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I want my life back. - 12/30/2007 8:32:19 PM
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JCMK
Posts: 119
Joined: 12/30/2007
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I’ll try to make a long story short. My ex-husband and I were married 42 years. We are both 60. The last few years have been very rough as I had cancer, and then became disabled and had to quit work and go on disability. I know that it isn’t easy to live with a sick person. However, 1-1/2 years ago I stumbled across email between him and a younger woman (40). They were obviously having a relationship. He left and we got divorced. They are now living together in sin. He seems very happy. He has a new truck and motorcycle and no troubles or worries.
I was hurt beyond words can describe. Our children are grown and have children of their own. They live just far enough away to make it difficult to see them very often. They were hurt also. I’m sure that they have tried to support me, and yet deal with their own hurt and bewilderment. Time goes by and their lives are busy.
My life centered around him and Church. Our lives consisted of going to Church, socializing with our Church family and friends, being with our children and grandchildren when we were able to, attending Gospel concerts, a little bit of traveling, and our home. We had plans for our retirement that we were both looking forward to.
Now it’s all gone. For 15 months I have prayed, fasted, begged God, pleaded with God, promised God everything, sat in the dark many evenings, lost sleep, couldn’t eat, and cried until I thought I couldn’t possibly cry anymore. My heart hurt – they say that the heart has no nerve endings, but it does. My heart hurt physically. Sometimes the grief was so bad that I felt like there was a ton of bricks on my chest and I couldn’t breathe. I talked to him in person, I emailed him scriptures, I talked to him on the phone, and I even left him alone for weeks at a time hoping that he would miss me. Nothing changed his mind.
I go to church and sit and cry. I look at the seat where we always sat together – sometimes holding hands on the seat between us – and it hurts so much. I can’t go eat out with our Church friends anymore. I’m always a 5th wheel. The Holidays were torture. My friends were “our” friends. They have tried to be supportive, but they are also very surprised, hurt and bewildered.
I sit here at home unable to go anywhere very much because of my disability. Sometimes I will sit here a whole week and the only person that I see is the mailman. I can’t seem to get ahold of anything to live for. I see no meaning to my life. I can’t grasp or comprehend that I have a present life or any future life. All my hopes and dreams for a future and retirement are gone. Today is just like yesterday, and I know that tomorrow will be just like today. I can’t even think about my future. I can’t bear the thoughts of the rest of my life being like this – alone and empty.
Yes, I have Jesus. I think I would be dead by now if I didn’t. But Jesus doesn’t hold my hand in church; He doesn’t keep me warm at night; He doesn’t bring home flowers when he gets groceries; He can’t drive the RV, so I will stay home and never travel. Everything is gone. I have no future. I don’t know what to do.
Death would have been better – at least I could hope and pray for another husband/companion to come into my life. But everybody on here says that I can’t remarry even if I did meet someone. I don’t like being alone. I live one hour at a time. I look forward to bed time so that 8 hours of my life will pass by without me being aware of it – which brings me 8 hours closer to the end. (I would never commit suicide because that would send me to Hell, plus I couldn’t do that to my children and grandchildren.)
I’ve gone through all the phases – unbelief, anger, numbness, grief, hate, loss – you name it. But I have yet to feel whole. And I sure don’t feel like the rest of my life will be worth living. It’s not just the loss of my dear husband, but the loss of my entire life. (Not to mention the fact that I still love him and would take him back in a heartbeat if he repented.)
Any help??
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RE: I want my life back. - 12/30/2007 9:19:42 PM
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bkinson
Posts: 7
Joined: 7/3/2005
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Wow,
You've really been thru a lot, I"m so, so, sorry for what's happened to your life. I don't know what advice to give you, except to continue to pray. Remember how God can bring beauty out of ashes and He's always near to the broken hearted. You can be sure He loves you deeply and is aware of what you're going thru. Day by day it will get a little easier, maybe not much at first but if you stay close to God and pray and praise Him, you'll notice things will change for you.
I"ll keep you in my prayers.
Caryn.
