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agapetos -> Dancing to a different drummer (3/30/2007 2:21:44 PM)

I emailed the Fritz last night to request a blog and as I was getting ready for bed I got to thinking about blogs in general.

I wonder how many active blogs there are out there in the world today. Their popularity seems to know no ends. There must be millions of nuggets of wisdom and foolishness in them. I wonder what advice or cautions their authors would give me if they could (and if I had time to read them all!).

Strictly speaking, this isn't my first blog. My other attempts have been short-lived and lay abandonded in some blog graveyard (if there is such a thing!). I hope that this fares better than my other attempts.

I've thought long about what title to give my blog. Should it be something plain and to the point, something witty or something sophisticated and intelligent. I looked to other blog titles for inspiration, but found none, because they varied so much and seemed to suit their authors so well.

Eventually though, a phrase came to mind that I've considered for several months. 'Dancing to a different drum'. I will dissect my reasons for this at some point (ie when I've figured them out!).

Given the amount of time that I've had to think of a title (and I asked someone back in January about the correct phrase), I've had plenty to think about what to say. I feel the need to space them out (though enthusiasum begs me to write them all NOW) so that I don't run out of things to say!



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (3/30/2007 2:46:52 PM)

I have a very special anniversary coming up soon. On the 2nd April it will be the anniversary of when I met Mr and Mrs Fritz. We were able to spend a wonderful weekend together at the home of some very dear people. It was extra special, because that was Easter weekend.

I'm not sure that I'm the only one who has had the privilege of meeting them, but I'm willing to lay bets that I'm one of the first to have met them! I've always felt very blessed to not only have had this very special man introduce me to God but to have the pleasure in meeting him that weekend. While his wife didn't introduce me to God, she's equally special and I've been equally blessed in having met her. She has been a constant source of love, support, encouragement and the occasional kick in the behind!



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (3/31/2007 6:18:48 PM)

Isn't it frustrating when you know why you've done something but you're brain simply isn't taking you down the right neural pathways now? I'm sure it will happen soon enough, but I want it now!

The reason I want it is because it concerns what I called my blog.

I recall that the 'Dancing' was to do with my Christian walk and the 'different drummer' to do with my bipolar. When I thought this title it seemed to suit me well. I'm sure that one day (but don't go holding your breath there folks!) my neural pathways will click at all the right points and I'll know what I'm rambling on about! Can't say you'll know though[;)]



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (3/31/2007 6:37:25 PM)

There's an author called Kay Redfield Jamison who hasn't written many books (she's professor of psychology I believe) but has written one (An Unquiet Mind) about her experiences of living with bipolar. Towards the end she recalls being asked about whether she'd have prefered not to have bipolar. She says that if the medication she uses hadn't been available to her, she'd have prefered not to have it. But it was available and with it she's been able to deal with the highs and lows of her condition.

My medication does not eliminate the wee beastie that is my bipolar. It helps me live with it. I learnt a lot from reading 'Unquiet Mind' ~ most importantly that the ultimate treatment for my highs, my lows and my normals is our Lord. I've just spent 3+ months in a major low ~ I'm not sure that I'd want to face it without Him.

There's a Liverpudlian (and if your neural pathways aren't connecting properly, that's someone who's from Liverpool!) author called Brian Patten who's written several poems I've come across in studying literature. I'm aware that I can't copy them in their entirity, but I'll mention them.

The first is called 'A Blade of Grass' and talks of how someone, when offered a blade of grass, says it's not good enough. I wonder how you'd react if you asked for something and were offered a blade of grass, one of God's simpler creations? The past week or so, since my mood has improved, I've gone out for walks in fields near where I live. It's kinda muddy in some places, but the grass is a wonderful, fresh spring green and even with shoes on, feels softer underfoot (yeah, I know, that could be the mud under the grass!). It's such a blessing and a promise of brighter days (late spring and summer) to come. I wonder if I appreciate these many blades of grass more than someone who hasn't experienced such a low?

The second poem is called 'Albatross Ramble' and is a cautionary tale never to wake with an albatross in your bed! I'm going to write about that tomorrow (because my book is downstairs!).



