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[Poll]
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First date insecurities?
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| “I’m not his/her type.” |
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| “I’m afraid I'm going to do something stupid.” |
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| “What if I have to let this person down eventually?” |
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| “I’ll accidentally offend my date.” |
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| “I’m terrible at small talk.” |
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| “Ending the date is so awkward.” |
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| Other (explain below) |
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| None. I'm flawless and have no insecurities |
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Total Votes : 64
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(last vote on : 9/3/2008 10:31:19 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/23/2008 7:57:52 PM
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collie1
Posts: 664
Joined: 3/5/2007
From: The Place to Go: Idaho!!
Status: offline
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My biggest fear is saying something really stupid, in any situation. I am known for that. In a dating situation, especially a blind date which I have never been on, it would be like my worst nigtmare coming true.
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/23/2008 8:08:03 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 6512
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline
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Hey, Collie! I've had that fear before, and have said some stupid things, too. Well, I thought they sounded stupid. Then I would get all flustered and things would go downhill from there. Eventually, I had to learn to relax and just be myself. Usually, my perceptions were all wrong and they didn't think anything of it. But if they thought something sounded stupid, that was their problem.
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/23/2008 8:57:49 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8030
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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I think I'd rather have a first date at the museum or at the zoo.
I'm interested in finances as much as the next guy but having the first date in securities sounds kind of boring. What would you do for the second date? Trade futures?
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/23/2008 9:08:17 PM
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LabGuy
Posts: 3350
Joined: 9/22/2007
From: NW Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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I don't see an option for mind-numbing terror... ?
Disclaimer: Poster has essentially zero experience in this area, so this is kinda hypothetical. Maybe. Sorta?
I'd have to pick multiple options (can you do that?) Probably covered under "Not their type" would be the concern that there really isn't any interest and you're just being humored. (That sums up the one or two dates - depending on how you count - that I've ever had in my life quite nicely.)
I think we all fear doing something stupid, and thereby killing any interest there might have been.
Being terrible at small talk - check.
Worrying about letting the person down? I dunno if that's so much of a first date insecurity as more of a "relationship anxiety". My fervent prayer is that if God ever does bless me with a relationship, that I do not hurt her in any way, shape, or form.
Now all I need is a date to be insecure about...
-Robb
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/23/2008 9:15:39 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 6512
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LabGuy
I don't see an option for mind-numbing terror... ?
Disclaimer: Poster has essentially zero experience in this area, so this is kinda hypothetical. Maybe. Sorta?
I'd have to pick multiple options (can you do that?) Probably covered under "Not their type" would be the concern that there really isn't any interest and you're just being humored. (That sums up the one or two dates - depending on how you count - that I've ever had in my life quite nicely.)
I think we all fear doing something stupid, and thereby killing any interest there might have been.
Being terrible at small talk - check.
Worrying about letting the person down? I dunno if that's so much of a first date insecurity as more of a "relationship anxiety". My fervent prayer is that if God ever does bless me with a relationship, that I do not hurt her in any way, shape, or form.
Now all I need is a date to be insecure about...
-Robb
Yes, you can choose multiple selections.
Oh, the worst kind of date is a "pity date". That should be up there too, shouldn't it??
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/23/2008 9:18:38 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8030
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy
Oh, the worst kind of date is a "pity date". That should be up there too, shouldn't it??
I've always wondered how people get so evil as to do pity dates. Like it's not bad enough that I can't get a date now you have to rub my nose in it?!
I really can't stand lying in a relationship (or any other time for that matter) and any date where there's not interest, is lying.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/23/2008 9:23:40 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3877
Joined: 3/30/2007
Status: offline
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Great idea for a thread, Michelle!
And excellent financial puns!
I have two insecurities although I don't really think of them them as insecurities, per se, but rather as potential hinderences.
1. I'm not great at small talk. It takes a while for me to open up to people that I don't know really well, and my lack of small talk expertise compounds this difficulty. I'm a great listener, though, and am learning how to ask questions better.
2. Whether I'm comfortable with someone or not, I often drift into Shemaland. It's a place that I love, but I sometimes don't realize that I'm there. It might present a problem when someone doesn't know me well. My time in Shemaland might make them think that I'm not having a good time or am not interested in getting to know them.
_____________________________
"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/23/2008 9:38:59 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 6512
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: shemaromans
Great idea for a thread, Michelle!
And excellent financial puns!
I have two insecurities although I don't really think of them them as insecurities, per se, but rather as potential hinderences.