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RE: I want my life back. - 12/30/2007 9:31:26 PM
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mbgb
Posts: 249
Joined: 12/18/2007
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Oh my goodness! I am so sorry. I am going through a separation right now, it's really tough, but it's nothing compared to your horrible experience. I will pray for your husband's heart to be softened. There is not reason to give up hope. Have you heard of Rejoice Marriage Ministries? Please check them out. It's been very encouraging to me. Please, do not listen to those who say it is not okay to remarry first of all, it sounds like he left you, but it is up to you to try to pray to get him to come home. I do not know your whole situation, but do not let any others get you down any further than you already are. First of all, you must try to pray for God to heal your marriage. Rejoice Marriage Ministries is very insightful about that. Also, I have had a lot of support on this site. Please continue to pray, and we will pray with you. I do not believe this woman can possibly fulfill him the same way a happy 42 year marriage could. It sounds like a fling, and he'll get tired of her eventually. If you keep praying for God to soften your husband's heart and for Him to make your husband want to come home...I'm pretty positive God will hear your prayers, but it is important to have others praying for you as well. God Bless you, I'm thinking of you and praying that God will heal your heart on this day, and that you will learn to lean on Him alone for all of your comfort, and that He will fill your life with many good Christian friends so you will not get lonely, and for Him to hear your prayers for your marriage to be healed. Praying!
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RE: I want my life back. - 12/30/2007 10:22:29 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 767
Joined: 11/28/2005
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I'm so sorry you had such a terrible experience in marriage and with your health.
Have you thought of getting a live in care aide or companion?
I use to live with an older lady who has MS and me and her had wonderful times
traveling and shopping together. Originally I'd worked for her mom who lived to be
99 years old! The daughter hired me to stay on because she was no longer able to drive due to health (MS) - so we got a wheelchair and when she wanted to go out -
I'd roll her around in it. We also had people invited into the house for coffee and dessert usually once a week. Her church sent over the weekly sermon on tape/cd.
Maybe you could do a card or phone call ministry... or bible devotions with other ladies in your church? Just some suggestions -
Everything isn't gone dear lady - Jesus is still with you and will always be with you.
I don't know if your ex will come back or not but you can't spend all your time grieving over him. We live for Jesus not our mates - people leave us - Jesus doesn't!
He will strengthen you and guide you on to something better - a life lived honoring and serving Him. Ask Jesus to help you get over this heartbreak and show you which path to take in life. Speak to your minister about this and have the church praying for you as you step out of this dark place in your life and reach out for
new hope and a blessed future.
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RE: I want my life back. - 12/30/2007 10:33:09 PM
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tfkeel
Posts: 77
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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Yes.
Check out http://fortysixty.invisionzone.com
It is a website and forum devoted to Mid-Life Crisis, the management is Christian and there are both believers and non-believers who post there. Many have become saved on the site through the testimony and encouragement of the believers.
There are many there who are suffering similar circumstances to yours and can offer considerable empathy, prayer, and good solid advice.
I know it is the belief of many that remarriage is not allowed.
Jesus to the Samaritan Woman (from John 4:17,18)
"....The woman answered, and said, I have none husband [I have not an husband]. Jesus saith to her, Thou saidest well, That I have none husband [For I have not an husband];
for thou hast had five husbands, and he that thou hast, is not thine husband [and he whom thou hast now, is not thine husband]. This thing thou saidest soothly..... "
Please note that Jesus did not say, "...for thou has had ONE husband, and hath married 4 other men who were NEVER your husband, and the one you have now is not your husband...."
It is pretty strange for us to assume that she had outlived 5 husbands, only to live in fornication with a 6th man.
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RE: I want my life back. - 12/30/2007 11:47:51 PM
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crankius
Posts: 4157
Joined: 4/12/2005
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JCMK,
I am very sorry for the loss and pain you are experiencing. You are grieving much.
The Lord knows your pain and your sorrows. Jesus was of course very well acquainted with sorrows. I just want to make sure you know how much the Lord cares for you and loves you and that the Lord did not will for your husband to sin and depart from you in this manner. Your husband sinned of his own will, and it looks like your husband will continue to sin and behave according to his own sinful desires.
The Lord will hold your right hand through all of this. It is clear you have poured your heart out to the Lord. I just want you to have assurance that the Lord has heard your cries and He loves you very much.