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (4/1/2007 6:29:58 PM)

I decided to make some rice in the microwave today ~ normally I make it in my electric steamer. I threw everything in the bowl and covered it with cling film and put it in to cook. About half way through, I checked on it and, knowing I was dealing with boiling water and steam, peeled back the cling film without the slightest care in the world.

Needless to say, I have 3 not serious burns on the back of my fingers. They'll probably be gone tomorrow, but let that be a cautionary tale for ya!

My father 'phoned this afternoon and after chatting for a bit, told me that my brother had some news for me. Technically, he's my half-brother but if I didn't have him, I wouldn't have one! He's 19 and has been offered a place to study at Chicago for 4 years starting September. It was his first choice and he's so over the moon about it. I'm very pleased for him, but I think my dad will miss him.

This evening I sat down to watch 'Persuasion' ~ Jane Austen. I'm not a big Austen fan, but she based several of her books in Bath, which isn't too far from where I live. Some of my family and I were in Bath last September and after we separated to go to our respective homes I walked through the centre of Bath ~ much of which has remained unchanged since Austen's day! Anyhow, the day that I was there, they were filming (all very boring ~ lots of people standing round doing nothing) but I watched for a bit then headed home.

Today, I saw the results of that filming and it was kind of cool. Fortunately I can say that I didn't manage to put myself in the picture! I enjoyed the adaptation, though I should read the novel again before saying something like that probably! The lead actor (Rupert Penry-Jones) was (as he always is) excellent.
[image]http://usera.imagecave.com/almshousekitty/Persuasion/Pers1-800.jpg[/image]

[image]http://usera.imagecave.com/almshousekitty/Persuasion/Pers3-800.jpg[/image]



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (4/3/2007 6:04:10 PM)

Given that I started this in March and we're now in April and my still making entries, I think I can say this is the longest I've ever had a blog[;)]

I was due to see my psychiatrist today but his secretary called to say he had an emergency and had to cancel. It was a bit frustrating because there were some things I needed to discuss ~ but none terribly urgent and emergencies in health care of any sort will come up. I've been seeing him over 4 years now and I can only remember him having to cancel once before. Four years? Gosh, where does the time go? Back then, I thought it would all be so simple. Be referred, be diagnosed, be treated, get on with my life[sm=purplelaugh.gif][sm=purplelaugh.gif][sm=purplelaugh.gif][sm=purplelaugh.gif]

Many years before I started to see my psychiatrist I came across a poem in a English Literature class I took called Albatross Ramble. It appealled to my sense of humour (my psychiatrist is still trying to find a word that suits it and is welcome to suggestions at ~ oh, I suspect that would be breaking TOS which isn't such a good idea huh, sorry!)

Back to the poem.

It tells the tale of someone who woke one morning to find an albatross in his room. Albatrosses have had several superstions cast upon them. It's bad luck to kill one (why, I haven't heard, it just is!) and if they fly around a ship it means stormy weather. The person in the poem wonders about where it came from, if it really belongs to them, how and where to get rid of it and then sums up about what to do about it in a very light-hearted way. I'm not generally quite that light-hearted when I'm down, but I still have this weird kinda sense of humour (I seem to recall asking my psychiatrist if he wanted 'to put me down now or later'[&:])

I'm rambling... and I'm using 'he/him/his' purely for clarity.

Someone wakes up with an albatross in his room. They try and figure out why ~ maybe it went to the wrong house, maybe someone palmed it off on him, maybe it got there because of a dream even? Man and bird watch each other. He remembers that it's sunny and springtime and he has someone to meet and if it wasn't for this bird everything would be really good.

He worries about going out and meeting his friend with this bird in tow because of the reaction he would get and the effect the bird would do have on people, especially his friend.

He goes on to talk of how he's tried to get rid of the bird through various means, including an albatross-exterminator (don't bother looking for one in a directory, he's already done that!) and then telling his friend (by making albatross sounds) that he can't go out (and I've never yet tried telling anyone with albatross sounds that I can't go out!).

Fianlly he realises that he just has to put up with the 'gloom bird, doom bird' until it goes away.

