we were here (moving day) the neighbor on the side of the house with the very untamed tree approached me and TOLD me to take that tree down. Now, I am not opposed to that, but my DH and I talked about it and we did have a guy come out to look at it for us.

He told us that he would trim the tree and that since it was healthy and simply needed a very good trimming, that we should hold off on taking down the tree until we see what things are like after it is trimmed. The tree does hang over our house and the neighbors driveway, but he assured us that once he was done, that would no longer be the case.

Today I was out and so was the neighbor and again, she told me she was waiting for us to take down the tree. I told her that we had talked about it and had someone over to look and after alot of discussion, we had decided to trim the tree and were going to remove all of the branches that hand over her driveway (way up high btw) and that is what was going to happen.

Then she started to kind of yell at me about the "helicoptors" the tree dropped and the mess it made. Personally, I don't think that it is her concern. It is a tree and even if it was on the other side of the house, the wind was going to blow debris from that tree and other trees in the neighborhood over into her yard and onto her sidewalk. They are trees and it happens.

Our neighborhood is filled with trees but yet she has a problem with my tree. Now I guess there was talk between her and the people before us about this tree, and the people before us told her that if she really wanted the tree down that badly, she could pay half. It is going to cost 1800.00 to take the tree down and since it is healthy, I don't see any reason to take it down as long as we maintain it.

Some of the roots are above the ground, but they are not interfering with her garden or yard. Now she is complaining that they are probably underneath her driveway. I can't help that, and the driveway is not being pushed up as a result of the roots and neither is the sidewalk.

I don't know what else to say to this woman or if I should say anything. But now she is threatening to get legal with this. We have been in this house less than a month and on vacation for two weeks of that so it isn't like we even have had much time to assess the situation.

So what would you do if you were me? I don't see myself taking the tree down completely, but I do plan on having it trimmed. I even have the appointment set up. We have six trees and all of them are being taken care of the way they need to be. So am I being reasonable or unreasonable?



loveleee -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/25/2008 1:32:28 PM)

I think that having the tree trimmed is a nice gesture to your neighbor due to the fact that you really dont have to do anything (since the tree is in your yard). I agree with you that since it is healthy it shouldn't be cut down since it is not in your way.
I am sorry that you have that type of neighbor though.[&:]



manda59 -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/25/2008 1:45:16 PM)

If it was me, I'd just have it trimmed. She could then either like it or lump it.



ta_mosquito -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/25/2008 1:49:45 PM)

In my cantankerousness, I'd tell her she can pay to have the tree taken down if she wants, but you were only going to pay for it to be trimmed. Her case would be thrown out of court since there is no damage at all to her property.



SweetLittleErin -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/25/2008 2:06:38 PM)

I would just trim it as you saw fit. I do not see where she would actually have any legal rights to do anything. The tree is on your property, it is your tree. I think you have done the courteous thing by trimming it. As far as the helicopters bothering her....too bad.



MrsTracy72 -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/25/2008 2:44:14 PM)

Ok, so this is what we did. Last weekend, we had someone here to look at all 6 of our trees to have them trimmed. None of them have been taken care of. I am not going to spend all of my money on one tree to be taken down just because she doesn't like the things that fall from it when I have an entire yard that needs work. (really bad)

I told her that we were having the tree trimmed, then her son told us that "legally, the roots can't be on anyone elses property even if they are underground" To that I say tear up your perfectly level sidewalk and driveway and if the roots are underneath (which I am sure they are, we can take it to court) because as long as they are not disrupting anything, then they have no legal standing. Tree roots cannot be contained to a specific area they are trees not people.

Then one of the other people she had over told me to take the tree down and get a smaller tree. Again, if they want to pay for it, then fine. The tree can come down and they can replace it with a new and comprible tree.

Plus, I am thinking that since this conversation was had with the previous neighbors and they (the people who want the tree down) took no action then, we are grandfathered in and as long as the roots do not disrupt their property, then they have no say.

I do have a responsibility to make sure the tree does not hang over their property, or cause damage to their property, but I also know that as far as insurance companies are concerned, you are only liable if you know there is a problem and fail to have it corrected. So as of now, there is no problem because as I stated before, the sidewalks and driveway are not affected by the roots or the tree and until we see signs of that, which we would have by now since the tree is probably over 100 years old and the sidewalks and driveways have been there since the 50s, we have nothing to worry about.

And I don't really care what she thinks, but I was not happy when the first thing I was approached with today was that. Especially since all was said AFTER I told her we were having the entire tree trimmed.