Do you enjoy Southern Gospel? Please come to the Southern Gospel folder here, and join in on the fun conversations. There are many there who will happily share friendship with you. I don't even listen to Southern Gospel but the people in that folder are the best and that is why I visit there so often.
I will pray for you!
_____________________________
Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16
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RE: I want my life back. - 12/31/2007 2:02:52 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 1500
Joined: 9/26/2007
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Bless your heart, JCMK, you're going through the wringer. You have to go through the steps of loss and grieve it, but it won't last forever. The depression will go away.
Your husband has stolen from you and committed adultery; not everyone here thinks you can't remarry (I'm one of them). Go look at the one-stop remarriage thread.
Something that can help you today is to get involved in someone else's struggles and help them. You say you can't leave the house, then counsel others on this forum. Start your own prayer ministry.
If you can't get into your Bible daily, then open it and read at least one verse. I recommend the book of Psalms, and Ps. 119 is awesome. Ask God to comfort you and teach you wonderful things from His Word.
Find a lawyer and take your ex to court for part of his income and retirement. Legally I don't think he can refuse you, especially as long as you were married. Pray God will turn him around and bring him to confession and repentance.
I'd plan on staying single now, and if God does bring your ex back, then it will be a wonderful surprise. Read James Dobson's "Love Must Be Tough" - it's probably at the library. Or if not, do an interlibrary loan. It might be free or cost a couple bucks.
Oh, and start working out. Lift soup cans in repetitions of 8. Do leg lifts if you can. Contract every muscle in your body and hold to the count of 3. Repeat 8 times. Stuff like that; you can do it sitting down if you need to. Do every other day for like 5-30 minutes (music helps). When you get more muscle tone it will help your depression; the mind and body and soul are more closely linked than most people think.
I am praying for you, dear sister. May God comfort you and show Himself mighty to you! (((hugs)))
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RE: I want my life back. - 12/31/2007 3:10:36 AM
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lightshineon
Posts: 3429
Joined: 4/11/2005
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You know, this whole ordeal is not your fault. I am wondering if you feel assense of false guilt, because of your illness? No it iss not easy to live with a sick person, my mom has had staff for two years and my daddy age 72, has served her in the Spirit of Christ. Getting older is not your fault, it happens to us all.
One, get over this false guilt, and get with prayer, and busy with other activities, and friends. This man is not the man you thought he was, so you do not want your old life back. I might seek the Lord and finding a new church. I would ask the Lord to show me the next step. Life is not fair, but God is just in Hebrews 13, God says he punishes evryone unfaithful in marriage. Getup sister, get up, you can by grace make it. I will pray, There have been times I wanted to die, but God always somehow showed me hope. You seem very well spoken, and smart. I know grief takes time, but there is also time to learn to move on, without him. He does not seem like a wonderful catch to me. Blessings and try, please try and regain your life, not his.
_____________________________
Remember, whenever you have pearls, there are always plenty of pigs nearby who would be glad to step on them.
F.T., 2007
Be sure you vote for those, whose views you want your children to emulate.
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RE: I want my life back. - 12/31/2007 4:28:21 AM
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cclowe12345
Posts: 4
Joined: 12/31/2007
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Wow, My heart hurts to hear your pain, I am so sorry you are going through this. What can one say that can ease this pain,,,,really just encouragment, You know I question God alot, I know we are not suppose to, but in our human sense,,,we think gee,,,could it get any worse, or God??? Where are you,,,,There are so many stories in the bible of mighty men and women of God that have gone through unbearable situations, but the situation is not the end!..Remember Job, ...Remeber Jesus,,,sweating blood before he was crucified....Jeremiah 29:11 " I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disater, plans to bring about the future you hope for"...If you know, beyond a doubt in your heart that Jesus LOVES you,,,this storm will pass, and the rainbow will be, beyond your comprehension.....God has to allow these situations with his chosen ones...when he burns out the impurities in the fire...you come out as gold....He has a plan for you that only you can do...and this situation is shaping you for the plan...Do not listen to what people say about not being able to remarry,,,infidelity is in the bible as grounds for divorce..Start seeking what God is trying to show you...I just feel in my spirit...he is preparing you for a mighty work.."The higher the level, the stronger the devil"....You will come out of this victorious! You say you want your life back...the Lord has a better life for you!