I've posted a few of my favourite things[;)] lines (and they are within copywrite law, hopefully within TOS too!).

quote:

The bird is alive, it watches me carefully.
I watch it carefully.


quote:

Although I have made albatross traps,
Although I have sprayed the thing with glue,
Although I have fed it every poison available,
It still persists in living,
This bird with peculiar shadows
Casts its darkness over everything.


quote:

I’ll grow disturbed with this bird never leaving,
This alien bird with me all the time.


quote:

This morning I woke with an albatross in my room.
There’s nothing much I can do about it until it goes away.


Depression is often cast as an alien being, something we don't know much about really, nor experience and yet it happens, even scripture tells us that. I was talking with my nurse yesterday (in one of my more cynical moods) about a 'self-help' guide he gave me. One of the first things that I came across was things you should do in order to (hopefully) not suffer depression ~ eating, sleeping (try telling a new mother that one!), exercising, avoiding stimulants etc. I told him that I'd been doing all this (to the extreme) last year and I woke up with an albatross in my room (though I didn't use those words because I haven't introduced him to the poem yet[;)][:D]).

For me, depression can come on overnight ~ and equally it can go overnight. It's very strange seeing your doctor in the surgery and having her be concerned for you mental health and 2 days later being fine and seeing her in the local supermarket (does anyone else have the problem of running into their GP at the supermarket? It's very disconcerting, you daren't put anything into your basket that isn't healthy incase she brings it up next time she sees you in the surgery: but maybe that's a good thing[8|]).

And I'm still rambling, so I'll shut up ~ hope you enjoyed the lines!



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (4/4/2007 5:53:19 PM)

Way back when I first became a Christian I found (online) a slightly different version of 'Footprints in the sand', which, I'm guessing that most of you have heard at some point in your life. This other version was called 'Footprints with a twist' and it stuck in my memory.

The poem begins in the same way with the dream of footprints in the sand. At first 2 pairs, then 1 pair. Then they separate again and they are no longer walking but it's really a bit of a mess of jumped steps, backward steps, whatever.

When the prints are looked back on, they are explained in the same way. The first steps, side-by-side are when the Lord and the person are walking together, then the Lord is carrying the person. The last steps the person simply doesn't understand.

The Lord smiles and says 'Can you not tell? That is when we danced together!'

I believe our walk with the Lord is more a dance than a walk. Sometimes there are good times, sometimes there are bad times, but that doesn't mean that we can't dance does it? It may be slow and careful so that we can ponder what's happened in our lives or it may be fast and furious and we feel we don't have time to think, but it's all a dance.

So that's where the 'dancing' bit of my thread title comes in.

The 'different drummer', as I said, refers to my bipolar disorder (and I will link my hypothyroidism in with that as it can impact my life significantly). For every dance, there has to be some sort of music. Mine has a drummer included in it. Sometimes the drummer isn't the regular drummer though and so doesn't always play in time (or in tune[:'(]) to the rest of the band. The dance becomes confusing and frustrating and it's difficult to follow the Lord's lead.


~o~o~O~o~o~



BTW ~ I don't have a thread in PFY as many do to link to their thread. I simply don't think I'd be able to keep up with it, but feel free to PM me (if my box isn't full up[;)]) if you want and I'll try to respond. Thank you for those who've commented so far ~ I've been really encouraged by your words.



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (4/6/2007 3:31:43 AM)

It's Good Friday today. I couldn't sleep and got up early. I was washing my hands in the bathroom and happened to notice the colour of the sky against the trees in the park across the road ~ and had to go take some photos. They're not too bad (even if I say so myself. I have one of the park with trees scattered here and there, mist coming off the ground (actually, it could be the pond) and the sun rising, setting the horizon on fire!

[image]http://usera.imagecave.com/almshousekitty/Hometown/copy1.jpg[/image]

I have another one of the moon just at the edge of some trees. That's over the cricket ground, which is on the other side of the other road!

[image]http://usera.imagecave.com/almshousekitty/Hometown/moon.jpg[/image]
Four years ago on Good Friday, I collected my cat from the RSPCA. Officially it will be 4 years in 2 weeks, but Good Friday is probably an easier way for me to remember, even if the date changes some! As you may have gathered that's her pic to the left.