I think she is just bored and has nothing better to do than to complain. AND if she really wants to be that way, her son comes over every day and parks right in front of my driveway. It is a really nice car and legally, you have to be three feet from any driveway or corner and that would mean that because of the space between her driveway and mine, he would have to park across the street if he doesn't want a ticket. But do I really want to go there? NOT.



IonMoon -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/25/2008 3:40:54 PM)

I wouldn't even make the offer of letting them pay to have it cut down if they want.

I would avoid the topic as mucha s possible, when they start about it, smile and nod. Say something like, "Thanks for sharing your concerns, we'll take it into consideration. Have a nice day!"

And when they threaten legal action, etc. Smile and nod and say, "I'm sorry you feel that way, but do what you feel is necessary."

I would just totally refuse to argue about it (which is what they want to do!).

They probably realize they have no legal recourse (Esp if you get it trimmed!) and think that by intimidating you they will get their way.

For all we know they did try to take action about it before, but were unsuccessful...

Once they realize they can't intimidate you, they will probably back off.

And I would keep records of everything you do regarding the tree--before and after pics, receipts from the trimming, etc.

Tara P



his_chosen -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/25/2008 4:02:13 PM)

Oh for heaven's sake! Has this woman have nothing better to worry about?!

Trim the tree so as few limbs as possible are on her property. Other than that, forget it! If the tree is 100yrs old, it's no doubt very large and provides a good deal of shade. That keeps her house cooler in the summer. And, the grass in her yard is used to shade. Take out the tree and her house will be hotter and all the grass will die! Oh, and in our neighborhood we have all dwarf maple trees. The gutters on our high roof still get clogged in the spring.

There might be hope afterall. We had trouble with our neighbors when we first moved in. She was nasty and called the cops on up a couple times. In the last year, she's finally decided we're okay and we've become friends. It's taken five years, but I'm glad I held my tongue!



stamper_ben -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/25/2008 4:05:06 PM)

I'd feed the tree and see just how much larger it could grow. Let them pay to have the branches and roots on their side of the property line cut out, but they have no right to demand you take any sort of action that you don't want to.

In the efforts of neighborhood peace you should probably take Tara's advice above. Just smile, wave and nod your head.[8|]



MrsTracy72 -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/25/2008 4:05:29 PM)

Oh my gosh Tara, thanks. I totally didn't even think of the before and after pics. I mean usually I would, but I am just so steamed over this that it didn't cross my mind. I think I am going to take pics today since they are comming in a couple of weeks to do the work.

I know this was brought up to the previous owners because the woman who wants the tree down demanded they take it down and yet when they said they would if she paid half. (they too didn't want to take down a healthy tree) the neighbor refused and said it wasn't her tree. So, she made my point. It is NOT her tree so she has NO reason to tell me what to do with it and you can't have your cake and eat it too.

What she is also going to find out about me is that not only can I NOT be intimidated, but that since I do stay home during the day and know alot about the legal system, if we did end up in court over it, I would go with no attorney and that would give me unlimited resources (money or no need for it) do fight this until she is dead and buried.

It just bothers me that she approached me while we were moving in. Oh, and then she asked me to keep my kids quiet in the afternoon because that is when her husband naps. How sweet. Anyway, my back yard faces her house and apparently his bedroom. So sorry, but my kids play back there and while I don't allow them to scream and yell, they can get loud outside because that is what outside voices are for and I am not going to keep them in so her husband can nap during the day. UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!



garsyt -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/25/2008 6:13:03 PM)

Buy him a cheap pair of ear plugs.

No forget it. If she complains about the kids being too loud, tell her that she can call the police. And they would likely come out and tell her that the city has no noise ordinances concerning the afternoon, now if it were late at night, maybe she'd have a case. Besides it's summer and kids need time to be kids and be noisy, especially outside.

As for the tree. We have two trees that the neighbors keep trying to talk me into cutting down. The trees are right on the line between our properties and I ALWAYS mow and trim around them so things look really nice. I'm still trying to figure out why they want me to cut them down, except they are right on the property line and when the leaves fall they get a lot of them, which I ALWAYS take the time to rake out of their yard as promptly as possible. But I'm keeping my trees! Period! I like the shade they give and the visual reminder of where the line is, for my kids. If the trees weren't there my kids would be running all over their yard too. Just tell your neighbor to mind her own business and if it weren't this tree blowing the helicopters into her yard it would be some other tree and you are NOT cutting all the trees down!

