A response to a question in marriage forum.
<< Strange Phenomenon >>
Where does the extra dishes and laundry come from?
Maybe we can figure it out....
-------
quote:
Feyth
The only "Huh?" moment I can think of is when I look at the kitchen sink and wonder how 2 people can dirty so many dishes!
There are several theories on this matter:
Interstellar:
States that objects have a secondary gravitational force that acts upon
like objects, clearing the "like objects" only increases the secondary
gravitation field to attract more "like objects" at a greater speed. This is
an attempt to explain why, if you clean of a counter top or table, another
(like) object will return in (micro) seconds Secondary Gravity or "SG" is
ranked in multipliers Normal gravity is +1. A multiplier is in addition to
normal gravity. So +2 would be 2x the normal +100 would be 100x normal
gravity.
A short list (by no means -complete) of "like objects:
Object Attracts w/listed multiplier(s)
Dryer top Clothing,(single socks +20) softener,
washing soap stain remover,
lint(x30) Pens(x4) crayons(x3)
pencils(x2) pennies(x80)
odds are there is a penny on your
dryer or one being pulled in at
this moment.
Special Note* Side loading washers also produce
this effect, however have an extra
+10 for all soaps, cleaners and
softeners. Top load washers seem
to have a lesser force -10
however the front of all washers
have a +15 for clothing which is
why it tends to pile around the
washer. With stackables Objects tend
to gather on shelves and table
Objects being rebuffed is why the
piles tend to be larger in front of
stackables
Dinning Table Universal black hole. which is why
extra lighting is required. Is a
+100 to all known and unknown
objects. From auto parts to cat
collars, Month old to-do lists to
the cat (not looking for the collar
-just pulled in by the table)
Children's items are another +50
and will often bury other items
without mercy.
Special Note* Cell phone +200 Keys+300 which is
why they are always at the bottom
of the pile
Floor(s)* special note* Floors must be broken
into each area as each has its own
secondary gravity.
Bathroom Floor Towels, wet towel+150 bring a wet
towel from 15 states away and its
going straight to the bathroom
floor all intentions of "washing it
out" or a quick rise are is just a
waste of time.. the floor will win.
Hair dryer, curling iron, hair
straightener, electric razor.
disposable razor, earrings no you
didn't drop it - the floor pulled it
from your hands
Living room floor Dirt, grass, clippings, mud, grime.
paint, oil, food All +20
Tile floor +2
Wood floor +5 (sand and grit +15)
carpet +10 (mud, grease, food +15)
sharp items+100 - any thing sharp.
nails, thumbtacks, staples. sewing
needles, pointy barbie shoes)
Doorway (main) Floor +150 for all items. Items become
increasingly heavier as one approaches
the doorway, objects tend to get
pulled down out of ones hands once
inside. This phenomenon seems to be
instilled into human psyche with the
phrases "if I can make it to the
doorway" (I can make it from there)
"I think I can make it to the
doorway" statements like these
question whether humans have known
all along about secondary gravity
especially at the doorway.
Special Note*
Children's items toys, clothes, dishes, food. Items
used by children seem to have all
resistance removed and go straight
for the floor. Backpacks are
separate, especially attracted to
walking areas+100 their not dropping
it - its suck down to the floor
The formula child's age is the multiplier.
However, the number of children is
always doubled.
Example: you have 2 kids 10 and 13
age is the multiple, so +10 and +13.
add them together to equal +23
now double +46.
Special gender multipliers boys +5 for dirt, grime and, snow
Girls +5 for clothing, hair care and
doll stuff
Kids bedroom floor multipliers still count. Clothing+50
magazines +15 paper+10
Special Note* **Under the Bed** beds in kids rooms combine with the
floor to generate a third gravity that
has effects on many items: Hair
berets+50 retainers+80
stale food +100, food containers+100
(exception = Pizza +500 left overs
and box) Left shoes+25 batteries
(all sizes)+25 Incomplete homework+200
Kitchen Floor food+5, dishes+10 pots/pans+5
glassware+100 (includes porcelain) When
have you broke glass anywhere else?
(light bulbs don't count) Right - the
Kitchen floor gets them all the time.
I know, you broke some in the sink. Not
really - you blocked it from getting
to floor.
Bathroom sink Rings+100 earrings+100 toothbrushes
(drain center)+25 Hair+500(drain)
spiders+25 (why they are always
stuck in the sink)
Kitchen Sink Another universal black hole which
requires it to have extra lighting.
Unlike the dinning table it is
specific to "like objects"
Dishes+5 Dirty dishes+500 pots/pans
cookware +5 dirty +250
Stoves and ovens seem to counter
balance the SG of some sink Items
(dirty cookwares) have been
known to linger on the stove or oven
for days before finally getting
pulled into the sink.
Sponges, dish rags, brushes
and SOS pads+1000 its a wonder we
can actually hold onto these things.
and why they are always at the bottom
of the sink. Silverware+6 dirty
silverware+600
bugs+5000 there isn't a bug in the
universe that isn't attracted to the
kitchen sink drain area. NASA is now
adding kitchen sinks to their search
for extraterrestrial life. Drop a sink on
Mars and if there is a bug anywhere
on the planet it will be in the sink
within an hour!
Special Note** Water, seem to have an opposite force on
dishes/cookware from the sink,
explains why items with water or
"soaking" tend to be next to the
sink and not in it. also why water
tends to pool just out side the sink,
it's not splashing it's being repelled.
Exception** Sponges, dish rags, brushes and SOS
pads Have an attraction to water.
water in kitchen Sink+1000 which
is why Said items are found at the
bottom of the sink in water a
majority of the time.
Special attraction Single Men+500 Married men+150
males for some reason tend to eat
near the sink. Females abhor this
behavior and tell the male to "get
a plate" and "sit at the table" In
truth, a sly ploy of the female to
get the male to clear the dark
force know as the "dinning
table" which will be stacked high
again before dinner
(see dinning table above)
---------------
Garden Gnomes:
Gnomes have been known to sneak in during a full moon. They wish to get
something to eat and wash up. (Coming to life only every 30 days or so,
wouldn't you?) It's well known that gnomes have poor eye sight - nearly
blind - so house wives began to "hide" their sinks with plants and nit-nacks.
Theory is that if the gnomes can't find the sink, they will also avoid the
laundry and leave. Because, no one eats in a freshly washed shirt. - it's a
guaranteed stain.
---------------
UFO's
Strange fact that extra dishes and laundry appear out of thin air. well,
if fact, they do. UFO's are landing and adding to the wash load. Nothing evil
or diabolical about it. They are just college students and earth is closer
than going home. drop off the wash, grab a bite and fly away. come back to
pickup as well as drop off. That's why a shirt or pants may go missing time
to time. Also they have 2 left feet so they will take an extra sock. Really
they do pay, but they just don't know that pennies aren't worth all that
much. (payment left on the dryer.)
---------
My Dog
At my house I'm sure the extra laundry is from the dog. He knows his
treats are kept in wash room. And that I am more likely to give him one
if I am in the wash room. So the longer he can keep me in the wash room
the more treats he gets.
-------
I think there was a formula that said, "singles are singles, but all others are squared."
After 1 all are squared. 2 people dirty much as 4, 4 dirty as much as 16 and so on.
/shrug Strange Phenomenon indeed..
Boats
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