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Luvinme -> RE: What to do about a fear (7/25/2008 9:20:31 PM)
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Hi NightJay, I just wanted to say that I know exactly what you are saying. I also have a phobia and apparently they are common.
Not a lot of people will admit it. Personally, I believe it is the Devil who is trying to make me look stupid or make me fearful to do simple things so that I will not get ahead with God.
It has to be a spiritual thing as it is your mind playing tricks on you and how you think.
Well, for me what I have learned is that knowledge is power. Our insecurities are letting the devil have room to play with our minds. Educate yourself on phobias - it sounds like you have "specific phobia." There are workbooks that you can buy that can lead you on a better, healthier way of thinking. Also, journalling is great to record your fearful thinking habits and how to change them. I am also told that it is curable with perseverance and lots of homework. My councilor told me to read "Anxiety Disorders" by J. Paul Caldwell which helped me to understand my phobia better, "Social Phobia." Even though I am quite outgoing and like to be social I have stage fright in the simplest situations and because I am so self-conscious I feel there are certain things I just cannot do around people - like eat. It is getting worse as I have creative ways to avoid my fears, but this only makes things worse and more and more I am isolating myself. It is terrible, and I know it sounds simple, but it is extremely difficult for me to overcome my fear. Books I have read explain that situations that are fearful are stored in our memory and our brain does not differentiate these fearful situations from say one we really should be fearful of like an accident or something. Our body reacts in the same way and we shut down in so many ways that debilitate us from functioning properly.
I think somehow I have developed these fears since I feel in a lot of ways I just don't fit in. It stems from from my childhood years and a father that was extremely critical. When I became a Christian, secular crowds became awkward to me and I did not know how to deal with them. Over time, my fears developed to the extremes they are now.
I am so fearful now that Bible Study and things that are good for me are starting to feel too "dangerous" for me. I have all sorts of physical problems just because of the anxieties of being around people. It is terrible and I try desperately not to be afraid.
Anyway, my councilor has said a number of times and I have also read it more than once that we can conquer our fears. It is also Biblical as you know, but it is making our minds really believe it that is the hard part since our mind constantly thinks it is in a fearful situation and goes into "safe mode" when it really isn't a fearful situation.
I read another book, someone here told me to read it. It is called "Who Switched off My Brain" by Caroline Leaf. It claims that our brain has to physically believe something. If our brain already physically believes from a bad memory, but how do we change it. This is where cognitive therapy comes in and lots of it. We have to constantly remind our brain of truth. This is where reading books on the enemy which in our case is phobias and understanding every detail of how the enemy plays with us will give us power. Power is knowledge!! Read God's word passionately. We need to learn not to be insecure anymore and that there is confidence in truth in believing God's word. Over and over again remind yourself. You know how I remembered my times tables when I was a kid, over and over again till it was imbedded in my brain.
Some other books I was told to read:
The Dance of Fear - Harriet Lerner
You Can Be Happy No Matter What - ________ Carlson
There are lots of books on this subject that can even be found at the library. Do lots of research or even councelling. Also, eat healthy, sleep good and exercise really helps a lot.
If you are interested please PM me. I would love to hear your progress!
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