1. I'm not great at small talk. It takes a while for me to open up to people that I don't know really well, and my lack of small talk expertise compounds this difficulty. I'm a great listener, though, and am learning how to ask questions better.
2. Whether I'm comfortable with someone or not, I often drift into Shemaland. It's a place that I love, but I sometimes don't realize that I'm there. It might present a problem when someone doesn't know me well. My time in Shemaland might make them think that I'm not having a good time or am not interested in getting to know them.
Hey, Shema. First of all, I don't see where you're lacking at small-talk. You do a fine job communicating here.
"Shemaland" - cute! 
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/23/2008 9:49:06 PM
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utilityfielder
Posts: 12352
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Home of the Champions
Status: offline
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quote:
1. I'm not great at small talk. It takes a while for me to open up to people that I don't know really well, and my lack of small talk expertise compounds this difficulty. I'm a great listener, though, and am learning how to ask questions better.
I am the same way. Talking to someone I don't know is very difficult.
_____________________________
Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement. Ronald Reagan
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/23/2008 9:56:14 PM
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LabGuy
Posts: 3350
Joined: 9/22/2007
From: NW Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy
Oh, the worst kind of date is a "pity date". That should be up there too, shouldn't it??
I've always wondered how people get so evil as to do pity dates. Like it's not bad enough that I can't get a date now you have to rub my nose in it?!
I really can't stand lying in a relationship (or any other time for that matter) and any date where there's not interest, is lying.
Well, in my case I wouldn't ascribe malicious intent to either girl. The first one is questionable as to whether it was even a date. I was in high school and even more clueless than I am now, so I wasn't real clear about the whole thing to her. Hence my uncertainty as to whether you would say I've been on one or two dates.
The other one I think was just taken by surprise and just felt awkward about it and didn't know how to say no. I was probably just an idiot to even ask.
-Robb
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/23/2008 9:57:19 PM
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LabGuy
Posts: 3350
Joined: 9/22/2007
From: NW Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: utilityfielder
quote:
1. I'm not great at small talk. It takes a while for me to open up to people that I don't know really well, and my lack of small talk expertise compounds this difficulty. I'm a great listener, though, and am learning how to ask questions better.
I am the same way. Talking to someone I don't know is very difficult.
I'll third that. Which is why I don't think I could ever do a blind date sort of thing.
-Robb
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/23/2008 10:03:27 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3877
Joined: 3/30/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy
Hey, Shema. First of all, I don't see where you're lacking at small-talk. You do a fine job communicating here.
"Shemaland" - cute!
Thanks, Michelle, but I'm much more talktive here now than I was when I first joined.
Shemaland's a very real place!
_____________________________
"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/23/2008 10:04:42 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 18135
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
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My biggest fear is getting that date in the first place.
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/23/2008 10:09:07 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 6512
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
My biggest fear is getting that date in the first place.
Is this like a fear of success? Like "wow, I got the date. Now what do I do if she likes me?"
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/23/2008 10:10:26 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 18135
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy
quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
My biggest fear is getting that date in the first place.
Is this like a fear of success? Like "wow, I got the date. Now what do I do if she likes me?"
Hmmmm, I do not know!
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RE: First date insecurities? - 3/23/2008 10:15:22 PM
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AdrianaS
Posts: 1224
Joined: 3/21/2007
Status: offline
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My problem I think is commom to anyone who is not speaking their mother tongue and have not profeciency in the language, trying to communicate with...dont know what happens with people listen to a foreigner speaking broke that they start to talk as they do with kids very very slow or start to make faces to understand sometimes as they are not used to listen their languages spoken in broken ways..or they may speak louder..yep.
Most people do understand me and sure at first they have to get used with my tempo, melody and they way I express in English. But even in my mother tongue Iam creative when I speak and funny too.
Iam a conversacionalist big time and I never forget a friend when we first meet and etc without thinking told me: "you think, you thin. I like that" LOL its funny because many people have ideia about things and they get surprise is not so. Its funny because even speaking broke etc I end up making friendship with educated people or very informed interesting ones. As another even insisted me to study some stuff very difficult to my level in understanding but he was English and an educator etc
I do have now a natural radar for people who are open to internationals and the ones who are not and when I observe and see the reception towards my expressing being positive and interested I just keep expressing and we have grea exchanges.
The opposite feedback is like a wall, we both cut short and that is it.
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Yep, I'm a master at this. 
Hmm, did I go off topic - Sorry, I've got a lot on my mind right now. 