Blessings,

Garsy



BJinWA -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/25/2008 6:29:26 PM)

adorable kids.....btw, i love the sound of children playing.

we once lived by a neighbor who was very demanding, like yours. she taught her kids to make fun of my dh and his friends when they were playing basketball in our driveway. they once put in a new fence and cut the power to our house. we were both at work and when we got home, the fridge, freezer and most of the contents were warm, or melted. had they called the power company when the knew they did it.....never mind, you get the point.

i pretty much acted as tara suggested. a couple of years later, we got a phone call from the school. it seems her son had broken his arm and we were the only people they could get ahold of. her son was in 2nd grade at the time and could remember our last name because of the teasing. so that's who they called. so, i grit my teeth and went over to her house. she would take the phone off the hook and send her youngest outside to play with the doors locked so she could take her nap. i rang and rang the doorbell, finally i went under her bedroom window and screamed that it was an emergency. she ended up rushing off to take him to the hospital and i babysat the youngest for about 5 hours.

after that, things changed (imagine that) anyway, we all have a purpose. and this is part of the Divine plan.

good luck to you. you sound like the kind of person who will take the high road and be mightily blessed for it.



ta_mosquito -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/25/2008 6:41:43 PM)

In some areas, you have to have a permit to cut down a mature, healthy tree. Thank the environmentalists for that one. [8D]



zmanfan38 -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/25/2008 11:44:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrsTracy72
Oh, and then she asked me to keep my kids quiet in the afternoon because that is when her husband naps. How sweet.


Perhaps you could ask that her husband never mow his lawn until after noon because your kids sleep late.[8D]


Boy, what a "welcome to the neighborhood" you got. She needed to let you take a breath before blasting you about your tree...good grief.



MrsTracy72 -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/26/2008 12:29:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: garsyt

Buy him a cheap pair of ear plugs.
Blessings,

Garsy


LOL, we have lots of those around since we love going to airshows.


quote:

ORIGINAL: stamper_ben

I'd feed the tree and see just how much larger it could grow. Let them pay to have the branches and roots on their side of the property line cut out, but they have no right to demand you take any sort of action that you don't want to.

In the efforts of neighborhood peace you should probably take Tara's advice above. Just smile, wave and nod your head.[8|]


LOL, the tree is huge already. It is at least 4 feet in diamater. But it is well within our property limits.


quote:

ORIGINAL: BJinWA

adorable kids.....btw, i love the sound of children playing.

good luck to you. you sound like the kind of person who will take the high road and be mightily blessed for it.


Thanks. I love the sound of them playing also. Just not the fighting. And yes, I will take the high road. It is my tree and it is going to stay unless they want to pay to cut it down, take responsibility for all of the liabliity for both of our properties should something bad happen, then pay for the stump grinding, then she can pay for a professional to come out and plant a pretty but smaller flowering tree (without thorns) and the landscaping to go with it. Then I would take the tree down. But it will have to be replaced. I hate watching trees go down just because.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ta_mosquito

In some areas, you have to have a permit to cut down a mature, healthy tree. Thank the environmentalists for that one. [8D]


And that is one thing I am very thankful of. But I don't think we have that here. People get rid of trees left and right and simply don't replace them. So sad really.


quote:

ORIGINAL: zmanfan38
Perhaps you could ask that her husband never mow his lawn until after noon because your kids sleep late.[8D]

Boy, what a "welcome to the neighborhood" you got. She needed to let you take a breath before blasting you about your tree...good grief.


LOL, Honestly I have not seen them mow their lawn yet, but I am always out with my kids in the morning. And yes, I loved my welcome. We decided to take a break and get some lunch, we ate out on the deck which is near the tree and out she came. I didn't even get to unwrap my sub before she was on me. Good thing though because by then, I was overtired and an emotional wreck as things were not going so well with the sale of our house, I probably would have thrown the food at her. And it was a messy, but very good cheesesteak sub with lots and lots of mayo.

So you really are from Chicago? Very close to me. DH works in Waukegan.



zmanfan38 -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/26/2008 8:51:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrsTracy72


So you really are from Chicago? Very close to me. DH works in Waukegan.


I'm glad you didn't waste your yummy cheesesteak sub. yum![sm=icon_smile_tongue.gif]

We live in East TN, but we're both big Cubs fans. Well, I'm much more a fan than my hubby, but he would tell you otherwise (don't listen).[:D]

We almost made it to Chicago for a game and a 7 day vacation and then we got the call that our daughter was born (we adopted), so we decided to make it a trip for 3 later.[:)]



MrsTracy72 -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/26/2008 10:51:16 PM)

Ok, so today we are outside and the woman's husband comes and introduces himself to MY HUSBAND (I was right there) and talked to him about what a nice job we did with our deck. Then he asked us if the people before us told us about the problems with that deck. Ok, now I am wondering what craziness they are going to come up with now. BUT apparently, there was at one time (don't know if there still is) a problem with racoons living under the deck.