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RE: I want my life back. - 12/31/2007 5:45:50 AM
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Keabird
Posts: 850
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Hi there JCMK.
I read your post a few hours ago and really felt your pain. I have been praying for you but was not sure what to post at that time.
In regard to the debate on the remarriage after divorce thing, we're not allowed to get into that here, but I just want to encourage you to study the Bible independently, seeking the Lord's Voice on it. You'll find on these forums many people who believe that remarriage is okay in certain circumstances, and there is another group who are adamant that remarriage is only allowable after death. This is an area where you will need to come to your own conclusions, as there are many differing thoughts here, and most posters can back up their differing views with Scripture. So you really need to study it for yourself.
Do know that even while your husband has gone astray, your life has purpose, God has a purpose for it, and you can move forward with God, prayerfully laying your husband on God's altar, and asking God to deal with your husband' life. It seems to me that you are "stuck" emotionally because there is a part of you that feels you have to hang on - so the healing doesn't happen, because the wound is forced to remain open. Do know that even if you move forward, seeking new interests and leaving your husband in the Lord's hands, God is still very capable of doing miracles in your husband's life. But you have YOUR life to get on with, and I believe God has something for you to do, because the Word says that He prepared good works in advance that He created us to do. Those good works haven't stopped yet for you! So I encourage you to seek the Lord about what He would have YOU do at this juncture in your life. Let Him deal with your husband.
I pray the new year will bring some wonderful blessings, hope and restored joy to you.
In Him
Sherri
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
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RE: I want my life back. - 12/31/2007 10:17:06 PM
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emmkay2
Posts: 387
Joined: 10/18/2007
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quote:
But everybody on here says that I can’t remarry even if I did meet someone. no, not "everybody" here says that. and frankly, the only One that matters is the Spirit within you, anyway.
you've been handled a plateful, that's for sure. the description of pain you gave is so completely familiar to me, it was as though i read my own words. i'm now 10 years beyond that description, and while it was agony to feel all that, the Lord was my Rock, my Shield and my Portion during it.
one of the things i did for myself was get my hands on every Biblically based, relationship oriented book i could "beg, borrow or steal" as the saying goes. i spent the next 7 years deeply studying dozens of them, and God's Word for all that i could glean about myself, my God, and my relationships. it was the most intensely difficult and spiritually rewarding time of my life, to date.
i know that God can carry you and will if you allow Him to. i know that He can keep enough of your heart and spirit in tact during this season, that you will not only survive, you will eventually thrive. whatever you have to give Him, whatever you have to say to Him, even to throw @ Him or shout to Him, He can take it -- and He will love you through it all.
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RE: I want my life back. - 12/31/2007 11:18:51 PM
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TMeeks
Posts: 1488
Joined: 1/27/2007
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: JCMK
Now it’s all gone. For 15 months I have prayed, fasted, begged God, pleaded with God, promised God everything, sat in the dark many evenings, lost sleep, couldn’t eat, and cried until I thought I couldn’t possibly cry anymore. My heart hurt – they say that the heart has no nerve endings, but it does. My heart hurt physically. Sometimes the grief was so bad that I felt like there was a ton of bricks on my chest and I couldn’t breathe. I talked to him in person, I emailed him scriptures, I talked to him on the phone, and I even left him alone for weeks at a time hoping that he would miss me. Nothing changed his mind.
This may seem like a very trite contribution in response to your plight. But, I thought it might help to know that your observations about your heart line up with some recent research. There appears that there may be a small 'brain' in the heart that does, in fact, react to emotional stress. Several universities are studying the implications as applied to learning.
The Little Brain in the Heart
That may be small consolation for you in your plight. But, at least it validates that you aren't simply imagining the feelings in your heart area. While the site to which I linked has some overtones of new-age babble, I know of several Christian educators are involved in researching the implications of these new finds.