She's changed a lot in that time. She's gone from being a recluse (hiding behind furniture for months until she figured I wasn't going to beat her) to wanting to come sit with (well on then) me when I'm watching tv. She's not into strangers much and will hide herself away a lot of the time ~ or, so long as she's hidden ~ continue to sleep!

She believes in the power of the purr and the meow. She hasn't figured out yet that the purr, though quieter is far more effective on me (and far more pleasant on my ears!).

She's due to go to the vets in the next week or so to have her booster shots. It's not something she finds enjoyable. I have to devise ways of catching her so I can put her in her carrier. I tend to get people ask me 'what happened to her?' when they hear her screech at 50 yards as I walk through town with her in her carrier. Well nothing happened to her, she's just going to the vets! Strangely enough, once at the vets she shows no desire to come out of her carrier and holds on to the edge with all 4 paws!

Poor mistreated kitty!

When we get home she tends to sit somewhere she can see me and complain for 10 minutes and then get fed up and demand attention.



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (4/10/2007 11:47:00 AM)

Thank you Kath for fixing my images for me!

I had a post and I got logged out of forums and lost it. I'm figuring it couldn't have been that important!

We've had a spell of absolutely glorious weather over the past few days and it's supposed to continue until the w/end at least. It's made me think a lot about my garden and gardening in general.

I only have a tiny garden and it looks very uncared for at the moment. My lavender does well (I have 2 established bushes and will be planting another 2 soon) and my honeysuckle has take off ~ but I need to tidy that up because it's falling over.

I've recently bought and ordered some garden stuff ~ seeds and such. I'm looking forward to them coming. I sowed some cherry tomato seeds yesterday ~ they should sprout in about a weeks time. And my other seeds will have arrived by then. My cherry tomatoes are called black tomatoes (although they're really a kinda dark purple colour), I'm also going to grow some dwarf beans (black, but they go green when cooked), carrots (white, purple, orange and mauve) and torpedo-shaped red onions (to be planted by the carrots to keep carrot fly away!) I like quirky, can you tell?[:D] I haven't grown these varieties before, but I've grown the veg and it was fairly easy to grow. And I like them!



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (4/12/2007 5:00:09 PM)

There's a small museum where I live, about the buildings, which date back to 1668. Many of the original features are still present. These are some of them ~ the museum is in what was the old schoolroom/chapel. The property was built for the 'deserving needy' of the community and had strict conditions about living here (not much better now to tell the truth[;)]) I'm constantly amazed that so much work went into something that was designed for the 'needy'.

[image]http://usera.imagecave.com/almshousekitty/Hometown/P1010162-copy.jpg[/image]The bibles (not your average handy-carry size!) and prayer book dates back to the 1800's, if not before.

[image]http://usera.imagecave.com/almshousekitty/Hometown/P1010165-copy.jpg[/image]One of my favourite parts, the candle holders that have been carved into hands on each side of the pulpit.

[image]http://usera.imagecave.com/almshousekitty/Hometown/P1010166-copy-copy.jpg[/image]The other side of the candle holder with carving that's lasted 100's of years below. The balcony shows more carving. The floor would have originally been stone. It's still below the wood and if anything like my stone kitchen floor very uneven! Not to mention cold!

[image]http://usera.imagecave.com/almshousekitty/Hometown/P1010179-copy-copy.jpg[/image]More carving, but in stone this time. The text above announces who built the houses.



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (4/15/2007 6:22:31 AM)

I'm sooo excited... my order of garden stuff has been despatched ~ so I should get it early next week. I spoke with them in the past week about adding a couple of items and she said that one (the carrots) were out of stock at the moment but could be sent separately later. It's funny, but I really don't like carrots unless I grow them myself and then they don't really get that big cos I pick them and eat 'em! And the goos weather that we're having is said to hold for a lil while longer too.

I checked my lil tomato seeds and I have growth. I've got a least one lil shoot growing ~ there could be more, they are in a tray in a bag and there's some condensation so it's a bit difficult to see. They are cordons and I've never grown those before so I'm a bit aprehensive about what to do with them once they're in the ground. The last tomatoes I grew were bush tomatoes and I put them in the ground and that was it! If these don't work this year, I shall go back to my bushes next year[:D]!