He was very nice to my husband and told him where the animals were getting in and that they should have told us. We just pressure washed the deck though and if there were any large animals living under there, I am sure they were gone when it started to flood underneath.

He did not say one word about the tree so that was good. Today I spent the day on that side of the house killing the millions of weeds that were left to us in this move. They just so happened to be behind the small garden that this neighbor has right on the property line. So I got rid of all of our weeds and in doing that, it just made all of the weeds that had accumulated in her garden more noticable. So I am sure she won't like that, but that is ok.

She did thank me for getting rid of them, and I do have plans for that side of the yard because it totally needs help and is quite useless at the moment, but it is going to take time. Things need to be dug out, dirt needs to be dumped, grass needs to be planted and grow. It is just going to take time.

But while they were out, my girls were almost on their best behavior. I told Kay to go in the house and change for church. She declined my invitation so I told her that she didn't have to, but I was going to pick out her clothes and she was going to wear them whether she wanted to or not. The neighbors giggled at that.

Eventually we had to stop and get ready for church. Then we ended up eating out after so we didn't get home until later so the rest of the yardwork will have to wait until tomorrow. But that is a good thing because I am sore from all I did today.

I think that in the end, when we clean up that side of the yard and the tree is trimmed, she will be happier. And I did look at the tree roots that you can see and none of them are on her property so she can't complain there. But I may dump dirt over them and plant grass next year so that it looks nicer and the kids won't trip over them when playing. And if things don't go so well, a cute little fence will go up as close to the property line as we can go.



MyCatSmokey2006 -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/26/2008 11:06:53 PM)

If she took you to court and the Honorable Judge Judy Sheinlin (sp?) was presiding over the case, I'm sure that she's tell your neighbor a few things that I can't post here due to TOS. [&:]



MrsTracy72 -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/26/2008 11:18:14 PM)

LOL, after being divorced and watching the legal system at work, I think that most of those TV judges have the right idea. Right is right and wrong is wrong. No legal technicalities. No objections because a word was spelled wrong, no stupid loopholes. Just right and wrong. Why can't the legal system seem to get that? Even our lawmakers. I sat through a Senate session in DC and I can't believe that these well educated and well paid men were wasting time arguing over who spoke for 30 SECONDS and who didn't. Honestly, what has happened to people these days? So I have a tree that is not the kind she wants. So I should be all touchy feeling and get rid of it for her sake? I don't think so. But we will see what happens as time goes on.



Ps103 -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/28/2008 11:02:40 PM)

[:D] We had the opposite tree problem with our neighbors.

We had a line of pine trees that were way too tall on the side of our yard that faces the neighbor's lawn. They made a mess on *our* roof, and turned out to be the source of both of our spring allergies. So we decided they had to go.

The neighbor saw us talking to the tree man and asked what he was going to do, so Himself said "He is going to take out the pine trees." When he asked why, Himself explained. The neighbor got very quiet and said he would talk to his wife and they would decide what they wanted to do.

Turned out that they really liked the wind break that the trees made. We explained that we were going to replace them with Norway Spruces, and that in a few years they would be tall enough to make a wind break, but they were really mad for a long time.

I just couldn't get over the idea that we were supposd to consult with them about what we did with our trees[&:]

They are really nice people though. And I hope your neighbors are too, after you get all settled in.

Come to think of it, when Himself moved in, these same neighbors walked over and asked first thing what he was planning to do about the ground cover in the front yard. He thought it was on his property, and asked if Himself was going to get a survey. He did, and it turned out the neighbor's yard was a lot smaller than they had thought, and that the ground cover wasn't on their property at all. They weren't reall happy about that, either.

Oh well. People are strange[8D] (I know I am)



TwinCityGirl -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/28/2008 11:47:32 PM)

Mrs. Tracy:

Could it be that this woman is just testing the waters with you? She's been waiting for the previous owners to "do things her way" and they never caved in so now she thinks if she sidles on over to the new owners and explains how things need to be done that you'll just do them?

Good for you for not backing down yet keeping your cool on things.

In our city a homeowner does have rights to trim back a neighbor's tree/shrubs if they are hanging over into their yard. I have no idea about the root systems, but I know you can legally trim the neighbor's tree if you need to. We have done that with our neighbor's tree (we are friendly with them, and my husband used to trim trees back in his college days so he has the equipment and knows how to do it).

