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RE: When you say "just friends" - 10/5/2009 9:40:24 PM
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nwcs
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Hey Shema! I'm back (for today, anyway):
Yes, I would do that in both situations. :) And I wouldn't stop calling a girlfriend a friend or sister. I wouldn't worry about correcting the terms. I don't think she and I, nor our friends, will have any trouble seeing the deepness of the friendship.
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RE: When you say "just friends" - 10/5/2009 9:52:58 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: shemaromans
I'm piggybacking off dearmousie's thread (thank you!  )...
Do you ever call a woman "friend" or "sister" when you're not interested in her or you want to stifle her interest in you?
No. If I am not interested, and never will be, I just say that. I tend to reserve "sister" for the older ladies of the congregation and I seldom refer to anyone as "friend". If they are my friend and I am theirs then they don't need to be called friend they already know.
quote:
Have you or would you ever call a woman "friend" or "sister" that you are interested in?
Never. The vast majority of times I become interested in a woman long before any friendship could develop. (start edit) And by the time a friendship could develop she is either being pursued as a potential or already eliminated as a potential. (end edit)
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Would you stop calling the woman "friend" or "sister" if you developed an interest in her? How would you correct your initial "friend" term in order to convey your interest?
(non-applicable)
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Thank you!
You're welcome.
(edited for clarification)
< Message edited by John_O -- 10/6/2009 8:39:28 AM >
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: When you say "just friends" - 10/5/2009 11:15:27 PM
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dnp200450
Posts: 397
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quote:
ORIGINAL: shemaromans
I'm piggybacking off dearmousie's thread (thank you! )...
Do you ever call a woman "friend" or "sister" when you're not interested in her or you want to stifle her interest in you?
I have used both the terms “friend” and “sister” to cause women to back off.
quote:
Have you or would you ever call a woman "friend" or "sister" that you are interested in?
No, I don't think it is appropriate. In that instance I would use their name or nickname.
quote:
Would you stop calling the woman "friend" or "sister" if you developed an interest in her? How would you correct your initial "friend" term in order to convey your interest?
I don’t develop romantic interests in “friends” or “sisters”. It would be almost as problematic as dating a non-believer or dating someone from work or in the church I worship. It can create a major conflict-of-interest. Guys have to be careful about crossing the line.
quote:
Thank you!
You are welcome
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RE: When you say "just friends" - 10/10/2009 8:20:02 AM
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humbleinspirit
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Honestly, I have found the term "sister" to be off-putting, but in answer to your question, yes I have in the past. I do believe that it hampers true non romantic friendships too though. 
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RE: When you say "just friends" - 10/10/2009 11:17:02 AM
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shemaromans
Posts: 1880
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Thank you for your responses!
I agree with the bolded part below. In my opinion, people in relationships are also friends. We're also always brothers and sisters because we're first and foremost children of God. That's most important and will never change.
quote:
ORIGINAL: nwcs
Hey Shema! I'm back (for today, anyway):
Yes, I would do that in both situations. :) And I wouldn't stop calling a girlfriend a friend or sister. I wouldn't worry about correcting the terms. I don't think she and I, nor our friends, will have any trouble seeing the deepness of the friendship.
[/quote]
_____________________________
“By perseverance the snail reached the ark.”
-- Charles Spurgeon
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RE: When you say "just friends" - 10/10/2009 8:39:29 PM
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humbleinspirit
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quote:
ORIGINAL: shemaromans
quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
Honestly, I have found the term "sister" to be off-putting, but in answer to your question, yes I have in the past. I do believe that it hampers true non romantic friendships too though.
That's interesting. Do you mind elaborating on that?
Hi Shema, its just that whenever I am chatting with someone online or even in person, generally speaking when someone says I Love your as a brother or more specifically anything that has the word "brother" in it, tends to deflect from the closeness of the friendship. Its like saying I love you like I love everybody.
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RE: When you say "just friends" - 10/10/2009 9:01:08 PM
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humbleinspirit
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Maybe it is just me, but when people refer to me in general or generic terms, I tend to feel a little offended.
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RE: When you say "just friends" - 10/11/2009 11:01:27 AM
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makarizo
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Do you ever call a woman "friend" or "sister" when you're not interested in her or you want to stifle her interest in you?
I call my sister "sister" and friend all the time, and am completely not interested in her.
and if I want to "stifle " a woman's interest in me, I simply tell her up front and honestly that I am not interested in that kind of friendship.
Have you or would you ever call a woman "friend" or "sister" that you are interested in?
yes.............. why wouldn't I?
Would you stop calling the woman "friend" or "sister" if you developed an interest in her? How would you correct your initial "friend" term in order to convey your interest?
....... that question sounds a little messed up......... no i wouldn't
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RE: When you say "just friends" - 10/12/2009 9:10:13 PM
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humbleinspirit
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I was talking with a good friend earlier tonight, and while we mentioned that it wouldn't necessarily be in good taste to refer to a friend as just a sister in the first person, it is quite ok to tell others that so and so is a good sister/brother, etc.
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RE: When you say "just friends" - 10/13/2009 1:09:12 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: shemaromans
quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
Hi Shema, its just that whenever I am chatting with someone online or even in person, generally speaking when someone says I Love your as a brother or more specifically anything that has the word "brother" in it, tends to deflect from the closeness of the friendship. Its like saying I love you like I love everybody.
