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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/15/2009 6:34:23 PM
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pink..
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((((Maggie)))) I think what you're going through is normal. You were suddenly thrown into a very bright spot light that no one every wants or plans to be in. Your son's passing was more emotionally painful for you than most of us want to imagine. On top of that you, your dh and your other sons became the uncomfortable focal point.
Someone else in this thread said that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. I agree with that very much.
You are still in my prayers.
[edited by moderator to remove name]
< Message edited by Ps103 -- 11/15/2009 8:19:33 PM >
_____________________________
Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.
~ John Henry Jowett
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/15/2009 7:48:51 PM
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magdaleine
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quote:
Dr. Kirk Neely, suffered a time of faith testing when his young adult son Erik died, he asked God, "Why?" Then one day on the beach, in an encounter with the Living God, his Heavenly Father told him to stop asking "Why?" and begin asking "What next?" I've already been asking that, Ginny. I see some exciting things ahead. I know there is something really cool and awesome up the road a ways.
quote:
((((Maggie)))) I think what you're going through is normal. You were suddenly thrown into a very bright spot light that no one every wants or plans to be in. Ds3's passing was more emotionally painful for you than most of us want to imagine. On top of that you, your dh and your other sons became the uncomfortable focal point. Emotionally, I'm doing fine. Physically, I'm not doing well but it's just exhaustion because I pulled every speck of energy in me and more to do all I had to and wanted to do. I'm not sure what you mean by that last sentence. Did I say they had become an uncomfortable focal point? What have I said that led you to think so?
Thank you, everyone, for your prayers and love.
_____________________________
Maggie
Magdaleine's Maddening Imagings
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/15/2009 11:20:34 PM
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Bountiful
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It's so good to hear from you. Can only imagine how exhausted you are. Doubt you got much sleep last week.
The eulogy was beautiful, Maggie. So glad you were able to get through reading it yourself.
I praise God for sustaining you as only He can.
(((((Maggie)))))
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/15/2009 11:40:37 PM
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cherish405
Posts: 30974
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From: The Land Down Under
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Maggie, I'm not surprised you're feeling so weak after all that's happened this last week. Can't imagine what that was like.
You take all the time you need to recover and grieve. We'll be here waiting when you get back.
You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
(((((((((((((((((MAGGIE & FAMILY)))))))))))))))))))))))
_____________________________
From this time forth, with the powers vested in me, this post serves as public notice of the issuance of one unrevocable lisence to cherish405 to have special dispensation in the matter of drive-by huggings as she sees fit. ~rayofson~
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/16/2009 2:44:18 AM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4923
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Thank you!
I'm actually downstairs. I should be sleeping but somehow I can't sleep. I soaked in the tub for a while and then came down here to look for something sweet to eat. It looks like someone brought a box of yummy chocolates today and they're all eaten! I didn't get one! I know I can't have chocolate but sometimes I'll sneak in a bite if it's early enough in the morning. I did find some shortbread and some miniature puff pastry. I've written things in the prayer thread that Iwillseekhim started for me last week that I haven't posted here. Thought I would let you know.
It was mostly extended family here today. I stayed in bed all day--for most of the day I needed help to get out of bed and to the washroom--but sometime in the evening everyone came up to hang out. My sis4 and dh's bro3 haven't seen each other for a very, very long time. The way they were all teasing each other reminded me of the time around my wedding and the year or two that bro3 lived with us in the early years. The decided we need a group photo and so I got propped up in bed and everyone clustered around me. Because everyone needed to be in the photo, they had to do time release but how to do that when the angle of the camera had to be awkward and high up? Ds2 creatively put a blanket on the bookshelf on the wall and leaned his camera at an angle. It was fun, even though I was in my nightgown. Somehow it didn't matter. Nor did it matter that our bedroom is a disaster. It was all so much fun.
Dh is still having a hard time. Ds3's psychiatrist has asked the family to come see him tomorrow. Dh has agreed, so I'm going to ask him if he would take dh on as a patient. Ds3's proctologist told dh today that the psychiatrist is highly respected. That was reassuring.
