To Eat or Not To Eat... (Full Version)

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ChoirDJ -> To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/18/2008 3:30:30 PM)

Okay Women,

I am in a deep bind and I really really need your help (and your intuition) in making it back safely to work on Monday. You can be light-hearted in your response (as I am) and have fun with this one or you can be serious in your responses.

There's a woman at work that seems to have a growing interest in me but the feelings are definitely not mutual for a myriad of reasons. I try to keep most of our conversations cordial for the most part to not lead her on in any way. She's not a Christian but I get the sense she is looking for some answers so she tends to ask me a lot of questions along those lines. Her cubicle is fairly close to my office so she comes in on average 3-5 times a day to chat. She's a nice woman who prides herself on being a good cook but she's just a little bit on the odd side if you know what I mean.

Now here's the dilemma: It was not even noon and she's already been in my office about three times today. This last time she asked me if I "got it." Not understanding what she meant, I asked her "did I get what?" She responded the food? I said "what food"?...and "she said check your bottom drawer". So I opened my bottom drawer up and she made some beans in rice and stored in tupperware for me to "eat at home over the weekend". I kinda of sort of don't feel like I know this woman well enough to eat her cooking although I appreciate the thoughtful gesture.

So women, what does the survey say? Shall I eat to my heart's content or not? Am I being maybe a little too paranoid due to just recently recovering from a stomach virus I had a couple of days ago? Now I know for an absolute fact there's no pulling any punches with the women in this forum and you all will smell it from a mile away if there's any trouble. Assuming you all are probably thinking the situation seems a little odd and that I shouldn't partake of what could be my last meal, how do I honestly (telling the truth is sooo hard sometimes) explain where that delicious food went over the weekend?



ta_mosquito -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/18/2008 3:36:26 PM)

Honestly, I think you should've refused it.

As to what to do now, I don't know.



BugLady -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/18/2008 5:52:52 PM)

quote:

Honestly, I think you should've refused it.


I agree.

But since you're in it now. Be direct. Just as you explained yourself here. Tell her while you appreciate the thoughtful gesture, you don't understand what her intent was. It's made you uncomfortable, no? Tell her so. Perhaps ask if she does this sort of thing for others in the office or did she single you out for some reason. Get to the bottom of it, in other words.



beachcooky -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/18/2008 5:53:04 PM)

Welll--I would take it, then throw it out hahahah.
Thats just what I would do. It's much easier to say, "No thank you."
But I tend to make things more complicated [8|]



BugLady -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/18/2008 7:25:52 PM)

You could also be on the look-out for someone hungry on your way home. You know, someone with a cardboard sign "Broke and hungry. Anything helps."



beachcooky -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/18/2008 11:11:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BugLady

You could also be on the look-out for someone hungry on your way home. You know, someone with a cardboard sign "Broke and hungry. Anything helps."


Or that too. When my mom isn't making something good for dinner, I go out with a sign that says exactly that. :p



ChoirDJ -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/19/2008 12:34:14 AM)

Thanks for all the responses. The more I thought about your comments and the context of the situation, I came to the conclusion that it was not as out of the ordinary as it seemed at first. Just a couple of days ago, another woman at my job found out I like Curry Chicken so she offered to bring me some and that's the type of atmosphere I work in. I admit I got a little weird on this one (we christians can do this sometimes) and I pushed the panic button a little too soon. I'm going to be honest with you all on this follow up. I swallowed the beans and rice and now I'm swallowing my pride to confess (lol). Although I'm not necessarily a fan of beans, I have to admit those were some of the best beans.



Prairiehiker -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/19/2008 12:54:21 AM)

I'd say you were a tiny bit paranoid. Women often do things for men if they feel that the man is a good guy and it doesn't always mean that they are interested in the man romantically.

I often do things for my friends, male or female. If I know that someone wants to go to a football game, if I have tickets, I always offer them. If I know that someone isn't feeling well, or going through struggles, I'd make it a point to do something nice for them--take them to a movie, coffee, etc, just be there to talk. Also, I cook for people who appreciates my cooking. I always make those Asian spring rolls if anyone at work or at my kids day care even mentions them.

