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You and the "honey-do list" - 10/5/2009 5:59:12 PM
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Elena1030
Posts: 2104
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Music City, USA
Status: offline
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Gentlemen,
When someone (your wife, girlfriend, friend, sister, guy pal, boss, whoever) asks you to do something, would you rather...
* have a deadline or a "whenever"?
* be given details on how to do it, or be left to figure it out for yourself?
* be asked when there's plenty of time to do it in, or be asked to help in a crisis?
* have an entire list of projects to be done for the month, or be asked to do one major project at a time?
* have no "honey-do list" at all?
(Feel free to elaborate, since this list of questions is far from exhaustive.)
Do you think of things to do to help/serve others without their asking you to do them? If so, what sorts of things?
Thanks!
_____________________________
Prayer thread for singles who desire to marry someday
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RE: You and the "honey-do list" - 10/5/2009 9:34:08 PM
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John_O
Posts: 7808
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Elena1030
Gentlemen,
When someone (your wife, girlfriend, friend, sister, guy pal, boss, whoever) asks you to do something, would you rather...
* have a deadline or a "whenever"?
* be given details on how to do it, or be left to figure it out for yourself?
* be asked when there's plenty of time to do it in, or be asked to help in a crisis?
* have an entire list of projects to be done for the month, or be asked to do one major project at a time?
* have no "honey-do list" at all?
(Feel free to elaborate, since this list of questions is far from exhaustive.)
Do you think of things to do to help/serve others without their asking you to do them? If so, what sorts of things?
Thanks!
Ask me to do something and then get out of my way. 
I have some friends who have hosted me a few times. My friend was at that time incredibly inept at home maintenance so I'd do jobs for him when I went down. Repaired a shower, set up a wireless network, repaired the kitchen plumbing, that sort of thing.
Well one time I decided to do something nice for them. All of their doors squeaked badly. So I oiled them and got rid of all the squeaks. My friend was quite upset. He had two teenage daughters and used the squeaks to keep track of them. Oops.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: You and the "honey-do list" - 10/5/2009 9:34:09 PM
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nwcs
Posts: 10
Joined: 10/5/2009
Status: offline
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Hey Elena. :)
Not sure how long I'll be on here to check on replies (hey, it's been a year!) but I'll answer you because you're a wise woman.
I've thought about this one a lot. When I was younger I used to think a honey-do list from a spouse was a big annoyance and presumption. I no longer think in those terms. If I love a woman and she is my friend I'll want to do things for her. And women see these things differently from men. By doing things on the list I'm demonstrating my love for her in a way she understands. It shows I care. Men don't see love in this way but women do. If I love her and she is my friend I would do it because I love her and she is my friend. I'm sure there would be some negotiation and little arguments but that's just life.
As for the specific questions, it depends. I have a strong sense of getting things done. I wouldn't need a deadline but I would like some indication of importance. Details depend upon the situation. Timing doesn't matter all that much. Any woman I marry will understand the timing that works for me and she wouldn't put me in a bad position on a consistent basis. If she did we'd have to discuss it. So that said, I'd do what's needed when it's needed.
The only thing I'd add for the benefit of women who are reading this: men don't always realize that doing these things is a demonstration of love. It helps to make it clear. And by the same token, expressing appreciation for what the man did is always appreciated.
Neil
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RE: You and the "honey-do list" - 10/6/2009 5:07:17 PM
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warpspeed10
Posts: 37
Joined: 8/18/2009
Status: offline
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It depends on what it is and my mood. Sometimes I'll do things right away, sometimes I won't do them and then I'll get nagged and nagged and get angry at the person that asked me. If I need help I'll usually ask for it.
I'm personally a guy that likes to do things on impulse, so I'd rather just be told when something is up. Though if I'm pretty busy I'd rather be told in advance... say I'm married and we need to do grocery shopping once a week... let me know that and I'll arrange it into my weekly schedule. But if its something like... change a light bulb, just tell me whenever.
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RE: You and the "honey-do list" - 10/7/2009 7:32:00 AM
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keithyhuntington
Posts: 814
Joined: 7/7/2009
From: Tulsa, Okla.
Status: offline
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i prefer to get tasks in order of relevance. i can't stand being told to do something way before it should be done.
example: my wife starts giving me a list of things to pack for a trip.... 3 months in advance. its really annoying. wait until 3 days before we leave. and THEN give me a list.
_____________________________
Jesus Christ please help me 'cause i'm lonely. Whats the use in living, if you can't make a good living?
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RE: You and the "honey-do list" - 11/2/2009 1:46:28 PM
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gratefulman
Posts: 2
Joined: 11/2/2009
Status: offline
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I personally love "honey-do-lists", but some men find them annoying. Nice answer to your question I know. Just please don't call your Dad if he doesn't get it done or does it incorrectly. My wife of 15 years does this and only recently realized how much it emasculates me. Not that I don't appreciate his help, it is just that I cherish the thought of being the one my wife can rely on.
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RE: You and the "honey-do list" - 11/2/2009 3:47:33 PM
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jhuperetes
Posts: 471
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Elena1030
Gentlemen,
When someone (your wife, girlfriend, friend, sister, guy pal, boss, whoever) asks you to do something, would you rather...
* have a deadline or a "whenever"?
If the stuff needs to be done by a certain date, put the date on the list. Otherwise I will get to it "whenever". But, have a good reason why it has a deadline.
quote:
* be given details on how to do it, or be left to figure it out for yourself?
No details, unless this is something normally I would not do.
quote:
* be asked when there's plenty of time to do it in, or be asked to help in a crisis?
Help in crisis? I expect to know about the crisis even before I am asked!
quote:
* have an entire list of projects to be done for the month, or be asked to do one major project at a time?
Depends on the size of the projects.
Recurring daily, weekly or monthly tasks are not projects in my book.
quote:
* have no "honey-do list" at all?
As long as there are nothing to be done. There are rarely such time with house and kids. Considering we run around, it is a good thing to write them down, so we can glance and see what still needs to be done.
quote:
Do you think of things to do to help/serve others without their asking you to do them? If so, what sorts of things?
Yes. Normally, he list whould only contain non- or rarely-recurring projects. All others are daily, weekly, or monthly chores, and if one has the time and energy whould pick them up.
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