Well, the Bible does tell us to not show favoritism. 
I'm sorry that you feel that way when you hear those comments, but honestly I don't understand. It makes me feel wonderful to hear that I'm a brother's sister because it reminds me of God's gift of grace and the way he's made my life incomparably better than when I was lost. He's given me a purpose, an incorruptible hope, and a secure, blessed future. That means more to me than a word or two a man might use when addressing me.
I think part of the problem is that "brother" and "sister" have become churchified words meaning "That nice person from church who I really don't know too much about". In my experience (through several different churches) the terms are almost always used to describe older members of the congregation or perhaps the pastor's wife. (Sister Jane made a great apple pie for the picnic)
People we "know" are called by name. (Matt and I went fishing last week). Know what I mean?
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: When you say "just friends" - 10/25/2009 4:03:27 AM
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rockominal
Posts: 660
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On my end, I see two questions here. Not actually promulgated by the question, but just something that I thought about. In other words, calling her friend in order to stifle an interest that would be or should be obvious for me. As a side note, I've heard of instances, I'm sure everyone has, that an oberver might say something like "she sure like you". Now, in the case of female people who aren't dense in these matters like boneheaded guys, well, the already know that the guy likes her. Women are just smarter in these matters? Of course.
Therefore, if I actually wanted to stifle this known interest, I wouldn't call her anything at all. I would say, "I think we just need to move apart because I already feel bad enough in not being able to reciprocate your romantic thoughts [about me]. I don't really know what you feel, but please don't let go of those thoughts because they are a gift. I really wish I could do something, and I might even run into some guy that you might like. Maybe I could intermediate or until you find somebody else. Just please, hang in there. OK?"
I'd like to expound on this subject later concerning this girl at work that indeed I can call friend. I just need to take a hiatus of sorts right now. 
Great question!
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I might tell you the truth, or something pretty close to it. Jesus says, "I Am the Truth."
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RE: When you say "just friends" - 10/31/2009 9:02:20 PM
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KaptZ
Posts: 155
Joined: 10/28/2009
From: The swamps of Jersey
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"Just friends"
The romantic kiss of death.
"I like you Susie, but let's just be friends."
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RE: When you say "just friends" - 11/2/2009 3:51:12 AM
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rockominal
Posts: 660
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From: Indiana
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Yes, and back to the chick at work. She gives me a hug and calls me her "friend" because she knows that I won't try anything. That's all good, because I don't see her after work and I'm sure she has had to fend off enough people.
I went into some sort of spiel about not wanting to be a side kick and forgot to answer the actual question.  Maybe next time it would help to read first. Sorry about that.
Alrighty then. I already answered part one about stifling interest.
Now:
quote:
ORIGINAL: shemaromans
Have you or would you ever call a woman "friend" or "sister" that you are interested in?
That's a negative. I would say "hey, babe! How's it going? Then, I would slowly work my way up to different levels until I'm rejected.
quote:
ORIGINAL: shemaromans
Would you stop calling the woman "friend" or "sister" if you developed an interest in her?
Most definately.
quote:
ORIGINAL: shemaromans
How would you correct your initial "friend" term in order to convey your interest?
I would do it in such a manner that I would say friend once in a blue moon instead of constantly like I was. In other words, wean off of the "friend" and use terms such as "babe" or doll, or something like that. Maybe not sweetie and baby just yet but we're gonna try and get there real soon.
< Message edited by rockominal -- 11/2/2009 4:17:48 PM >
_____________________________
I might tell you the truth, or something pretty close to it. Jesus says, "I Am the Truth."
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RE: When you say "just friends" - 11/2/2009 9:03:28 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 1880
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Thank you for the replies. I apologize for not participating in this thread more, but I actually forgot about it for a while!
_____________________________
“By perseverance the snail reached the ark.”
-- Charles Spurgeon
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RE: When you say "just friends" - 11/5/2009 3:04:31 AM
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rockominal
Posts: 660
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From: Indiana
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I hate it when that happens. Actually that's not so bad. It's when I do remember a topic that I intended to get back into, and then I can't find it.
_____________________________
I might tell you the truth, or something pretty close to it. Jesus says, "I Am the Truth."
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RE: When you say "just friends" - 11/7/2009 10:40:22 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 16578
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rockominal
I hate it when that happens. Actually that's not so bad. It's when I do remember a topic that I intended to get back into, and then I can't find it.
Thats why I have my user preferences set to subscribe to any thread that I post in.
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RE: When you say "just friends" - 11/9/2009 3:22:57 AM
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rockominal
Posts: 660
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From: Indiana
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Perhaps you could hook up with Eric Johnson and just be friends with him and show me some of those fluent pentatonic moves of his.
_____________________________
I might tell you the truth, or something pretty close to it. Jesus says, "I Am the Truth."
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RE: When you say "just friends" - 11/9/2009 11:04:54 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 1880
Joined: 3/30/2007
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I will gladly volunteer for that task! He's an incredible guitarist.
_____________________________
“By perseverance the snail reached the ark.”
-- Charles Spurgeon
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