< Message edited by TMeeks -- 12/31/2007 11:27:48 PM >
_____________________________
Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
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RE: I want my life back. - 1/1/2008 1:30:06 PM
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missin_aj
Posts: 3
Joined: 6/6/2007
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Hello JCMK,
I read the pain in your letter and feel it through your words. Whether or not you can remarry is really besides the point. The point is, you still have a life to fulfill. That means to do whatever it takes to heal.
Do you know of anyone in your church who has gone through divorce, who may be struggling with the pain and the loss? Maybe God has brought you into the next step in your life. Take what satan has done to destroy you and use it for God. Start a singles group, get out into the community and see what is offered for you there and maybe join in. Bring God into a secular group. Open your home to someone who is going through the same thing and lean on each other. The worst thing that you can do is sit back and let the liar have one more minute of your time. As hard as it may be in the beginning to fight your way back, just do it. We can't let satan win.
My loss was the death of my 14 year old son. I learned the hard way what lengths the liar will go to to destroy a Christian's life. He has taken enough of your time. Now is the time to make your life all about you and what you can accomplish for the Father. Whether or not your husband comes back to you shouldn't be the thought that drives your day. Let God use you. Open your arms and embrace what He has for you. He will not give you more than you can handle. After the death of my son, I began to pray, God, I don't know what you see in me that made You think that I could live through the death of my child, but whatever it was, develop it in me. Give me the strength to use what has happened to further your kingdom. satan snatched my son from me so I am going to spend the rest of my life snatching as many souls from him as I can.
Let God use you and this situation to His good. But first, some harsh words. Turn on the lights, take a deep breath, get out there and do what you need to do, and kick satan in the teeth in every way that you can. You have come through some darkness so that you can help show someone else The Light.
I pray that God willshow you how He can usse the pain that satan has brought to pull you that one step closer to Him. Sometimes that is all that He gives us, just the next step.
God bless and keep you.
_____________________________
For God so loved........kinda says it all, doesn't it
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RE: I want my life back. - 1/1/2008 3:16:54 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1671
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
Status: offline
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I am sorry for all that you have gone through. My heart aches for you.
I am glad that you have clung to Christ through all of this....and that He is your lifeline. I also understand the need for the human factor as well...God made us this way.
I have a few suggestions that may or may not be feasible...but could help.
1) Consider selling your house/home and moving closer to your children...get into a senior apartment building...it is NOT a nursing home...it is simply an apartment building that has only seniors in it...it does have special emergency equipment in the apartments if you should need it to call for help. My reason for this....it makes it easeir to make new friends...ones that can be YOUR friends and YOUR friends alone....there are social opportunities within the community as well that are easy to get to..and they have people who will grocery shop for you/with you and they usually have a bus service that will take you wherever you want to go....
2) Consider starting a new SS class at your church....for single seniors...some of them will be in your situation and some will be newly widowed...the pain is the same...half the heart has been ripped out...you can support each other in prayer and Bible study.
3)look into senior traveling clubs....we had one in the little itty bitty town in Kansas where we used to live...it was a group of senior who would save up money together and would rent a big touring bus and would travel to different places at different times together...they had varying degrees of disabilities...but they traveled together and were safe and had fun and got to see things they might not have gotten to see otherwise.
4) Re-read Psalms....just because it is a book that will put into words some of the pain in your heart.
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: I want my life back. - 1/2/2008 4:36:14 AM
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blessednw
Posts: 757
Joined: 4/12/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: JCMK
They are now living together in sin. He seems very happy. He has a new truck and motorcycle and no troubles or worries.
This........is temporary......things can look great for the sinner, for a while, but the Lord does not ignore the sin and its effect on others. There are grave consequences for unrepentant adultery.
quote:
We had plans for our retirement that we were both looking forward to.