I think when someone does something nice to you, say thank you, and accept it. If it starts happening all too often, or if you're being singled out and you don't like it, then, that's when you need to have a talk to ensure that there's no misunderstanding. But always be polite and always be respectful.



ebony101 -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/19/2008 1:31:44 PM)

Gosh, what a bind. I can only give you a humorous & light-hearted as opposed to a serious response. In my country's culture, on the superstitious side everyone would vehemently tell you "Don't eat those beans!" followed by some account of something similar that happened to someone they knew (a friend, relative, uncle's daughter's best friend [:D]), and how this person narrowly escaped disaster. Oh the evils that would have surely occurred if they'd eaten those beans. Mm, Mm, Mm (shake head in "if only you knew' fashion).

[:D]



BugLady -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/19/2008 4:22:49 PM)

quote:

Just a couple of days ago, another woman at my job found out I like Curry Chicken so she offered to bring me some and that's the type of atmosphere I work in.


Had you provided this ^^ tidbit of info in your initial post you would have gotten different responses, I'm sure.

Not sure I agree that "we christians do this sometimes", though. I still think it's strange she put the beans in your desk. I personally consider one's desk their personal space, and an invasion of privacy to have someone place something in it without their knowledge. But if you're okay with it that's all that matters.



ChoirDJ -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/19/2008 5:21:14 PM)

Regarding the personal space, I did feel a little uneasy about her putting them in my drawer because I don't always remember if there's something personal laying around or not. I was referring to myself as being the quirky one in the "we Christians" comment, not her because she admittedly isn't one...yet. She came out to church once and said our ministry was the first one where she didn't feel condemned from the pulpit. She said she stopped going to church a long time ago because she was tired of going to hear a message on "how bad she was" with little or no answers for change.



ebony101 -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/19/2008 5:37:37 PM)

quote:

I still think it's strange she put the beans in your desk. I personally consider one's desk their personal space, and an invasion of privacy to have someone place something in it without their knowledge.




(Still being lightheated)

Yessss.(stroking chin with forefinger and thumb) Now that you mention it BugLady - it is strange that she put the beans in his desk. Now why would she do that? Why not rest it on top of your desk? Or even hand you the bowl in person? Hmmmm.

Ahhh! It seems to me that she was not giving you the opportunity to refuse the offering of the beans.

How long since you've consumed those beans ChoirDJ - an hour? Two hours? How are you feeling now?



ChoirDJ -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/19/2008 7:29:34 PM)

quote:

How long since you've consumed those beans ChoirDJ - an hour? Two hours? How are you feeling now?

It's been about 24 hours. I'm starting to see stars and feel light-headed (lol). I'm just kidding of course. She said she didn't want anybody else to know because she didn't bring enough for everybody else and didn't want them to get jealous.



Roberta_ -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/20/2008 12:21:42 AM)

I love to cook and have often made too much and taken it to work to share with my co-workers of both gender.



beachcooky -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/20/2008 12:24:14 AM)

I absolutely LOVE to cook & bake.
I wish I knew more recipes, but I'm still learning.
I love to make mexican lasagna!



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/23/2008 12:16:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BugLady

quote:

Honestly, I think you should've refused it.


I agree.

But since you're in it now. Be direct. Just as you explained yourself here. Tell her while you appreciate the thoughtful gesture, you don't understand what her intent was. It's made you uncomfortable, no? Tell her so. Perhaps ask if she does this sort of thing for others in the office or did she single you out for some reason. Get to the bottom of it, in other words.



quote:

ORIGINAL: BugLady

quote:

Just a couple of days ago, another woman at my job found out I like Curry Chicken so she offered to bring me some and that's the type of atmosphere I work in.


Had you provided this ^^ tidbit of info in your initial post you would have gotten different responses, I'm sure.

Not sure I agree that "we christians do this sometimes", though. I still think it's strange she put the beans in your desk. I personally consider one's desk their personal space, and an invasion of privacy to have someone place something in it without their knowledge. But if you're okay with it that's all that matters.



Fiddle, Mac.

Would you please stop quoting me before I even have the chance to post it?! [:D]


ChoirDJ, I very much agree with what Mac said in the above two quotes.

My initial question while I was reading your OP was why didn't she just bring you the food; why did she "hide" it?