If there is anyone here who hasn't seen the eulogy and other things about ds3 but would like to, send me a pm. Also, I told the folks in the prayer thread that if they want the same, but I don't know them, if they know one of you, and you know they're "safe," you can ask for the URL on their behalf--or give it to them if you already know it.
Dh's boss is coming over tomorrow. I hope I'm well enough to visit. I will have to be sure to save energy for the visit to the psychiatrist.
We've had some incredible things said to us over the past two days. I'm still amazed too at the crowd of people who came. The sanctuary is very, very wide but not too deep. There were six or more rows of people standing the entire width of the church and down the hallway. They were packed like sardines--a very moving sight. They were like a wall of protection and love; like an army in tight quarters forming a phalanx around us; like a silent crowd of protesters standing before us in strength.
My house is shiny and clean (except for the bedrooms). I'm surrounded by a good dozen and a half or more of beautiful bouquets of flowers.
Good night, my friends. God be with you.
_____________________________
Maggie
Magdaleine's Maddening Imagings
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/16/2009 8:03:03 AM
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stamper_ben
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Rest well Maggie.
_____________________________
In 20 years from now, you’ll be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Explore. Dream. Discover
Mark Twain
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/16/2009 10:21:35 AM
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cherish405
Posts: 30974
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What a way to be shown that you are loved? That's awesome.
Rest well, Maggie.
_____________________________
From this time forth, with the powers vested in me, this post serves as public notice of the issuance of one unrevocable lisence to cherish405 to have special dispensation in the matter of drive-by huggings as she sees fit. ~rayofson~
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/16/2009 10:30:11 AM
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momma_bee
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Maggie - I remember talking to you about sewing a bag for one of the boys who was biking somewhere (across Canada) and I was making suggestions and you had to explain how many layers you were sewing through...Was that for DS3 or one of your other boys?
[edited by moderator]
< Message edited by Ps103 -- 11/17/2009 2:19:07 AM >
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/16/2009 10:32:27 AM
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anne-girl
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(((((Maggie and family)))))
I hope you're feeling physically better soon, and I'm glad you're surrounded by family who can support you through this.
Still praying.
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/16/2009 10:51:34 AM
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Bubbles5
Posts: 698
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Still in my thoughts and prayers!
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Me and my husband
Just married 31 years ago
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/16/2009 11:31:13 PM
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Bountiful
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Praying that you'll be able to sleep tonight and have enough strength for the meeting tomorrow with Ds3's psychiatrist.
(((((Maggie)))))
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/17/2009 2:15:21 AM
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Ps103
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Let me poke my nose in here just to remind people not to use the real names of people or their relatives on forums unless you have specific permission to do so.
I have changed a couple of posts that inadvertently shared 3rd party info. We know it wasn't intentional--just be careful.
Thanks!
_____________________________
Fasten your seatbelts...it's going to be a bumpy night.
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/17/2009 2:16:22 AM
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magdaleine
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Hi everyone! Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.
Sharon, I so enjoyed our visit two summers ago. I'm glad my Dh got to meet your Dh.
Yes, MBee, that was ds3 who sewed the bags.
Edith, we saw the psychiatrist today. It was basically a debriefing time. We ran out of time so we're going to book another appointment. Ds1 and I assured him that we do not blame him.
When we came out of the doctor's we found our cars towed away. We parked on a main thoroughfare during rush hour. Our brains are fried and we weren't thinking. My mom is going to try to fight it for us and see if we can get our money back.
Edited by mod, TOS 7
< Message edited by Kath -- 11/17/2009 12:38:15 PM >
_____________________________
Maggie
Magdaleine's Maddening Imagings
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/17/2009 6:59:16 AM
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momma_bee
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So, if I wasn't nudged, does that mean I was mod-tapped? Mod-poked? What is less than a nudge?
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/17/2009 12:09:51 PM
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vmginny
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Still thinking of you Maggie. Hang in there.
Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing
_____________________________
Mark 10:27
Looking at them, Jesus *said, “ With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.”