So sorry that these have been temporarily interrupted
quote:
Now it’s all gone. For 15 months I have prayed, fasted, begged God, pleaded with God, promised God everything,
Please know that the Lord has not ignored your cries and your husband's sins grieves the Holy Spirit.
quote:
sat in the dark many evenings, lost sleep, couldn’t eat, and cried until I thought I couldn’t possibly cry anymore. My heart hurt – they say that the heart has no nerve endings, but it does. My heart hurt physically. Sometimes the grief was so bad that I felt like there was a ton of bricks on my chest and I couldn’t breathe. The heart may not have nerve endings but the heart is surrounded by muscle that can spasm. It can be very common to feel pain in one's heart. I do. quote:
I talked to him in person, I emailed him scriptures, I talked to him on the phone, and I even left him alone for weeks at a time hoping that he would miss me. Nothing changed his mind. not yet anyway. what may change his mind may have nothing to do with anything you say, but by the working of God through circumstances (His primary means of disciplining us) He is stubbornly in sin.
Sorry you've had to go through with so much unexpected shock and pain. I hope you find that God is bigger and faithful than your present trial. I have found Him to be unendingly able to keep and strengthen the one who relies on Him.
< Message edited by blessednw -- 1/2/2008 4:49:33 AM >
_____________________________
This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.....
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RE: I want my life back. - 1/2/2008 3:51:42 PM
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Keabird
Posts: 850
Joined: 4/11/2005
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I could not take comfort from anyone being turned over to satan. We are not to gloat over the misfortunes of others, nor are we to rejoice that demons obey us - we are to be humbly thankful that our own name is written in the Book of Life. For someone to have forsaken the Lord in order to make sin a priority is a horribly sad thing. Hebrews says that it is a terrible thing for someone to fall into the hands of the living God - the context of the passage is that of someone who has known Him and then rejected Him. It is a scary, scary thought. I don't see where the pleasure comes in myself.
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
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RE: I want my life back. - 1/2/2008 8:38:47 PM
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JCMK
Posts: 119
Joined: 12/30/2007
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Thank you for all your care and comforting words. Also for the very sweet PMs that I have received.
I can't respond to everything that has been said, but I will make a few remarks. First, I have prayed about selling our house and everytime I do, I feel like God is telling me No. It is too big for me and hard for me to keep clean, but it isn't too big for both of us if he should come back. I also have his wedding band that has diamonds in it, but I can't sell it (I bought it new for our 40th anniversary). He left all his dress pants and shirts that he wore to church, but they are still hanging in our closet. A lot of times I sleep with one of his shirts because a woman at church told me that she knew a woman who did that and her husband came back after two years.
I would never wish harm toward him. As a matter of fact, I'm worried that something bad will happen to him since God's protection is not over his life any longer. I still love him and want him back. But I've heard that he has introduced her to all his family, so the next step is marriage. If he marries her, maybe I can move on with my own life.
My church is very strict and there are only 3 women and 1 man divorced, counting me. They have been divorced for years. A class for divorced people wouldn't work.
Because of my disability, part of which is agoraphobia, I can not go to support groups or have a bunch of people in my house. Can't travel on a bus because I would get carsick. I'm pretty much of a loner and I wrapped my entire life around my home, husband and children.
I don't need any assistance, though, as I am able to get around in my house. Plus I lost medical insurance when we divorced and couldn't pay for it.
One thing that bothers me soooo much is that I can't get motivated or inspired to do anything around the house. It needs to be cleaned, and I don't care. I have the living room 1/2 wallpapered for a year and can't finish it. I used to do all kinds of crafts, but I'm not interested. I can't read because I can't stay focused. I don't watch TV because the noise gets on my nerves. The only thing that I can manage to watch is Gaither or other gospel videos and Joyce Meyer videos. I can't seem to get into the Bible, although I used to study it daily. I've stayed in my PJs and Robe for 3 days at a time. Right now I've been without milk and other groceries for four days, but can't seem to make myself get dressed and go to the store. I make it to church about 1/2 the time because instead of getting help there, I remember when he was there with me and I'll look at the pew where we always sat.
The other night I happened to turn on the TV and there was an old detective movie on. I tried to watch it, but one of the detective's name was my husband's name. After hearing his name 4 or 5 times, I had to turn it off.
Three nights ago I got cold and rolled over to snuggle up against my husband's back. It startled me and woke me up that he wasn't there. For a few seconds I listened to see if he was in the bathroom and then I remembered that he is gone. Gone?? Oh! yeah, he's gone. He's really gone.....
Am I losing it? The doctor gave me Zoloft for depression. I didn't want to take it, but I did. I can't tell any difference.