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (4/17/2007 6:21:19 PM)

Feeling kinda melancholy tonight. The shootings of the students and professors at the VA school I heard that one of the professors was a Jew who'd been in a concentration camp and died saving the lives of his students. He was internationally renowned. Students who died, too young to have made an impact on the world yet. Professor Liviu Librescu could so easily have been killed in the Holocaust but his life was spared ~ perhaps to spare the lives of young people who would have otherwise died. The Professor lived with the experiences of the Holocaust. These students will live with the knowledge of what happened in the same way.

I've read in recent years both Konin (Theo Richmond) and Night (Elie Wiesel). Neither easy reads, both about experiences of the Second World War and Camps. People fled their homes to somewhere they thought was safe. That's something that's been going on for centuries though (in the town I live there are houses said to have been lived in by Flemish weavers ~ who escaped the religious persecution that existed in their country. I wonder where people run to when they don't have any place left to run and don't know God.

It is perhaps the wrong word to use, but we are so lucky to know God.



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (4/18/2007 5:23:27 AM)

Oh my, what a night!

Need to explain something first. There's a sophisticated smoke alarm system here ~ I have an alarm in the upstairs hall, my bedroom, my lounge and my kitchen (ie every room except the bathroom!) and they're connected to the smoke alarms in my neighbours (all 10 of 'em) and to the master board (housed in the school house). So if I set one off, my neighbours all goes off! Cool huh![&:]

Crawled into bed last night and went to sleep, as one does. Around 2.30am the smoke alarms went off! I crawled out of bed (at a fast pace) and checked to see it was any of my alarms. Nope (thankfully). someone in one of the other houses then! Grabbed the key to get into the school-house and headed outside. It's kinda nippy at that time I decided! I didn't really need the key because 2 other people had gotten there before me (I live furthest away). And the chap who lives in the master's house was there too trying to turn the thing off.

The master board does say which alarm is going off in which house (in this case the lounge of someone's house). So we banged on his door. He's a fairly new resident and we're not sure if he was in the room, asleep or asleep upstairs or what (he didn't say). He'd had a candle burning and it had tipped over and burnt somethng (don't know what) to cause the smoke. He finally opened the door (not before one of his neighbours had joined the party[;)][&:]) though) ~ just before we called the landlord (we didn't in the end, but the landlord has a key). The guy kept both the front and back doors open and that helped the smoke clear ~ and for the alarm to be turned off.

Finally got back to bed and couldn't sleep for ages ~ and then the Munch came and asked for breakfast! At 6am[&:] I told her to go away it was way to early. She finally got fed around 8.30am but I'm not awake yet[&:]



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (4/21/2007 6:21:05 AM)

Well I have seed trays and seedlings all over the place now[&:] I sowed my lettuce in a tray and put it outside ~ instructions seemed to indicate that. I have put a cover over it though. My tomato seedlings are still growing well (indoors!).

I've also got beans, beetroot, peppers (sweet, jalapeno and chilli) indoors. Not sure if there's anything else[&:][:D]. I do have to plant my carrots and onions out though.

It is fun watching things grow though, I find. Knowing there's something in the compost that seemed dead, but somehow bursts with live within a few days of being planted. And slowly a little shoot appears.

I always wonder how it looked when God created the things that grow on our Earth how it looked. Did it happen suddenly, at the wave of a hand, or a touch of a finger, or did it take time to appear, as it does for our plants. The Bible says that God created the world in 6 days, but we don't know how long those days were.

Saw a robin on my back wall as I was gardening the other day. You're meant to tell robins everything that's going on. We passed the time of day and he asked (respectfully) to ensure Munchie was well-fed on kitty food! I didn't see mrs robin ~ I wonder if she's home minding the babies!



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (4/24/2007 9:00:24 AM)

Went to have a blood test yesterday ~ only to find out that whilst I had the right time, I should have been there yesterday[&:][:D] The receptionist was really good and booked me in for Friday. It's a regular blood test to make sure my blood is still the right colour.