I'm glad things seem to be going a little better but my goodness that was not called for and she certainly can't complain if she built or bought a house with a driveway poured over the top of tree roots. That's on her, ya know?

Jeanie



zmanfan38 -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/28/2008 11:58:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwinCityGirl

Could it be that this woman is just testing the waters with you? She's been waiting for the previous owners to "do things her way" and they never caved in so now she thinks if she sidles on over to the new owners and explains how things need to be done that you'll just do them?



Great question!

We have a neighbor (in the cul-de-sac...not next door) who has been in this neighborhood since it was built and he has delusions of ownership in the entire cul-de-sac. When we moved in (11 years ago) he tried to push things and ideas on us and we respectfully declined. One day he pushed his imagined authority too far and I pushed back (figuratively speaking). We didn't speak for about 5 years, but we are very cordial now and he is very well aware that he has no say so where my property is concerned unless he wants to start paying our mortgage, insurance and property taxes.

Some people just take as much as you're willing to let them take and don't back off until you put your foot down.



MrsTracy72 -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/29/2008 10:09:04 PM)

Yesterday I was out trimming my very out of control lilac bush and it is hanging over her flowers, so while I can't trim it down to where I want to because I don't have the right tools, I did the best I could, and at least got the parts that were hanging over her flowers gone.

She came out to talk and we talked about alot. She told me a bit about the people who used to live here before, thanked me for getting rid of the weeds behind her flowers which are on my side, and that was it.

I told her a bit about us and my husband and kids. She asked where we went to church. We are in a very Catholic neighborhood and while I don't go to a local church anymore, I told her where we were last year, and where we are now. I didn't want her to flip out over our choice of churches. It is on the north side of the city and while we are on the very south end of that county, people wonder why we drive so far to go to church, but then automatically assume cult when they find out that it is non denomonitional. We have a very close knit Pentecostal (sp) church here and people automatically think that of them too. I guess it happens in a neighborhood of older more "traditional" people.

So anyway, I did tell her that next week the tree guy was coming to trim the trees and that he was going to trim over her driveway so that she might want to keep her car away. She seemed surprised that we are just trimming the tree, but didn't say anything.

Then I told her that once all 6 trees are trimmed, the yard and block will look so much nicer. My house is a very long house on a very long lot which happens to be on a corner, so it is going to change the look of two entire blocks. But I don't really have much land. How funny. Anyway, long story short, she was quiet about that and I think she is going to see what happens when the trees are trimmed.

And I called the city and asked about the roots and while I didn't believe it, I did have to ask and the woman at the street department told me that they can squwak about the roots all they want, but they can't say anything about them unless they are in their yard or pushing up their sidewalk or driveway. That isn't the case so I am good. But I can't wait to get the trees trimmed and have that part done with. We just moved here a month ago and I am still trying to make this house my own. Changing the look of the yard will help alot.



TwinCityGirl -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/30/2008 11:52:01 AM)

Mrs. Tracy,

You sound like such a NICE neighbor! Please come and live next to ME!!!! I'm glad you have politely stood your ground. It sounds like your neighbor lady is starting to get what your boundaries are, and that's a good thing!

I'm so impressed with all you have done OUTSIDE your house since moving in just one month ago. You should be really proud of yourself for that.

There is a woman on the forums, Bethany, who she and her husband bought a corner lot and did AMAZING things to clean it and clear it. So beautiful what they have done with it and you're right, it makes a difference to more than one block. I'll have to send her over to this thread so she can encourage you because what she and her husband did makes a big difference to their block and I'm quite sure their neighbors were also very impressed!

Hopefully the trimmed trees (which is no small expense for you) will show your neighbor that:

A) You care about your property and,
B) You have your own plans on what you will and won't be doing with your yard.


Good for you!

Jeanie



laughinggirl -> RE: Tree/neighbor advice needed (7/30/2008 1:02:23 PM)

Oh, I can so relate to this!! When we bought our house, the fence was completely rotted and was barely held in place with ropes lashed to trees in the backyard. It was terrible. We had the fence replaced a few months after moving in and many neighbors have made a point to thank us. Our neighborhood is cute and well-maintained, so the collapsing fence was a huge eyesore for the whole area. We also had sod put in the backyard and a bunch of diseased bushes hauled off.

We are on a corner lot. Thankfully, the one neighbor couple with whom we share a property line is very nice and pleasant.

Fence Before

Fence After

Side Before

Side After

Backyard Before - YES, there is an ugly tire around the tree!

Backyard After



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