I've asked God how long must I suffer? When will my burden be lifted? I don't mind praying and fasting for him, but I wonder if he will come home anyway. God won't make him.
I'm just rambling. Sorry......thanks again for all your support and prayers.
< Message edited by JCMK -- 1/2/2008 8:44:54 PM >
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RE: I want my life back. - 1/2/2008 8:50:18 PM
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mbgb
Posts: 249
Joined: 12/18/2007
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So sorry to hear all of that. It does sound like you are a little depressed. I take Effexor, and it has helped me tremendously. Maybe your medicine is not working correctly. I am praying for you and for your marriage, and for an answer to come quickly. I pray that God will help you find comfort in Him, and will be especially close to you during your hard trials, and that He will give you the strength to read His word. I also pray that new friends and helpful old friends will come knocking at your door so that you will know there is help and companionship for you, and for an answer to your feeling of hopelessness at the moment. I encourage you to keep praying. So far, that has been a wonderful experience for me during my separtation. God may not answer your prayers the way you had in mind, but I guaruntee it will be in a wonderful way if you are walking with Him. God bless you.
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RE: I want my life back. - 1/3/2008 11:33:38 PM
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lightshineon
Posts: 3429
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Hey sister, please do not take any offense at this. I have done this myself 10 years ago. Is there anyway you can get in patient care. I mean check in to a place of your own free will, and can leave when you want too. They can give medication that is right for you, force you into socialization, plus you need someone to take care of you. There are Christian places that will help you. Shelia Walsh did this when her marriage broke up. If you are not divorced, then you need to go to court, for him to keep you on insurance. The Lord is waiting for you to take a step forward, baby steps, but, still you have to try. This is said in much love and compassion.
_____________________________
Remember, whenever you have pearls, there are always plenty of pigs nearby who would be glad to step on them.
F.T., 2007
Be sure you vote for those, whose views you want your children to emulate.
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RE: I want my life back. - 1/4/2008 8:40:53 AM
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Hope1764
Posts: 38
Joined: 12/31/2007
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JCMK, my father had a stroke last year, was never sick, for all the years I have known my dad he has always bee working. Now he is taking his handicap very hard. Everytime I call to talk to him he starts crying. My advise always to him is for him to just accept the situation, so not allow the situation to control him, take control of it. Whenever he feels down, just call on the Lord and thank God for him being still alive. Things could have been worst, the stroke could have taken his life at his age, but God has spared his life. He may unable to use some of his limbs, but he can talk. My advise to him is to dwell on the positive and throw the negative thougts out of the door.
So today, JCMK I am telling you that God never gives us more than we can handle. Take control of your situation, do not give your situation to control of you. Turn it over to God, pray for a healing. A few years ago my mom is diabetic and lost her eyesight and my mom was an inspiration to me, she did not let that get her down she prayed everyday for God to restore her sight. One day I got a call from her and she said Sweetheart God has given me my miracle I have been praying for. I can see again. I think that morning she had turn her television on to Benny Hinn which is one of the ministries she watches and during his prayer session he said that there is someone who has been praying for a miracle to get their sight back and my mom believed that that miracle was hers, she believed and today she is still able to see. So just turn your burden over to Jesus my dear sisiter, call on his name when you are feeling lonely and when the mailman comes to your door thank the lord for sending someone to you. The song writer says: Give them all, Give them all, Give them all to Jesue, shadowed dreams wounded heart and broken joys, give them all give them all to Jesus and he will turn your sorrows into joy. So today believe and you shall truly receive your miracle. Good Bless You.
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Look Back At The Past And Learn, Look Towards The Future With Hope
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RE: I want my life back. - 1/4/2008 11:08:15 AM
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stampinlady
Posts: 1816
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Northern IL
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Iam praying for you and very very sorry you are hurting so deep! You do not have to go through it alone! 
Hugs to you my dear sister in Christ!
I've often thought that if my hubby were to leave under those circumstances I'd take great pleasure, for a short time of course, in knowing that God will handle him. Paul told us of a situation in 1 Corinthians 5 where the man was turned over to Satan. I'm so sorry for what you're going through and know that God will take care of you.
