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RE: Engaged and living together - 7/15/2008 5:03:29 PM
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ChoirDJ
Posts: 473
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: So Cal
Status: offline
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quote:
Listen, legally, it actually looks worse if you are living with someone and you guys are not married if either one of you really wants to get custody of your children. Get a financial plan, consult your pastor, and get yourselves in a stronger position.The first thing the judge is going to say is that he wants to see more stability in every way...sorry sweetie, but that's the truth.
I'm sorry but I respectfully disagree. As a court mediator my primary responsibility is to make custody/visitation recommendations to the judges (when the parents don't reach an agreement) and 99% of the time, the judges go along with my recommendations. Whether or not two people cohabitating are married is a moral issue, not a legal one. Therefore, I have to consider many other factors in recommending who the children should llive with and when (and under what circumstances) they should be with the other parent.
Having said that, God is sovereign over any judge or mediator and He ultimately determines the outcome. God will bless the outcome if you do things in a godly way but you remove yourself from his protective hedge if you live in disobedience to His will.
_____________________________
"Sin will take you further than you intended to go, keep you there longer than you intended to stay, and cost you more than you intended to spend." Got it?
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RE: Engaged and living together - 7/15/2008 5:45:17 PM
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preserved
Posts: 752
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline
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In most cases the mother is usually awarded the childen unless there is proof of neglect (unfit) or abandonment. The court system looks for stabilty in the family.
You are engaged and living together as a newly christian. I am trying to figure out if you cannot afford to live separately, how can you afford to full custoday of the children which is going to cost to raise as well. If you needed a room to rent why did you choose your fianance to move in with? Or rather why did you make the move knowing you had no funds...or perhaps it was to move in with your fianance...Sorry you are correct...you are in a doozie....You are co-habiting as playing house...Pray that there is not intimacy ...God's Word says it is better to marry then to burn...
I acutally think that just going to the justice of the peace and getting married would help built stability.
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RE: Engaged and living together - 7/15/2008 7:22:00 PM
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Roberta_
Posts: 7000
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
Status: offline
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If I understand it correctly, he was not a Christian when he moved in with her.
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RE: Engaged and living together - 7/18/2008 7:29:52 PM
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preserved
Posts: 752
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DenimDiva
If I understand it correctly, he was not a Christian when he moved in with her.
He is a newly christian now and they are still living together...
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RE: Engaged and living together - 7/23/2008 4:40:00 PM
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edlove50
Posts: 41
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
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Everyone seems to have given you some good, sound christian based advice so I can't elaborate. I recommend you both find a same-sex roommate and move in with them quickly. Check with your young adult minister or any minister. They ought to know someone who is looking for a roommate. There may even be a elderly couple needing someone to rent a room to help out with expenses. The temptations are too great when you live with another woman and vice versa. I know devout christians who have been known to fall in this temptation. As far as the courts - due to the moral decay of our judicial system, they might not look so negatively at your situation being bad for your kids as they might have at one time. God bless you.
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RE: Engaged and living together - 7/27/2008 8:12:41 AM
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saintBYgrace
Posts: 1
Joined: 7/27/2008
Status: offline
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MENU4EVR,
I will keep both of you in my prayers,brother. Life is hard enough the way it is and I am sorry that you are going through so much at once. I DO however hope that you see that there is NOTHING to big for God. Does this mean that we will walk through our situation with no pain or suffering? No, sir, we know that will happen...LOL. But we also are to go to one another and support each other in these times. So with that being said, my prayers are with you and yours.
I know that when the dark times appear over us it is hard to see the light or the end of the storm, if you will. But not only do you have God on your side, you also have the love of your life there as well and hope you both do not take another breath without knowing and understanding just how special that is in itself. As for what goes on behind closed doors? You seem well grounded on faith about what is right and wrong and I am for sure you and your fiance can go together before God and work things out. Does it mean that it might "hurt" a little? It can. But it also means that if you listen to God, you are going to get the best.
May I ask you two questions, sir? One I know the answer to but the other I would like for you and your fiance to think about. 1)Do you believe in God? (easy one, right?) 2)Do you believe God? Ouch! This is where it can hurt and make you stand back and say, "Hmmmmm.". See, for me I have just went through a storm in my life and while I am trying to grow closer to Him, I came upon these two questions. Yes, the first one was a no brainer. But did you know that even demons believe in God? Satan believe in God and knows what is going to happen to him in the end. BUT sit down with yourself (and your fiance) and ask, do I believe God? It rocked my world and I SO wanted to say of course I believe God. I know He loves me, I love Him, and He will never leave me nor forsake me. But what happened in my case is that when hard times hit (or not so hard times), I would find myself going back to my old ways. Hours cut at work? It was against me and I should do something about it. Passed on a promotion? How could they pass ME up? Single? How can THAT person find someone and I still be single? Ok, hope you get the picture and it all came back to...do I believe in God? Yes, I believe in God. And then...do I believe God? Not some of the time, not almost all of the time, but do I believe God?
Since the last weekend of June,2008, my life changed. I am still human and fall, but I am also trying hard to walk in faith. 2 Corinthians 5:7 says, "for we walk by faith, not by sight-". Me? I want to see how I am changing, I want to see God working, I want to see my life going from old to new (yea, I know, I know, that is part of see myself changing, but work with me here). And sometimes we will see these things (and sometimes we are to busy to see them because of our view) but we walk by faith, not by sight. Another source of strength I came upon is that of Isaih 41:10: DO not fear, for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about for I am your God. I will strengthin you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with my rightous right hand." Hmmm, Do NOT what? Fear. DO NOT what? Anxiously look about you? Hmmm, do I believe in God? Yes, sir, I do. Do I believe God? I am learning. In a nut shell, I believe in God AND believe God when things are going my way. But when just one small step makes me stumble, I shake like a leaf on a tree...LOL. And I think just like you and your fiance, I want to be the tree rather than the leaf.
I am sorry I do not have any all knowing, all powerful answers to provide you for your hurts, wants, or needs in this time of reaching out. But I hope that you can find some comfort in these words as I did, for they come from our God and they speak true today as they ever have. My heart goes out to the both of you and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. May you find Him in all that you do and in all that you "see".
God bless and keep faith;
-John-
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RE: Engaged and living together - 7/30/2008 10:51:45 PM
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joeysei
Posts: 13
Joined: 7/8/2008
Status: offline
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The bible does say "to avoid the appearence of evil".
_____________________________
Does the Devil cringe when you roll up out of bed?!?!?
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