And in your desk at that!

Violation of personal space and/or trying to be romantic about the food is what I see.
. . . Unless she's in some sort of competition - whether realized or not - with the woman who is bringing you curry . . . kinda the "chase for the thrill of it"



BugLady -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/23/2008 12:22:05 AM)

I love it when people agree with me! Especially the crazy toy lady! [:D]



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/23/2008 12:23:58 AM)

LOL!

[sm=icon_smile_tongue.gif]



ChoirDJ -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/23/2008 12:50:49 AM)

She got to work before I did and I just think she wanted to surprise me. I don't necessarily care so much for the "hiding it in my drawer" part but I think it was an innocent gesture.



crankius -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/23/2008 12:58:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
Violation of personal space and/or trying to be romantic about the food is what I see.
. . . Unless she's in some sort of competition - whether realized or not - with the woman who is bringing you curry . . . kinda the "chase for the thrill of it"


I find it kind of creepy, in a Misery sort of way.

Are you a writer? I sense the makings of a cooking/stalking romantic thriller. Many women in one office competing for your attentions, bringing you food, hiding it in your desk/car/briefcase, women luring you to the copy room for a bite of lasagna, and then the crazy lady cracks and drugs your food and you spend 6 months locked in her house, eating dish after dish and watching cooking shows, until one day you are saved by a pizza delivery boy.

[sm=tonguehappy.gif]

You'll have to think of a clever title, like Food Obsession or Cooked...



BugLady -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/23/2008 12:59:46 AM)

LOL!



ChoirDJ -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/23/2008 11:03:33 AM)

crankius...you got me busting stitches over that one[:D].



sudden -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/23/2008 2:05:42 PM)

Good Heavens ChoirDJ...it's just a little food. Why the fuss? If you don't care for beans and rice merely say so.

As for your discomfort with eating her food....I just don't get it at all. Do you eat fast food? in restaurants? in other people's homes? Do you think your co-worker is trying to poison you? [;)]

As far as her interest in you goes, you may be misreading things. I've only worked in a "cubicle" enfvironment once but it is isolating and there were quite a few people that walked around pencil and paper in hand on the premise of a business mission..but they just wanted a few moments of human contact.

I've had the good fortune to have co-workers who have shared food from home. I have also taken food into the office to share with my volunteeers and co-workers and I'd have been shocked if they'd thought I was trying to poison them.

So Choir what am I trying to say? Lighten up. If you don't care for her food you can merely say it was a new dish to you and not one that you are terribly keen on but you can warmly thank her for her thoughtfulness.

Sudden



ChoirDJ -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (7/23/2008 2:19:35 PM)

Sudden...I'll reiterate what I posted since making that initial post[:D].

quote:

Thanks for all the responses. The more I thought about your comments and the context of the situation, I came to the conclusion that it was not as out of the ordinary as it seemed at first. Just a couple of days ago, another woman at my job found out I like Curry Chicken so she offered to bring me some and that's the type of atmosphere I work in. I admit I got a little weird on this one (we christians can do this sometimes) and I pushed the panic button a little too soon. I'm going to be honest with you all on this follow up. I swallowed the beans and rice and now I'm swallowing my pride to confess (lol). Although I'm not necessarily a fan of beans, I have to admit those were some of the best beans.



Karaboo2 -> RE: To Eat or Not To Eat... (8/6/2008 6:44:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: crankius

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
Violation of personal space and/or trying to be romantic about the food is what I see.
. . . Unless she's in some sort of competition - whether realized or not - with the woman who is bringing you curry . . . kinda the "chase for the thrill of it"


I find it kind of creepy, in a Misery sort of way.

Are you a writer? I sense the makings of a cooking/stalking romantic thriller. Many women in one office competing for your attentions, bringing you food, hiding it in your desk/car/briefcase, women luring you to the copy room for a bite of lasagna, and then the crazy lady cracks and drugs your food and you spend 6 months locked in her house, eating dish after dish and watching cooking shows, until one day you are saved by a pizza delivery boy.

[sm=tonguehappy.gif]

You'll have to think of a clever title, like Food Obsession or Cooked...


Just beware of the basement stairs ....................



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