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/18/2009 12:03:53 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4923
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Victim Services from the police department contacted us yesterday and they were able to reverse the charges we incurred. Dh said they were very, very kind and helpful. We just found out today that Social Assistance will pay the funeral costs. This will help reduce dh's stress. No, we haven't asked the psychiatrist yet if he will take on dh. I thought it better to wait till the next visit. Ds4 left last night. I couldn't handle the airport so I said good-bye here at home and then went to small group, which was good. Dh's brother left the day before and my one sister left the same day as the funeral. My other sister leaves tomorrow. Then we will be on our own (except for ds2's girlfriend who leaves on Tuesday, but she hasn't really been a help to anyone but ds2). Dh seems to be doing okay right now. He's doing what he does best--making necessary phone calls and arrangements with bank, etc. Everyone is so nice. I guess that if they're not, they don't last long in jobs that involve working with the bereaved.
We've had beautiful weather--a bit windy and around the freezing point but the skies have been clear and we don't have snow yet. I'm able to get around with just a sweater and sometimes I don't even need that.
The biggest thing for me right now is exhaustion. I slept very well last night but I had to push myself to get up. Same with yesterday. Tonight there is a concert and one of the pieces is going to be dedicated to ds3. I'm not going to go but dh would like to and my sister, at least, will go with him.
_____________________________
Maggie
Magdaleine's Maddening Imagings
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/18/2009 5:00:54 PM
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vmginny
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quote:
The biggest thing for me right now is exhaustion. That's to be expected after all you have gone through. Take it easy.
_____________________________
Mark 10:27
Looking at them, Jesus *said, “ With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.”
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/18/2009 11:07:21 PM
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Bountiful
Posts: 891
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quote:
ORIGINAL: vmginny
quote:
The biggest thing for me right now is exhaustion. That's to be expected after all you have gone through. Take it easy.
I fully agree. Get all the rest you can.
Glad things turned out with the towing charges and the assistance respecting funeral costs.
Ds2's girlfriend is there until Nov. 24th??? That seems a bit much (and a little inconsiderate).
Praying for you all.
(((((Maggie)))))
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/19/2009 1:30:23 AM
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magdaleine
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I agree that it's a bit much and inconsiderate. Ds2 didn't ask or inform us. I found out when I overheard him telling someone else. I'm glad he didn't decide to have her stay here until we leave for Vancouver in December. He and I need to have a talk but I need to be careful about what I say and I guess I'm waiting until it seems an appropriate time. I'm really hoping that he sees the contrast between her and ds4's fiancée and see that this girl simply isn't the right one for him. On the other hand, maybe she is and I'm just blind. All I can do is trust God with this and know that all things work together for good for those who love God.
Ginny, thanks for your encouragement.
I napped for four hours this evening but I'm still tired.
The students at the school my mom used to be principal of each created a card for us. We just got them today--made of construction paper and each with some words from the heart, not just a canned condolence from the teacher. I was impressed with that. The kids also included Bible verses. We divided them up between Mom and us.
Did I say I'm tired? This is crazy!
We said goodbye to my sister tonight. She returns home early tomorrow morning. She's been a big blessing and she hasn't lost her childhood cuteness, even though she's nearly 47. Oh the diapers I changed and washed and folded for her when she was a baby!
_____________________________
Maggie
Magdaleine's Maddening Imagings
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/19/2009 2:24:27 AM
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vmginny
Posts: 1503
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quote:
Oh the diapers I changed and washed and folded for her when she was a baby! I bet you remind her of that too.
Glad to see you posting Maggie and thanks for your appreciation of my encouragement. I've been trying to encourage.
_____________________________
Mark 10:27
Looking at them, Jesus *said, “ With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.”
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/19/2009 3:55:40 AM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4923
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Actually, I very rarely mention it, if at all.
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Maggie
Magdaleine's Maddening Imagings
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/19/2009 8:52:59 AM
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vmginny
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quote:
Actually, I very rarely mention it, if at all. I said that because our oldest reminds our youngest that he changed his diapers.
Thanks for the chat last night Maggie. It was good to talk with you.
_____________________________
Mark 10:27
Looking at them, Jesus *said, “ With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.”
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 11/19/2009 10:07:51 AM
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anne-girl
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I would guess that you're going to feel very tired, off and on, for the next few weeks. I think the key is to let yourself feel what you need to feel, and not think you should reach a certain level of normalcy at any given time.
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