I came out of the doctors and had a horrible thought that if I got my blood test appointment wrong, I'd made the same mistake with my dentist appointment. Typically, I didn't have my mobile. I shot into town and smiled at the receptionists and said 'Please tell me my appointment is tomorrow!'. It is. That's only a check up.

I bumped into a friend in town and he told me he had a heart attack last month. It was a shock to the system for them all ~ he has a wife and 3 children. Please pray for his recovery though. He's concerned about money, especially with the amount of medication he's currently on ~ although I was able to suggest some help he could get with expenses.

I'm hopefully taking my girl to the vet this afternoon. She doesn't much like going (who can blame her?!) and has a knack of disappearing sometimes.



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (4/25/2007 12:12:29 PM)

Well my girl got a clean bill of health from the vet yesterday. Her teeth are sparkling so the highly expensive oral care food she gets seems to be working. Vet thought her weight was fine, and I wondered if I was just seeing her winter coat...

I buy her food online and need to spend a certain amount to qualify for free delivery. Last time I ordered some, I bought her a toy tunnel, which she loves and that took me over the amount I needed to spend. As she's such got such a clean bill of health, I think she deserves a new toy of some sort[;)]

She also got a pedicure while she was there. The vet showed me one of her claws and said that it needed to be watched as it was much thicker than a normal claw and was the type that would curl round and dig into her paw. She gets her claws trimmed regularly though, so that shouldn't happen. Very bizzare to see part of her claw being peeled off like an onion skin ~ definately something I will be leaving to the vet or the nurse!

My trip to the dentist was uneventful. I spent a lot of time in the chair last year, and while he's a very good dentist, I don't much like needing stuff done. I think last year he replaced my bridge, then had to sort out an abscess beneath one of the teeth under the bridge, then it fell out[&:] It was actually better once it had come out because he could do some work to give it more support.

I'm hoping to do some gardening tomorrow. I have seedlings coming up all over the house, it's kinda funny! Munch tried to chomp on a tomato seedling the other day [sm=rollingeyes.gif] but it seems to have survived! None of the seedlings are big enough to transplant yet and it's not warm enough to put them outside. But the ground needs to be weeded and such. I got the fleece and mesh I ordered today. The fleece is supposed to protect against frost and the mesh against bugs and stuff ~ don't know how well it works but wasn't very expensive (I shopped around!). Hopefully the other stuff I ordered will come soon.

I spoke with my mother last night. She was somewhat upset because she gave one of her dogs away. She had one dog for over 18 years and the day after my nan's funeral the dog had a stroke and had to be put down. My mother went through a phase of saying she wasn't getting another dog and then she was and then she wasn't. She finally got one that was in a rescue centre and had been on tv! About this time last year, she got another one (she said she'd take it because it was being mistreated). This one however is a bit hyper and seemed to have a cruel streak in her towards the other dog. My mother heard through a friend of hers that someone was looking for a dog and her friend said she could be trusted to care for it properly, so she's gone. I'm hoping that she settles in well because my mother has said she'd take her back ~ but I'm really not sure she can cope with the 2 dogs.



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (4/25/2007 12:36:52 PM)

Oh... have to add...

I'm feeling kinda proud of myself today because I spent the afternoon working out how to do my income/expenditure on Excel ~ used formula and everything. Can't remember the last time I did that! Got the old grey matter moving![:D]



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (4/26/2007 7:33:26 PM)

I realised a while back that my 'Favourite Places' (bookmarked sites) were in dire need of an overhaul and tidy. I kept meaning to do something with it, but it seemed such a mammoth task I kept putting it off.

I went to bookmark a site today and I'm ashamed to say it wouldn't let me ~ I'd apparently reached my limit of 2,500! Needless to say, I am now working my way through those 2,500 sites! I've got 2 main folders going at the moment. One is called 'To sort' and the other 'Sorted'. I am creating subfolders as I go ~ I kinda had subfolders before, but I'd stopped using them of late.

Finding a lot of interesting sites, it's hard not to get side-tracked.

