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[Poll]
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First date insecurities?
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| “I’m not his/her type.” |
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| “I’m afraid I'm going to do something stupid.” |
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| “What if I have to let this person down eventually?” |
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| “I’ll accidentally offend my date.” |
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| “I’m terrible at small talk.” |
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| “Ending the date is so awkward.” |
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| Other (explain below) |
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| None. I'm flawless and have no insecurities |
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Total Votes : 64
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(last vote on : 9/3/2008 10:31:19 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/24/2008 10:32:28 AM
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John_O
Posts: 8030
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PrincessGiselle
My insecurities are pretty much like everyone else's. They won't like me as much, I'll embarrass myself (which I have...more to come), stuff like that.
I think I have become more relaxed though and tried not to stress as much about it. I always try to look at it like, "Well, if it doesn't work out we can still be friends!" apparently it worked TOO well because I have a LOT of guy friends. *grin*
As for embarrassing myself...hmmm...I have spilled red wine on a date, choked on something once and had such a severe coughing fit I had to excuse myself and go throw up in the bathroom, ran into an ex-boyfriend and have him say, "Oh man! Let me tell you what you're getting yourself into!" and once Thing 1 called so many times I ended up having to turn my phone off. 
This is a great thread Michelle! *beams*
I love hearing bad date stories.
First is shows that dates really do happen, and then it shows that you are learning how to handle the obstacles in the process
After enough bad date stories you can't help but start having good date stories.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/24/2008 11:50:57 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8030
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PrincessGiselle
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: PrincessGiselle
My insecurities are pretty much like everyone else's. They won't like me as much, I'll embarrass myself (which I have...more to come), stuff like that.
I think I have become more relaxed though and tried not to stress as much about it. I always try to look at it like, "Well, if it doesn't work out we can still be friends!" apparently it worked TOO well because I have a LOT of guy friends. *grin*
As for embarrassing myself...hmmm...I have spilled red wine on a date, choked on something once and had such a severe coughing fit I had to excuse myself and go throw up in the bathroom, ran into an ex-boyfriend and have him say, "Oh man! Let me tell you what you're getting yourself into!" and once Thing 1 called so many times I ended up having to turn my phone off.
This is a great thread Michelle! *beams*
I love hearing bad date stories.
First is shows that dates really do happen, and then it shows that you are learning how to handle the obstacles in the process
After enough bad date stories you can't help but start having good date stories.
Oh boy. Then pull up a chair and stay a while because I have a few doozies.
Probably my favourite was the night I was taken to a steak house. I love steak and didn't think anything of it and ordered one. He ordered the veggie platter. When I frowned about it he said, "I don't eat anything with a face." Ummm...okay? So I kind of picked at my salad and potato while we talked. I did take my steak home in a doggy bag and enjoyed every last morsel of it. *grin*
I would have had the waitress bring me a box to go and said. OK lets go home as we are incurably incompatible. (If God didn't intend for us to eat animals then why are they made out of meat?)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/24/2008 11:53:31 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 7668
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: PrincessGiselle
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: PrincessGiselle
My insecurities are pretty much like everyone else's. They won't like me as much, I'll embarrass myself (which I have...more to come), stuff like that.
I think I have become more relaxed though and tried not to stress as much about it. I always try to look at it like, "Well, if it doesn't work out we can still be friends!" apparently it worked TOO well because I have a LOT of guy friends. *grin*
As for embarrassing myself...hmmm...I have spilled red wine on a date, choked on something once and had such a severe coughing fit I had to excuse myself and go throw up in the bathroom, ran into an ex-boyfriend and have him say, "Oh man! Let me tell you what you're getting yourself into!" and once Thing 1 called so many times I ended up having to turn my phone off.
This is a great thread Michelle! *beams*
I love hearing bad date stories.
First is shows that dates really do happen, and then it shows that you are learning how to handle the obstacles in the process
After enough bad date stories you can't help but start having good date stories.
Oh boy. Then pull up a chair and stay a while because I have a few doozies.
Probably my favourite was the night I was taken to a steak house. I love steak and didn't think anything of it and ordered one. He ordered the veggie platter. When I frowned about it he said, "I don't eat anything with a face." Ummm...okay? So I kind of picked at my salad and potato while we talked. I did take my steak home in a doggy bag and enjoyed every last morsel of it. *grin*
I would have had the waitress bring me a box to go and said. OK lets go home as we are incurably incompatible. (If God didn't intend for us to eat animals then why are they made out of meat?)
I was a shy, demure, young woman at the time. Such a scandal would have never crossed my mind.  Now? Pffft...
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/25/2008 12:10:34 AM
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John_O
Posts: 8030
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PrincessGiselle
I was a shy, demure, young woman at the time. Such a scandal would have never crossed my mind. Now? Pffft...
There's the problem. I would never have pegged you as shy.
(Just like no one would ever expect me to NOT speak my mind)
And while I'm at it. "I don't eat anything with a face" is one of those lines that screams out "I'm a raving insane moonbat" to me.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/25/2008 12:01:29 PM
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Pauley464
Posts: 526
Joined: 7/29/2007
From: Washington, Indiana
Status: offline
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[The biggest insecurities I have going into a first date is "Am I going to say or do something stupid?", "Am I her type?" and "Will she be like all the others and tell me I'm too nice?"
I've had so many bad experiences that I am terrified of new ones.
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There is nothing so important that it can't be put off until tomorrow.
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/25/2008 4:11:48 PM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4442
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
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......... I'm done with insecurities.
There is no possible way on this earth I will ever measure up to a majority of anybody's 'list'....
I just gotta be me.....
If the guy likes me... he likes me... if not.... too bad for him!
