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RE: Suddenly Single - 7/29/2008 3:22:31 PM
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JCMK
Posts: 119
Joined: 12/30/2007
Status: offline
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I became "suddenly single" almost two years ago. You might want to read the OP I wrote in the Marriage Forum called "I Want my Life Back". And then again, you might not want to read it. I haven't been and still am not doing very well. Actually, I hate it. I'm trying really hard to get over the hurt and feelings of abandonment, but for some reason I just can't seem to move on. I've tried everything.
I am 60 and jokingly tell my friends that I am too young to be single and too old to start all over.
All I know is that I did not want to be alone, and I want/need a companion. I try to accept singlehood as I believe I will be single the rest of my life. It's just hard accept such disappointment and the feeling of failure. I'm still at the place where I feel like I should have been able to do something to prevent it happening. I know that I could have if I had just been stronger and wiser. I accept he is gone, and I know that regrets will just drag me down and keep me down. I just don't know how to move on and be happy with a life I never, ever wanted, and how to accept losing the life that I worked hard so many years to have.
Thanks for suggesting DivorceCare. I signed up for the daily email. There is a church close to me that starts the classes in September, but they are on Wednesday nights and I don't want to miss my own church services for that many weeks in a row.
Maybe there will be another church close to me who will have the DivorceCare classes.
Blessings to all!
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RE: Suddenly Single - 7/29/2008 3:33:34 PM
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hotsaucygma
Posts: 2982
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
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JCMK, I would suggest going to at least the first Wed. night DivorceCare meeting. There is a schedule of sessions and what they deal with and a work book. You could skip, say the ones that deal with children's issues and stuff like that, and not miss so many weeks of Church but still benefit from the sessions that do deal with issues you are dealing with. I would at least try to get to the first few meetings though since you will build relationships with people that way. We even had a couple people that could only come every other session because they had their kids on one week and didn't want to leave them alone or with a babysitter. One of them went twice, hitting the sessions he had missed the first time on the second round of DC! We had people in their later 20's all the way up to almost 70 I think... but most of us were in our late 40's and 50's. I really do strongly suggest trying to make it!
_____________________________
Dear Lord, let my words today be as sweet and delicious as cheesecake... for tomorrow I may have to eat them!
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RE: Suddenly Single - 8/3/2008 7:33:19 PM
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marykat718
Posts: 2
Joined: 8/3/2008
Status: offline
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Thank you for saying that. I have been divorced for a little over a year and am still grieving. Many of my friends are tired of hearing about it and I'm sure they wish I would just get over it already. Unfortunately, like you, I can't seem to "speed things up". It's nice to know there are other people out there like me and that it takes as long as it takes. Again, thanks!
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RE: Suddenly Single - 8/4/2008 8:15:47 AM
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offtheisland
Posts: 479
Joined: 7/17/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: marykat718
Thank you for saying that. I have been divorced for a little over a year and am still grieving. Many of my friends are tired of hearing about it and I'm sure they wish I would just get over it already. Unfortunately, like you, I can't seem to "speed things up". It's nice to know there are other people out there like me and that it takes as long as it takes. Again, thanks!
For some people, it takes more time to grieve. A divorce is like getting one of your limbs cut off. We spend 20+ years sleeping in the same bed, then all of a sudden that person is not there. Where there was once the snore, the smell, and the warmth of the body and then it is no more. DivorceCare is a place where you can go instead of your "tiring friends." I am sure they do not have a clue of what you are going through.
It is going on three years for me, and I still have those "moments."
_____________________________
My heart is steadfast, O God; I will sing and make music with all my soul.
Psalm 108:1
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RE: Suddenly Single - 8/4/2008 4:07:12 PM
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nyst8ofmind
Posts: 54
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
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Hello Everyone!
Sorry for the delay in my reply to your posts/encouragement. So much as happened since my post - all good though. I've moved out of the marital property and the Lord has blessed me with a small one-bedroom apartment... for which I am truly appreciative. Of course, my first few nights were rough ... had to get used to being in a new place ALONE. Heard all sorts of noises, etc. But to God be the glory, He brought me through. THANK YOU ALL for every testimony and word of encouragement. I will certainly hold on to all that was shared. Most days I'm okay, but weekends are still pretty rough because I don't feel comfortable just yet going to dinner, movie, etc. by myself. Working on getting a computer at home so that I can stay better connected to the community. Until then I have to email from work. I would truly appreciate your continued prayer support - specifically for continued employment and that He would give me the courage to trust Him through this very dark, uncertain, lonely time.
Showers of Blessings to you all!
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