I went to another forums site today ~ to do with gardening ~ and posted a question. I went back this evening to find that my post was still the most recent one![&:] Busy site! When people do respond though, the information seems to be helpful.



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (4/28/2007 3:35:01 PM)

I spoke with my step-mother today. She told me that my aunt (my father's sister) has cancer. It was kind of expected but still sad news. Some years back docs found a 'spot' on her lung and she had radiotherapy (not sure what, if anything, else) and she seemed to recover but recently she's been very breathless and can't do much. This week the docs told her that it was back and had spread.

I'm not sure what she really knew from before. My step-mother isn't sure if the doctors didn't tell my aunt or my aunt didn't tell anyone else! I told my step-mother that I hadn't been sure if my father had not told me everything to save me worrying. They're going to try and get to see her next w/end.

I've been attacking the weeds in my garden. I put a ground cover sheet down when I finished one lot and hopefully it will help suppress and kill the weeds of given enough time! I've got one plant that is really pretty and I'm working round that because I want to keep it. I'm going to put some tubs on top and then put some cocoa shell mulch down. The cocoa shell mulch arrived today ~ and it smells sooooo good![:D]

My seedlings are still growing all over the house! I hope that I get something out of them after all this! I can't wait to start being able to plant them outside, but they're nowhere near ready yet.



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (4/30/2007 2:27:15 PM)

I have to confess, I really am not sure of the red that's being used now! I haven't checked the other sites out but will have to investigate and see and think of changing. (ETAI've switched to ibelieve.com ~ far easier on the eyes![:D])

My neighbour gave me some compost today so I was able to plant a tub up with some carrots and onions. Apparently they're good to grow together. I also added some slug pellets (that don't harm anything but slugs and snails, of which I have copious amounts) and covered it with a mesh that is supposed to stop flying bugs! Is this over-kill I ask myself?

My tomatoes and peppers are both just getting to the point where their first 'true' leaves are coming through, hopefully I shall be able to repot them in a week or so. I have some growbags on order, but I don't want to put them (or my cucumbers) out before the beginning of June really because of the risk of frost. But I do have some fleece so if I do put some out (and I may experiment) I can wrap them up nice and warm at night![&:]

I've sorted some seeds to give to a friend. I figured that I wouldn't use all the seeds I had ~ even if I kept some until next year so some may as well go to a good home! She's never done any gardening before so I've also found instructions on what she should do ~ which was actually useful for me too because I really haven't a clue either!

I'm off to see the wizard psychiatrist tomorrow. I think I've already raved about how lovely he is so I won't do that again (but he is very lovely!). We're going to discuss medication issues and next steps. Not sure what the next steps are, but he'll have some ideas I'm sure[:D].

I'm sure there's a few other things happening this week but I can't think of any[&:]



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (5/1/2007 2:44:08 PM)

Isn't it always the way that the very second you sink into a bath someone knocks on the door! It happened today. I knew who it would be because I'd ordered Munchie some more food and a flash kind of scratching post (with a den and a perch) (actually, there are 4 scratching posts!

I saw my psychiatrist. He had his side-kick (SHO) with him today ~ my psych told me that he (the SHO) was considered very handsome. Whoever considered him that and I have very different views on handsome[:D] But he seemed like a nice guy and he'll get good experience of working with my psychiatrist, handsome or not!

We discussed medication and I'm staying on what I'm on but possibly introducing another into the handful I take. Strangely enough this one is used mostly in the treatment of epilepsy (which is something I don't have!) but has been found to be useful as a mood stabiliser and antidepressant. My psychiatrist has left me to think on whether I want to try it or not. I did some checking and decided it was worth it so called his secretary. Hopefully he'll get a prescription out to me in the next week or so.

I spent the afternoon putting Munchie's scratching/den/perch thing together[&:]! And remembering why I liked ready assembled stuff[:D]!



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (5/6/2007 12:32:20 PM)

I haven't really done too much of anything over the past few days really, other than mundaine kinda house stuff. Today the weather turned a bit ~ which is typical as it's bank holiday tomorrow[&:].

My friend who had a heart attack a little while ago phoned yesterday and they invited me over for supper ~ I don't need asking twice and spent a fun evening with them all ~ then came home to an upset kitty because she hadn't had her supper[sm=fireanger.gif].