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/25/2008 9:03:31 PM
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utilityfielder
Posts: 12352
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Home of the Champions
Status: offline
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My biggest insecurity is I have a speech problem, I stutter sometimes. This makes me self conscious with people sometimes.
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Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement. Ronald Reagan
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/25/2008 9:15:34 PM
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ebony101
Posts: 932
Joined: 4/1/2007
From: the big blue marble
Status: online
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utilityfielder, I stutter sometimes too, but it happens when I can't find the words I need to express myself. I'm conscious of this. So if I find myself stuttering, I pause, take a deep breath, think of what I want to say and proceed to speak very slowly.
I've learned to control it instead of feeling bad about it. What do you do?
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'We're writing a gospel, a chapter each day,
By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/25/2008 9:31:36 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 6512
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline
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I do this, too. For me it helps to stop, take a breath, refocus, and, when necessary, request the sympathies of the offended party.  Admitting insecurities tends to add a touch of humanness to our character. Saying, "sorry, my thoughts got ahead of my tongue", even when *that* comes out sounding stupid (not that I know this from personal experience ), draws people towards you. 
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/26/2008 8:18:25 AM
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dinomax55
Posts: 249
Joined: 6/22/2007
From: O-H-I-O
Status: offline
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To be honest, my only insecurity at this point is that she'll be a waste of my time. Now that I'm a little older, and have been on a few first dates, I don't worry about myself anymore. I see it for what it is- an opportunity to get to know someone. I am confident enough in myself not to worry about small talk, slipping on a banana peel, etc., because I know that there will be insecurities and mistakes on both sides. It's best to just engage in the moment and the person sitting across from you. If you or the other person messes up, so what? learn to laugh at it.
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We can never achieve perfection.. but if we chase perfection we will catch excellence.
-Vince Lombardi
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/26/2008 8:22:32 AM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 7668
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline
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I haven't been on a first date in a LONG time. I tend to just find myself with people I normally hang around with. *shrug*
I hope that I don't take myself too seriously or stress over things. That's not my nature anyway so why make it that way on a first impression?
I do know though, that if I come across another man who doesn't eat anything with a face, John O's words of wisdom (insert HUGE eye roll here. *grin*) will come to mind and I'll be packing my tender, juicy steak up so fast that his head will spin. LOLOL!!!
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/26/2008 8:49:40 AM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4442
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: trainfan
I also have a hard time coming up with things to ask my date so I tend to ramble while stumbling over words. 
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........ I was blessed with a chatter mouth! 
.... but I'm also comfortable with silence. (The silence part took practice ) Sometimes the other person needs a little bit of silence in order to gather their thoughts... sometimes silence is very romantic.... 
Every minute of the date doesn't have to be filled with words....
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So what I'm reading is that most people feel insecure because they are worried about what the other person thinks? It seems people are worried about acceptance or rejection from the other person.
Would this signify that maybe we, as Christians, place too much value on what others think instead of getting our validation from Christ?
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/26/2008 11:04:54 AM
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Pauley464
Posts: 526
Joined: 7/29/2007
From: Washington, Indiana
Status: offline
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I believe that all it shows is that even being Christians, we're still human afterall.
_____________________________
There is nothing so important that it can't be put off until tomorrow.
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/26/2008 12:12:59 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8030
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Pauley464
I believe that all it shows is that even being Christians, we're still human afterall.
This is true.
One thing that I think most of us forget is that the other person is just as nervous (terrified) as we are in most cases.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/26/2008 12:29:57 PM
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FunBetty
Posts: 7175
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Dr Pepper Country
Status: online
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My biggest insecurity is incompatibility...which I know is silly because it takes time to determine that.
But a lot of my "recent" dates have been with people I was friends with first....so the romantic compatibility is the biggest fear...
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Fun Betty's Therapy Centre and Cheesecake and Cookie Shoppe
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/26/2008 2:35:41 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8030
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: FunBetty
My biggest insecurity is incompatibility...which I know is silly because it takes time to determine that.
But a lot of my "recent" dates have been with people I was friends with first....so the romantic compatibility is the biggest fear...
I'm assuming that the romantic compatibility issue was neevr overcome. After all if you were romantically compatible you probably wouldn't have been friends first. (tee hee)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/26/2008 4:07:26 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 6512
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dinomax55
To be honest, my only insecurity at this point is that she'll be a waste of my time. Now that I'm a little older, and have been on a few first dates, I don't worry about myself anymore. I see it for what it is- an opportunity to get to know someone. I am confident enough in myself not to worry about small talk, slipping on a banana peel, etc., because I know that there will be insecurities and mistakes on both sides. It's best to just engage in the moment and the person sitting across from you. If you or the other person messes up, so what? learn to laugh at it.
Dinomax, what do you mean by this statement? Can you clarify?
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/26/2008 4:33:38 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8030
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy
quote:
ORIGINAL: dinomax55
To be honest, my only insecurity at this point is that she'll be a waste of my time. Now that I'm a little older, and have been on a few first dates, I don't worry about myself anymore. I see it for what it is- an opportunity to get to know someone. I am confident enough in myself not to worry about small talk, slipping on a banana peel, etc., because I know that there will be insecurities and mistakes on both sides. It's best to just engage in the moment and the person sitting across from you. If you or the other person messes up, so what? learn to laugh at it.
Dinomax, what do you mean by this statement? Can you clarify?
Not wanting to put words in dino's mouth But I'd guess that he'd hate to get to the date and find that she is nothing like what he was expecting and isn't anywhere near being good potential. If you're looking for a wife it's a total waste of time to be on a date with someone you'd never even think of proposing to.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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) 
(Although I was realllly close to both of us overcoming that obstacle with one of them... but it just wasn't meant to be)