My lettuce were crowded so I spent ages thinning and transplanting them, then read in a book they don't like being moved[&:] So I may have killed them all off[:(]. I did take a lot of the leaves that I didn't have room for and will be having them in a salad tonight so I will have has something from them ~ it'll just be a pity if all the rest die off[sm=icon_smile_sad.gif]. My other seedlings are doing well it seems and I can't wait until I can move them out to the garden.

Munchie is getting used to her new scratching post/den thing ~ I think it' helps that I scatter food around it for her to find[;)]



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (5/8/2007 2:09:53 PM)

I can't see that I've mentioned it before, but forgive me if I have...

I was seeing a psychologist last year ~ we agreed initially on 8 sessions and had those. At the end of the sessions she told me that she felt that I would benefit from some further therapy, but she was leaving (I'd already known about this) so it wouldn't be with her. She placed me on the waiting list (again[&:]).

I'd asked my nurse if he could find out what the waiting list was like and someone was looking into it ~ but patience isn't always one of my virtues so, a few weeks ago, I phoned to speak with someone to find out what it was like. I didn't get an answer, but the lady I spoke with offered me a review appointment for this morning.

I went along to it, not sure what answers I'd get but it was very beneficial because she's offered me some sessions starting in a couple of weeks. They'll be fortnightly, which I really like (gives me some breathing space to think and reflect on things).



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (5/11/2007 10:21:06 AM)

I spoke with the company I was ordering some compost from this week and today I cancelled the order as they hadn't responded to my query about when they were going to deliver (despite taking payment for the order last week!). Lady today was very apologetic and helpful and explained what was going on but I found another company that can deliver next week. Sigh... Not that the weather is really up for gardening at the moment.

My psychiatrist phoned today. He's sending all the info about the new meds and prescriptions and such. I have to have some blood tests[:'(] befoe I start it though. I phoned the surgery to arrange an appointment and she offered me Tuesday (which happens to be the day the compost should be delivered[&:]) but I accepted the appointment. They needed to know who wanted me to have it, so I explained my consultant and he was sending the forms I'd need. She (not to mention I) hoped I would get them by Tuesday! Then she told me that if they didn't jut to speak with the midwife...

Midwife???[&:][&:][&:]

Phlebotomist she said... Much better[;)]! Gave us both a laugh though[:D]



agapetos -> RE: Dancing to a different drummer (5/16/2007 7:32:48 PM)

I have carrot and onion seedlings coming up in the container[:D] It's been raining heavily here and I realised that I hadn't put holes in the bottom of the tub so excess water could come out. I went out today with a candle, matches and an old metal file from my jewellery making days and made some! Couldn't believe the amount of water that gushed out. Hopefully it won't have done the seedlings any harm.

My compost came yesterday and I filled another container today (making sure that I put holes in it!) with more carrot and onions. I spent the evening making holes (I'm getting to enjoy this, can you tell[;)]) in the bottom of more containers. I want to get one going with beetroot tomorrow.

My lettuce that I thought I'd killed off because I transplanted it seems to be living still[:D].

Didn't have my blood test yesterday. My form hadn't turned up on Monday so I phoned and cancelled and rearranged for tomorrow. The form turned up yesterday but I was glad that I cancelled I'd have been out when my compost turned up.

The letter from my psychiatrist said that there was instructions on how to start the new medication in with the letter, but there wasn't. I phoned and had a weird 3-way conversation while I was talking to his secretary. My psych made the comment that behind every successful man is a great woman ~ I made one back saying that he had two great women ~ his wife and his secretary! NOt sure who, but one of them is going to send me the instructions[&:] I can't start taking them until the results of the blood test are back though, so it will probably be next week.

My niece isn't very well at the moment. She's got an infection or something in her gum and been in a lot of pain. I persuaded her to go to the hospital to get checked out. My mother is going with her. She has brittle diabetes (it's not easily controlled) and has been in hospital so many times because of it. I'm hoping that this infection (or whatever) won't affect her diabeties. She's a little trooper with all she has to put up with.



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